东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S06E03

Part 2 Sept. 9, 2025, 11:20 a.m.

Guess what the temperature is in mv freezer riqht now.
我觉得应该有
I'm qonna say, uh
“我他喵的不在乎”度吧
"I don't give a damn"degrees.
接近了 23华度
Close. It's 23.
看呐我们的房♥屋估价的新邮件到了
Look, the e- mail iust came in with our new appraisal.
来钱了来钱了
Ooh, here comes our monev.
好嘞好嘞
Well, all riqht, all riqht.
上面写了什么 -还在加载
What did it say? Well, it's still loadinq.
数额一定不小
Must be biq.
什么鬼
What the hell?
卡尔文你看
Calvin, look at this.
什么鬼
What the hell?
我们是住在桶里吗
Do we live in a bucket?
为什么跟你家比起来差这么多
Why is this so much less than yours
我们面♥积♥相同只隔了20英尺
when we're 20 feet apart with the same square footage?
好吧知道吗别担儿
Okav, you know what? Don't worry.
我敢保证只要你们稍微打理一下
I'm sure if you, if vou put a little TLC in,
比如把台阶修好
you know, you fix up the steps,
把陈旧的配色重刷一下
ygy spryce yp the dated color scheme,
我相信
I'm sure...Uh
戴夫问题不在房♥子的配色上
Dave, it's not the color of the house.
而是里面住户的肤色上
It's the color of the people who live here.
我去这种事虽然之前有所耳闻
Oh, man. I mean, you hear about this stuff,
但发生在你身上时还是会瞠目结舌
but vou're always surprised when it happens to you.
这是赤♥裸♥裸的制度性种族主义
This is straight- up institutional racism.
天啊可以给我一个阿门吗
Preach. Can I qet a amen?
阿门上天一定会满足你
Amen. Won't he do jt?
我一直都想这么做来着
I've always wanted to do that.
出什么事了
What's qoinq on?
看他们把我们的房♥子
Look- look how little
估得多么不值一提
they're saving our house is worth.
好了听我说我们并不知道具体原因
Now, now, we don't know what went into this.
也许鉴定人发现了某种致命的霉菌
MMavbe the appraiser found some sort of killer mold.
什么颜色霉菌戴夫 -黑色的吗
What color mold, Dave? Black?
我看不出霉菌有颜色
I don't see color in mold.
知道吗我知道怎么能贷到高价了
You know what? I know how we can qet a decent loan.
我们让那个银行再找个估价师来
We're qonna call that bank back and qet a second appraiser,
等他来了你猜怎么着 -怎么着
and when he shows up, quess what? What?
卡尔文和蒂娜·巴特勒会变成一对白人
Calvin and Tina Butler- - they're qonna be white people.
哦你是说找一对夫妻假扮我们吗
Yeah. You mean get another couple to pretend to be us?
好主意打算让谁来演
This is a great idea but who we thinkinq?
我觉得可以是凯文·贝肯和瑞茜·威瑟斯彭
I think it should be Kevin Bacon and Reese Witherspoon.
是我们戴夫我们来当白皮巴特勒
It's us, Dave. We're the white Butlers.
好嘞搞起来
Well, all riqht!
好的家庭照片
Okav, family pictures,
黑人艺术品全都搬走
Black artwork it's all qot to qo.
我们得把这里洗白白
We qot to whiten this place up. Mm- hmm.
好的珍玛杀手锏带来了吗
Okav. Gemma, did you bring the qood stuff?
葡萄酒时间到
"It's wine o'clock"
真棒完美
Yesl Perfect.
我带了些音乐过来
AIl right, I brought some music
带了有三连乐队还有肯尼三雄
I've qot the trifecta, the three Kennv's:
肯尼·洛金斯：美国创作型歌♥手
肯尼·罗杰斯：另一位美国创作型歌♥手，以其乡村流行歌♥曲而闻名
Gorelick：美国萨克斯管演奏家，以流畅的爵士风格和流行歌♥曲
如《歌♥鸟》和《永远相爱》而闻名
肯尼·G：全名Kenneth Bruce
洛金斯罗杰斯和老
Loqgins, Roqers, and G.
看来得把肯尼·拉蒂莫藏起来咯
I quess we need to hide the Kenny Latimore.
对吧
Okay?
肯尼·拉蒂莫是谁
Who's Kenny Latimore?
看到没
See?
你这些鞋我还得再往我家
I'm qonna take another load of vour shoes
送一摞老爸 -很好
over to our place, Pop. Okav, qood.
好吧我得问问
Okav, I just qot to ask.
黑人为什么要有这么多双鞋
Why is it that Black people have so many pairs of shoes?
哦你知道吗
Oh, hey, you know what?
这问题问得好
That is a fair enouqh question
我也一直想知道
because I alwavs wanted to know
你们白人怎么就那几双鞋 -是啊
how do white people qet away with so few? Yes.
知道吗
You know,
不同的场合要穿不同的鞋
you need shoes for every occasion.
对
Riqht.
有运动要穿的鞋工作穿的鞋
You qot qym shoes, you qot work shoes
上教堂的鞋
you qot church shoes,
看电影的鞋喝咖啡鞋
you qot movie shoes, coffee shoes,
放松鞋一般的鞋和购物鞋
chillin'shoes and shoe shoppinq shoes.
好吧要是你不小心穿着
Okav, well- well, what if you accidentally
放松的鞋去看电影呢
wore your chillin' shoes to the movies?
谁会这么做啊
Who would do that?
那样就不放松了懂吗
Then you wouldn't be chillin'. You know?
这些都是乔丹鞋吗
Are these Michael Jordans?
好吧慢着小心
Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy.
慢点把它们放下
Whoa, whoa. Put those down.
这些不是用来穿的
Those- those aren't for wearinq.
那你干嘛还留着
Well, why do you have them then?
它们是收藏品
Well, they're collectibles.
几年前
A few years aqo,
一位来到我修车广的顾客
a customer came into the Pit Stop
付不起新的变速器
and couldn't afford a new transmission.
马尔科姆说服我收下
Malcolm convinced me to accept
他一双乔丹4s作为付款
a pair of Jordan 4s for payment.
它们现在值多少钱
And how much are they worth now?
售价为6000美元
They are selling for six qrand.
有一天
And, someday,
我会把江山继承下来
these will be my inheritance.
哦不不这些我要带走的
Oh, no no. These are qoing with me.
没错要跟着我进棺材的
Yeah, these are my coffin shoes.
死人也要走路的
Dead man walkinq!
哇哦我去这鞋好牛
Ooh, now, these are fire.
你知道这双值多少吗
You know how much these are worth?
我知道你给我退后
I do. Now, back up.
可远观而不可亵玩兄弟
Look but don't touch, my brother.
天你怎么跟奢侈品店的柜姐一个口气
Wow. You sound like the lady at the jewelry store.
嘿马蒂 -嘿
Hey, Martv. Hey.
你衣服上是什么
Um, what's on your shirt?
啊这个啊
Ah, this.
是墨西哥卷饼
It's a burrito
要给你个围兜吗老弟
Do you need a bib, bro?
不不不不是我吃的卷饼是这样的
No. No, it is not my burrito. You see,
某位孕妇正在吃卷饼
a certain preqnant woman was eating it
我只是无辜地问了一句
and I just innocently asked
她这种状况吃这个会不会太辣下一秒
if it was too spicy for someone in her condition, and she.
她就朝你丢了卷饼
She threw it at you?
不不不
Oh, no. No.
她温柔地把它戳在我胸口划了下来
She qently mushed it on mv chest and slid it down.
你去告诉一个孕妇该怎么忌口
So, you told a preqnant woman what she can't eat?
得亏她没为难你
You qot off easy.
我是被人泼过一锅热秋葵汤的
I qot a pot of hot qumbo thrown at me.
你以为自己会比秋葵汤跑得快事实证明不是
You think vou'd be faster than qumbo, but nope.
好吧也许我能向你取取经
Oh, well, mavbe you can help me out.
你已经当爸了
You're a- a baby daddv.
仨娃了
Of three.
来自三个不同的女人
From three different women.
这不能怪我啊
Hey, don't be mad at me
谁叫我魅力十足呢
cause I'm lovable.
总之你是如何跟一个没有
Anyway, how do you co- parent
和你在一起的人共同抚养孩子的
with somebodv who you're not with?
我和考特尼是朋友
I mean, Courtney and I are friends, sure,
但我们没在约会考虑到她对我的态度
but we're not a couple, and the way she treats me now,
我在她心中可能是个捐精人
I might as well be a sperm donor.
听着马蒂既然你俩没有男女关系
Look, Marty because you and Courtney aren't
你就应该有话直说
in a relationship, you shouldn't be afraid to put your foot down.