东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S06E09

Part 2 Sept. 9, 2025, 11:20 a.m.

No way, that's cheating.
我想自己写
I want to write this myself.
拥抱未来马尔科姆
Embrace the future, Malcolm.
以前人们还认为计算器是作弊呢
People used to think calculators were cheating.
还有拼写检查
And spell- checkers.
现在我们认为是理所当然
And now we take them for granted.
现在你可以把人工智能当做理所当然（花岗岩） -是
And now you can take AI for granite. Yeah.
音同意不同
Gran- ite.
岩石
The rock.
是
Yeah.
这可怜娃娃投错胎子啊
This poor kid will be born stuffed in a locker.
天
Man.
嘿戴夫
Hey, Dave.
怎么样了啊 -还不错
How's it going? Not bad.
看
Check it out.
花这么长时间就装了个这
All this time, that's it?
条腿
One leg?
我把D腿销钉装A腿上了
Well, I put the dowel for the D leg in the A leg.
然后锁定支架的时候我用了长螺钉A
Then, I used long screw A in the locking bracket
而实际上我应该用短螺栓C 所以
when I was supposed to use short bolt C, so...
我不得不重新开始
I had to start over.
你确定那条腿装对了
Are you sure that leg is right?
确定
Yes.
确定吧
: Yes.
让一边去我来
Step aside. I'm taking over.
我才不会把我的可爱小孙女
I'm not gonna put my sweet little grandbaby
放到你这纸牌屋上
on your house of cards.
你笑什么
What are you smiling about?
我在想你的可爱小孙女
I was just thinking about your sweet little grandbaby.
我不喜欢这笑容戴夫出什么事了
I hate smiles, Dave. What's going on?
没事啦我只是
No, it's nothing, I just- -
有件关于她的事我知你不知
I know something about her that you don't know.
我都不知道你怎么会知道的
How would you know if I don't know?
我说得够多了
Look, well, I've said too much.
不许走有史以来第一次
Oh, no, for the first time ever,
此言差矣
not true.
好吧是这样
Okay, look,
珍玛让我保密
Gemma swore me to secrecy,
可你是我最好的朋友
but you are my best friend
而且如果有漏洞的话
and if there's any loophole,
也是指可以对你最好的朋友讲
it's for your BFF.
是是是如果必须要付出这种代价行吧
Yeah, yeah, you know, if that's what it takes, absolutely.
最好的朋友可以
BFF, yeah.
宝宝名字
The baby's name
叫佩内洛普
is Penelope.
佩内洛普
Penelope.
好吧行吧挺好听的我喜欢
Okay, yeah, that's cute. I like that.
对吧我敢说我们很多人
Yeah, right? You know, I bet a lot of us
都会叫她菠萝
are gonna call her Pineapple.
我一直都很喜欢这个名字
You know, I- I've always liked that name.
中学时候我有一同学就叫佩内洛普
I knew a Penelope in middle school.
好拜托你可什么都别说啊
Oh. All right, well, please, you can't say anything.
珍玛会杀了我的
Gemma will kill me.
好听好我肯定守口如瓶
AlI right, look, your secret's safe with me.
好谢了兄弟对了
AII right, thanks, buddy. And by the way,
祝你组装柜子好运
good luck on the cabinet.
这是说明书
Here are the instructions.
戴夫我可是大老爷们不需要说明书
Dave. I'ma man, I don't need no damn instructions.
好吧
Okay, uh
这个人工智能网站我该从哪入手
Where do I start with this AI site?
看起来真的很复杂
This looks really complicated.
给我写一篇关于火成岩的三页的论文
Write me a three- page paper about igneous rocks.
好怎么可能
Okay, how is that possibly- -
搞定
And done.
不可能这东西怎么可能
No way. There's no way this thing
两秒钟就写出一篇好论文
can write a good paper in two seconds.
这也
This is.
该死
Oh, damn.
我们去吃寿司吧
Let's go get some sushi.
不行啊马蒂我不能就这么交上去
No, no, Marty, I can't just turn this in.
我希望这篇文章有我的努力在里面
I want this work to be my own.
行吧就把人工智能写出来的东西
Oh. Okay, well, take what AI wrote
傻瓜化一下
and then dumb it down.
马尔科姆改良
Malcolm it up.
嘿宝儿 -怎么 -看下这个
Hey, babe. Check it out. Yeah?
我就是这方面的艺术家
I'm an artist with this thing.
单手搞定
One- handed.
后手掏
Behind the back.
蒙眼
Blindfolded.
好吧这个有点没钻好
Okay, that was a little off right there.
优选刚送来了最可爱的粉色连体衣
Well, Prime just delivered the cutest pink onesies,
围兜袜子毛衣连粉色尿布套都有
bibs, socks, sweaters, even pink diaper covers.
我还买♥♥了刺绣机
I've got the embroidery machine
可以把宝宝名字都给绣上去
to put the baby's name on all of them.
我现在没有的就是名字
What I don't have is the name.
保密也算是种传统对不对
Well, I mean, keeping it secret is kind of a tradition, right?
更可以说是迷信
More like superstition.
我还以为他们不会这么守旧呢
You know, I thought they'd be smarter than that.
一个认为把手袋放地上
Says the woman who thinks we'll go broke
我们就会破产的女人竟然会说出这话
if you put your purse on the floor.
我们破产了吗 -没啊
Are we broke? No.
不客气
You're welcome.
我可是奶奶哎
You know, I'm the grandmother.
我应该比任何人都早知道对吧
I should know before anybody, right?
是太太扯了
Right. That's...That's crazy.
卡尔文·热罗尼莫·巴特勒
Calvin Geronimo Butler,
你是知道点什么吗
do you know something?
容我狡辩
Listen. Oh.
当某人告诉你个秘密
When somebody tells you a secret, Uh- huh.
他们是希望你告诉你配偶的你不觉得吗
they expect you to tell your spouse, don't you think?
是是希望继续说下去
Yeah, they do, they do, move on, move on.
所以所以好
So, so, so...AlI right, so,
这事你不能说出去只能你知我知
you have to keep this just between us.
好吗 -当然了宝儿
AII right? Of course, baby.
好
AIl right.
戴夫说珍玛听到
So, Dave says Gemma heard
马蒂说
Marty say...Uh- huh.
宝宝名字是佩内洛普
...that the baby's name is Penelope.
佩内洛普
Penelope.
很好听对不对
It's cute, right?
我知道你会觉得好听
I know you think it's cute.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
得了吧卡尔文
Oh, come on, Calvin.
佩内洛普
Penelope?
你第一任女友的名字
The name of your first girlfriend?
那会儿才七年级
That was seventh grade.
她算不上是我女朋友啦
And she was hardly my girlfriend.
净瞎想
You wild.
所以你跟一个都算不上是
So you had hot and heavy make out sessions
女朋友的女生热吻
with a girl that wasn't even your girlfriend?
就亲了那么一回
It was one kiss.
我接受不了
You know, I can't, I can't,
我没办法把
I cannot embroider
你亲过嘴的第一个女生的名字
these adorable pink baby clothes
绣到这些可爱的粉色婴儿衣服上
with the name of the first girl you slobbed down.
佩内洛普
Penelope.
这是我姨奶奶希拉送的
Oh, that's from my great aunt Sheila.
我都不知道塔吉特百货还卖♥♥五美元礼品卡呢
I didn't know Target sold five- dollar gift cards.
嘿马蒂嘿考特尼嘿
Oh, hey, Marty, hey, Courtney. Hey.
我想跟你们说件事
Um, well, I wanted to tell you something,
我知道轮不到我来讲我也从没干涉过