前夫总动员（2011）

The Exes S02E07

Part 2 March 18, 2021, 1:20 p.m.

一个购物中心怎么样
to a strip mall in Shanghai?
不我打电♥话♥给你不是为了工作
No, I didn't call you about a job.
是我知道
Yeah. I know.
三把牙科椅哇唔
Three chairs. Woo hoo.
行了听着你个可恶的笨蛋
Okay, look, you insufferable twit.
我不想要工作我想要你的精♥液♥
I don't want a job, I want your sperm.
哇哦真没预料到这个
Whoa, didn't see that coming.
我已经结婚了
You know, I'm a married man.
我不跟男人瞎搞了
I don't fool around with guys.
在这个国家
In this country.
Phil chase?
Warren bannister
哇 Warren 真是你么老兄
Wow, Warren, is that you in there, dude?!
哇伙计
Wow, man!
你看起来就像是把老版的自己给吃了似的
You look like the guy who ate the guy who ate Warren.
谢谢
Thanks.
- 真好
- Pretty great
是的
Yeah.
谁也不能再欺负我了
Nobody's pushing me around anymore.
给老子拿杯啤酒
I need a beer over here!
Warren 你呃你看起来有点暴躁
Warren, you, uh, you seem a little irritable.
你怎么变大的
How'd you bulk up?
类固醇荷尔蒙
Steroids, hormones?
伽马射线
Gamma rays?
我服了一两种营养剂
I'm takin' a supplement or two.
哦真的这些营养剂有什么副作用么
Oh, well, these supplements, do they have any side effects
比如失眠情绪波动或者...
like the inability to sleep or mood swings or...
你JJ射不了(不孕)
Is you ding-ding shootin' blanks?
嘿有这种"枪"谁还需要孩子
Hey, who needs kids when you're raising guns like these?
哦都这个点了
Oh, look at the time.
我得回极客团队了(北美提供电脑相关服务的团队)
Gotta get back to the geek squad.
哦哇你还在做电脑这行
Oh, wow, you're still working with computers.
为什么我不会呢
Why wouldn't I be?
我不知道...
I don't know...
见到你真棒 Phil
It was great seeing you, Phil.
可以把Warren从名单上删掉了
Well, we can scratch Warren off the list.
你那个牙医怎么样
How'd it go with your dentist friend?
我们从他什么也拿不到了
Well, we won't get any sperm from him...
在这个国家
In this country.
- 苍天啊 - 怎么了
- Oh, my lord. - What's the matter?
我的跳舞三明治来不了了
My dancing sandwich isn't gonna make it.
他被一辆wienermobile热狗车撞了
He got run over by a wienermobile.
他们说这是一起仇恨犯罪
They're calling it a hate crime.
为什么这些女人都用讨厌的眼神瞪我
Why do these women keep giving me the stink eye?
你觉得呢
Why do you think?
你是一个在精♥子♥银行的孕妇
You're a pregnant woman in a sperm bank.
看起来很贪心
It does look a bit greedy.
真遗憾那几个家伙没帮你找到人
Too bad the guys couldn't find you anyone.
但是j26809号♥看上去不错
But j26809 seems promising.
是的褐色头发绿眼睛
Yeah, brown hair, green eyes,
6尺4寸博士学位
six-foot-four, has a doctorate.
我说这些完美情人在现实中藏哪了
I mean, where are these dreamboats in the real world?
显然跟杯子一起锁在房♥间了
Apparently, locked in a room with a cup.
这太荒谬了
This is ridiculous.
我绝对不能没看到照片就选人
I can't pick a donor without seeing pictures.
嗨能跟你聊下么
Hi, could I talk to you for a second?
真是个好听的名字
Well that's a pretty name.
我很讨厌
Hate it.
有什么事吗
So what can I do for you?
呃我知道捐赠者都是匿名的
Well, I understand the donors are anonymous,
但是大家都是女人我真不想碰到个"丑"家伙
but, woman to woman, I don't wanna get stuck with an "Ug."
你会是个好妈妈
You're gonna make a great mom.
真贴心
That is so sweet.
那么有没有机会
So, any chance I could take
让我偷瞄一眼那个谁 j26809号♥
a little peeky-poo at, say, j26809?
抱歉我们没有瞄一眼的政策
Sorry, we have a no peeky-poo policy.
拜托我怎么能跟一个我连他长什么样子都不知道的
Well, come on, how can I have a baby with somebody
家伙生活孩子呢
if I don't know what they look like?
很多女人也这么觉得
A lot of women feel that way.
她们怎么办
Well what do they do?
找男朋友
They get boyfriends.
谢谢
Thank you.
你真是太好太乐于助人了
You've been very kind, very helpful.
怎么样
So how'd it go?
婊♥子♥说不行
Bitch said no.
哦我的天(海盗俚语)
Ooh, shiver me timbers.
我绝对不会把他的水手帽从床上踢下去
Oh, I wouldn't kick his Dixie cup out of bed.
好类我直接向源头出击
All right, I'm gonna go straight to the source.
你去那边傻笑打掩护
You go distract giggles over there.
呃那个 Mil--Mildred
Uh, so, Mil--Mildred?
你又是什么情况
What's your story?
我六个月前在这边买♥♥了些小蝌蚪
I got some sperm here about six months ago.
你们有什么退货政策
What is your return policy?
你瞧 Kent 呃我是一个有爱心的人
Look, Kent, um, I'm a caring person
还是个非常成功的律师
and a very successful attorney.
我想我要说的是
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
不论你想往那杯子里放什么
I can give whatever you're about to put in that cup
我都会给他一个很棒的家
a real good home.
我不知道我我觉得不是这么运作的
I don't know, I, uh, I don't think it works this way.
拜托装满它吧
Oh, come on, fill 'er up, hmm?
如果你做的时候你想想我
And if you think of me while you do it,
对孩子来说会是个美好的故事
it'd be a nice story for the baby.
我想你该离开了
I'm gonna need you to leave.
不我们还在聊着呢
Oh, no, we're just chatting.
我在玩脸书加我好友
I'm on Facebook. Friend me!
怎么样了
How'd it go?
好吧精♥子♥银行完全失败
Well, the man bank was a total bust.
你都找上精♥子♥银行了
You struck out at a sperm bank?
我早该想到你肯定会这么做的
I would have thought that was a sure thing.
不管怎么样至少我认识到
Anyway, I realized that that's not how
我想这么要孩子
I want to have a baby anyway.
全部都是匿名的而且是无菌的
It's all so anonymous and sterile.
好吧听着别灰心好么
Well, listen, don't get discouraged, okay?
-你才刚开始 -是啊接下来怎么样
- You just started this process. - Yeah. What's next?
我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
也许命中注定我不会有孩子
Maybe having a baby isn't in the cards for me.
知道吗我想一个人呆着
You know what, I kinda feel like being alone.
我真不想看到Holly这个样子
I really hate seeing Holly like this.
是啊我也是
Yeah, me too.
真希望我们能做点什么
Wish there was something we could do.
好吧我们可以的
Well, there is.
面对现实吧她捐赠人的问题
Let's face it, the answer to her donor problem
在这个房♥间里就可以解决
is right here in this apartment.
该我挺身而出了兄弟们
Time for me to step up, boys.
你为为什么是你
You? Why--why you?
很显然这个房♥间里还有个
It's pretty obvious there's a stronger candidate
更有实力的候选人
in the room.
谢谢你 Phil
Thank you, Phil.
不是你 Haskell
Not you, Haskell.
我明显是在说我自己啊
I was clearly talking about myself.
-你什么时候不是围绕你自己 -
- When aren't you? - Oh!
你在对我评头论足
You're being judgmental.
以前我没在你身上看到那种"色彩"
That's a color I haven't seen on you before.
好吧将来你会看到更多"色彩"的
Oh, well, you'll see a lot of colors
- 你就死鸭子嘴硬吧 -真的么
- you keep talking like that. - Oh, really?
怎么你要把我打成青一块紫一块吗
What, you gonna make me black and blue?
够了
Enough!
这会让我们起内讧的
This is tearing us apart.
他说得对
He's right.
再说了 Holly说的很清楚
Besides, Holly made it pretty clear
她不想要我们的
she doesn't want that from us.