红粉日记：索扎达姐妹（2023）

Secrets & Sisterhood: The Sozahdahs S01E04

Part 3 Aug. 18, 2023, 12:34 p.m.

呜我不明白。
Wh-Wh-What was so good about it, Mom? I don't understand.
你做过饭吗？你做了什么吗？
Did you do any cooking? Did you do anything?
这就是她想回去的原因。- 她没有做饭。她没有打扫。
That's why she wants to go back. - She didn't cook. She didn't clean.
当我的母亲在80年代初逃离饱受战争蹂躏的阿富汗时,
When my mother fled war-torn Afghanistan in the early '80s,
她留下了她唯一的妹妹和她的家人。
she left behind her only sister and her family.
时隔30多年,妈妈终于团聚了
After 30-plus years, my mom was finally reunited
和她姐姐的家人在一起。
with her sister's family.
不幸的是,我妈妈的姐姐已经去世了,
Unfortunately, my mom's sister has since passed,
所以当我妈妈去巴基斯坦看望我的表兄弟时,
so when my mom visits my cousins in Pakistan,
他们像对待黄金一样对待她,像钻石一样对待她。
they treat her like gold, like diamonds.
他们等著她的手脚。
They wait on her hand and foot.
按照字面。。。她的愿望就是他们的命令
Literally... her wish is their command
因为她让他们想起了他们的妈妈。
because she reminds them so much of their mom.
你离开了六个月。
You left for six months.
你来这里的时间还没那么久。
You haven't even been here that long.
就像,你几乎没有来过这里。-我不明白。
Like, you've barely been here. - I don't understand.
我们寄了很多钱回村里的家人
We send a lot of money back to our family in the village
因为天课是伊♥斯♥兰♥教的五大支柱之一。
because zakat is one of the five pillars of Islam.
这是每个穆♥斯♥林♥都需要的,
It's required by every Muslim,
它正在给予那些不幸的人
and it's giving to those who are less fortunate
而且没有办法。
and don't have the means.
它不仅仅是我们宗教和文化的一部分,
It's not just a part of our religion and culture,
但因为我们知道他们有基本必需品,
but because we know that they have basic necessities,
我们希望尽我们所能提供说明。
and we wanna help out as much as we can.
但与此同时...我希望我们能发送它
But at the same time... I wish that we could just send it
这就足够了。
and that would be enough.
但他们希望我妈妈在身体上在那里。
But they want my mom to be there, physically.
我们所有人都为她的安全感到害怕。
And all of us are scared for her safety.
我不知道,妈妈。我明白Shaista在说什么。
I don't know, Mom. I get what Shaista's saying.
我们应该是第一位的
We should be first
而且看起来您首先制♥作♥它们。
and it seems like you're making them first.
♪ "All On My Own" by Signature Tracks playing ♪
嘿,宝贝。- 嗨,宝贝。
Hey, babe. - Hi, babe.
很高兴见到你。- 很高兴见到你,尊敬的。
Good to see you. - Good to see you, too, hon.
你说塔可星期二,我想——
You said Taco Tuesday, I'm like--
我像这样从婴儿床上来到这里。
I came over here like this from the crib.
你知道,有一句话,汤姆福特说
You know, there's a, a quote that Tom Ford says
他说-- -哦,上帝,我们用引号♥来。
and he says-- - Oh God, here we go with the quotes.
“穿著得体是良好礼仪的标志。”
"Dressing well is a sign of good etiquette."
我觉得我已经跟上了你生活中发生的事情。
I feel like I'm pretty caught up to speed as far as what's going on in your life.
我的意思是,你总是在我们身边。
I mean, you're always around us.
有时候,你知道,你的心情很好。
Sometimes, you know, you're in your mood.
同上。贾米拉有很多。- 沙库尔紧随其后。
Ditto. Jamila having many of them. - And Shakur following not too far behind.
在我与沙库尔通电♥话♥后,
After my phone call with Shakur,
我只是试图在我们之间保持一些距离,
I've just been trying to keep some distance between us,
而不是和她一对一地出去玩。
and not hang out with her one-on-one.
随著婴儿的失去,
With the loss of the baby,
现在,我仍在处理整个情况。
right now, I'm still processing the whole situation.
就是这样。我的意思是,让它成为一个教训
It is what it is. I mean, let it be a lesson
它不会再以这种方式发生。
that it don't happen again this way.
这不是吸取的教训,沙库尔。来吧,你是认真的吗？
This is not a lesson learned, Shakur. Come on, are you serious?
感谢您的支援。
Thanks for your support.
贾米拉！-好。
Jamila! - Okay.
她正在和姐妹和妈妈一起举办泳池派对,
She's having a pool party with the sisters and Mom,
所以,我想解决我内心的感受,现在,
and so, I'd like to resolve whatever I'm feeling, internally, right now,
只是像姐姐一样和她说话。
and just talk to her as a sister.
所以,流产后,你是我打电♥话♥的第一个人
So, after the miscarriage, you're the first person I called
因为第一,你和我一起度过了最糟糕的时期。
because number one, you were with me through the worst of it.
然后,当我们进行对话时,
Then, when we were having the conversation,
我只记得你只是麻木不仁。
I just remember you just being insensitive.
就像,我没有——我希望你像姐妹一样在那里。
Like, I didn't-- I wanted you to be there as a sister.
你的感觉是有效的...但我对你说实话。
Your feelings are valid... but I'mma be real with you.
在你配得上做母亲之前,你应该做一个妻子。
You deserve to be a wife before you deserve to be a mother.
一个男人可以把一个孩子放在你里面,
A man could put a baby in you,
可是他就不能尊重你,让你娶妻吗？
but he can't respect you enough to wife you up?
就像,这对我来说很荒谬。- 我们都有意见,
Like, that's ridiculous to me. - We all have opinions,
我认为我可能对你保密的原因之一
and I think one of the reasons why I probably kept this a secret from you
是因为我害怕审判。
was because I was afraid of the judgment.
我担心你会把文化带入其中。
I was afraid that you were gonna bring culture into this.
它与文化无关,与宗教无关。
It has nothin' to do with culture, has nothin' to do with religion.
这更像是尊严。比如,尊重自己,
It's more like dignity. Like, respect yourself,
尊重你的阴♥部♥。
respect your pussy.
我认为最让我伤心的是这个想法,
I think what hurts me the most is the idea that,
就像,我几乎应得的,因为我走出了,
like, I almost deserved this because I went outside of,
比如,文化和宗教,现在这是我的惩罚。
like, the culture and the religion, and now this is my punishment.
我已经感到足够的责备了。
I already feel enough blame.
我已经感到足够的内疚和羞愧。
I already feel enough guilt and shame.
我不需要从姐姐那里感受到更多。
I don't need to feel it even more so from a sister.
沙库尔,我尊重自己。
Shakur, I do respect myself.
不像我在计划这个... - 我知道。
Not like I was planning this... - I know that.
...但是如果我生了孩子呢,沙库尔？
...but what if I would've had the baby, Shakur?
那个男人没有要求你嫁给他？姑娘,再见...再见。
And the man didn't ask you to marry him? Girl, bye... Bye.
我需要喝一杯。
I need a drink.
就像,你太了不起了,为什么一个男人不嫁给你？
Like, you're so amazing, and why wouldn't a man marry you?
你看到一群人庆祝没有婚姻的婴儿洗礼。
You see a bunch of people celebrating baby showers with no marriages.
那不是我的方式。这不是我想要的姐♥妹♥们♥的方式。
That's not my way. That's not the way I want for my sisters.
我认为每个女人都应该享受怀孕
I think every woman should enjoy a pregnancy
和孩子的父亲在一起,并拥有那个支持系统。
with the father of their child, and have that support system.
要知道,我总是想给你最好的。
Know that I always want best for you.
我知道。- 所以,我很抱歉。我是。
I know. - So, I'm sorry. I am.
我听到你的声音。-右？这是不同的
I hear you. - Right? It's a difference
的意见和东西。-右。
of opinions and stuff. - Right.
沙库尔有一个非常过时的方法
Shakur has a very antiquated approach
约会、爱情、婚姻和孩子。
to dating, love, marriage, and children.
我只是不相信这一点。
I just don't believe in that.
归根结底,这就是我的生活,
And at the end of the day, this is my life,
我要过我的生活。
and I'm going to live my life.
我只是想让你做个妹妹,对吧？
I just wanted you to be a sister, right?
对不起。
I'm sorry.
哦,我的上帝。-完善。
Oh, my God. - Perfect.
我并不总是需要我的姐♥妹♥们♥同意我的观点。
I don't always need my sisters to agree with me.
我们是一家人。我们经历了最艰难的时期。
We're a family. We've been through the toughest times.
即使我们看不见眼睛,
Even though we don't see eye-to-eye,
无论如何,我们仍然会互相支援。
that we're still gonna be there for each other, no matter what.
那么,你准备好当妈妈了吗？
So, are you ready to be a mom?
是的。我的意思是,是的。
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
我想要孩子。
I want babies.
但在我之前,他做了输精管切除术,甚至在我们见面之前。
But before me, he had a vasectomy, before we even met.
然后,就在我们聚在一起之前,
And then, right before we got together,
大约在那个时候,他做了逆转输精管切除术。
around that time, he had got a reversal vasectomy.
所以,在你们结婚之前,他告诉你他做了输精管切除术,
So, before you guys got married, he told you he had a vasectomy,
但它被逆转了。-不。不。不知道。
but it was reversed. - No. Nope. Didn't know about it.
因为那个时候,他没有在正确的头部空间
Because at that time, he wasn't in the right head space
从他服用的所有药物中。
from all the pharmaceuticals he was taking.
他可能真的认为他告诉我
He probably honestly thought that he told me
他做了输精管切除术,但他从未向我透露过。
that he had a vasectomy reversal, but he never had disclosed it to me.
你生气他瞒了你吗？
Are you mad that he hid it from you?
我不认为他隐瞒了,他只是没有透露。
I don't think he hid it, he just didn't disclose it.
当你在这么大的事情上撒谎时,你知道,你接受了输精管切除术
When you lie about something so big as, you know, you getting a vasectomy
当我姐姐试图怀孕时,
when my sister's trying to get pregnant,
我的意思是,你还隐瞒了什么？
I mean, what else are you hiding?
他忘了告诉你一件重要的事情
He forgot to tell you one important thing
那可能是你们之间的区别
that could be the difference between you
和这个男人有和没有家庭。
having and not having a family with this man.
J有前辈关系,
J had offspring with previous relationships,
不幸的是,他没有得到真正的机会
and unfortunately, he didn't get a real chance
成为他们的父亲。
to be a father to them.
我希望有一天能够给他机会
And I hope to one day be able to give him the opportunity
以他应得的方式为人父母并成为父亲。
to parent and be a father the way he deserves.
但我们确实需要更多地谈论输精管切除术。
But we do need to talk more about the vasectomy.
我想这一切都会解决的。