金色年代

The Goldbergs S03E05

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2019, 10:32 a.m.

八十年代胡须就是王道
Back in the '80s, the mustache was king.
没什么比唇上一撮毛更能说明"我是男人"
Nothing said "I'm a man" Like a bristly patch of lip hair.
但最有男人味的胡须
But the manliest mustache of all
就是私♥家♥侦♥探♥马格南的扮演者汤姆·塞立克
was Magnum, P.I. Himself, Tom Selleck...
也就是说仅次于我爸的
Next to my dad's, that is.
瞧马格南
Look at Magnum go!
好有力量好优雅
Such power and grace.
就像穿着夏威夷衬衫的大胡子小羚羊
Like a mustachioed gazelle in a hawaiian shirt.
他留胡子是因为
He got the idea for the 'stache
新交的最好的朋友比尔·路易斯
from his new best friend, Bill Lewis,
胡须令他们从未有过的亲近
And it bonded them like we'd never seen before.
我以前觉得他的胡须是假的
You know, I used to think his was a lip wig,
但他游泳了
But he swims with it.
这可是真的
That's the real deal.
你的胡子也很浓密老默
You're looking pretty bushy there, too, Mur-man.
你的也很浓密很有男人味比尔
Thick and manly yourself, Billy-boy.
我爸很爱自己的新胡须我妈则很讨厌
As much as my dad loved his new mustache, my mom hated it.
他像个罪犯
He looks like a criminal
或是理发店四重唱的男高音
Or the tenor in a damn barbershop quartet.
别到处说
Don't go around saying
你丈夫是理发店四重唱的
Your husband's in a barbershop quartet.
那是音乐娱乐中的最差形式
That is the lowest form of musical entertainment.
运用下乐器好吗
Just use an instrument, damn it.
他留胡须的唯一原因
You know, the only reason he grew that mug rug
是因为比尔让他留的
Is 'cause Bill pushed him into it.
我告诉你那家伙对他有坏影响
I'm telling you, the guy's a bad influence.
原来你讨厌的不是胡须而是比尔
So, it's not the ferkokte mustache you hate, it's Bill.
别这么说我觉得比尔还行
Stop. I like Bill all right.
除了他穿衣
Well, except for the way
开车走路说话吃饭思考笑的样子
He dresses, drives, walks, talks, eats, thinks, laughs,
还有他困惑时把他愚蠢的秃头脑袋歪向一边
And tilts his stupid bald head to the side when he's confused.
可以说我妈不太喜欢我爸最好的朋友
Yep, you could say my mother wasn't the biggest fan of my dad's bestie,
而后者和他们在一起的时候越来越多
who was hanging around more and more.
霹雳娇娃
Ooh, Charlie's Angels.
她们在追谁波丝丽在哪里
Who are they chasing? Where's Bosley?
她为什么在船上
Why is she on a boat?
她在亲谁
Who's she kissing?
那些是海盗吗
Are those pirates?
这只是片头比尔
These are the opening credits, Bill.
以前总是我妈说了算
And while my mom usually called the shots,
最近好像比尔说了算
Lately, it seemed that Bill was in charge.
胡子梳子
A mustache comb!
一直以来我就像笨蛋一样用刷子
And all this time, I've been using a brush with a handle like a jackass.
试下老默让梳子在胡须镇转转
Give it a whirl, Mur. Take it down to whisker town.
你是在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me with this?
我们应该谈论刮胡子而不是梳理
We should be talking about shaving, not grooming.
拜托女士
Come on, lady,
大家都知道男人的脸面是他的城♥堡♥
everyone knows a man's face is his castle.
是城♥堡♥吗
His castle, you say?
对胡须是嘴巴的护城河
Oh, yeah. And the mustache is the moat of the mouth.
没有胡须堡垒就完了
Without it, the fortress falls.
谁知道啊我不知道
Who knew? I didn't.
事实上胡子是以胡子伯爵命名的
In fact, the mustache is named after the earl of mustache.
他做了什么
What did he do?
他是法国胡子镇人
Well, he was from mustache, france,
然后有一天他说
And one day he was like,
我要在这里留毛发
"I'm gonna grow some hair right here."
你争不过历史贝弗
You can not argue with history, Bevy.
亲爱的求你了能为我刮了吗
Honey, please, can you just shave it off for me?
幸运的是我妈总是能用她
Luckily, my mom could always win
诡异的12次眨眼扮小狗卖♥♥萌获胜
Using her creepy 12-blink puppy dog stare...
这是新的我
This is the new me.
直到现在
...Until now.
所有地方都梳到了
Oh, yeah. Getting in all the nooks and crannies.
太棒了
Fantastic.
-感受下老默 -正在感受
- Get it, Mur. - I'm getting it.
-继续感受 -正感受着呢
- You go on and get it. - Oh, I'm getting it but good.
-感受吧狗兄 -正感受
- Get it, doggy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
留胡须还得学狗叫吗
Is barking a mustache thing?
是啊继续狗兄
Oh, yeah. Go on, doggy.
我正感受
I'm going!
那是一九八几年的10月21日
It was October 21, 1980-something,
我哥正在做他最拿手的
And my brother was doing what he did best --
超级自大
Being way too cocky.
你确定这是个好主意吗
Uh, you sure this is a good idea, man?
斜坡好像正对着货车伙计
Seems like the ramp points directly at the side of the van, bro.
说实话我担心我跳得太高太远
Honestly, my concern is I jump too high and too far.
也许应该为了安全放个床垫
Maybe we should put a mattress back there for safety.
JTP
Jtp!
JTP
Jtp.
酷
Oh, cool.
巴瑞又在玩那个花招
Barry's doing that sweet trick
他会再次摔坏脑袋
Where he damages his head again.
你好兰妮
Well, hello, Lainey.
这是为了你美女
This is all for you, girl.
是时候让我置身于极度危险中了
Time to put myself in serious danger.
很性感吧
Hot, right?
巴瑞我跟你说过无数遍了
Barry, I told you a million times,
跳东西不能取悦我
Jumping stuff does not impress me.
我哥有着可笑的过度自信
For all of my brother's ridiculous over-confidence,
但有一个人能令他崩溃成
There was one person who could make him crumble
没有安全感的脓包这个人就是他女友兰妮
Into an insecure mess -- his girlfriend, Lainey Lewis.
对不起我再也不会跳东西了
I'm sorry! I'll never jump stuff again.
瞧不再骑单车了
See? No more bike.
现在我成为差劲的女友
Okay, so now I'm the lame-ass ball-and-chain
不允许你有热情吗
Who says no to your passions?
这么说你想让我跳东西吗
So, you do want me to jump stuff?
我不在乎你想干嘛干嘛
I don't care, okay? Just do what you want.
我想你不要生我的气
I want you to not be mad at me.
我没生你的气
I'm not mad at you.
你的表情和说话明显生气了
Well, your face and your words are clearly mad.
我的天
Oh, my god.
用我能明白的话告诉我
Tell me in words I understand.
我要怎么做怎么想怎么感受
What do I do or feel or think?
我想你需要控制下自己
I think you need to get a grip.
你最好是
Better yet,
找个没有比你优秀太多的女生
get a girl that's not miles out of your league.
爱丽卡看我能做什么
Hey, Erica! Look what I can do!
她在看吗
Is she looking?
爱丽卡我做到了
Erica, I did it!
我的天巴瑞是怎么回事
My god. What is Barry's deal?
好像他一天比一天更黏人更不自信
It's like he gets more needy and insecure every day.
我和他住一起他一直这样
I live with him. It's constant.
老天真希望有人让他清醒
God, I wish there was some way to snap him out of it.
如果目标是让巴瑞知道他有多白♥痴♥
Well, if the goal is to show Barry what an idiot he's being,
我的经验可丰富了
I do have years of wonderful experience.
你会帮忙给他个教训吗
So you'd help teach him a lesson?
让我去吧
Unleash me.
我不知道你现在太兴奋了
I don't know, you look too excited right now.
为能帮助朋友而兴奋
Excited to help my friend.
我没办法了就这样
Okay, I'm desperate. Let's do it.
不过向我保证你不能太刻薄
Promise you won't be too mean, though.
我保证
Promise.
兰妮爱上了别的男人
Lainey's in love with another man?!
你完全配不上你的女友
You're dating a girl way out of your league.
这是注定发生的事
It was bound to happen.
是谁告诉我
Who is it?! Tell me.
我用手脚毁了他
I'll destroy him with my hands and feet.
是他
It's him.
乔治男孩
Boy George?