婚姻场景（2021）

这个... 还是交给你来说吧
I... I'll let you take this.
有趣 真有趣
Interesting. Interesting.
你能告诉我们你对成功婚姻的
Could you actually tell us what the definition of success is
定义是什么吗
that you're working with?
好的 首先
Yeah. Well, first of all,
这意味着你们还在一起
it means that you're still together.
这个标准太低了
That's a low bar.
是的
Yeah. Yeah.
我们的十年婚姻是否在统计中与众不同
Well, does our ten years make us statistical outliers?
如果忽略所有社会经济因素
Well, if we ignore all the socioeconomic
和种族因素 那么是的
and race parameters, then yes.
美国人的平均婚姻寿命是8.2年
The average marriage in the US is 8.2 years.
好吧 那么
Okay. Well then
难道你不应该先问一下…
shouldn't you ask first if subjectively that...
主观上 我们是否认为自己的婚姻是成功的呢
If we perceive our marriage to be a success at all?
好的 如果你能…
Well, sure. Yeah, if you can...
嗯 我这么说只是因为我觉得
Yeah, I'm only saying that because I feel like
"成功"这个词
that word, "success,"
象征着人们对婚姻
is kind of emblematic of a larger
存在更大的文化误解
cultural misconception about marriage.
是的 -所以才有这个项目 对吧
Yeah. - It's become this project, right?
你所研究的内容 "我们在为婚姻努力"
This thing that you work on, "We're working on our marriage."
这是一个... 数十亿美元的产业
It's this... multibillion-dollar industry.
包括了自助书籍
There's, you know, self-help books,
夫妻治疗... -是的
and couples therapy... - Right.
研讨会和播客
and workshops, and podcasts,
还有应用程序和电视节目
and apps, and TV shows.
这是一项巨大的业务
It's a huge business.
而你却认为这是个问题吗
And you see that as a problem?
听着 也许是因为我的背景
Look, maybe it's because of my background,
但我认为 很显然...
but I just think it's so obvious that... that...
西方文化 消费文化
Western culture, consumer culture,
蓄意创造了
has very purposefully created
这些完全非理性的期望
these completely irrational expectations
认为婚姻必须总是基于
that marriage must, at all times, be based
激♥情♥ 性♥爱♥
on passion, on sex,
和无休止的强烈情感
on relentless emotional intensity,
但显然这些都源于新鲜感
when it's so obvious that these things stem from novelty,
所以这整个概念就是个彻头彻尾的谬论
so the whole concept's a complete fallacy.
好的
Right. Okay.
那么 什么是...
So then, well, what is...
你的观念是什么呢
What's your concept?
我认为... 我们俩都把婚姻看作一种途径
I think... I think we both see marriage as a means.
而不是终点
It's not an end.
对吧 我觉得我们把它看成一个平台...
Right? I think we see it as a platform...
我们可以借助它...
where we both can...
它让我们可以作为个体发展
that allows us to develop as individuals.
我们都很热爱自己的工作 然后...
We're both really passionate about the work we do, and...
婚姻给了我们
and our partnership gives us
安全的空间来做这些 来...
the safe ground to do it, and to...
养育女儿 组建家庭
raise a daughter and have a family.
好的
Yeah.
米拉 你觉得呢
Mira, what about you?
不好意思 问题是...
Sorry, what was the...
我问的是 你的看法...
The question was about your perception...
对 我们的成功婚姻
Right. Our success.
我同意乔纳森说的
Well, I agree with what Jonathan said.
我觉得... 我们... 亲爱的
I mean, we... we come... Honey.
怎么啦
Hey. What is it?
你好 -你好
Hi. - Hi.
我是丹妮尔 你记得我吗 -这是谁
I'm Danielle. Remember me? - Who's that?
怎么了 小可爱 -放完了
What's wrong, honey bunny? - It's over.
好的
Okay.
不好意思 去去就回 -当然可以
Sorry, give us a second. - Of course.
来吧 我再给你放一个 好不好
Come on. I'll put another one on for you, okay?
慢慢来 别着急 -为什么我不能
Take your time, no worries. - Why can't I watch it
在这儿和你一起看平板
here with you on the iPad?
我们马上回来 -因为呀 小笨蛋
We'll be right back. - Because, silly goose,
我们在开个小会 但之后... 没事
we're having a little meeting, but then... It's okay.
我还是... 我在这儿陪她看吧
I'm just... I'm gonna stay with her and watch.
我来 没事 亲爱的
I got it, I got it. I got it, sweetie.
不 我想... -你还没回答完问题呢
No, I'm gonna... - You're in the middle of your answer.
可我超想赶紧解决这事 拜托 我...
Yeah, but I'm dying to get this over with. Come on. I'm...
我知道 但是可能还得有一会儿
I know, but it's just gonna be a little longer.
她说最多一个小时 -爸爸
She said an hour at the most. - Daddy.
好的 宝贝 我给你放上
Okay, sweetie, I'm gonna put it on.
怎么了
What's wrong?
没事
Nothing.
玩得开心
Have fun.
好的 马上就好 耐心点
Okay. Just one second, patience.
不好意思 -不用 没事
Sorry about that. - No, no, it's fine.
我完全能理解 -是
I know exactly how it is. - Yeah.
我非常感激你们能答应做这个
I'm so grateful to you both for doing this.
找研究对象太难了
It's so hard finding subjects for research,
事实上 特别是直男
especially straight men, actually.
你很幸运 乔纳森超爱
Well, lucky for you, Jonathan loves
讲他的理论
talking about his theories.
那你的理论呢
Well, what's yours?
我... 我把婚姻看成...
Well... I think about it in terms of...
一种平衡
an equilibrium.
对 我认为
Yeah. I think that
婚姻中 有一种非常微妙的平衡
in marriage, there is this very delicate equilibrium
你们需要共同维护它
and that, you have to maintain it together.
你说的平衡是指什么
And what do you mean by equilibrium?
在一段关系最开始的时候
Well, you know, at the beginning of a relationship,
所有事都很刺♥激♥ 很新奇
everything's thrilling and it's new
就感觉只要彼此在一起 就没有事能伤害到你
and you feel as a couple that nothing can hurt you.
对
Right.
然后慢慢地你意识到
And then you gradually start to realize that actually,
事实上任何事都能伤害到你
anything can hurt you.
我去看看他们 -好的
I'm gonna go check on them. - Okay.
马上就回来 -好的
I'll be right back. - Sure.
没事吧 -嗯
Good? - Yeah.
不好意思 无线网出问题了
Sorry, the Wi-Fi was, messed up.
一直加载不出来
It wasn't loading.
她看完这个之前 我们还能有半个小时
We have another half an hour while she watches this one.
真好 -好的
Perfect. - Okay. All right.
好的
Okay. Great.
谢谢
Thank you.
那么...
So...
我想听听你们对于一夫一妻制的看法
Yes, I'd like to hear about your attitudes towards monogamy.
你们觉得自己对于对方的忠诚程度
To what extent do you see yourselves committed
有多高
to each other exclusively?
什么意思
Well, what do you mean?
我指性♥爱♥方面
I mean sexually.
完全出乎我的意料
I would say it was very unexpected.
是吗 我错过了什么
Well? What did I miss?
天呐 -她基本上就是在问
God. - Basically, she asked
我们有没有跟别人做♥爱♥
if they're fucking other people.
那有点唐突了吧 -是
That's a little intrusive, no? - Yeah.
为什么 -可能对你来说没有
Why? - Well, maybe not for you,
可你怎么会答应做这个呢
but how did you agree to do this?
我没有 是乔纳森应下的 他硬拉着我做的
I didn't. Jonathan agreed, and he dragged me into it.
我没有硬拉着你
I didn't drag you into it.
你有 你就是有 -我没有
You did. Yes. - No, I didn't.
你有 他跟她在艾娃的幼儿园碰到的
You did. He met her at Ava's preschool.
对
Yeah.
因为那对双胞胎 她照顾那儿的那对双胞胎
For the twins, she takes care of the twins that go there.
她跟他说了自己的研究
So she told him all about it,
他就忍♥不住想要推销他的理论
and he couldn't help advancing his theories