校园时代

Schooled S01E08

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 12:12 p.m.

这是我的聚会梦
Dude, that's my reunion dream.
等等
Wait a minute.
你想的跟我想的是一样的吗
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
是的
Yes!
等等不是
Wait, no.
我好久没跟你搞秘密计划了
I'm out of practice at scheming with you.
跟我说说
Fill me in.
我的计划在90年代大火电影
My plan was all laid out in the '90s hit movie
《两朵校花》里完全展示出来了
"Romy and Michele's High School Reunion."
你和我要在我们的同学聚会上扮演"罗米和米歇尔"
You and me are gonna "Romy and Michele" Our reunion.
-你加入吗 -也许吧
- You in? - ‭Probably.
我还没看不过看上去很露骨
I haven't seen it yet, but it looks very broad.
讲的是两个女生假装是
It's about two ladies who pretend to be
发明便利贴的百万富翁
millionaire inventors of Post-it Notes
度过了超棒了一次同学聚会
and totally have the reunion of a lifetime.
我有问题
Question.
她们的计划不是告吹了吗
Doesn't their entire plan fall apart
很快就被人识破她们其实是废物
when they're quickly outed as the actual losers they are?
那是因为她们太蠢了
That's only 'cause they're super dumb,
但我们超级聪明
but we're crazy smart.
最聪明的对了这人怎么在这儿
The smartest. Also, why is this dude here?
是啊你为什么在这儿
Yeah, why are you here, dude?
这是我的教室
This is my classroom.
我改卷子的时候你们突然冲进来
You guys just barged in and started playing a movie
开始放电影
while I was grading tests.
还不是因为你老是霸占着音像设备
That's on you for always hogging the A/V equipment
你个大蠢货
'cause you're such a giant goobus.
莱妮你不用扮演什么"罗米和米歇尔" 好吗
Lainey, you don't need to "Romy and Michele" Anything, okay?
尽管你有很多缺点你在这其实干得很棒
Despite your many flaws, you're doing shockingly well here.
看你被选为月度最佳老师
Look! You were voted Teacher of the Month!
他们投我是因为我用彩虹糖
The kids only voted for me 'cause I bribed them
贿赂他们
to behave with Skittles.
这不重要因为这是份至高荣誉
Doesn't matter, because it's a giant honor.
你该感到骄傲
You should be proud.
是啊我以月度老师的身份
Yeah, I'm sure everyone at the reunion
走下直升机的时候
will applaud me as I step off my helicopter
大家肯定都会掌声欢迎我
as Teacher of the Month Spice.
她把你怼死了哥们
She totally just burned you, dude.
祝你们说谎愉快
Have fun with your lies.
我们会的
We will!
G-斯科特有空吗
G-Scott! You got a minute?
应该是J-格拉斯
Actually, it's J-Glass.
不过无所谓找我什么事
But sure, what's on your mind?
我想确认我们意见一致
I just wanted to make sure that we're on the same page.
-好 -这张照片
- Okay. - This photo right here --
威廉·佩恩体育
是鲁本赢得州冠军
now, that's Rubén winning state.
你看到站他旁边庆祝的人是谁了吗
Now, you see who's standing next to him celebrating?
是你看看他指向了观众里的谁
Well, that's you, but look who he's pointing to in the stands.
好吧
Okay, well, uh...
这张照片呢
How about that photo right there?
奖项成就
那是小鲁本·阿马罗
See, now, that's Rubén Amaro Jr.
在宾州地区
thanking me personally
体育奖宴会上亲自感谢我
at the Pennsylvania regional sports awards banquet.
就是他赢了这个的那次宴会啊
Oh, the banquet where he won that --
他把它送给我
which he gave to me as a reminder
时刻提醒着我们导师-学生的关系
of our mentor-mentee relationship?
我教会了他怎么投球
Well, I taught him how to throw a ball.
-你有做到吗 -这我可永远做不到
- Did you do that? - Oh, I could never do that.
我只教会了他怎么克服他的焦虑和恐惧
I just taught him how to conquer his anxiety and fears,
解放他成为最好的自己
freeing him to become the best self he could be.
别回避我的问题约翰
Don't dodge the question, John.
我知道这是什么情况了
I see what's happening here.
瑞克这不是竞争
Rick, this is not a competition.
你肯定对鲁本的生活产生了影响
You definitely had an impact on Rubén's life,
尽管我的影响更大更有意义
even if my impact was bigger and way more meaningful.
更大更有意义
Bigger and more meaningful impact?
我让他进入了大联盟
I got him to the major leagues!
我们都知道鲁本最看重的是他的教练
We all know that Rubén values Coach over everybody else.
J-格拉斯
Hey, J-Glass!
我想我们可以在我走之前去吃顿饭
Thought we could grab a bite before I go.
食堂有土豆块
They got tots in the cafeteria.
土豆块是我告诉你的
I told you about tots.
什么
Huh?
你们好好享用你们的午餐
You guys enjoy your lunch.
我有一整支棒球队
I, uh...I have a whole baseball team
等着给我带肋肉
waiting to bring me delicious sides.
比土豆块好吃多了我们有烤薯皮洋葱圈
A lot better than tots. We got tater skins, onion rings.
我们今天甚至还有起司条
We even have mozzarella sticks today, so...
祝你们吃得开心
Whoo-hoo to you guys.
教练或许最近不太顺利
Coach may have been in a bad place,
但我和艾丽卡可是得心应手
but Erica and I were in familiar territory.
天回到这里感觉好奇怪
God, it is so weird to be back here.
跟你当初搬出去时一模一样
I mean, it's like the exact same since you moved out.
虽然我走了我妈还是会进来
Even though I'm gone, my mom still comes in here
打扫窥探闻我的枕头
to clean and pry and sniff my pillow.
好消息是今晚我们将成为金色之神
Well, the good news is, tonight, we become golden gods.
这是什么
What's all this?
新的你
The new you.
我为我们富裕繁荣的生活
I've created intricate dossiers
制♥造♥了复杂的卷宗
for our wealthy and flourishing lives.
好详细
It's so detailed!
罗米和米歇尔搞砸了
See, Romy and Michele blew it
因为她们没用心
because they didn't put in the work.
我住在法国南部的一个葡萄园里
I live on a vineyard in the south of France,
我嫁给了一个伯爵
and I'm married to a Count?
天那我就是伯爵夫人了
Oh, my God. That makes me a Countess.
-王室成员这是你应得的 -等等
- Royalty. You deserve it. - Okay, but wait.
为什么我的王室丈夫没有陪我来参加聚会
Why is my royal husband not with me for the reunion?
他因为"房♥事"而神秘死亡
He died mysteriously of "Bedroom pleasures."
-吹得过头了吗 -我不介意
- Too braggy? - I'm good with it.
好给我讲讲你的新自己
All right, now tell me about your new self.
王室莱妮·刘易斯-斯塔摩斯
I am Lainey Lewis-Stamos,
一个半退休周游世界的
a semi-retired, globe-trotting
河船赌徒兼脸模
riverboat gambler and face model.
我住在一个与世隔绝的海岛堡垒里
I also live on a secluded island fortress.
我们还是自称普通女商人好了
Yeah, maybe we just stick with generic businesswoman.
嗯也许更可信
Yeah, probably more buyable.
但如果我们想做有钱的女商人我们该从事什么
But if we want to be rich business ladies, what do we do?
罗米和米歇尔说她们发明了便利贴
Like, Romy and Michele said they invented Post-its.
-我们呢 -百视达老板怎么样
- What's our thing? - What if we own Blockbuster Video?
不行它只给个体颁发许可证
No. That's a franchise licensed to an individual party,
也就是说我们最多也只能拥有几家店
which means at max, we could only own a small handful.
-你怎么知道的 -我以前在百视达工作
Wow. How do you know that? I used to work at Blockbuster
-我当时在洛杉矶打拼 -高层吗
- when I was trying to make it in L.A. - Corporate?
我更多的是负责成人视频
I more rewound the adult videos.
-莱妮啊 -别可怜我
- Aw, Lain. - No, don't you pity me!
我嫁给了斯塔摩斯
I'm married to Stamos!
前提是我们要想出一个令人信服的致富说法
Well, not if we don't come up with a convincing way we got rich.
-加克 -我知道好难
- Gak! - I know. It's so hard.
不加克
No, Gak!
我经常没收不知道怎么解释
I confiscate it all the time. I can't explain it.
一种黏滑的玩具
It's like this weird slimy toy-thing.
等等玩具
Wait. Toy-thing?
我就说吧如果是玩具我的书呆子弟弟肯定有
Told ya. If it's a toy, my nerd brother has it.
他不是20多岁快结婚了吗
Isn't he, like, in his 20s now and almost married?
-是的 -还玩玩具
- Yup. - And still with the toys?
这是个问题
It's a problem.
对我们来说不是
Not for us.
我们要以加克亿万富翁的身份去参加聚会
We're going to that reunion as Gak-zillionaires.