婚姻场景（2021）

拜托 不要 别这样
Please. Don't. Don't. Don't.
为什么 -米拉
Why? - Mira.
你是世界上最了解我的人
Look, you know me better than anybody else on this planet,
所以我不会对你隐瞒
so I'm not gonna try to hide from you the fact
我确实有这种冲动 好吗
that I do have that urge, okay?
我很想说"去他的 我们..."
I have that urge to say, "Fuck it. Let's just...
是啊 -把这些文件撕掉
Yeah. - "tear up these papers."
让我们重新开始"
Let's do it. Let's start again," right?
为了这一刻 我已经等了两年了
I mean, I have been waiting two years for this very moment.
是的 -但我要克服这种冲动
Right. - But I have to fight it.
我们都要克服它 -不 我们不用
We both have to fight it. - No, we don't.
我们需要 因为这解决不了问题
Yes, we do, because it's never going to work.
我已今非昔比 你也不是从前的你了
I'm not in that place anymore, and you're not in that place.
但 但我们可以回到过去
But, but we can find our way back,
这就是我们现在所做的
I think that's what we're doing right now.
不 不是这样
No, that's not what we're doing.
就算我们每次见面
Look, just because there's this thing that happens
都会有感觉 那也不代表什么
whenever we see each other, that doesn't mean anything.
这都是假象 -不 不
It's a mirage. - No, no.
而我知道 今天过后 冲动褪去之后
And I know that after a day passed, after the excitement passes,
我们会看着对方 然后想
we would look at each other and we'd think,
"我们他妈到底做了什么" -不
"What the fuck did we do?" - No.
我们根本没办法住在一起
We can't live in the same house together.
到那时就太晚了 因为我们…
And by then it'd be too late because we...
不会再出这种事了 -听着 听我说
It's not gonna happen again. - Listen. Listen to me, please.
我这辈子从来没这么确定过
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
这次就相信我的直觉吧
Just trust my instincts for once.
行吗 行吗
Okay? Okay?
但是... -对不起 稍等
But... - I'm sorry. Hold on.
我得看下手♥机♥ 可能是…
I have to just check this 'cause I think...
可能是…
I think there's, um...
操 搬家公♥司♥… 他们要迟点到
Fuck. The movers just... They're running late.
你得给维罗妮卡回个电♥话♥ 她一直在打给你
And you have to call Veronica. She's been trying to call you.
你好 维罗妮卡
Hey, Veronica.
不 不 没关系… 没问题
No, no. It's ok... It's no problem.
让我跟她谈谈
Just, you know, let me talk to her.
你好 妈妈 -你好 艾娃
Hi, Mommy! - Hey, Ava.
亲爱的 就算你把盒子弄错了
Sweetheart, if you made a mistake
也没事的
with the boxes, you know, that's easy to fix.
我们可以 你知道的...
We can just, you know...
但亲爱的 你和爸爸可以…
But, honey, you and Daddy can like...
你可以等你们看到新家
You can make that decision tomorrow
明天再做决定
when you see the new house.
因为明天是周三 宝贝
Because, tomorrow's Wednesday, honey.
今天... 你还是和我住
You're... you know, you're with me today.
我知道的 但我们约好了每周二换班
Yeah, I know you were, but, um, Tuesday switches every week.
再看看自己的日程表 好吗
So, yeah, just check your chart, okay?
我明白 但我们已经约好了...
I know, but, you know, that's what we decided on, so...
求求你了 -艾娃
Please. - Ava.
米拉... -喂 维罗妮卡
Mira... - Hey, Veronica.
不 不 不用... 她就是不太想跟我说话
No, no, no, no. She doesn't... If she doesn't wanna talk to me,
没关系的
so that's okay.
大概还要一个小时吧
Um, I think maybe an hour or so.
好 拜拜
Okay. Bye.
嗯 拜
Okay. Bye.
你先回家吧 亲爱的
Why don't you go home, honey?
这里我能处理好 好吗
I've got everything under control here, okay?
冷静下 走吧
Calm down. Get going, okay?
那协议书怎么办
What about the settlement?
别管了 扔那儿就行
Forget about the settlement. Let's just toss it.
但... -这不重要...
But wh... - It's not important. I...
不值得
It's not worth it.
本来是重要的... 但...
It was... it was important, but...
我是想今天签完 但不值得变成这样
To get it done today, but, not at this cost.
为什么这对你这么重要
But why was it so important to you?
不重要了
Doesn't matter now.
拜托告诉我吧
Just tell me. Please.
说吧 为什么
Just say it. Why?
我就是觉得 可能我还想要个孩子
Well, I thought that maybe I wanted to have another kid.
我突然想通了
Suddenly I realized that it's the thing
这是生命中给我带来最多快乐的事
that brings me the most joy in my life.
我很擅长带孩子
I'm good at it.
我想给艾娃一个妹妹或弟弟
I want Ava to have a sibling.
同时我不想永无止境地等待
And I'm not willing to wait for the love of my life
我的此生挚爱
or whatever.
心理咨♥询♥的时候 其实也聊到了
And in therapy, it came up, actually,
对我来说 再要一个孩子
that having another kid was more important to me
比再找一个伴侣更重要
than having another partner.
后来 我跟系里的同事 西莉亚·派特森
And I was having lunch with, Celia Patterson,
一起吃午饭
from my department?
她刚和女朋友分手...
Her and her girlfriend just split up and...
就聊到了 她正在找一个
Well, it came up that she was in the process
对象
of looking for a partner,
男性对象...
a man, for, um...
叫什么来着...
What's it called?
选择性共同抚养 就是...
Elective co-parenting, which... yeah.
然后她半开玩笑地说
And kind of as a joke, she was like,
"你就挺合适啊 你怎么看"
"You'd be perfect. What about you?"
所以你要和西莉亚·派特森生孩子
So you're gonna have a kid with Celia Patterson?
我不知道 可能吧
I don't know. Maybe.
不一定是她
I mean, not necessarily her.
但是... 正式离婚之后
But it's a... it's a cleaner situation
再进行下一步安排会比较清楚明了
to go into that arrangement officially divorced.
不过我现在不想给你压力
But I'm not gonna put that stress on you right now.
不 -不是 我是说...
No. - No. I mean...
其实也不算...
it's not really...
我就是问问
I'm just asking, you know?
你想了这么久
All this thinking, you know, you've been doing
你想跟别人生个孩子...
about having a kid with whoever...
你有没有想过和我生
Even occur to you to have it with me?
和你生
With you?
说实话 我从来没想过你会愿意
Honestly, it never occurred to me that you would want to.
为什么不愿意
Why not?
为什么 -对啊
Why not? - Yeah.
你还在因为堕胎的事惩罚我吗
Are you punishing me for the abortion?
米拉 什么啊 你说什么呢 我...
Mira, what? No. What are you talking about? I...
没有任何迹象让我觉得
There's nothing that would make me believe
你会愿意 -但是我会的
that you would want to. - But I would.
我是说 我不觉得...
I mean, I'm not gonna...
我不觉得我们当时的决定是错误的
I'm not gonna say that we made a mistake back then.
我认为我们处理不好
I didn't think we could handle it,
我是指当时
you know, back then.
我觉得我们的婚姻承受不了第二个孩子
I didn't think our marriage could survive another kid.
我知道 是我错了
I know. Joke's on me.
但事实就是如此 所以...
But that's the truth, so...
我相信你
I believe you.
现在情况不一样了
And we're in a different place now.
是啊 -对
Yeah. - Yeah.
情况不一样了
Yeah. We're in a different place.
我们也和之前也不一样了
We're not the same people. You know, we're not,
我们不再年轻了 我们...
young anymore. We're not...
你说我不年轻了
You mean, I'm not young anymore?
不是 我没这么说 -你就是这个意思
No. That's not what I said. - That's what you meant.
没有 不是 我不是说... -就有
No. No. That's not... - Yeah.
不 不是... 这个问题跟你没关系 米拉
No, that's... it's not about you at all, Mira.
行吧 -我只是在想
Okay. - What I'm trying to do is see
有没有办法解构这种
if there's a way to undo this paradigm
孩子必须与浪漫关系绑定的模式
where having a kid is bound to having a romantic partner
也许这样我就能自♥由♥地...
because then maybe I'd be free to think about...
随便打炮 还不妨碍生养孩子吗
Free to keep fucking around and still get to have a kid?