圣路教（2016）

The Path S03E13

Part 6 April 28, 2021, 11:40 a.m.

But if you're here...
留在这
Be here.
我们一起致敬维拉·史蒂文斯
Let us honor Vera Stephens
像她一样投身于这场运动
by being as dedicated to The Movement as she was.
感谢你能来
Thank you for coming.
去你的
Fuck you.
5分钟
Five minutes.
那那我们就
Uh--uh, well, let me, um--
喝茶吗
You want some tea?
不你求我来的
No, you begged me to come over.
-我真的很生气 -你的确应该
- I'm really mad. - Uh, you have every right--
你真的把我吓惨了
You know, you scared the shit out of me.
-对不起 -我到那的时候
- I'm so sorry. - And I went there,
我还以为你死了呢
and I thought that you were dead,
但是是维拉我看见她的脸了
but it was Vera, and I saw her face.
-太糟糕了 -对不起真的对不起
- And it was awful. - I'm so--so--I'm so sorry.
我是为了森林才来的
I'm here for Forest,
所以告诉我你到底想当面说什么
so just tell me what you needed to say in person
不能在电♥话♥里说
and not over the phone.
不其实不是
No, it's--well, it's not that I--
不能在电♥话♥里说
it couldn't be said on the phone.
我只是
I just, um...
我只是想我说的时候你能看着我
I just wanted you to look at me while I said it.
我看着呢
I'm looking.
说吧
Say it.
对不起
I'm sorry...
玛丽
Mary.
真的很对不起
I'm so sorry.
要是你再这么做呢
What if you do it again?
我要生活在恐惧当中吗
Do I have to live in fear?
这是最糟糕的事情
You know, it's the worst--
不我不会再这么做了
No. No, I won't.
你的话不如放屁
Your word is shit.
我知道
I know.
但是我会找人帮忙
But I'm gonna get help,
真正的帮助
real help.
我会开始工作
I'm gonna start to do the work.
我会我会试着
I'm--I'm gonna try to...
面对我已经被
deal with the fact that I was
性♥虐♥待了数十年的事实
sexually abused for a decade.
那你要和迈耶教的人待在一起吗
But are you gonna stay with the Meyerists?
-暂时的 -为什么
- For now, yeah. - Why?
解释起来有点难
Uh--um, hard to explain,
但是
but, um...
我会尝试因为你问了
I'll try, because you're asking.
就像是我
It's like I--
我生理上走不开
I--physically, I can't walk away--
你是精神上走不开
Mentally, you can't walk away.
也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
但是不管是什么原因我都离不开
But, for whatever reason, I can't,
无论如何现在不行
not yet, at any rate.
我想着和你一起离开这也是我想要的
I think about leaving with you, and I want that, but...
但是我所看到的自己
In the picture I see of myself,
我
I'm...
我只是徒有人形
I-I'm--I'm this shell of a person.
到处都是佛罗里达州的影子我没有目标
It's Florida all over again. I have no purpose.
我
I...
我在一家咖啡店工作
I... I work in a coffee shop.
但其实有更多的意义
But it's more than that.
就是这个地方把我毁了
It's this place that ruined me...
但是也拯救了我
But it also saved me...
那就是我的家
And...it's home.
老实说我爱它
And honestly...I love it.
我我爱
I-I love...
需要我的人
The people who need me,
想要好起来的人
who want to be well.
我爱
I love...
光明的信息
the message of The Light.
我喜欢它全部的思想
I love the whole idea of it.
所以我
So I can't...
不能离开
walk away.
暂时不能
Not yet.
你也许永远都离不开
You might never be able to.
也许
I might not.
但是我
But I...
我觉得我能够变回那个你爱的人
I think I can be the man you love again.
-你依旧是 -不但是
- You still are. - No, but...
是真的配得上你的
But really worthy of you.
我想要改变
I want to be.
谢谢你来见我
Thanks for meeting me.
在院子里我实在不能面对你
I couldn't bear to face you earlier at the compound.
你并不能改变什么
There's nothing you could've done.
我应该听她的
I could've listened.
我应该把利莉丝留在医院
I could've left Lilith in that fucking hospital!
我和你同样错的太多了埃迪
I'm just as much to blame as you are, Eddie.
我找到的利莉丝我求你去见她
You know, I found Lilith, and I begged you to see her.
她已经在我们的生活里了
She was already in our lives.
是她把维拉带进了我们的生活里
She was the one who sent Vera to us,
我求着她拿回她的工作
who I begged to take her job back, by the way.
她都不应该出现在那
She shouldn't have even been there.
她想去那
She wanted to be there.
她想要帮你埃迪
She wanted to help you, Eddie.
不她不想让我翻旧账
No, she didn't want me to dig up shit.
她想让我向前看让过去的事留在过去
She wanted to move forward, let the past be the past.
不是这么简单就能解决的
That's not how it works.
真♥相♥是唯一前进的道路
The Truth is the only way to move forward.
那你告诉我
Okay, then tell me...
你能感觉到什么吗
Do you feel anything?
光明
Any Light?
为什么问这个
Why are you asking me this?
因为我向你保证过
Because I promised you
如果我们这么做了一切就又能变成现实了
that if we did this that everything would be real again.
-有变化了吗 -还没结束
- Is it? - We're not finished.
-我不知道 -你找到了卡尔
- I don't know. - You found Cal.
萨拉你救了他的命
Sarah, you saved his life.
你什么什么都感受不到吗
You don't--you don't feel anything?
我不知道
I don't know.
你是因为这才叫我来的吗
Is that why you asked me to meet you?
看看我是否又相信了
To find out if I believe again?
不我叫你来是因为
No, I asked you to meet me because...
我需要你
I need you.
不管我接下来要做什么我都希望你在
Whatever I do next, I want you there.
我逼你
I hounded you.
怀疑你还害你差点被杀了
I doubted you, and I almost got you killed.
不不是你害我差点被杀的
No, you didn't almost get me killed.
我不知道该怎么做
But I don't know what I would've done...
要是要是我回家的话
all right, if I--if I came home and--
那我就失去你了
And I lost you.
那就别
Then don't.
别失去我
Don't lose me.
留在我身边
Stand by me.
好吗
Okay?
不管我接下来做什么
Whatever I do next...
因为我知道
Because I know
没有你我会变成什么样
who I become without you.
她已经可以转变了
She's ready to transition.
你们准备好了就开始
Whenever you're ready.
我记得
I remembered, uh...
小时候和她一起
being a child with her.
那个夏天维拉和我们一起
The summer that Vera was with us,
对史蒂文来说