校园时代

Schooled S01E02

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 12:11 p.m.

就像老话说的移♥动♥最慢的风暴
As the man says, "The slowest moving storms..."
-会造成最严重的破坏 -会造成最严重的破坏
- Create the most destruction. " - Create the most destruction."
这个比喻不是很准确但它说出了重点
It's not a perfect metaphor, but it gets the point across.
如果你的重点是失败的话
If your point is failure.
-爱森斯坦是吹大号♥的对吧 -就像天使
- Eisenstein plays the tuba, right? - Like an angel.
下次乐队排练我要你拿着她的大号♥
Next band practice, I want you to take her tuba,
把它举在空中
I want you to lift it in the air,
然后你说
and I want you to say,
嗨和我一起去舞会吧
"Hey, let's go to the dance together."
把东西举起来
Lifting something
是不会帮他找到一个舞伴的
is not gonna get him a date to a dance.
当然可以
Of course it will!
你用你的核心肌群举东西
You lift with your core.
而核心肌群的中心就是心脏
At the center of your core is your heart,
也就是爱的肌肉
AKA, the love muscle.
举东西展示了爱的肌肉的力量
The lift showcases the strength of said muscle.
你刚刚说的一切都蠢极了
Everything you just said is dumb.
去把拱门捆住慢风暴
Go tie down that arch, slow storm.
-约翰 -弗莱明小姐
- John. - Oh, Ms. Fleming.
你的胸针真好看
What a beautiful broach you're wearing.
谢谢这是个长得像我子♥宫♥的贝壳
Thank you, it's a seashell meant to look like my uterus.
我已经找保管部要扫把
Um, I've asked custodial three times
和簸箕三次了
for a broom and a dust pan.
我的年轻女权主义者社团在放《末路狂花》
My Young Feminists Club is screening "Thelma & Louise,"
当里面的女主角飞下山崖的时候
and when those ladies fly off that cliff,
爆米花也会飞满地
the popcorn will fly, too.
好吧我会亲自骑个扫把给你的
Okay, well, I will ride a broom to you myself.
我是说拿个扫把
I mean, bring a broom.
我不骑扫把
I don't ride brooms.
但女巫们骑
But witches do!
好吧
Okay.
你喜欢丽兹·弗莱明
You're hot for Liz Fleming.
我没有
Me?! No!
看起来是那样吗
Did it seem that way?
我没有你为什么这么问
I'm not. Why would you ask?
我的鼻子出汗了吗
Is my nose sweating?
所有人的鼻子都会出汗
All noses sweat!
你在等什么
Well, what are you waiting for?
约那女人出去啊唐何
Ask the lady out, Don Ho!
我想你说的应该是唐璜
I'm gonna assume you meant Don Juan,
西班牙家传户晓的一名传说人物
而且不我绝不会跟这里的老师约会的
and, no, I would never date a teacher here.
就像任何一位好校长
Like any good principal,
我的私生活都留在校外了
I check my life at the flagpole.
那是我的准则
That's my code.
约翰作为你的朋友
John, as your friend,
我得告诉你
I have to tell you
你的准则就是垃圾
that your code is a load of crap
它只会让你悲惨的生活更悲惨
and will only make your sad life sadder.
作为你的朋友
Well, as your friend,
我得告诉你你的生活和我一样悲惨
I have to tell you that your life is equally sad
而且我们只是同事
and we're actually just co-workers.
我和正常人一样能感受到痛苦约翰
I feel pain like a regular man, John.
好吧听着
Okay, look.
我不会约丽兹出去的绝不
I'm not asking out Liz. Ever.
但是如果你想帮忙的话
But if you want to help out,
你可以给她送个扫把和簸箕过去
you can take her a broom and dust pan.
给我计时
Time me.
嗨丽兹我来帮我好朋友个忙
Hey, Liz, just doing my good friend a favor
给你带了一些打扫用具
and bringing you some cleaning implements.
瞧瞧你一个人搬这么大个柜子
Look at you lift that all by yourself.
-让我来帮你 -我可以的
- I mean, let me help you. - I got it.
我本来也需要锻炼
I needed the workout anyway.
你平常健身吗
You believe in physical fitness?
是啊今天早上做了直角坐墙
Yeah, this morning was wall-sits,
提膝跳和蛙跳
tuck-jumps, and frog squats.
蛙跳
Frog squats?
这是我最喜欢的下半身锻炼
That's my favorite lower-body calisthenic.
好吧我不是在赶你出去
Okay, well, not to push you out,
但我现在需要看一遍
but I do need to look over
这个赛季的田径训练日程
this season's track schedule.
你现在在做田径教练
You're coaching track now?
是啊我几年前放弃教田径了
Yeah, I gave up coaching a few years ago,
但是我有点想念它了你懂吗
but, uh, I've missed it, you know?
懂
Know?
如果不做教练我什么都没有了
Without coaching, I'd have nothing.
我是说真的什么都没有
I mean, literally nothing.
我有个非常充实的生活
Oh, I have a very full life.
我爱竞赛
I love the competition,
但我真正热爱的是将女孩们塑造为女人
but my real passion is molding girls into women.
我对男孩们有一样的热情
I feel the same passion about boys!
我是说男人们
I mean men!
塑造训练
Molding. Coaching.
我的鼻子在出汗吗
Is my nose sweating?
不比你其他地方出得多
No more than the rest of you.
在教练突然喜欢上了一个老师的时候
While Coach was suddenly falling for one teacher,
我即将被另一个戏弄
I was about to get tricked by another.
这不是年度教师吗
Oh, well, if it isn't Teacher of the Year.
我看你融入得并不顺利
Look, I see that you're struggling to fit in,
我想我能帮你好吗
and I think I can help, okay?
我知道作为新人是什么感觉
I know what it's like to be new.
所以我只是想帮忙
So I just want to help.
好吧
Fine.
你的建议是什么
What's your big advice?
如果你想得到他们的尊重
If you want their respect,
你得让他们知道你在乎
you have to show them that you care.
参与进来与孩子沟通
Get involved. Reach out to a kid.
我在乎我在乎到近乎疯狂
Oh, I care! I'm a caring nightmare!
我和你打赌我现在就能帮助某个孩子
I'll bet you right now I can help some kid.
-不想打赌 -输家给另一个人买♥♥CD机
- Don't want to bet. - Loser buys the other a Discman.
CD机是有什么我不知道的秘密吗
Is there something about Discmans that I'm not getting?
-就算给我个动力 -好吧
- Just give me the motivation! - Fine.
我赌你没法
I bet you can't
改变一个孩子的生活
make a difference in a kid's life.
比赛开始混♥蛋♥
You're on, assface.
我找到最合适的孩子了
I know just the kid.
我要和拉娜去舞会了
I'm going to the dance with Lana!
真棒汤姆·斯科特
Nice, Tom Scott!
我告诉过你慢慢来会成功的吧
I told you taking it slow would work.
是啊
Totally.
不过今天早上我举起了她的大号♥然后说
Also, this morning, I lifted her tuba and said,
我们应该一起去舞会
"We should go to the dance together."
等等所以你采用了教练的建议
Oh, wait, so you took the coach's advice?
而且成功了
And it worked.
虽然我举大号♥的时候放屁了
Although I farted when I lifted the tuba,
但拉娜太善良了什么都没说
but Lana was too nice to say anything.
我不敢相信
Wow. I can't believe it.
是啊我也是
Oh, yeah, me neither.
这太棒了
It was a real dooze.
最棒的是
You know, the best part is,
这是我来这学校第一次
for the first time since I've been at this school,
我觉得不那么孤单了
I, uh -- I don't feel so lonely.
我想要有像汤姆·斯科特一样的爱情
I want love in my life like Tom Scott.
给我一些愚蠢建议
Give me some dumb advice
这样我就能和丽兹·弗莱明交往了
so that I can date Liz Fleming.
不你说得对我不知道我在说什么
No, you were right. I don't know what I'm talking about.
是你帮了汤姆
You're the one who helped Tom.
但是是你的蠢话让他成功的
But your dumb words put him over the top.
作为你的朋友我得提醒你
As your friend, I need to remind you,
你有一条准则
you have a code,
也就是把你的私生活都留在校外