瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

身为观察者 我很努力维持中立
As an observer, I try to stay impartial,
但我认为被告有罪
but I am not seeing innocence.
风头没有过去 瑞克
It’s not blowing over, Rick.
我也想叫你保持乐观 莫蒂
I’d tell you to stay positive, Morty
但我觉得陪审团的阵容看起来很不妙
but I do not like the looks of that jury.
真不敢相信我们让自己落入这种窘境
I can’t believe we got ourselves into this mess
就为了争论什么算探险的无聊事
over something as petty as what an adventure is...
是啊 我承认 自己对集点的标准有点随意…
I guess I can admit I got a little loose with the stamps.
抓到了 请书♥记♥官复述一下他的自白
Gotcha! Can the stenographer read back that confession, please?
肃静 杀害观察者是不可饶恕的罪行
Silence! The killing of an observer is unforgivable.
我们现在得决定 要不要终结你们的存在
We must now decide whether to end your existence.
庭上 如果在场的各位 真的什么都看得到
Your honor! If everyone here has truly seen everything,
那你们就都知道我和我孙子
then you all know that my grandson
跟巨人曾经有过一段过去
and I did this whole thing with giants.
什么过去
Did what whole thing?
由我来接手吧
I will address that!
我是你们的公设辩护人
I’m your court appointed defender.
庭上 请观察瑞克和莫蒂 跟巨人的这段过去
Your honor, observe the time Rick and Morty did this with giants!
这案子很单纯 莫蒂
This is an open and shut case, Morty.
你以为会发生什么事
Y’know what do ya think is gonna happen,
某个神奇天使会现身并…
some magical angel’s gonna show up and...
大家好 好像有公民的自♥由♥被侵犯了
Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the violation of civil liberties!
这跟现在的状况几乎一模一样 庭上
The moments are practically identical, your honor,
我主张应该判定审判无效 因为状况完全一样
I move for a mistrial on the grounds it bumps.
如果你的意思是 瑞克和莫蒂重蹈了覆辙
If the argument is that Rick and Morty repeat their mistakes,
那检方完全同意
the prosecution agrees!
天啊 你的声音 就跟我们杀死的那家伙一样
Oh God! You sound just like the guy we killed.
是＂遭控＂杀死
Allegedly.
那是我哥 我也不喜欢他的声音
That was my brother! I didn’t like his voice either!
这对我们的案情没有帮助
Well, this isn’t gonna help our case.
接下来这个短片也是
Neither will this next clip!
莫蒂 我帮你做了 一把大猩猩枪 很酷吧
Morty! I made you a gorilla gun. Pretty cool.
大猩猩枪 效果是我想的那样吗
A gorilla gun? Does this do what I think it does?
没错
你的午餐钱呢 小子
Where’s your lunch money, punk?
午餐钱吗
Lunch money?
你确定你想要的不是香蕉吗
Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a banana?
我还以为那把枪会把他变成大猩猩
I thought it would turn him into a gorilla...
你怎么会想让恶霸变成大猩猩
Why would you want a bully to be a gorilla?
那是能杀死大猩猩的枪
It was a gun that kills gorillas.
请对他酌情处置
Please go easy on him,
这次是我的错 下不为例
this one’s on me and it won’t happen again.
莫蒂 这是恶霸枪
Morty, this is a bully gun.
－真酷 －有什么问题想问吗
Cool! Any questions about it?
－没有 －是啊 应该很简单明了
Not really. - Should be self-explanatory.
玩得开心点
Have fun.
喂 背包拿来
Give me your backpack.
－你想欺负我吗 －对
You trying to bully me?
那我也变成恶霸 看你怎么欺负我
Well, how are you going to bully... another bully?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
我觉得这次不全然是我的错
I feel like this one’s not entirely my fault.
－好 你还好吗 －我没事
Okay, how do you feel? - I’m okay.
或许你就别再给我枪了 或是…
I mean, maybe just stop giving me guns, or...
或是不要做得那么模棱两可
Or make them less ambiguous,
我早就想好了 来 拿去吧
way ahead of you. Here. Take this.
这是一把枪 我会跟你解释得很清楚
This is a gun, and I want to be really specific here.
这把枪是拿来射坏人的 知道吗
This is a gun that you only use to shoot bad people. Are we clear?
－好 瑞克 －这把枪是什么时候用的
Okay, Rick. - When are you going to use that?
我想射坏人的时候
When I want to shoot a bad person.
很好
Okay.
我今晚过得很开心 洁西卡
I had a great time tonight, Jessica.
喂 把钱拿来
Hey. Give me your money.
你就等着接招吧
Why don’t you take this instead?
－你是杰佛瑞达默吗 －你好
Jeffrey Dahmer? - Hi.
－怎么回事 －我也不知道 我们快逃吧
What’s happening? - I don’t know, just run.
请在纪录上注明 后来还有好几把枪都出现了相同情况
Let the record show this bit continued for several more guns.
我们在那件事中 犯了什么罪 太笨吗
What are we even guilty of in that one, being kind of dumb?
你们的罪就是一直重复耍笨
For being dumb over and over!
可是庭上 这不就是实验的定义吗
But your honor, is that not the definition of experimentation?
不就是科学的基础吗
The foundation of science?
这样一来 瑞克和莫蒂不但没有不学习
And are Rick and Morty therefore not only not not learning,
反而是在主动学习 不是吗
but therefore actively learning?
请观察这个例子
Observe this example!
班富兰克林多久之后会复活
How long before Ben Franklin comes back to life?
天啊 太好了
Holy shit! Yes!
该死 他复活后变邪恶了
Shit! He came back evil.
你觉得我们再埋葬他一次 会发生什么事
What do you think will happen if we bury him again?
－你不知道吗 －这是我第一次
You don’t know? This is my first time
使用＂禁入坟场土＂ 莫蒂
using Pet Semetary soil, Morty.
我其实也有疑问
I mean as long as we’re asking questions...
我们在这里待了太久 我的手♥机♥已经没电了
We’ve been here so long my phone died.
－这没办法帮你的手♥机♥充电 －你可以好奇 我就不行吗
It’s not gonna charge your phone! - So you can be curious and I can’t?
该死 你说得对
Fuck, you’re right.
这可是全新的科学
We’re sitting on top of brand new science here,
我们来收集数据吧
let’s gather some data!
－背要出力 莫蒂 －你觉得车的油箱会被加满吗
Put your back into it, Morty! - You think it’ll refill the tank?
很棒的假设 莫蒂
Good pitch, Morty!
好 我们来埋那只袋鼠的下半身吧
Okay! Let’s bury that kangaroo from the waist down.
天啊 那它只有腿会复活吗
Holy shit! Will only his legs come back?
谁知道呢
Who knows?
嘿 我今晚跟你玩得很开心 莫蒂
I’m having a great time with you tonight, Morty!
－那是哪一个 －班富兰克林
What’s that one? - Ben Franklin!
记得我们尝试用锡箔纸包住他
Remember we tried wrapping him
看看能不能防止他变邪恶吗
in tin foil to see if it’d shield him from the evil?
没错
Oh yeah.
该死 好烫
Fuck! It’s hot!
我的天啊
Jesus Christ!
他变成烤乳猪了
It cooked him like a pig at a luau.
－好多汁 －瑞克 他是人
It’s so moist. - Rick! That’s a guy!
天啊 这地方把我们 变成了什么样子
Man, what is this place doing to us?
你们难道不尊重任何事物吗
Is nothing sacred to you two?
这些短片是怎么回事 我们现在究竟是为了什么而受审
What are these clips? What are we even on trial for anymore?
大家都是为了什么而受审的 孩子
What’s anyone on trial for, son?
看看你们究竟是善良还是邪恶
Being good or evil.
听着 我们虽然很不正经 但我们绝对不邪恶
Look, sure we can be irreverent but we’re far from evil.
我们结交的朋友比树立的敌人还多
We make more friends than enemies!
我们一起来看看吧
Let’s run the tape on that one!
嘿 瑞克 你能赋予我的吉拿棒生命吗
Rick, can you make my churros come to life?
没问题
On it!
嗨 我是小吉
Hi! I’m Churry!
小吉 想不想跟我一起玩
Churry, do you want to have fun?
当然好
Let’s go!
（娃娃机）
（魏斯安德森皇家热水浴缸大百货）
这是我这辈子最快乐的时光 小吉
This has been the best time of my life, Churry.
好 谢了 瑞克 你可以把他变回普通吉拿棒了
Okay, thanks Rick! You can turn him back into a regular Churros now.
什么 我没办法把他变回去
What? I can’t turn him back.
是你叫我赋予他生命的 我也做到了
You asked me to bring him to life. Done!
但他是吉拿棒 他没有内脏或大脑之类的
But he’s a churros, he doesn’t have internal organs, a brain, etc.
为了让他有生命 我就得让他有不死之身
in order to live, I had to make him functionally immortal.
什么
What?
（欢迎小吉）
是…是我的家人
My family!
再见 小吉 我会想你的
Goodbye, Churry. I’ll miss you.
这些只是普通的吉拿棒吗
These are just regular churro?
我的天啊 不
Oh my God! No!
你给我记住 莫蒂 我会让你跟我落入同样的下场
Mark my words, Morty. I shall leave you as you left me.
在贫瘠的星球上一心求死
On a barren planet. Praying for death!
我开始明白这个律师为什么不用钱了
I’m starting to see why this lawyer was free.
好吧 但我们从来没有 刻意伤害过任何人
Okay! Well we never intentionally hurt people.
对 我们只是会探险
We adventure!
有时候会出状况 我们并没有因为好玩而杀人
Stuff goes wrong, we don’t just murder for fun.