多元一家人（2020）

我忍♥不住一直在想上帝昨天说的话
I-I can't stop thinking about what God said yesterday.
祂借我之口 在路易斯的葬礼上发言
When He spoke through me at Luis' funeral.
丘伊 我们真的赶时间
Chuy, we're really in a hurry.
当上帝和我说
Well, when God and I said that
所有人生活的脚步都太匆忙...
everyone is in way too much of a hurry...
好吧 但我们是真的赶时间 好吗
Okay, yeah, but we actually are in a hurry, okay?
露露的外套
Lulu's jacket.
你落在荷西的派对上了
You left it at Jose's party.
谢谢你 贝尼
Thank you, Beni.
孩子们 我们得赶紧出发
Uh, kids, we got to get out of here!
没关系 我有时间
That's okay. I've got a minute.
哥哥
Brother.
从前
Once upon a time.
我看穿你的把戏了 乔
I see what you did, Jo.
你故意在葬礼落下一件外套 然后又落下另一件...
You left one jacket at the funeral and the other at...
在荷西的派对上 明知道我们都会觉得
At Jose's party, knowing we would each feel compelled
必须来送还外套
to return the jacket...
借此机会化解
And settle the feud
-我们的恩怨 -我们的恩怨
- between us. ?- Between us.
没错 就是这样
Right. Yeah.
因为我们才不是一对因为带孩子
'Cause we're not just two stressed-out people
而心力交瘁的父母 无论到哪都丢三落四
with kids leaving crap everywhere we go.
我们的恩怨就在此时此地了结吧
This ends right here, right now.
你们要不要考虑去星巴克决斗
Hey, do you guys maybe want to do this at a Starbucks?
因为...
'Cause...
嘿 你难道不担心吗
Hey, aren't you worried?
不 希望他们杀死彼此
No. I hope they kill each other.
好了 我们赶上了 还有三分钟才开场
Alright, we made it, with three minutes to spare.
终于有一次我们的生活没被家人毁掉
For once, our family didn't blow up our lives.
怎么了
What?
天呐
My God.
我们可以叫醒她们
I mean, we can't wake them.
绝对不可以
No way.
她们会变身成魔鬼的
They'll turn into demons.
再见了 电影
Bye, movie.
再见了 50大洋
Bye, $50.
我发誓 她们绝对是故意在整我们
You know, I swear, they're messing with us.
又一场周末灾难
Another weekend disaster.
不 别沮丧 宝贝
Ohh. No, come on, babe.
听着 我看不成比赛
Look, I missed my game,
但你还是可以去做美甲的
but you can still go get your nails done.
我不能丢下你一个人
I can't leave you alone.
你别无选择
You have to.
我不能
I can't.
你就当我死了 我已经没救了
I'm already dead. It's too late for me.
但你还有机会活下去
But you can still live.
去吧 去做美甲
Go. Get your nails done.
万一她们醒了怎么办
What if they wake up?
她们肯定会醒的
They will.
快走吧 趁她们还没醒
Now...go, before they do.
别忘了我
Remember me!
我会永远爱你
I will always love you.
美甲店关门了
They're closed.
老天
God.
我们即将面对什么样的惨状
What are we about to walk into here?
可恶 所有人都还活着
Damn it. Everyone's still alive.
破坏这个家族的积怨
The feud that has destroyed this family
终于得以化解
is at last resolved.
我们终于意识到问题出在哪里
We finally realized what the problem was.
太好了 是什么
Great. What was it?
你
You.
你们在说什么疯话
What are you talking about?
乔 是你给我们的恩怨火上浇油
Jo, you stoked the flames of this feud.
你挑拨离间我们
You pitted us against each other,
就像个魔鬼操纵大♥师♥一样
like a demon puppet-master.
这话也太蠢了
That's insane.
是吗 乔
Is it, Jo?
昨天 我问你丘伊是否在生我的气
Yesterday, when I asked you if Chuy was mad at me,
你说 "你知道他这个人的"
you said, "You know how he is."
当我问你贝尼西奥是否在生我的气
And when I asked you if Benicio was mad at me,
你说 "你知道他这个人的"
you said, "You know how he is."
所以呢
So?
我到底是什么样的人 乔
How am I, Jo?
我又是什么样的
And how am I?
就是这样啊
Like this!
我们不同意
Well, we disagree.
你才是那个有有问题的人
You're the one who is.
并且一直持续有问题
And who continues to be "Is."
我吗
Me?
是我将这一大家子人团结在一起
I am the one who holds this whole family together.
听着 只有我们从不缺席
Listen, guys, we're the only ones
任何派对或葬礼
who go to every party and funeral.
乔堪称是你们家的胶水
I mean, Jo is the glue of your family.
你们真觉得我才是问题所在吗
And you actually think I'm the problem?
没错 我们刚刚就是这么说的
Yes, that's what we just said.
好吧
Sure.
嘿 祝你们晚上能睡得安心
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.
做一千个剥皮跳就能呼呼大睡
1,000 burpees.
吃点孩子的药加苦艾酒能帮我快速入睡
Children's Benadryl and vermouth.
丘伊·马科·亚历杭德罗·罗德里格斯
Chuy Marco Alejandro Rodriguez,
我解除优先占有权
I release the dibs.
贝尼西奥·亚历杭德罗·马科·罗德里格斯
Benicio Alejandro Marco Rodriguez,
我谢谢你
I thank you.
我们重新成为兄弟了
We're brothers again.
桑迪 你简直是奇迹缔造者
And, Sandy, you are a miracle worker.
她 她做什么了
W-What did she do?
我跟他们说是不能对大活人享有优先占有权的
I told them you can't call dibs on a person.
我觉得是可以的
Well, I think you can.
我们大家一起出去庆祝吧
Let's all go out and celebrate!
我请客 小伙子们
I'm buying, boys.
我们也想去 但是去不了
Okay, we'd love to, but we can't.
我们还得照顾孩子
We got the kids.
太遗憾了 我们走吧
Too bad! Come on, fellas.
你真得好好学学怎么享受周末了
You know, you really got to learn to enjoy the weekend, man.
顺便说下 我叫贝尼西奥
By the way, I'm Benicio.
我们做到了
Well, we did it.
又一个沉迷在书中的周末
Another weekend in the books.
不 我们没做到
No, we didn't do it.
艾米莉的家庭作业 还记得吗
Emily's homework, remember?
难以置信
Unbelievable.
每次感觉事情都做完了 实际上都没有做完
Every time we feel like we're done, we're not done.
艾米莉 我们走吧
Emily, let's go.
我为什么不能一直玩培乐多橡皮泥呢
Why can't I just play with Play-Doh?
名字里都写了个"乐"字
It's in the name.
因为人无法每时每刻都做自己想做的事 宝贝
Because you can't just do whatever you want every second, sweetie.
你们就是想干什么就干什么啊
You do whatever you want.
什么
What?!
你♥爸♥只想看比赛
Your dad wanted to watch the game.
我想去做美甲
I wanted to get my nails done.
我们这周末想做的事一样都没做成
We didn't get to do anything we wanted to do this weekend.
我想吃冰淇淋
Well, I want ice cream.
不行 去做作业
No. Do your homework.
如果你给我冰淇淋 我就去做
I'll do it if you give me ice cream.
不准吃冰淇淋
No ice cream!
好吗 快去做家庭作业 立刻
Okay? Go! Do your homework! Now!
你太坏了 我讨厌你 妈妈
You're so mean! I hate you, Mom!
那可真是情感重击啊
Wow, that was an emotional hit job.
好吧
Alright.
听着 她并不讨厌你
Look, she doesn't hate you.
我知道 但还是很伤 天呐
I know, but still. Gosh.