太空部队（2020）

为了让他头脑清晰 以便作出正确的决定
So he's clear-minded and can make good decisions.
为了让他不朝我发火
So he doesn't get mad at me.
好的 拿一张滤纸 打开
Okay, so we take a filter. We unfold it.
她说她带宽不足
She said she doesn't have the bandwidth.
因为“你配不上我”这种话 她是说不出口的
Because how could she say, "You're just not good enough for me"?
兄弟 不是因为你
Dude, it's not you.
我以前总以为当性玩物很爽
I always thought it would be amazing to just be a sexual plaything.
谁会不愿意呢 对吧？
Who wouldn't want that, right? -Hmm. Mm-hmm.
但其实并没有这么容易
But you know what they don't tell you? It's not that easy.
你有没有想过去找她 说出自己的感受？
Have you thought about actually going to her and telling her how you feel?
我试过了 但是我不擅长这个
I've tried, but… I'm not good at that stuff.
哎！陈 你很出色
Oh my God. Chan, you're an amazing person.
看着我 你很出色
Look at me. Look at me. You're an amazing person.
在我眼里 你是美男子
When I see you, I see a beautiful Adonis.
在我眼里 你非常聪明
I see someone so smart,
以至于我害怕在你身旁说话 以免显得自己傻
I'm afraid of saying words around him because I'll look stupid.
在我眼里 你是一位 有爱心且善解人意的火箭科学家
I see a caring, sensitive rocket scientist.
你就是这样的人
That's what I see in front of me now.
在你嘴里 我确实挺吸引人的
You know, when you say it, I sound pretty desirable.
嗯？
Well?
你能把这些跟她说吗？
Can you tell her that?
你想让我说？
You want me to do what?
跟她说我很出色、很帅 你刚才说的都跟她说
Tell her I'm amazing, uh, handsome. Whatever you just said. Tell her.
你要我帮你炒作？ -对！那就太好了！
You want me to be your hype man? -Yes! That would be amazing!
不行 我高中时试过几次 每次我都被打脸
I can't. I tried it a bunch in high school. It blows up in my face every time.
这样对你没好处
You do not want this.
对不起 我要求过分了
I'm sorry. I overreached.
没错
You did.
有点奇怪 怪我 -太离谱了
That was weird. I made it weird. -That was crazy.
你不用去 没事 -谢谢
You don't have to do it. It's cool. -Thank you.
好多鸡块啊
That's a lot of nuggets, right?
别…
Don't…
好吧 我去说 -真的？
Okay, I'll do it. -You will?
嗯 我帮你 -真的？
Yeah. I got you. -Really?
我帮你 我去说
I got you. I'll do it.
真的？ -嗯 真的
You mean it? -God. Yes, I mean it.
神啊！你最好了！
Oh my God. You're the best!
来
Here you go.
噢 谢谢 亲爱的
Oh, thanks, honey.
怎么样？
How is it?
很好
Good.
我问你一件事
Bug, let me ask you something.
你可以去这里任何人那里实习
Of all the people that you could have interned with here,
为什么偏偏选布拉德？
why did you choose Brad?
不知道
I don't know.
呃
I mean…
这里的人都挺吓人的
everyone's pretty intimidating here.
有科学家、宇航员、士兵
Like, they're scientists and astronauts and soldiers.
太空人 -随便了
Spacemen.
从布拉德这里开始感觉挺不错
Whatever. Brad seemed like a good start.
好吗？而且你总是说工作不分大小
Okay? And you always say that there are no small jobs.
你我都知道这是胡扯
Well, we both know that that's a bunch of hooey.
好的 我们在杀外星人之前 是不是应该先尝试和他们沟通呢？
Okay, shouldn't we try communicating with the aliens first before killing them?
哎 我的学霸们怎么样了？
Hey, hey. How's my group of brainiacs doing?
进展如何？
What do you have so far?
好的 根据这个
Okay. Well, based on this,
我们要不就开枪打他们
we can either shoot 'em
要不就漂白剂弄死他们
or we can bleach 'em to death.
好的 我知道你们都不喜欢这次任务
Okay. I know that none of you are fans of this mission,
但是拜托啊 各位
but come on, guys.
我们得想出比这个好一些的点子吧
We need something a little bit better than that.
我们可以用 题目为如何杀死外星人的演示文稿
We could bore them to death with a PowerPoint
让他们无聊死
on how to kill aliens.
总有些时候 我们得做不愿意做的事
Look, sometimes we all have to do things that we just don't want to do.
这是动员演讲吗？
Is this a motivational speech?
阿德里安 并不是每一项工作都很性感
Adrian, not every job is sexy,
但都值得好好去做
but every job is a job worth doing well.
我爸曾说：“马克 把垃圾拿出去
My dad, he used to say, "Mark, take the trash out."
但别光拿出去 而是要放进垃圾箱
"But don't just take it out. Put it in the trash can."
而且别光放进垃圾箱 还要塞到箱底
"And don't just put it in the can. Shove it to the bottom of the can."
而且还得把盖子盖上 马克
"But don't just do that. You gotta put the lid on too, Mark."
而且得把盖子盖紧 以免小动物进去”
"And you need to snap the lid tight to keep the critters out."
他是一个有智慧的人
He was a wise man.
他可能会问：“是什么样的外星人？
And he might ask, "What kind of alien are we talking about?"
是有背着类似硬龟壳的外星人吗？
"Is it an alien with a hard, turtle-like shell?"
如果是的话
"And, if so,
我们用什么口径的子弹 去击穿他的壳呢？”
what caliber bullets do we use to penetrate that shell?"
任何口径都可以吧？
Any caliber.
因为龟壳并不防弹
Because turtle shells aren't bulletproof.
帮帮忙 拜托听我说
Look, look, look, look, look, look, just… just do me a favor,
请想一些有创意的击杀方法
and try to come up with some creative ways to kill something, please.
谢谢 -明白
Thank you. -Understood.
什么他妈事都要我自己来做
I gotta do fuckin' everything myself.
能跟你说几句吗？ -我的停车位不能给你
Can I talk with you in private? -You can't have my parking spot.
是关于陈 -怎么了？他没事吧？
It's about Chan. -What happened? Is he okay?
天哪！如果你担心他 那就太好了 请吧
Oh my God. If that worries you, this is gonna go amazing. Please.
首先 陈很好
First of all, Chan is fine.
我这样说的意思是陈没出事
And by that, I mean Chan is doing fine,
同时也是说这小伙儿很帅…
but also that boy is fine…
我不喜欢这样 -嗯 没问题 看这个 好吗？
I don't like that. -Yeah, of course. Look at this.
他来了 -什么啊？
Okay? There he is. -What?
哇！
Wow!
哎 你知道吗？
Hey, did you know
他十岁的时候
that at age ten,
就是乒乓球冠军了
Chan was actually a table tennis champion?
不是吧 我倒不知道
No, I did not know that.
而且他对许多人都特别善解人意
Also, did you know he is incredibly sensitive and cares about so many people?
看 如果他是这样对待一只老鼠
Look, if he treats a rat like that,
想象一下他会如何对待情侣 这个人可能就是你哦
imagine how he would treat a romantic partner. That could be you.
托尼 这太傻了
Tony, this is stupid.
他是不是给你钱让你来的？
Did he pay you to do this? Put you up to it?
我是为了公益免费服务 -真令人吃惊
All pro bono. You know what? I'm surprised.
我知道 他很不错 对吧？ -不 我是说你
I know. He's incredible, right? -No. You.
我以前一直觉得你 自以为是、喜欢控制别人
Yeah, I always took you for kind of, like, a, you know, self-absorbed, manipulative,
没有灵魂 胡扯专家
you know, just soulless kind of bullshit artist.
哇
Wow.
不过也是专家嘛 非常感谢
It is an art form. Thank you very much. -Mmm.
怎么样？给你们安排约会吧？
So, what do you say? Put you guys down for a date?
我向你保证 一旦来到他的面前
I swear, once you get in front of him,
你会有与我现在相同的感受
you'll feel what I'm feeling right now.
不 我也说不清 其实根本不是因为陈的问题
No. No, no, no. Just… I don't know. It's not even Chan.
我们谈谈嘛
Let's talk about it then.
如果不是陈的问题 那是什么问题？
If it's not Chan, then what is it?
我需要喝一杯
I need a drink.
看好了
Check this out.
这是我在高中学到的小技巧 来了
Whoo! A little trick I learned in high school. Here we go.
好 我们敬什么？
Yeah. All right. What should we toast to?
敬陈
To Chan.
天哪！你这么喜欢陈 要不你和他约会算了
God, you love Chan. Maybe you should date him.
有道理 我反正也是孤身一人
Maybe I should. I got nobody else in my life.
不可能吧 你认识的人最多了
That can't be true. You know more people than anybody.
这手♥机♥里一定有人值得再看一看
Come on. There's gotta be somebody in this phone worth another look.
别碰我的手♥机♥ -怎么了？
Don't touch my phone. What?
手♥机♥在我口袋里 我不希望别人看
This is in my pocket all day. I don't want people looking at it.
我又不会捣乱
I'm not gonna do anything bad.
以前从没有别人看过我的手♥机♥
I've just never had anybody actually look in my phone before.
给我 好吗？别紧张
Let me… Can I? Please? Just calm down.
有谁呢？我们来看看
Who we got? Who we got? Let's see.
好的 等一下 “在里诺处得不开心”
Um, okay. Wait. "Bad Times in Reno."
“太喜欢爵士乐”
"Likes Jazz Too Much."