前夫总动员（2011）

The Exes S02E08

Part 3 March 18, 2021, 1:20 p.m.

Exhibit "A"-- in three, two, one.
一个男人对你敞开心扉并...
There is nothing wrong when a man opens his heart...
坦诚自己的真实感受并没有错
Declares his true feelings.
我已陈述完毕了
I rest my case.
我只是不敢相信他竟然会在第一次之后
I just cannot believe that he said "I love you"
说我爱你
after the first night of sex.
谁会这么干?
Who does that?
你是谁啊?
Who are you?
艾米莉亚管家
Amelia, the housekeeper.
哦太好了这里需要你
Oh, good. This place needs it.
真是乱死了
It's a mess.
早上好艾米莉亚
Good morning, Amelia.
早上好
Good morning.
那个...
Now...
听着我很感激你克服重重困难
Look, I appreciate that you overcame great odds
来到这个国家
in coming to this country.
我是坐飞机来的
I flew coach on United.
哦
Oh.
好吧说实话
Well, anyway, to be honest,
我对昨天的工作略带失望
I was a little disappointed in yesterday's work.
所以呢
And to that end,
我准备了一份打扫清单
I've prepared a detailed cleaning list.
优先级从必须扫干净到...也得必须扫干净
It's prioritized by "must clean" to..."Also must clean."
我会尽力的
I'll do my best.
要记住你控制一切
Remember, you're in charge.
别怕去驾驭她
Don't be afraid to ride her.
哈艾米莉亚
Ah, Amelia.
昨天是
Yesterday was,
我有生以来最棒的周二
well, it was the greatest Tuesday ever.
但是但是听着
But--but look.
我不希望你因此丢了工作
I don't want you to lose your job.
也许
And so maybe--
我们应该拒绝诱惑
maybe we should resist temptation.
也许那是最好的选择
Perhaps that would be best.
尤其当斯图尔特让我负责盯梢
Especially since Stuart put me in charge
确保你认真打扫
of making sure the work gets done.
所以你就成了我的上司了
Oh, so then that would make you my boss.
我想是的
Yeah, I suppose so.
所以你驾驭我的权利
So then you have the power over me.
我就猜到你会这么说
I guess you could say that.
就像我是一位年少无知的女仆
Sort of like I was an innocent young chambermaid.
而我是托比
And I was Toby,
那位引你走向真爱大道的
the foppish son of the Duke.
公爵家的纨绔之子
Who you introduced to the ways of love.
带我走托比带我走
Take me, Toby, take me.
来吧! 我来了!
Come! I will!
保罗来了五次电♥话♥了
Paul's called five times.
哦上帝
Oh, God.
你总不能一直躲着他
You can't keep hiding from him.
哦听我说
Oh, watch me.
没有人会在一♥夜♥情♥后来句"我爱你"
Nobody says "I love you" after one night.
这是不正常进度
It's not the normal progression of things.
正常进度从说我喜欢你开始我爱你
It goes "I like you,I love you,
嫁给我你剔牙声音非要这么大吗?
marry me,do you have to floss so loud?"
这就是我不和女人约会的原因
Okay, this is why I don't date women.
你们都是白♥痴♥
You're all nuts.
- 霍莉你有空吗? - 哦其实...
- Holly, you got a minute? - Oh, actually
- 我会拦掉你的所有电♥话♥ - 哦
- I'll hold your calls. - Oh.
你整个早上都在躲着我
You've been avoiding me all morning,
我想我知道原因
and I think I know why.
那句 "我爱你"的确有点唐突
That whole "I love you" thing was pretty bizarre.
在失恋之后我一直都很情绪化
After my heart scare, I've been really emotional,
我想我可能越界了
and I-I guess I just got swept away.
不管怎样我肯定吓到了你
Anyway, I'm sure it freaked you out.
没有
No.
好吧有点儿吓到
Okay, a little.
好吧的确吓到了
Okay, a lot.
好吧都快吓死我了
Okay, it scared the hell out of me.
这样让我来平复一下你的心情
Well, let me put your mind at ease.
我不爱你
I don't love you.
你不...
Y-you don't?
当然不
Of course not.
所以把之前的一切都抛之脑后
So let's just put this all behind us
假装什么也没发生过吧
and pretend it never happened.
我爱你
I love you.
- 哈... - 我肯定是进水了
- Ha... - What was I thinking?
发生什么事了? 你说有紧急情况
What's going on, man? You said it was urgent.
是的
It is.
我怀疑
I was suspicious
艾米莉亚一整天都做了什么
of what Amelia was doing all day
所以我装了一台保姆监视器
So I set up a nanny cam.
笑话不错斯图尔特
Very funny, Stuart.
- 天你说真的 - 没错
- Oh, my God, you're serious. - Yeah.
警告
Warning
你将要看到的
What you're about to see
会包涵正常和令人不安的画面
contains graphic and disturbing images.
相当不安
Very disturbing.
我没看到啥猫腻呀
Okay, I don't see what the big deal is.
- 这是艾米莉亚 - 没错.
- There's Amelia. - Mm-hmm.
- 哈斯克在这里 - 是的.
- And there's Haskell. - Yeah.
艾米莉亚和哈斯克在沙发上
And there's Amelia and Haskell on the couch.
艾米莉亚和哈斯克在... 哦眼瞎了!
There's Amelia and Haskell-- oh, my eyes!
网站上描述的没错
Her website was right.
她的确可以处理到那些难以触及的地方
She does get to all the hard-to-reach places.
你能相信吗?
Can you believe this?
当然不相信!
No!
以哈斯克这样的身躯他肯定是跪着的
For a big guy, Haskell is sure light on his knees.
我们的兄弟正在家里翻云覆雨!
My man's rockin' the house!
这就是你要说的?
That's all you have to say?
哦拜托
Oh, come on.
你能同时
Could you do all of that
一手遥控器一手三明治么?
with a remote in one hand and a sandwich in the other?
你没看出一些道德层次上的含义么?
Do you not see the moral implications of this?
基本上是我们花钱在让哈斯克享受性服务
We're basically paying for Haskell to have sex.
那我们成什么了?
You know what that makes us?
伟岸的室友?
Really awesome roommates?
不是耍阴招的贱♥人♥
No, trick-ass bitches.
哈斯克我们回来了
Haskell, we're home.
我们现在要进门了
We're coming in now.
晚上好兄弟们
Good evening, gents.
哈斯克我们需要谈一谈
Haskell, we need to talk.
你和艾米莉亚的事我们已经知道了
We know about you and Amelia.
你们怎么知道的? 谁告诉你的?
How? Who told you?
你们在说什么?
And what are you talking about?
我装了一台保姆监视器想看看她是否在做保洁
Look, I set up a nanny cam to see if she was cleaning,
- 它录下了全部 - 全部?
- and it recorded everything. - Everything?
全部朋友
Everyting, man.
你有什么需要为自己辩护的吗?
Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Haskell?
- 哈斯克? - 嘘, 让我看看真♥相♥
- Haskell? - Shh, let's see what happens.
别别别
No, no, no.
我来告诉你真♥相♥吧
No, I'll tell you what happens.
你的诡计到此为止了
This little scam of yours is over.
我不会再帮你付钱了
I'm not paying for this anymore.
那是什么意思?
So what's that mean?
我得和菲尔制?
I have to split it with Phil?
错我很大方但是还没大方到那个份儿上
No, I'm cool, but I'm not that cool.
你不明白
You don't understand.
那是我这辈子最奇妙的两天
These were the most magical two days of my life.
一切幻想都变成了现实
Every fantasy come true.
那从现在起你得为现实买♥♥单了
Well, you gotta pay for it yourself now.
你说的没错都结束了现实太残酷了