瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

杰瑞
Jerry?
爸
Dad?
他们留了字条
They left a note.
我们应该用瑞克的声音 还是用爸的声音念
Should we read it in Rick’s voice or Dad’s?
＂亲爱的家人 我们想过要留字条＂
“Dear family, we thought about leaving a note.
＂但我们其中一个人 就觉得不应该留字条＂
But then one of us was like why are we leaving a note,
＂因为那完全是杰瑞会做的事＂
that’s such a Jerry thing to do.
＂但我们如果不留字条 那就完全是瑞克会做的事＂
But if we didn’t leave a note, that’s such a Rick thing to do.
＂所以我们就意识到了 我们要做自己才对＂
And then we realized, we just gotta be us.
＂所以这是一张不用心写的字条＂
So it’s a note but it’s not really well thought out.“
就这样 他们还特地拿了纸笔写这个
That’s it? They got out a pen and a paper for this?
嘿 你们也有收到字条吗 我收到的字条很长
Hey, did you guys get a note too? Mine’s really long.
今天真是 适合搬玻璃的好日子 对吧
Beautiful day to be carrying glass?
真不敢相信那位临死的孩子 会许愿想要有窗户
I can’t believe a dying kid would wish for a window.
－该死 －嘿 拦住他们
Dammit! Hey! Stop them!
他们偷了我们的水晶
They stole our crystals!
没错 那是我们先偷来的
We stole those first!
东西在谁手上才是最重要的
Possession is 9/10th’s of my ass!
－看看这扁屁♥股♥ －住手 你会害我放屁
Look at this pancake butt. - Stop, you’re gonna make me fart.
喂 那是我要啜饮的
Hey! That’s for sipping.
我的蛋蛋也是
So are my balls!
给你个忠告 小姐
Here’s a tip, lady.
－只要大口喝 人生就会更美味 －只要大口喝 人生就会更美味
Life tastes better when you’re chugging.
你刚刚躲在树上吗
You were in a tree?
你又无法确定我们会选这个逃脱路线
Really gambled on this escape route.
我都已经压在你的背上了
Says the guy with a goon on his back.
－别管了 汉堡 －这是我们的特色
Forget it, Burger! - It’s our calling card!
就知道会这样
Really called that one.
我们每次都会有一个人中枪
One of us always gets shot.
该死
God dammit!
嘿 你绝对猜不到 是谁刚刚偷走了我们的货
Hey. You’ll never guess who just ripped us off.
猜得真准
Oh wow, good guess.
－天啊 －２４小时内偷２４次水晶
Oh man! Twenty-four crystal heists in twenty-four hours!
我们太厉害了 宝贝 好耶
We’re two farts in the wind, baby.
－快学霍华迪安叫 －好耶
Do your Howard Dean scream.
某个地方已经５点了…
Five o’clock somewhere. Five o’clock somewhere.
天啊 看看我们
God damn, look at us.
没有规范又没有责任
No rules, no responsibilities.
两个好朋友一起亡命天涯
Just two best friends on the run.
－好耶 －好耶
不好意思…
The voice mailbox for,
等等 发出哔声了吗
wait, wait, wait, wait did it beep?
我叫杰…
My name is Jer...
语♥音♥信箱已满 再见
Is full. Goodbye.
他们好像才刚离开
Looks like we just missed them.
所以他们现在就到处 把汉堡塞进死人的嘴里吗
So they just stick burgers in dead guy’s mouths now?
－这些人都是罪犯 桑美 －你还帮他们说话
In dead criminal’s mouths, Summer. - You’re defending them?
他们毕竟是我老公和我爸
Well, they were my husband and father.
谢谢你跟我通风报信 布拉布
Thanks for the tip, Blarb.
真奇怪 我在黑社会认识的人几乎都不理我
It’s weird, most of my underworld contacts are ghosting me.
这是我的荣幸 莫蒂 应该是我要谢谢你让我赚大钱
My pleasure, Morty, I should be thanking you for making me rich.
等等 我又没有为此付你钱
Wait. I didn’t pay you for this.
对 不过他们有
Yeah, these guys did.
怎么了 小子 说不出话了吗
What’s the problem, kid, conehead got your tongue?
恰克斯利 你还活着
Chuxly? You’re alive?
他的身体一直都有洞吗 还是这是首次亮相
...Did this guy always have a hole or is that a big reveal?
－太棒了 －所有东西都应该要在沼泽里
Everything should be in a swamp!
跟你们合作真是馊主意
Working with ya’ll was a plum-fool idea!
汉堡和薯条 请问是谁
Burger & Fries, who the hell is this??
我就只是某个普通的中阶罪犯呆瓜
Just an average mid-tier crime dork.
恰克斯利 你还活着
Chuxly? You’re alive?
闭嘴 你可能会想听这个
Shut up! I got something you might wanna hear.
我抓到了在找你们的家人
Caught your family out looking for you.
－你想要什么 －我们偷来的东西都差不多抽完了
What do you want? We’ve smoked most of what we stole.
我就只想要你们 就你们两个
I just want you, both of you.
否则我会杀了你们的家人
Or I smoke your family.
我在讲什么 你们也顺便带钱来吧 就一个小时
What am I saying, sure, bring money too. One hour.
该死 看来我们该射油箱了 对吧
Shit. Guess we should shoot the fuel tank?
你们老早就可以这么做了
You guys coulda done that the whole time?
所以…
So.
接下来该怎么办
What now?
嘿 记得我们认识的过程吗
Hey, remember how we met?
那次莫蒂的非救援行动
That nonrescue of Morty?
我们当时还以为彼此不一样
We were thinking we were different
而且一直指控对方很糟糕
and accusing each other of being bad.
但莫蒂让我们想起了 我们两个都爱我们的家人
But Morty reminded us we both love our family.
这点也让我们团结一心
And it brought us together.
我们上吧
Let’s do this.
如果要认真行动 不如就用我们最棒的点子
Well, if we’re gonna do it right, we might as well use our best idea.
你们舒服吗
You guys comfortable?
不舒服吗 很好
No? Good.
你是谁 这里是哪里
Who are you? What is this place?
我儿子是不是在帮我爸贩毒
And does my son sell drugs for my father,
或许罪犯反而会对我说实话
maybe criminals will actually be honest with me.
水晶有可能是任何东西 妈
Crystals can be anything, Mom.
－对 但这些水晶是毒品 －莫蒂
But these crystals are drugs. - Morty!
做好准备 各位 就是现在
Here we go, boys! This is it!
－杰瑞 －瑞克
Jerry? - Rick!
－外公 －我的天啊
Grandpa? - Jesus christ.
－莫蒂 桑美 女儿兼老婆 －莫蒂 桑美 女儿兼老婆
Morty. Summer. Daughterwife.
－你们不用担心了 －你们不用担心了
You are safe now.
我的天啊
Holy shit.
你把两个人的所有优点 完美结合在一起了吗
All the positive aspects of each, perfectly melded together?
－没错 我是杰瑞克 接招吧 －没错 我是杰瑞克 接招吧
Yes. I am... Jerricky.
好 各位 我们对这种状况完全没有准备
Alright boys, nothing could have prepared us for this!
我们现在就只能开枪并祈求会成功了
At this point we gotta shoot and hope!
而且所有东西都是易燃物
Also everything’s flammable!
嘿 两位 帮帮忙
Hey, guys! Little help!
－急着走吗 －急着走吗
Gotta split?
抱歉 恰克斯 一切都是起因于我
I’m sorry, Chux! I started this!
全都是我的错
It’s all my fault!
你这道歉很真诚 新人
Solid apology new guy.
如果我们能活下来 我就不跟你追究责任
If we live through this, you're off the hook.
射得真准 莫蒂
Nice shot, Morty.
所有东西都是易燃物
Everything’s flammable.
你们这家人真不简单
What a family.
－你中枪了吗 －没有…
You got shot? - No, no, no...
我的伤口缝合后一直没完全愈合
The stitches, they never really set.
没办法 我是工作狂
What can I say, I’m a workaholic.
我就知道这一天会来临
I knew this day would come.
－恰克斯利 这样的死法很好 －恰克斯利 这样的死法很好
Chuxly. This is a good death.
－你是为了想主宰你的世界而死 －你是为了想主宰你的世界而死
You sought mastery over your world.
不对…是我越界了
No, no. I stepped out of line.
我以为我可以杀神
I thought I could kill god.
在罪恶世界当老大的压力真大
Being a boss in a crime world.
说实话 杰瑞克 能在你的四臂中死去 我也很欣慰
So much stress. Honestly Jerricky, it’s a relief to die in your four arms.
－要来顿最后的晚餐吗 －要来顿最后的晚餐吗
Final meal?
这汉堡放多久了
How, how old is this?
可以听收音机吗
Can we turn on the radio?
现在就算是听Ｐｏｄｃａｓｔ 我也能接受
At this point, I’d even take a podcast.
－你没听到 －你没听到
Do you not hear
－原子在太空中死去的交响乐吗 －原子在太空中死去的交响乐吗
the symphony of atoms dying in space?
没有耶
...no?
－很好 你们来了 －很好 你们来了
Good. You are here.
－我修改了家里的保全系统 －我修改了家里的保全系统
I have modified the house defenses.
－这样能确保那些匪类 －这样能确保那些匪类
They will ensure
－不会再来打扰你们 －不会再来打扰你们
the mob never bothers you again.
谢了
Thanks.
我受不了了
This is killing me.
我还以为你来救我们的时候
I thought when you came to rescue us you learned
学会了要更爱我们