太空部队（2020）

这机器有巧克力棒吗？
Does this machine have a Mars bar?
这里有
There it is.
哎 我很喜欢吃
Boy, do I love those.
到了这一步 这他妈机器吐任何零食出来我都要
This point, I'd take any snack out of this fucking machine.
可不是嘛 好的 对了 祝猫好运
Tell me about it. All right. Well… anyhoo, good luck with the cat.
妈的
Oh shit.
欢迎大家！请坐
Welcome! Hello, everybody. Take a seat.
怎么了？
What… What is happening?
新闻发布会我见多了
You know, I've seen a lot of press, but this has to be by far
但这是我这辈子见过的 最有魅力和智慧的发布会
the most attractive and intelligent press I've seen in my entire life.
你们哪里来的？ 是模特吗？是假媒体？
Where did they get you from? Are you models? You all fake press?
看看 模特 模特 好多模特
Look at this. Model, model, model, model.
太离谱了
This is insane.
女士们 先生们 即将到场的是
Ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado,
一位英雄 一个传奇
a hero, a legend…
太空部队的守护者
…the guardian of Space Force,
大家欢迎安吉拉·阿里上尉
give it up for Captain Angela Ali.
来吧！
Let's go!
操！
Fuck.
后面的朋友 你们好 谢谢！
Hey. Back in the room. Here we go. Thank you.
你还好吗 上尉？ -非常好
How you doing, Captain? -Great.
很好 我们开始吧
Very good. Let's start it off.
要提问的举手
Raising hands. Looking for a first question.
前排颧骨特别突出的这位
How about you, sir, with the razor-sharp cheekbones in the front row.
问一个问题吧 一定很精彩
Lemme hear a question. I know you got a good one.
其他宇航员去哪儿了？
Where are the other astronauts?
其他宇航员之前都有约了 还有的约了看牙
The other astronauts all had previous personal or dental appointments.
不用担心 你有问题问这位英雄吗？
You don't worry about that. Do you have a question for this hero?
有 当时月球上同时存在 两个军事超级大国
I do. Two military superpowers were on the moon together.
协调两国宇航员安全返航的过程中
Was there any tension coordinating a safe return
有没有出现紧张的情况？
for both nations' astronauts?
有的 出现了短暂的通信中断
Yeah. Um… There… There was a brief communication breakdown,
但通过外交努力与合作
but through diplomacy and cooperation,
我们一起安全地回到了地哎
we were able to work together to return safely home to erp.
“地哎”？
"Erp"?
什么？没有我说的是“地球”
What? Nah, I said "Earth."
我听见了“地球” 她说了“地球” 各位
I heard "Earth." You said "Earth." Right? She said Earth, everybody.
真不可思议 外交与合作
Unbelievable. Diplomacy and cooperation.
我很喜欢这个回答 问得好 回答得也精彩
I love that answer. -Great question. Great answer.
有幸见证真是荣幸 第二个问题在哪里？
Can't believe I get to watch this. What about a second question?
我们得保持冷静 否则…
We have to stay calm or…
你们在吸我们的空气！美国空气！
You're sucking up our air! That's American air!
典型的美国思维 觉得自己拥有一切
Typical American. Think they own everything.
你们在我们的飞船里！ 吃我们的食物！
You're in our ship! You're eating our food!
也是我们的食物！
It's our food too!
我们是美国人 习惯了大分量配给
We're Americans. We're used to very large portions.
各位 空气足够 好吗？也不会跑！
Guys, there's plenty of air. Air's not going anywhere.
食物也足够 我们没事！ -还有禽类
There's plenty of food too. We're fine! -And poultry.
没事 我们得保持冷静 否则我们会没命
It's fine. We just have to stay calm, or else we're going to die.
阿里上尉
Captain Ali.
阿里上尉？
Captain Ali?
抱歉 什么？问题是什么？
Sorry. What? Did-- Uh, what was the question?
哎 大家提问能不能声音大一些？
Hey, can we all stop whispering our questions?
我知道她是英雄
Listen, I know she's a hero,
但这不意味着她有 夜魔侠或蜘蛛侠那样的超级听力
but it doesn't mean she has super hearing like Daredevil or Spider-Man, okay?
所以提问的时候响亮一点 正常说话 再来一次 中间的这位
So, speak up and use our real voices. Here we go. One more time. In the middle.
阿里上尉 你在月球上最想念谁 或者说最想念什么呢？
Captain Ali, who or what did you miss most when you were on the moon?
安静 来了
Shh, shh. Quiet. Here it comes.
我在月球上最想念谁 或者说最想念什么？
Who or what did I miss the most on the moon?
辣味皮坎特玉米粒
Chile picante Corn Nuts.
伤人心啊 除非你的绰号♥是玉米粒
That hurts. Unless your nickname is Corn Nuts.
闭嘴 赛勒
Shut up, Xyler.
我什么都没说
I didn't say anything.
哎 你应该给她 买♥♥一些辣味皮坎特玉米粒
Hey, you should buy her some of those chile picante Corn Nuts.
真的？这样会不会逼得太紧？
You think so? You don't think that's too pushy?
不会 这会显示你倾听她的声音
No. No. I think it shows that you listen.
这是一种好的姿态 也很浪漫 中等辣度的浪漫
It's a nice gesture, and it's romantic. In a mildly spicy way.
好主意
That's a great idea.
玉米粒？ 知道我们能用这个赚多少钱吗？
Corn Nuts? Know how much money we could be making?
卡夫食品不付钱 我们就不提品牌
We do not drop names until Kraft drops checks.
这是我们的格言 你怎么回事？
That's our motto. What is going on with you?
对不起 那只鸟令我不知所措 分散了注意力
Sorry. The bird kinda threw me off. Broke my concentration.
别怪鸟 那只鸟现在上了热搜
Don't blame the bird. The bird is trending right now.
“月球鸟”排名第一 没人发现根本不是同一只鸟
"Moon bird" is the number one thing, and nobody has figured out
我很喜欢这只鸟
that it's a totally different bird. I love that bird.
我们休息一下 想想后面的采访
So let's think about the next interview.
不行 我不能接受后面的采访 不能接受任何采访
No, I cannot do the next interview. Or any interview.
我跟你说实话 我现在很难受
Look, I'm gonna be real with you. I feel like I'm having a hard time.
好吗？自从我回来 我连小事都做不了
Okay? Since I got back. I'm not able to do even small things.
衣服也不洗
I don't do laundry.
直接买♥♥新的
I just… I just buy new clothes,
穿脏了就扔 从窗口扔出去
then I wear 'em until they get dirty, and I throw 'em out a window.
这很正常！ -不正常！
That's normal. No, it is not.
很正常 绝对正常！
It is normal. Absolutely.
任何人都喜欢买♥♥新衣服
I don't know anybody who doesn't love buying new clothes,
谁又喜欢洗衣服呢？
and who likes doing laundry?
我不要谈月球了 我要休假
I think I just need a vacation from talking about the moon.
我去哪里都这样
It's… It's everywhere I go.
“哎 月球女孩在那里 在我老公背上签名”
"Hey, oh, there's Moon Girl. Sign my husband's back."
我不能再谈月球了 -好的
I need to stop talking about the moon. -Okay. All right.
也许这可以有所帮助
Maybe this can be of some help.
噢 感谢神
Oh, thank God.
不对 不能吃 -什么？
No, no. Of course not. -What?
问都不问就往嘴里放？ -我又不知道
Immediately you put it in your mouth? -I don't know.
这是主持人的耳机 戴在耳朵里
That is an anchorman's earpiece. You put that in your ear.
我到一边告诉你该说什么
I'm gonna be off to the side feeding you lines.
我说什么 你就说什么 你的大脑可以休息一下
You just say what I say. You could shut off your brain for a sec.
你真觉得这样可行？
You really think this is gonna work?
我知道可行 宝贝 肯定的
I know it'll work. Baby, I know it'll work.
艾伯森 现在时间不合适
Albertson, now is not a good time.
我没心情谈你的航♥空♥航♥天♥局烂事
I am not in the mood for your NASA bullshit.
阿德里安 如果是你 我就不会挂电♥话♥
I wouldn't hang up on me if I were you, Adrian.
我有一些消息 你可能会感兴趣
I have some info you might be interested in.
马洛里在打哈欠
Mallory yawns.
把你们预算削减告诉我的那只小鸟
The little birdie that told me about your budget cuts,
在五角大楼有一个朋友
he or she has a friend in the Pentagon,
他们在找人替代内尔德将军
and they're looking at replacements for, guess who, General Naird.
哎 你有没有确凿的证据？
Hey, do you have any real evidence of this?
还是只是你的小鸟在胡扯？
Or it's just your "little birdie" bullshit?
官方候选人名单复印件算吗？
Is a copy of the official list of candidates enough evidence for you?
妈的！祸不单行
Shit. This day just keeps getting worse.
我要这个吧 麻烦 谢谢
Uh, I think I'll take that one, please. Thank you.
买♥♥松饼？ -是的
Buying a muffin? -I am, yes.
很会选啊 是蔓越莓口味的吗？
Good choice. Is that cranberry?
是的 蔓越莓 蓝莓的卖♥♥光了
Cranberry, yeah. They were out of blueberry, so…
哎
Darn. Well.
我很喜欢吃松饼
I love muffins.
马克 我在想啊
Uh, Mark, I… I was wondering,
要不私下说几句？
might I be able to speak with you privately?
好的
Sure. Yeah.
其实我也要找你私下谈谈
Actually, I need to talk to you too, in private.
好的
Okay.
要不我们出去吧？散散步
Why don't we go outside? Go for a walk.
好的 走吧
Yeah. Let's…
我们出门去走走
We should, yeah, outside, I think. Out of the… the doors. Outside.
好的 出去呼吸一下新鲜空气
That sounds good. Get outside. Get some fresh air.
好的 -远离人群
Sure. -Away from people.
远离人群和容易损坏的东西
Away from people and breakable objects.
嗯 我可以出去吃松饼 -要不要袋子？
Yeah. I can eat my muffin out there. -Do you want a bag for that?
不用
No. I'm good. I'm good.