我们的世界末日（2015）

You, Me and the Apocalypse S01E01

Part 1 Jan. 5, 2021, 4:39 p.m.

See that?
看到了吗
That's what's going to kill everyone any second now.
这就是随时可能毁灭一切的罪魁祸首
It doesn't matter who you are, who you pray to,
你是谁你向谁祷告
black or white, straight or gay, rich or poor.
你的肤色你的性向是贫是富都不重要
Yeah, it's Judgment Day.
没错审判日到了
The actual apocalypse.
真正的启示录降临了
And where am I?
你问我在哪里
In Slough.
我在斯劳镇
Or rather, under Slough, watching it on telly.
更确切的说是在斯劳的地下看着电视里的这一切
One minute now. One minute.
再过一分钟一分钟
These pictures coming live to us from Hubble.
我们看到的是哈勃太空望远镜拍摄的直播画面
I know what you're thinking.
我知道你在想什么
Cheer up, you're one of the lucky ones!
开心点你可是幸运儿之一啊
My question is, am I?
可我想问我是吗
I mean, have you seen who else is in here?
你看到都是什么货色待在这里吗
Who are these people?
这都是些什么人啊
How the hell did this happen?
这到底是怎么回事
Are we the future of mankind?
我们就是人类的未来吗
I mean, seriously?!
我说不是开玩笑吧
The human race united as never before.
全人类达到空前的团结
It's time to brace ourselves to say goodbye.
是时候打起精神来说声再见了
Thank you all for watching. I hope we'll meet again.
感谢收看衷心希望我们能够再次见面
Hey, lovely.
嘿亲爱的
Message 2,610.
第2610条信息
It's my birthday. Yay!
今天是我的生日耶
Seventh one without you.
第七个没有你陪伴的生日
And it's not getting any easier.
我还是像以前一样难受
I thought it would, but nothing changes.
我以为会好起来的可是完全没有变
I still miss you...
我还是想你
..As much as I did on day one.
像你离开的第一天一样想你
So, usual stuff -
所以说还是老样子
if you're out there, give me a sign.
如果你在给我个信♥号♥♥
Anything. Just...
什么都行只要
a little birthday present.
一份小小的生日礼物
Blimey, you're up early.
天呐你起这么早
I haven't been to bed yet.
我还没睡呢
But good news, I am now officially a Level 3 Warlock.
好消息我正式成为一名三♥级♥法师了
All right!
超赞
Good to hear the career is going well.
看你事业顺利真替你开心
Aren't you tired of having exactly the same thing
每天早上花固定的时间
cooked for exactly the same amount of time every morning?
做着一成不变的饭你不烦啊
No. And by the way, it's Tuesday.
不烦顺便说一下周二了
No, don't sigh, just pay the rent.
别叹气付房♥租就行
I spend too much of my life having this conversation.
这个话题我都谈过多少次了
So set up a direct debit. Yeah, but then I'd be on the grid.
那就去开张借记卡那就有记录了
What grid?!
什么记录啊
Let's do a little experiment, shall we?
我们做个小实验怎么样
No. Let's not.
不不做
What happens if I do this?
如果我这么干了会怎样呢
Oh, no, he's out of his comfort zone.
哦不他的舒适区被破坏了
Heart pounding, palms clammy. Embrace it, this is therapy.
心跳加速手心冒汗接受吧这是一种治疗方法
Embrace the chaos.
安于混乱无序吧
Good news, I'm also timing it on my watch.
好消息我也用手表计时
So there!
就是这样
Hmm? I... Ah!
嗯我啊
Is this you teaching me to embrace the chaos?
你是为了告诉我坦然接受混乱是吗
You've burnt your mouth, haven't you?
你已经把嘴烫伤了对不对
Seriously, Jamie, these routines are killing you.
说真的 Jamie 你这一套流程会害死你的
You need to get some life back in your life.
你得给自己的生活添点活力
Noob! Noob!
新人新人
Be careful where you look, yeah? Don't look 'em in the eye.
四处张望的时候小心点别直视她们的眼睛
In here, it's a sign of aggression.
在这里那表示挑衅
You're in a world of pain, noob.
欢迎来到痛苦世界新人
Ignore 'em, just walk.
别理她们往前走
Noob! Noob! Noob! Noob! Noob!
新人新人新人新人新人
Noob! Noob! Noob! Noob! Noob!
新人新人新人新人新人
Deep breaths.
深呼吸
Deep breaths.
深呼吸
Noob! Noob! Noob! Noob! Noob!
新人新人新人新人新人
Welcome to the neighbourhood, noob.
欢迎来这一层啊新来的
She's fine, got dibs on that!
她不错嘛归我了
Going to rope it, soap it and grope it.
捆绑涂肥皂摸抚揉捏来个遍
This is temporary.
这是暂时的
No, no, I mean it. I'm going to get bailed out any second.
真的我随时都可能被保释出去
My lawyer's working on it.
我的律师正在办呢
So you'll come and get me as soon as it's posted, right?
保释金一交你就会立刻带我离开了对吧
I put a mint on your pillow. Enjoy.
我在你的枕头上放了颗薄荷好好享受吧
Ok.
好吧
OK, don't panic. Don't panic.
好吧别怕别慌
Hey, noob, over here.
嘿新来的这边
It's OK, don't be scared.
没什么不用怕
What's your name, noob?
你叫什么名字新人
Rhonda.
Rhonda
Rhonda, that's a nice name.
Rhonda 好名字
Fuck you, Rhonda.
去你的 Rhonda
Where's my money?
我的钱呢
See, this ring's for the Latinas. You pay rent, bitch.
这个牢房♥是拉美人的你得付租金贱♥人♥
Hey, why don't you leave her be?
嘿你就别招惹她行吗
This don't concern you. It's between me and the noob.
关你什么事啊这是我跟新人的事
I said, leave her alone
我说了离她远点
or else you and me is going to have a little problem, sweetheart.
不然咱俩就有些问题需要处理了小甜心
Hey, Rhonda, I'm Leanne.
嘿 Rhonda 我叫Leanne
Girl, I seen you on the TV.
妹子我在电视上见过你
You are quite the celebrity.
你可是个名人啊
You OK in there, hon?
你还好吧亲爱的
Uh, not really.
呃不怎么好
Now, don't you worry about them girls.
不用担心那些姑娘们
You're going to be just fine.
你会没事的
You're with me now
现在你跟着我了
and I ain't going to let nothing bad happen to you.
我不会让你出事的
Thank you.
谢谢你
Well, it is my pleasure, hon.
乐意效劳亲爱的
What are friends for?
朋友不就是这样吗
Et benedictus fructus ventris tui
你的亲子耶稣同受赞颂
Ave Maria, gratia plena
万福玛利亚你充满圣宠
Dominus tecum
主与你同在
Benedicta tu in mulieribus
你在妇女中受赞颂
Et benedictus fructus ventris tui
你的亲子耶稣同受赞颂
Ah, you must be the new work experience. Gavin, is it?
啊你就是新员工吧 Gavin 对吗
Welcome aboard.
欢迎加入
So, interested in banking, are we?
对银行业感兴趣对吧
Nah, I sent my form back late. All the good stuff had gone.
不我的表格交晚了好活都被抢完了
Oh, I see.
哦明白了
Well, any questions - don't be shy. Just ask.
如果你有任何疑问别害羞尽管问
So, you're one of them fat cats then?
这么说你也是大款高层的一员啊
One of the wankers that screwed us?
那些压榨我们的混♥蛋♥之一
Well, what do you think?
你觉得呢
Nah, you'd be better dressed.
不对大款不会穿这么寒酸
Good.
好
Any other questions?
还有问题吗
Yeah, got a hug for your mum?!
有给老妈一个拥抱
Oh!
哦
Mum, this is Gavin. Gavin, my mum.
妈这是Gavin Gavin 这是我妈妈
Loser.
废柴
Mum, I can't drink. I'm at work.
妈我不能喝我在上班呢
Nonsense.
胡说
I've got one child
我只有一个孩子
and I am going to help him celebrate his birthday.
我要为他庆祝生日
Plus, I just finished being on nights for a week. So, cheers.
再加上我终于熬完了一周的夜班干杯
Christ, I'm losing the will to live.
上帝啊我不想活了