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I mean, just look at that honker.
你这样讲不太礼貌吧
That's not very nice.
你侵犯我鼻子才不礼貌呢
What's not nice is you violating my nose.
我不会再犯了
It's not gonna happen again.
不过既然你已经醒了
Hey, but listen, now that you're up,
不如让我给
why don't we just spritz
另一边的鼻孔也... -你敢
the other nostril-- - Don't you dare!
好好 不弄了
Okay, okay.
讲真 你自己才是整晚放连环屁放不停
And for your information, you fart all night long.
那是因为吃了你做的饭
It's 'cause of your cooking.
别再投喂我烤肉卷饼了
Quit feeding me fajitas.
亲爱的米希 此时我正搭乘第五趟出游的火车
Dear Missy, I'm currently on my fifth train ride
去探索德国
exploring Germany and the nations
和前奥匈帝国的领土
of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire.
奥匈帝国常被称作二元君主国
It's often referred to as a dual monarchy
因为哈布斯堡王朝的统治者
because the Hapsburg ruler was both
既为奥地利的皇帝 也是匈牙利的国王[饥饿]
the emperor of Austria and the king of Hungary.
果馅卷
说起饥饿... 有果馅卷
Speaking of hungry... strudel.
等等 等等
Wait! Wait!
等等 等一下[德语]
Warten! Warten!
这是德语的"等一下"
That's German for "Wait"!
你们也看到了 他们没等我
As you can see, they did not warten.
对方付费[德语]
美国德克萨斯州梅德福镇[德语]
4093566049[德语]
谢尔顿·库珀
Sheldon Cooper.
喂
Hello?
谢尔顿·库珀拨♥打♥的电♥话♥请求您支付费用
I have a collect call from Sheldon Cooper.
您是否愿意付费
Do you accept the charges?
抱歉 我爸说国际长途太贵了
Sorry, my dad said it's too expensive and--
米希 拜托 情况紧急啊
Missy, please, it's an emergency!
好吧 我付
Fine. I accept.
请继续通话
Go ahead.
干嘛
What?
我被困在德国
I'm stranded in a train station
魏因海姆的火车站 我不能打给妈妈
in Weinheim, Germany, and I can't call Mom
因为我谎称... -不好意思
because I lied about-- - Sorry.
有别的电♥话♥打进来 -等等 你别...
I'm getting another call. - Wait, don't--
喂
Hello?
泰勒是你呀
Oh, hi, Taylor.
我没安排 你在做什么
Nothing. What're you up to?
米希
Missy!
米希
Missy?
米希
Missy...
不只是因为你脱♥光♥光在洗澡
...and not just 'cause you're naked in the shower--
还因为你的裸体上沾满泡沫
'cause you're naked and all sudsy.
简直像在看MTV台一样 不过是在浴室里
It's like watching MTV, but in the bathroom.
但愿这话听起来不会很变♥态♥
Well, I hope that didn't sound creepy,
可你实在太美了 我忍♥不住一直看你
but you're so pretty I can't stop looking at you,
即使你穿着沾满丝丝呕吐物的衣服 也魅力不减
even with clothes on covered with CeeCee's spit-up.
你在看我写的信
Oh, you're reading my letter.
我等会再进来
I'll come back.
现在你倒想起要给我隐私了
Oh, now you want to give me privacy?
看来信是变♥态♥不是浪漫是吧
So, it was creepy, huh?
是有点
It was.
你要去哪
Where you going?
我要去洗澡
Well, I'm gonna go take a shower.
我可能不会锁门哦
Maybe I'll leave the door unlocked.
艳福来了
Well, all right.
我的钱全落在火车上 没办法回去海德堡[德语]
没事 年轻人 我们可以说英语
It's okay, young man, we speak English.
但你们英语不如我的德语流利 所以还是听我的
But not as well as my German, so stay with me.
你们能不能安排一辆警车送我回去[德语]
我们要不要送他[德语]
你想跟这话痨在车上共处一小时吗[德语]
你说得对 他烦死人了[德语]
你说你母亲在海德堡 我们联♥系♥她来接你吧[德语]
不行 她以为我在图书馆呢[德语]
你居然欺骗你妈妈吗[德语]
你这孩子太不乖了[德语]
我知道[德语]
所以可以送我回去吗[德语]
海德堡 18公里
老天 -老爸 出去
Oh God! - Dad, get out!
你为什么不锁门
Why didn't you lock the door?
我怕慢了错过好戏啊
I didn't want to miss anything.
我一直坐在这盯着你的照片看
...I've been sitting here staring at your picture,
回想我们在一起的这么多年
thinking about all the years we've been together
过去几年我可能把你的好当做理所当然了
and how I may have taken you for granted the last few.
其实我真的很感激你 很爱你
I do appreciate you, I do love you,
很抱歉我很少说出口
and I'm sorry I don't say it enough...
甚至从来没说过
or say it at all.
所以
So...
你好好养精蓄锐 等我回去后
rest up because when I get back,
我就要让你看看我有多么...
I'm gonna show you how mu--
喂
Hello?
老妈 是我
Mom, it's me.
我知道我不应该打长途
I know I'm not supposed to call,
但谢尔顿打来说他遇到麻烦了
but Sheldon called and said he's in trouble.
谢尔顿在图书馆啊
Sheldon's at the library.
不是的
No, he's not.
他被困在德国某处的火车站了
He's stuck at a train station somewhere in Germany.
他几时打的电♥话♥
When did he call?
我不知道 两三个小时前吧
I don't know. Two, three hours ago...
什么
What?!
电♥话♥费很贵的 我先挂了
You know, this is expensive, I should go.
我要宰了那臭小子
I'm gonna kill him.
你这是干什么
What are you doing?
我去别的房♥间睡
I'm gonna go sleep in the other room
这样我们就不会影响到对方了
so we don't bug each other.
你要丢下我一个人吗
And leave me here all alone?
我以为你会高兴
I thought you'd be happy.
我的鼻子可能会高兴 但我其余的部位都不会开心啊
Well, my nose might be happy, but the rest of me won't be.
除非你和我分房♥睡是因为我打鼾声音太吵
Unless you're leaving because my snoring is so bad.
打鼾这事还没实证
Alleged snoring.
没实证吗
Alleged snoring?
你没实证的鼾声
I'm going half deaf in this ear
都快把我这只耳朵炸聋了
from your alleged snoring.
总有折中的解决办法吧
Well, there must be a way to compromise.
折中 没法折中啊
Compromise? There's no compromise.
你又不肯让我喷你的鼻腔
You won't let me spritz your nasal passages.
就算我愿意 那也阻挡不了
Even if I did, that's not gonna stop
你裤子里释放的催泪毒气啊
the tear gas coming out of your pants.
洋葱下肚后就是会换个形态出来的
Onions in, onions out--
我们说过这事了
We talked about this, you know.
要命了
Oh, dear.
你好 是警♥察♥吗
Uh, hello? Police?
你会说英语吗
Sprechen English?
太好了
Good, good. Um...
我年幼的儿子在火车站迷路了
My little boy is lost at a train station.
我不知道是哪一个站
No, I don't know which one...
他身高大概1米77...
Um, he's, uh, five foot ten...
在我眼里他就是小宝宝
Well, he's little to me!
没事了
Never mind.
你发生什么事了
What happened to you?
不顺的一天
Tough day.
在图书馆吗
At the library?
是的
Yes.
你另一只鞋跑哪去了
Where's your other shoe?
我离开...图书馆的时候
When I was leaving... the library,
一条野狗袭击了我
a wild dog attacked me.
太惨了 宝贝
Oh, sweetie, no.
我英勇地将它击退了 但代价是没了一只乐福鞋
I fought him off, but at the price of a loafer.
你的书包呢
Where's your backpack?
可能也被那条狗叼走了
I guess he got that, too.
好吧
Well...
这一切也说得通 谢尔顿
that all makes sense, Sheldon,
如果事实真是这样
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