金色年代

The Goldbergs S03E04

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2019, 10:32 a.m.

起初我们以为异物是
Initially, we thought the object was...
自然有机排泄物
Organic in nature,
所以我们遵守学校规定放干了池水
so we followed school protocol and drained the facilities.
根据近距离观察我们断定
Upon closer inspection, we determined
可疑漂浮物其实是巧克力条
that the floater in question was, in fact, a candy bar.
笑吧笨蛋们
Laugh it up, chuckleheads,
用巧克力条污染泳池是严重过错
but caddy shacking a pool is a serious offense.
我说过不准通知媒体
I said no press!
见鬼
Damn it.
现在《镜报》会大肆报道了
Now this is gonna be all over the Mirror.
我的计划起了作用
My plan had worked.
问题是我能逃避制裁多久
The question was, how long could I get away with it?
不想要核冬天
Don't want a nuclear winter
所以我们需要冻结核武器
that's why we need a nuclear freeze
我知道这令人困惑
I know that's confusing --
老天什么和"冻结"押韵
God. What the hell rhymes with "freeze"?
有人说了"巴瑞"吗
Did someone say "Barry"?
出去
Get out!
因为你我要写一首关于全球
Because of you, I have to write a ridiculous song
所有问题的可笑的歌♥
about every issue in the world.
冷静姑娘
Chill, girl.
大甜甜有解决你所有问题的办法
Big tasty's got the answer to all your problems.
文化衫
Merch.
走开
Go away!
听我说
Just hear me out.
社会意识社团
歌♥很可爱但如果你要真正赚钱
Songs are cute, but if you want to start making real cheddar,
文化衫才是正道
merch is where it's at.
你为什么还在这里
Why are you still here?
你知道滚石乐队93%的收入
Did you know the rolling stones make 93% of their money
来自于T恤吗
on t-shirts?
剩余的22%
And the other 22%?
贴纸
Stickers!
文化衫亲爱的文化衫
Merch, baby! Merch!
我不会照你说的做
I'm not doing a thing you say.
等等
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.
看过背面再评价
Reserve your judgment until you see the back.
买♥♥得起的乔丹鞋
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?!
你卖♥♥文化衫只是想买♥♥运动鞋
Your merch is all about getting you sneakers.
正是
Exactly!
起初我以为你只是愚蠢的装腔作势的人
You see, at first, I thought you were just some dumb poser,
但我意识到你那些装腔作势的废话
but then I realized your dumb poser crap
可以帮我买♥♥到乔丹鞋
can help get me my air jordans.
够了我不管校长说什么
That's it! I don't care what the principal says.
我的社团开除你了
You're out of my club.
-你不能这样做 -我刚做了
- You can't do that! - I just did.
《镜报》要好好和你玩一天了装腔作势
The Mirror's gonna have a field day with you, poser.
随便你叫我"装腔作势" 我不在乎了
Call me "poser" all you want. I don't care anymore.
事实上你比装腔作势更差劲
In fact, you are worse than a poser.
你只是一个玩笑
All you are is a joke.
等我创办
Oh, we'll see who the joke is
为巴善筹款的反♥社♥会♥意识社团后
once I start my own Rival social awareness club
我们看看谁才是笑话
to raise money for barity.
巴善根本没这个词
Barity? That's not a thing.
巴瑞慈善巴善
It's a Barry charity -- a barity.
它会击垮你的慈善活动
And it will crush your charity.
什么
Wha--
住手
Stop!
巴瑞
Barry!
住手
Stop it!
听好了
All right, listen up.
我以为下课后让你们多留几小时
I figured keeping you here hours after class
可以"冲出"恶作剧的人
would flush out our prankster.
这是清洁工阿尔文告诉我的俏皮话
Alvin, our janitor, gave me that pun.
如果犯人下次课前不自首
If the culprit doesn't come forward by next class,
你们都会接受惩罚
you will all be punished!
听清楚了我会找到你的
But know this -- I will find you.
我已经没什么时间了
My time was running out,
所以我唯一的办法就是制♥造♥混乱
so my only option was to create confusion.
无论谁做的别再做傻瓜赶紧承认吧
Whoever did this, stop being a putz and just admit it.
说实话伙计我们都觉得是你做的
Honestly, dude, we were all kind of thinking it was you.
不可能是我那太明显了
Guys, it can't be me. That would be too obvious.
永远是那个最不会被怀疑的人
It's always the last person that you suspect.
别冲我点头
Don't nod at me.
所有人都知道金戴夫对坚果过敏
Everyone knows Dave Kim's allergic to nuts.
你怎么知道那根巧克力条里有坚果
And how do you just happen to know that candy bar had nuts?
它们全都有坚果
They all have nuts!
银河巧克力条没有里面是牛轧糖
Not milky way. That's nougat.
牛轧糖就是坚果
Nougat is nuts!
你瞎说
You're making that up.
牛轧糖的主要原料是
The primary ingredients in nougat are
糖坚果蛋白
sugar, nuts, and egg whites.
犹如犯罪高手一样我制♥造♥了混乱
Like a criminal mastermind, I had created confusion,
太好了
and it was glorious.
爱丽卡马上要制♥造♥一场不同的混乱
But Erica was about to create confusion of a different kind.
兰妮
Hey, Lainey.
什么爱丽卡
Yeah, Erica?
地球什么时候会死
When did the earth die?
今天
Today.
除非你们打开眼睛与钱包
Unless you open your eyes and your wallets.
一二三
Uno, dos, tres...
四
Cuatro.
听好了美国人我们要有社会意识
listen up, America, let's get socially aware
别再只想着你自己
stop thinkin' about yourself
你的衣服你的分数你的头发
your clothes, your grades, your hair
制止核武与污染
stop the nukes and pollution
酸雨不是我们的朋友
acid rain is not our friend
拯救鲸鱼与臭氧层
save the whales, the ozone
我们想拥有一家班尼根餐厅
and we'd love to get a Bennigan's
我们解决了全世界
we'll fix the world
所有的问题
yes, every problem
问题清单太长
there's way too many on this list
但我们会解决
but we will solve them
我们要一周只上两天学
we want a two-day school week
蓝道·卡利森出任总统[演员]
and Lando Calrissian for president
放松学校关于裸体的制度
and relax the school's policy on nudity
我想和爱丽卡约会
and I want a date with Erica
杰夫别随意改词
Geoff, stop changing the words.
不要酸雨要回收
no, acid rain, yes, recycling
不再有死刑
but no more death penalty
除非那人真是罪有应得
unless the guy really deserves it
那就宰了他我同意
then zap him, I'd agree
或是她
or her
因为我们也要求男女平等
'cause we're for equal rights, as well-el-el-ellllll
我们会解决全世界
we'll fix the world
所有的问题
yes, every problem
无论这问题有多傻
no matter how dumb they are
没错我们会解决
yes, we will solve them
各位他们走了
Guys. Guys, they're leaving.
慢着别走我们还有十段呢
Wai-- what? Wait, stop! We have 10 more verses!
甜甜圈
Doughnuts!
巴善欢迎捐款
慈善甜甜圈便宜卖♥♥
Charitable doughnuts for sale!
搞什么
What the --
不要害羞所有善款都捐给巴善了
Don't be shy. All doughnuts go to Barity.
你在搞什么
What the hell is this?
胜利我朋友特伦斯在哇哇店上班
Victory. My friend Terrance, he works at the Wawa.
他把准备扔掉的隔夜甜甜圈全给我了
He gave me all the day-old doughnuts they were gonna trash.
你们在吃垃圾点心
You people are eating garbage pastries.
你不如写进你的歌♥里鲍勃·迪伦[歌♥手]
Why don't you write a song about it, Bob Dylan?
请来一份甜甜圈