东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S06E06

Part 3 Sept. 9, 2025, 11:20 a.m.

Okay.
你都进行到拔火罐这一项了
Is it fire cupping time?
我还记得德里克给我拔火罐的时候
You know, I remember when Derek did this to me.
是挺疼的
It was rough.
是吗
It was?
我都被你骗过了
You could have fooled me.
嘿你这个哥们儿戴夫
Hey, your man Dave, here?
他是真不怕疼
He can take some pain.
就他
This Dave?
休闲风的戴夫
Fanny pack Dave?
哦没错
Oh, yeah.
这家伙超硬汉的
This man s a beast.
除了巨石强森我就没见过
I haven't worked with a guy this tough
这么厉害的人
since The Rock.
好吧
: Okay,
你是要把戴夫比作巨石强森吗
did you just compare Dave to The Rock?
不不
Oh, no,
我是把巨石比作戴夫
I compared The Rock to Dave.
卡尔文听着别被德里克
Now, now, Calvin, look, I don't want
的溢美之词搞得自愧不如
Derek's effusive compliments to make you feel less than.
好吧不是每个人都有我的力量和毅力
Okay? Not everyone has my strength and fortitude.
嗯哼
Mm- hmm.
你拧个瓶盖都要我帮忙
I have to open jars for you.
你知道吗
You know what?
来来来给我点上
Come on. Light me back on fire.
咱们开始吧
Let's go!
所以蒂娜和其他老师
So Tina and the teachers
让你雇助教
asked you to hire teachers'aides?
是的
Yeah.
你却送她们蜡烛和
So you're giving them candles
好时之吻
and Hersheyls kisses?
我们又买♥♥不起高档货
We can't afford the good stuff.
这是开市客之吻
These are Costco Smooches.
嗯那个是
And, uh, that's
没错是毛戴夫
Yes, it's hair, Dave.
他们还画上了毛
They've added hair.
这个艺术家越来越大胆了
The artist has gotten ambitious.
希望这些举动能赢得老师的好感
I just hope the teachers appreciate this gesture.
我不知道还能做什么
I don't know what else to do.
他们就是不理解
They just don't understand
水上运动中心会为学校带来多大收益
what the aquatic center will do for the school.
其实我也不理解
I mean, I don't, either.
我朋友没一个理解的
None of my friends do.
还好
Well, luckily,
你朋友不是学校校长
your friends don't run the school.
嘿伙计
Hey, buddy, Is that
你手上的是马克笔吗
Is that Magic Marker on your hand?
呃我不知道怎么就出现在我口袋里
Uh, I don't know. They're in my pockets.
我温度计上的睾丸原来是你画的
Were you the one drawing testicles on my thermometer?
珍玛别激动咱儿子绝不会这么做
Okay, Gemma, relax Our son would never do that.
那就成操蛋了
I mean, that'd be nuts.
我去
AlI right.
老爸这双关有水平
Quality dad joke.
先别下结论哈
Before you say anything,
我没在刷约会软件在看视频
this is not a dating app. It's a video.
这个宝宝坐在雪地里
It's the one with the baby sitting in the snow going...
是的那个视频超逗
Yeah, that's a good one.
知道吗我该向你道个歉
Hey, you know what? I owe you an apology.
是我太小题大做了
Yeah, I made way too big a deal
一个无伤大雅的小软件而已
about you being on a silly little app,
你如果再装回来
and, uh, I wouldn't blame you
我也不会怪你的
for putting it back on your phone.
不用我不需要了
Nah, I don't need it.
我都忘记它存在了
I forgot it was even there.
不是但是真的
No, but really, really,
你应该把它装回去
you should put it back.
你懂的哪怕是向我宣誓我没有
You know, if only to show me I had no right
让你删掉它的权利
telling you to delete it, huh?
我以为自己是谁啊
Who the hell do I think I am?
所以你想让我重新刷探探吗
So you want me to start using it again?
我也没说你一定要刷
Well, I'm not saying you have to use it
但我不能删对吗
But Ishould have it?
你有不删的
You should have the right
权利
to have it.
好我们在一起有八个月了吧
Okay, we ve been together, what, eight months?
我好像终于有点
I think I'm finally starting
看懂你了
to understand you. Okay.
还记得我让你向学校上报
Remember when you made us register our relationship
我们的关系吗你一直坚称
at the school, but you kept insisting
咱俩只是“暧昧”
that we call it a"vibe"?
暧昧的意思是有感觉 -是
Well, vibe means we vibing. It's...Yeah.
是马尔科姆我们是有感觉
Yeah, Malcolm, we're vibing,
一起很开心很放松很享受
we're hanging, we're chilling, we're kicking it.
是我只是觉不出来咱们在谈恋爱
Yeah I just don't think we're dating.
是这样的
Well, you know,
我没不该往自己身上贴标签对不对
we shouldn't have to put labels on ourselves, right?
我们不是那种会给自己贴标签的人
We aren't label people.
还记得我把牙膏落你家
Remember the time I left my toothbrush at your place,
不小心落的结果你直接抓狂的那次吗
accidentally, and you lost your mind?
我认为我那不叫抓狂
Okay, I would not say I lost my mind.
你直接带着它开去我家了
You drove it to my house.
现在我应你要求
And now that I've deleted the stupid app,
把这破应用删了
per your request,
你却怕了
you're scared
因为这就代表我俩在认真谈恋爱了
because that means we're in a real relationship.
你想亨受男友特权
You want boyfriend privileges,
却不想做人男朋友
but you don't want to be a boyfriend.
我可没时间陪你耗
And I don't have time for that.
好吧好吧听着珍妮尔
Okay. Okay, okay, look, Janelle,
我有解决办法了好吗
I got the solution, okay?
别把探探下回手♥机♥了
Don't put Tinder back on your phone.
不马尔科姆我也有解决办法
No, Malcolm, I have the solution.
我们结束了
We're done.
什么结束
What, done?
你是说彻底玩完儿吗
You mean, like"done"done?
你愿意怎么理解都可以
You can say"done"as many times as you want.
结束了
It's over.
保重马尔科姆
Take care of yourself, Malcolm.
等等珍妮尔
Wait, Janelle
后来不知为何她就跟我分手了
And then, out of the blue, she broke up with me.
敢信吗 -不
Can you believe that? No.
我们还以为你会
We thought you were going to
跟她提分手
break up with her. Mm- hmm.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
拜托兄弟
Come on, man.
感觉这就是你的出路
This seemed like it was your way out.
经典的马尔科姆作风
It's vintage Malcolm.
你跟她们约会一段时间
You date them for a while,
发现有不对然后就抽身出来了
you find something wrong, and then you're out
什么我才没有
What? Man, I don't do that.
是嘛凯莎
Oh, really? Keisha?
她第二根脚趾比大脚趾长
Her second toe was longer than her big toe.
你就不谈了
You were out.
我更倾向于
Well, I am drawn to
传统的人字拖审美
a more traditional flip- flop aesthetic.
塔尼亚不铺床
Tanya didn't make the bed.
她是最后一个出被窝的所有人都知道这是规矩
She was the last one in it. Everyone knows that's the rule.
斯蒂芬妮你就因为人家
Stephanie, You broke up with her
有自己的保龄球就跟她分手了
because she owned her own bowling ball.
很怪好吧球场本来就提供的特雷
It's weird. They have them at the alley, Trey.
是这样我不想这么说但是