太空部队（2020）

Well, we've sent you over some VR goggles
这样你们就能 虚拟游览太空探索技术公♥司♥
so that you can virtually tour SpaceX.
当然 你们得签署一份虚拟保密协议
Of course, you will have to sign a virtual NDA though.
法律手续
Just a legal formality.
好的 没问题
Oh, yes. Yeah, of course.
现在吗？ -是的 请开始吧
Now? -Yes, go ahead, please.
这个肯定是戴在头上
And this, I just fit it over my head, obviously?
嗯 对着眼睛
Yeah, so that goes in front of your eyes.
抱歉 凯瑟琳 我以前没戴过这个 所以这…
Sorry, Catherine. I haven't done this before, so it's--
噢！ -好了
Oh boy.-That's it.
别忘了签署虚拟保密协议
Don't forget to sign the virtual NDA.
这样在空中签吗？
In the air, like this?
弄得我头好晕 -天哪！太棒了！
It makes me so dizzy. -Oh my God. This is awesome.
天哪！ -这地方好大
Oh boy. -This place is huge.
我觉得恶心了
Oh, I feel nauseous.
抱歉 我需要一点时间适应 -天哪！
Sorry, just take a second to adjust. Oh my God.
这不是我那一代人的东西
Not my generation.
那东西跟着我…
But this… That follows me around where…
这就像科学家的迪士尼乐园
This is like a scientist Disneyland. Look at this place.
嗯 我要吐…
Yeah, and my stomach is in my th--
这里就像有真人似的 太棒了
There's, like, real people here. Oh, this is amazing.
天哪！吐的东西上哪儿去了？
Jesus. Where did it even go?
天哪！这真的是虚拟现实吗？
Oh God. Is this virtual virtual reality?
这好像水滑梯 不是吧！
There's, like, a waterslide. No way!
我在火箭涡轮的冷却系统里
Oh, I'm in the cooling system of a rocket turbine.
我不舒服
I'm not well.
这好像过山车！ -我得去透透气
This is like a roller coaster! -I have to get some air.
她只判了20年？
And she only got 20 years for that?
这律师很厉害 -对
That's a good lawyer. Yeah.
你在喝什么？
Uh, what… what are you drinking?
葡萄味汽水
Oh, it's, uh, grape soda.
我好想喝汽水啊
Oh, I would kill for some soda.
有味道的东西就行
Anything with some taste.
我喝自己的尿真的喝烦了
I am really tired of drinking my own urine.
并没有尿味
I mean, it doesn't taste like urine.
只有像用于储存尿的塑料袋的味道
It tastes like a, um… plastic bag that was used to store urine.
好惨
That's awful.
哎 现在你们那里的自动售卖♥♥机
Hey, do they still have those Cheese Nip snacks
还卖♥♥乳酪饼干吗？
in the vending machines there?
我有时候会梦到
'Cause, um, I dream about those sometimes.
我可以去看一下 反正我本来也想去买♥♥点零食
I can go check. I was gonna get a snack anyway.
是嘛？那太好了！
Oh, would you? That would be great! That would be so great.
看到像样的食物会让我精神振奋
Just seeing real food would really lift my spirits.
没问题 -嗯 噢！艾琳 等一下
You got it. -Yeah. Oh, Erin, Erin, Erin. Wait.
你要出去的话
Um, so if you're gonna go out,
能不能顺便去一下餐厅？
could you maybe stop by the, uh, cafeteria too? Um…
希尔达做的鸡肉沙拉三明治特别好吃
Hilda makes a great chicken salad sandwich.
好的
Okay.
要不再要一片披萨
Oh, and maybe a slice of pizza too.
这样吧 我写下来
You know what? I'm gonna write it down.
五角大楼
各位 这位是新任空军司令
Hey, guys, meet the new Air Force.
这是他第一次参加 参谋长联席会议开会
This is his first Joint Chiefs meeting.
欢迎
Welcome aboard.
别紧张
Don't be nervous.
我不紧张
I'm not.
你应该紧张 我以后少不了找你麻烦
You should be 'cause you're on my shit list now.
内尔德迟到了 -大概是因为离婚在掉眼泪
Naird's late. -Probably weeping over his divorce.
所以我不结婚
That's why I'm never getting married.
不是这个原因 -你晚上能睡着就行
No, it's not. -Whatever helps you sleep at night.
大家好 -你好 内尔德
Hello, everyone.
太空部队怎么样？
Hey, Naird. What's happening at Space Force?
好吧 没怎么样 因为上头把你们的预算减半了
Oh, right, nothing, because they halved your budget.
问题不在预算的大小 而在于分配的手法
Well, it's not the size of the budget. It's the motion of the allocations.
都说宁愿要大一点的预算
That's what they all say. I'd rather have a big budget.
并不妨碍我们上《时代》杂♥志♥封面
Well, didn't keep us from getting the cover of Time magazine.
妒忌吗 施拉姆？ -想得美
Jealous, Schramm? You wish.
你没事吧 内尔德？ 你好像脸色比以前更苍白了
You okay, Naird? You look a little paler than usual.
对 我锻炼的时候扭了腰
Yeah, yeah, I just tweaked my back exercising.
没错 我做♥爱♥时也扭了腰
Yeah, I fucked my back out during sex too.
你通常如何性♥交♥ 内尔德？
What's your, uh, coitus protocol, Naird?
说一下骨盆活动
Let's talk pelvic action.
环形还是X-Y轴方向？透露一下
Circular, or more on the X-Y axis? Dish.
与性♥交♥无关
It… It wasn't intercourse-related.
我做♥爱♥是从来不动
I never move a muscle during sex.
性♥交♥运动应当是女性的工作
The sexual motion is supposed to be woman's work.
这么说你在床上像死尸一样？ -《圣经》里说的
So you're like a corpse in bed? -It's in the Bible.
没在《圣经》里看到过 -多看看
Didn't see that in the Bible. Keep lookin'.
有没有吃布洛芬试试？ -没用
Did you try taking ibuprofen? -Didn't work.
Bengay止痛药
Two words. Bengay.
别让别人把你的腰搞断了
Look, don't let someone crack your back.
有人因此送了命 我在《60分钟》上看到过
A guy died doing that. I saw it on 60 Minutes.
也可能断的是脖子？
Or was it his neck?
Bengay止痛药
Bengay.
断的是脖子
It was his neck.
听说把人倒吊起来有用
I hear hanging upside down by your feet works,
但不能超过20分钟
but not longer than 20 minutes.
佛罗里达有个人… -死了？
A guy in Florida… -Died?
不是 他昏了过去 大便失禁
No, he passed out and soiled himself.
然后死了 -好的
Then died. -Ah, okay.
Bengay止痛药
Bengay.
你是不是有Bengay公♥司♥的股票？
Do you have stock in Bengay?
现在是买♥♥入的好时机
It's a good time to buy in.
好的
Okay.
我们打开可乐
Let's…open the cola.
好的 艾琳 慢点
Okay. And, oh, Erin, Erin, Erin,
靠近话筒一点
slowly and closer to the microphone
让我听到
so that I can hear it.
好的
Okay.
我好想念这个声音啊
I missed that sound.
噢 好的
Oh. Okay.
喝一小口
Take a sip.
一小口
Little sip.
噢 好的
Oh. Okay.
我们升级一下 吃一口披萨
Let's kick it up a notch and, uh… uh, take a bite of the pizza.
好的 你吃到的是什么感觉？
Okay, what notes are you catching?
感觉？ -什么口味？
Notes? -Flavors.
有点纸板的味道
Little bit of cardboard.
有一丝1999年丰田凯美瑞的味道
Mm-hmm. -A hint of 1999 Toyota Camry.
还有香烟味
And cigarette smoke.
一片天堂
Slice of heaven.
这就对了
And that's what I'm talking about.
我们实话实说
Because, let's be real,
你们进入房♥地♥产♥行业 就是为了出人头地
you're all going into real estate because you want to be somebody.
但是我跟你们说 你们已经出人头地
But I'm here to tell you that you already are somebody.
对吧？
Right?
你 先生
You, sir.
你这辈子做过最激动人心的 是什么事？
What is the most exciting thing you've ever done in your entire life?
我走走跑跑完成了5000米马拉松
I walked-ran a 5K marathon.
厉害！我告诉你 你可以更进一步
Good for you. And I'm here to tell you that you can go even bigger.
下次试试跑完 -别这样
Just run the whole thing next time. -Stop.
女士 你做过最激动人心的是什么事？
You, ma'am, what is the most exciting thing you've done?
昨天我第一次尝了“潘木瓜”
Yesterday I tried a papay-yay for the first time.
非常有异域风情 对吧？
Very exotic. Right?
嗯 你们两位 你们好
Yeah, you two. Hi.
你们做过最激动人心的是什么事？
What is the most exciting thing you've done?
谢谢 我没有故事可以分享 不过大家都说得非常好
No, thank you. I don't have a story I'd like to share, but great job, everybody.
没事 你一定做过一些事
Oh, that's okay. You must have done something.
当然了 说啊
Of course. Come on.
好的 我是一名宇航员
Yeah, uh, okay. Well, I'm an astronaut.
我登上了月球
So, um, I went to the moon,