多元一家人（2020）

so my wife, Brie, and I
给你们送来了一个救济盒
put together a charity box for you.
丘伊 我们都在家族企业工作
Chuy, we both work for the family business.
我跟你挣的一样多
I make the same as you do.
别装了 乔 是我啊 你哥
Come on, Jo. It's me, your brother!
车子"送去修了"
The car is "In the shop,"
你们还和比尔的妈妈住在一起
you're still living with Bill's mom.
不 是她和我们住在一起
No, she lives with us.
-这可说不准 -不 就是这样
- It's unclear. - No, it isn't.
我还看了你们的回收垃圾
And I checked your recycling.
里面有12个啤酒罐
There were 12 beer cans in there.
所以呢
So?
听着 大家都知道我喜欢在周五晚上
Look, I've been known to enjoy a cerveza on a Friday night
在孩子入睡后喝瓶啤酒
after the kids go to bed,
但你们几乎每晚人手一瓶啊
but each of you is drinking almost a beer a night.
这个嘛 多数都是乔喝的
Okay, well, most of those are Jo's.
你们都快被这些危险信♥号♥♥淹没了
I can barely see you guys behind all these red flags.
好吧 你大概该去上班了 对吧
Okay, well, you should probably be getting off to work, huh?
时间就是金钱
Time is money.
不不不 时间就是时间
No, no, no. Time is time.
如果你明白这点 或许你已经有钱了
Maybe if you knew that, you'd have money.
*ZYXWVUT*
* Z, y, x, w, v, u, t... *
你在干什么 宝贝
Oh, whatcha doing, sweetie?
倒着背字母表
The alphabet backwards.
你们不打算纠正她吗
Aren't you gonna correct her?
他们不会的 我试过了
They won't. I've tried.
我们打算今天去和她老师开会时
We will just see what her teacher has to say about it
看她老师有什么可说的
today at her conference.
所以你们要让老师帮你们教养孩子吗
Oh, so, you're gonna let the teacher parent your child for you?
或许吧
Maybe.
瞧 丘伊 这就是我跟你发短♥信♥说的态度问题
See, Chuy, this is the attitude I was texting you about.
好吧 听着 我懂 好吧
Okay, no, look, I got it, alright?
过来 宝贝
Hey. Hey, you.
在学校里一切都好吗
Is everything alright at school? Hmm?
你捣乱了吗
Have you been disruptive?
我不知道啊 爸爸
I don't know, Dad.
你捣乱了吗
Have you been disruptive?
戳戳
Boop!
真不敢想我们在这
I can't believe we're here
而我兄弟加里在意大利的游艇上
and my brother Gary's on a yacht in Italy.
我的八个兄弟都在法庭上 互相撕逼打官司
Eight of my brothers are in court, on opposite sides.
我不想去开什么蠢会
I don't want to go to some dumb conference
听别人说我们是糟糕的父母
and hear that we're bad parents.
真糟心
This sucks.
我们两个不必都糟心
Doesn't have to suck for both of us.
想得美 你得一起去
Oh, nice try. You're going.
好吧 我们需要个计划
Okay, you know what? We need a plan.
我能提个积极的建议吗
Can I make a positive suggestion?
-可以 -那我说了
- Okay? - ?Okay.
你总是希望...所有人都喜欢我们
You tend to need... everyone to like us,
所以你能不能别在那里牵我的手
so would you mind not holding my hand in there,
就为让别人觉得我们很恩爱
just to make us look good?
好吧 我能提个积极的建议吗
Okay. Can I make a positive suggestion?
当然
Sure.
我们每次一谈起孩子你就很激动
You get very emotional whenever we talk about the children,
所以求求你别哭
so don't start crying
然后把会议变成你的个人心理治疗
and then turn this into your personal therapy.
好吧 好吧 行行行 可以
Alright, alright, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
我就再说个积极的建议
Just being positive again --
别在她还没开玩笑的时候就大笑
don't laugh when she hasn't made a joke.
你总这样 太怪异了
You do that, and it's weird.
懂我意思吗
Know what I mean?
好吧
Okay.
还有 我也是超级积极的
Also, being super positive --
别借花献佛让我免费给全班同学做卷饼
don't volunteer me to make tacos for the class,
否则我会发飙的
or I will freak out.
好吧 感觉这些积极建议已经够用了
Okay. Alright. That feels like enough positivity for n--
天呐 到点了
Oh, God. It's time.
好吧 我们别想太多
Alright. Let's not overthink this.
我们光听不说
We will listen, not talk.
这事重点在于艾米莉 不是我们
It's about Emily, not us.
好的 光听不说 记住了
Great. Listen, don't talk. Got it.
-哪个更重要 -艾米莉很独♥立♥
- What's more important? - You know, Emily's independent.
-朋友还是个性 -美国人都很独♥立♥
- Friends or character? - Americans are independent.
其实这就是我们庆祝独♥立♥日的原因
Actually, that's why we celebrate Independence Day.
什么是"不普通" 爱因斯坦普通吗
And what is "Unusual"? I mean, wasn't Einstein unusual?
对啊 毕加索普通吗
Right. Wasn't Picasso?
还有那个谁来着
Wasn't, uh... who's that fellow?
艾米·汉莫普通吗
Armie Hammer?
首先 你们好
First of all, hello.
这不是笑话
Not a joke.
请坐吧
Please, have a seat.
我打电♥话♥时你们显得很紧张
You seem nervous I called you in.
我当然紧张了 我女儿知道我会怎么死
Of course I'm nervous. My daughter knows how I'm gonna die.
我觉得有这个必要 鉴于艾米莉的
Well, I felt it important, given Emily's...
癖好 你们还是当面听一下...
quirks, that you hear in person --
-天呐 -开始了
- Oh, boy. - Here we go.
我觉得艾米莉...
that I think Emily is...
棒极了
...great.
好吧 听着 你为何觉得...
Alright, listen, where do you get of--
等等 什么
Wait, what?
哇 这太好了
Wow. That's terrific.
真是松了一大口气
That's actually a gigantic relief.
而且我觉得你可以发短♥信♥告诉我们这个
Also feels a bit like you could have texted it.
就是啊
Yeah.
那她和别的孩子相处得好吗
So, she gets along with other kids?
不好
No.
但她最好的朋友是她的想象力
But her best friend is her imagination.
她让我想起了我多年前的一个学生
She actually reminds me of a student I had years ago
那人最后进了哈佛
who wound up going to Harvard.
-不错啊 -真有他的
- Neat. - ?Good for him!
但他遭遇了雪崩 被埋在下面
Yeah, well, he was crushed by an avalanche.
妹子 他惨死了
Girl, he dead.
-不 -节哀顺变
- Oh, no. ?- Sorry for your loss.
总之 艾米莉
Anyway, Emily.
她在社交方面稍有障碍 但她仍然很快乐
She struggles a bit socially, but still, she's happy,
所以你们一定是优秀的父母
so you must be great parents.
你知道吗 今天早上
You know, uh, this morning,
我妈还说我养育小孩的方式不对
my mom said that I was raising my kids wrong,
但她错了
but she's wrong.
她...
She...
对我的看法是不对的
...was wrong about me.
对不起
I'm sorry.
肖老师 非常感谢你
Mrs. Shaw, thank you so much.
不客气
My pleasure.
其实 我们准备办一个国际食物日
We're actually having an international food day,
-你们有兴趣当志愿者吗 -不了 抱歉
- if you want to volunteer. - Oh. Nope. Sorry.
不行 我得上班 抱歉啦 很忙
No, I can't. Gotta work. Sorry. Busy.
艾米莉很棒 保持积极态度真的有用
Emily's great! Positivity works!
我等不及要打我妈的脸了
I can't wait to rub it in my mom's face.
我也是
Me, too.
刚才那个是谁
Oh, who's that?
鬼知道
No clue.
你大概正纳闷我们为什么邀请你来
You're probably wondering why we invited you in.
你们需要钱
You need money.
今天 我们决定保持积极的态度
You see, today, we've decided to be positive.
有意思
Interesting.
在跟老师谈话时
And at our conference,
她说她很喜欢艾米莉
the teacher said she loves Emily.
老师还说
And the teacher added
艾米莉让她想起一个后来考上了...