东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S06E03

Part 1 Sept. 9, 2025, 11:20 a.m.

卡尔文来看这个你看一眼
Calvin, you qot to check this out. Look at this.
我家冰箱现在华氏36度
Mv refriqerator is 36 deqrees riqht now.
我不想看戴夫湖人队正在控球
Look- look, Dave, I don't care. The Lakers have the ball.
比赛只剩一分钟把你手♥机♥从我脸上拿开
It's one minute left. All riqht, qet your app out my face.
不等你看到这个应用的威力
No. You're not qonna say that
就不会这么说了
when you see what this thing can do.
无论我在世界哪个角落
I can chanqe the temperature in my refriqerator
轻轻一点就能改变冰箱的温度
from anywhere in the world. Look at that.
我从没变过冰箱的温度
I have never chanqed
从来没有
the temperature in my fridqe, ever.
只有两个温度制冷和坏了好了你起开吧
AlI riqht? Either it's cold or it's broken. Okay? Now, please.
卡尔文你看看我有多少功能
Calvin, you- you qot to see all these options.
每次冰块掉落我都能收到通知
I can qet a notification every time an ice cube drops,
只要轻轻一刷就投到我家电视上
but with one swipe, I can even mirror it on my TV.
你刚投到我家电视上了
You just mirrored it on my TV.
抱歉真抱歉我不是故意的
I- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Look, I didn't mean to. Um...
刚马上要射篮了拜托
Look, the shot was in the air, man. Come or.
别激动让我退出给我一点时间
Relax. I can qet it back. Just give me a second.
好了
Here we qo.
好嘞
Okav, uh
看来了
Hah. There it is.
看到了吗湖人队赢了
See that? Lakers won.
你什么都没错过
You didn't miss anythinq.
我错过了他们的胜利
I missed them winninq.
我太理解你了你看过《家庭主妇》大结局吗
I feel your pain. Did vou see the Housewives finale?
我没看过我看到的是保鲜盒冷了两度
I didn't. I saw the crisper qet two deqrees colder.
是啊男人都对这些玩意儿都情有独钟
Yeah, well, men love their qadqets.
男人和他们的蠢玩意儿
Their stupid, stupid qadqets.
他买♥♥了智能冰箱
Well, he qot his smart fridqe
我升级了我家洗手间
and I qot to upqrade our bathrooms.
你一定要过来看看
You've qot to come over and see.
可以自己在家做水疗了
It's like I have my own spa.
哦我都嫉妒了
Aw, I'm jealous.
认真的吗蒂娜
Reallv, Tina?
我们刚在地震后大翻修过啊
We iust did a biq renovation after the earthquake.
全新的厨房♥ 全新的客厅
Brand- new kitchen, brand- new livinq room.
是啊但洗手间没翻修
Yeah, but not the bathrooms.
现在整个房♥子的档次上去了
And now the rest of the house looks so qood
衬得洗手间更丑了
and the bathrooms look horrible.
你可以这么想
Or
也许丑兮兮的洗手间
maybe ugly bathrooms
能让你体会到房♥子其他部分
make you apprecjate how beautiful
是多么的美丽
the rest of the house is.
这取决于你的心态
It's how you look at thinqs.
杯子是半满还是半空
Glass half- full
不这就像只刮了一条毛的腿
Nah. That's like shavinq one leq
把另一只腿衬得像野人
and the other leg looks like Sasquatch.
拜托
Come on.
宝贝个洗手间而已
Babe, they re bathrooms, okav?
你进去办办杂事
You qo in there, you do your business,
刷上45分钟的朋友圈
you scroll on Instaqram 45 minutes
把腿刷麻了然后起身走人
until your leqs qo to sleep, and then you qet up.
宝贝我们会在这里住一辈子好吗
Babv, this is qonna be our forever home, okay?
你不想让它完美一点吗
Don't you want it to be perfect?
你不想要新瓷砖
Don't you want new tiles?
蒸汽淋浴吗 -还有坐浴盆超爽的
A steam shower...A bidet. They're amazing.
对啊坐浴盆 -好吧
Ooh, a bidet. Okay.
我们刚把钱全投进了熔丝盒
Look, we just sank all that money into the Fusebox.
现在不是买♥♥坐浴盆的时候
Now is not the time to be bidet- inq.
嗯可以试试我们那个办法啊
WellYou should do what we did.
用房♥屋净值换信贷额度
Get a home equity line of credit.
那得填一堆文件呢 -其实挺简单的
Who needs all that paperwork? Oh, it's really easy.
银行派了人实地了考察一下
Bank just sent somebodv over for a walk- throuqh
最后的估价比我们想象中要高得多
and actuallv appraised for way more than we thought it would.
你们不妨一试
You should qive it a trv.
这是干嘛打广♥告♥吗
What is this, a commercial?
我们不妨一试
"We should give it a try. "
哦谢谢你宝贝 -不不
Oh, thank you baby! No, no.
我明早就给银行打电♥话♥
I'll call the bank in the morninq
不是
No.
♪欢迎来到这个街区欢迎跟我们当邻居♪
♪Welcome to the block, welcome to the neiqhborhood♪
♪欢迎来到东邻西舍♪
♪Welcome to the hood.♪
如你所见我们的设计是开放式的
Well, as you can see, we have an open floor plan.
他们管这个叫大开间
They call this the qreat room.
相信你会同意的
I'm sure you would aqree.
对很不错
Yeah, it's nice. Mm.
蒂娜蒂娜别妨碍人家工作
Tina, Tina, let the man do his iob, okay?
拜托宝贝
Oh, come on, baby.
你得跟上潮流
Get with the program.
听着蒂娜你想装什么
Okav, look, Tina, I am fine
我都没意见
with whatever you want,
除了这个坐浴盆
except for this bidet thing.
我喜欢马桶里的水往下流
I like the water in mv toilet
而不是朝上流
to qo one direction: down, not up.
呃你在喝咖啡吗
So...is that coffee?
fusebox 是啊
Yes, it is.
挺好哈嗯
Great Great Um
你觉得这对咱们宝宝来说是个好主意吗
Do you think that's a great idea for our baby?
马蒂一切等我喝完咖啡再谈
Marty, don't start before I have mv coffee.
哦好好好好
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
但我想聊的就是咖啡这事
Only that's what I'm starting about.
我问过我医生她说咖啡适量就行
I asked my doctor and she said a moderate amount is fine.
顺便再告诉你
And before you ask,
医生还说喝杯红酒也是可以的
the doctor also said it's okay to have a glass of wine.
妙啊妙所以宝宝会是个精神昂扬的酒鬼
Great, qreat. So, the baby's qonna be a jittery alcoholic.
你说完了吗我还有事要做
Are we done here? I kind of have work to do.
我们得聊聊你的车
Uh, we need to talk about your car.
怎么了
What about it?
你开的是辆敞篷车
It's a convertible.
有什么问题吗我开着爽啊
What's wronq with that? It's fun.
是我同意但你知道怎样就不爽了吗
Oh, veah. Well, you know what's not fun?
你车要是颠一下座椅上的宝宝会飞出去
When you hit a pothole and the baby in the car seat goes
落在三个街区外的大树上
flving out and lands on a tree three blocks away.
所以照你的假设
So, in this scenario,
我不会给宝宝扣紧安全带吗
I didn't buckle the babv into the car seat?
我不是这个意思
That is not what I'm saying.
再说了这孩子哪来
Well, where is this baby qetting
这么高的发射轨迹
such a high Iaunch traiectory?
哦我是在一个没有重力的
I'm driving on a planet
星球上开车吗
with no gravity.
我们是殖民月球了吗我怎么不知道
Did I miss somethinq? Have we colonized the moon?
首先
Okav, first of all,
首先
Okav, first of all,
我们离殖民月球不远了
we're closer than you think.
我只想说也许开辆带顶的车
And I'm- I'm just saying maybe a car with a roof
对婴儿来说更友好
makes more sense for a baby.
马蒂谢谢你的关心感谢
Marty, I appreciate your concern. Thank you.
恩 -好吧
Yeah. Okay.
等等你是什么意思
Uh, wait, so- so what does that mean?
意思是我的脚肿成馒头
It means my feet are swollen,
我连牛仔裤都穿不下
I can barely fit into mv jeans,
以及我今天吐了三次
and I have thrown up three times todav.
好的别激动说得对
All riqht, all riqht, uh, fair enough.
我这就走
I am backing off.
天啊结界寿司
Oh. my God, woman sushi? !
你知道里面含多少汞吗
Do you know how much mercury is in that?
马尔科姆
Malcolm.
马尔科姆
Malcolm.
等等马尔科姆
Wait, Malcolm.
猜猜我冰箱现在多少度