东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S03E13

Part 3 April 15, 2021, 9:25 a.m.

我们去给莫奈一些"钱钱"吧
Let's go give some "mo-ney" to Monet.
算了吧厄尼
Forget it, Ernie.
我们不去扭动宫
We ain't going to no damn Wiggle Palace.
什么
Wh-What?
不我只是想吓唬一下缇娜
No, I was just trying to bluff Tina to make a point.
现在我得想点别的
Now I got to think of something else.
相信我卡尔文就让她好好画画吧
Trust me, Calvin, just-just let her do her thing.
她慢慢就腻了
She'll get over it.
或者再也不回来了
Or she'll never come home.
我的前妻们两个都有过
I've had wives do both.
所以失踪的人是沃尔特·布朗
Okay. So, our missing person is Walter Brown.
对最后一次见他是坐在面包车里离开
Yes. Last seen driving off in a moving van
还给我们比中指
while giving us all the finger.
我们知道他搬到了
We know he moved to one of
棕榈泉87个退休社区之一
87 retirement communities in Palm Springs,
但是线索到这里就断了
but that is where the trail goes cold.
我不知道这算不算线索
I mean, I don't know if this gives us anything,
但我很肯定沃尔特是左撇子
but I'm pretty sure Walter is left-handed.
或者至少是左指
Or at least left-fingered.
等一下就是这个
Wait a second. That's it.
什么什么
Oh, what? What's it?
手指
Fingers.
"免抬尊指搬家公♥司♥"
"Don't Lift a Finger Moving Company."
写在卡车的侧面
It was written on the side of the truck.
我们应该给他们打电♥话♥
We should call them.
是的但他们不会把个人信息
Yeah, but they're not gonna give out
透露给路人的
personal information to just anyone.
所以我不会成为路人
Which is why I'm not gonna be just anyone.
我要成为沃尔特
I'm gonna be Walter.
所以你是说你要伪装黑人的声音
So, you telling us that you're gonna do Black voice?
我又想了想你们俩选一个来吧
On second thought, one of you should do it.
喂我是沃尔特·布朗
Yeah, hey. This is Walter Brown.
你们有个混♥蛋♥弄丢了我该死的脚凳
One of you jackasses lost my damn ottoman.
你把它送到哪了
Well, where the hell did you deliver it to?
拉维斯塔高级公♥寓♥
Rancho La Vista Senior Living,
31-B单元
unit 31-B.
没事了它就在我脚下再见
Oh, never mind. Here it is, right under my feet. Bye.
伙计们看来我们要去棕榈泉了
Boys, looks like we're going to Palm Springs.
是啊混♥蛋♥
Hell yeah, jackasses!
对不起我还没出戏
Sorry, I was still in character.
不是吧他觉得去脱衣舞俱乐部
Seriously? He thinks going to a strip club
和上美术课是一回事吗
is the same thing as going to an art class?
是啊就像拿苹果和桔子做比较
I know. It's like comparing apples to oranges.
或是安东尼奥的"香蕉"
Or, in the case of Antonio, bananas.
别让卡尔文的消极情绪毁了你的夜晚
Well, don't let Calvin's negativity ruin your night.
在接下来的两个小时里不要想他
For the next two hours, don't even think about him.
突然变得很难
Which suddenly became much harder to do.
卡尔文什么你在这里干什么
Calvin, what? What are you doing here?
不是很明显吗
Isn't it obvious?
我是今晚的模特
I'm the model for tonight's class.
你对安东尼奥做了什么
What did you do to Antonio?
我收买♥♥了他
I bought him off.
我给了他40块钱还帮他免费换机油
I gave him 40 bucks and a free oil change.
讽刺的是他太兴奋了落了优♥惠♥券
Ironically, he was so oiled up, he dropped the coupon.
你真是不可理喻
You are unbelievable.
怎么了缇娜
What's wrong, Tina?
就像你说的这只是艺术
It's like you said. It's only art.
咱俩都很清楚我的身材多有料
And we both know I'm packing one hell of an exhibit.
你知道吗今晚我就画我的鞋子吧
You know what? Maybe I'll just sketch my shoes tonight.
需要我就喊我会一直看着地面的
If you need me, I'll be the one looking straight down.
拜托卡尔文
Oh, please, Calvin.
咱俩都很清楚
We both know there is no way
你不可能干这种事的
you're actually gonna go through with this.
真的吗
Oh, really?
好吧够了
Okay. That's it.
去走廊我要和你谈谈
I want to talk to you in the hallway now.
好尽量快点外面很冷
Okay. Make it quick. All right, it's cold out there,
几分钟后我就要做模特了
and I got to model in a few minutes.
就是这里 31-B
Okay, this is it. 31-B.
希望他在家
I hope he's home.
现在是八点半他还能在哪里
It's 8:30. Where else would he be?
你在开玩笑吧这里有沙狐牌
Are you kidding me? They have shuffleboard,
水上有氧运动和益智室
aqua aerobics and a puzzle room here.
如果你超过70岁这里就是天堂
If you over 70, this place is lit.
沃尔特
Walter!
是我们很高兴见到你
It's us. It is nice to see you.
你们在这里干什么
What the hell are you doing here?
我搬走的时候你们没看见我比中指吗
When I moved out, didn't you see me give you the finger?
看到了沃尔特但是我们是来告诉你
Yes, Walter. But, you know, we came to tell you
我们在地下室找到了你的书
that we found your book in the basement.
是的我们都读了真是太棒了
Yeah. We all read it, and it was amazing.
真的吗
Really?
是的唯一的问题是
Yeah. The only problem is
我们看到结尾最后一页不见了
when we got to the end, the last page was missing.
所以我们需要你告诉我们凶手是谁
Yeah, which is why we need you to tell us who the killer is.
既然你们费了这么大劲来找我
Well, since you guys went through all of the trouble
不告诉你们是谁的话也过意不去
of tracking me down, the least I can do is tell you who it is.
先把钱包里的钱交出来
For all the cash you got in your wallets.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
你们没听错我的名字不是谷歌♥
Yeah, you heard me. My name ain't Google.
信息不是免费的
Information ain't free.
好吧好吧
All right, fine. Fine. Fine.
我们给你钱
We will give you the money.
好沃尔特
All right, Walter.
告诉他们凶手就是厨师
Tell them that the killer was the chef.
不不不他是说那个救生员
Oh, no, no, no. He means the pool boy.
是那个私生子对吧
It was the bastard son, right?
你们都错了
You're all wrong.
凶手
The murderer...
是管家
is the butler.
-谁 -管家
- Who? - The butler?
书上没有管家啊
Well, there's no butler in the book.
当然有在第一章
Oh, well, sure, there is. In the very first chapter,
他为侦探开的门
he opens the door for the detective.
但是整本书他就出现过这一次
But that's the only time he appears in the entire book.
-他都没说过话 -没错
- He doesn't even speak! - Exactly.
所以他才是你们最不怀疑的人
That's why he's the very last person you'd ever suspect.
不错吧
Pretty good, right?
不大错特错
No, it's not pretty good!
对读者来说太操蛋了
It's a "screw you" to the reader!
那我才开心嘛
Why can't it be both?
这太荒谬了
Oh, this is ridiculous.
是啊我们谁都能写出比这更好的结局
Yeah, any one of us could've written a better ending than that.
也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
但是有人愿意付你200美元听吗
But would anybody pay you 200 bucks to hear it?
应该没有结局
I didn't think so. The end.
我们开这么远就听到了这个结局
I can't believe we drove all this way for that.
我们还得开车回去呢
And we got to drive all the way back.
但是你们知道我们在回家的路上能做什么吗
But you know what we can do on our way home?
我们可以为这本书写下自己的结局
We can write our own ending to the book.
我本来想说玩《视觉大发现》的
I was gonna say play "I spy,"
但这个主意太棒了
but that is a way better idea.
你怎么回事
What is going on with you?
你为什么这么离谱
And why are you acting so crazy?
不不离谱的是我老婆每晚都赶着出去
No, no, what's crazy is my wife rushing out every night
看一个裸体男人
to look at a naked guy
她老公明明那么完美而且就坐在家里看电视
when she's got a perfectly good one sitting at home watching TV.
你太扯了
You are ridiculous.
你觉得我会干什么
What do you think I'm gonna do,
和一个比我小一半的模特私奔吗
run off with some model half my age?