瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

－做得好 医师 －请叫我海伦
Well done, Doctor. - Call me Helen.
（瑞克来电 该死的太空人）
（维吉尼亚州是情人之州）
如你们所见 维吉尼亚州没有犯罪 没有贫穷
As you can see, Virginia has no crime, no poverty.
－所有物品都是免费提供的 －Communist混♥蛋♥
All goods are freely given. - Communist bastards.
－所有物品都是免费生产的 －Communist混♥蛋♥
And all goods are freely made. - Communist bastards!
究竟发生了什么事 把秘密告诉我吧
So what happened? Tell me the secret.
如果我告诉你 你就会告诉所有人
Well, if I tell you, you’ll tell everyone.
但我如果让你亲眼看看 你就不用告诉所有人了
But if I show you, you won’t have to.
你这样讲很令人不安又神…
How unsettling and cryptic of...
天啊 原来是这样
My God, so that’s it?
你们都只是喝醉了
You’re all just drunk?
总统 这是某种控制身体的集体意识
Sir! It’s some kind of body snatching hive-mind!
你的信仰总算派上用场了
Finally your religion comes in handy!
不 我唯一能见到 威尔史密斯的机会没了
No! My only chance at meeting Will Smith!
你得接电♥话♥ 混♥蛋♥ 我会打给你就代表有紧急状况
Pick up your phone, asshole, when I call it’s an actual emergency!
瑞克
Rick?
同一体
Unity.
冷静点…
Take it easy, take it easy...
我能解释 先让我把状况控制住
I can explain, just let me get things under control.
你控制事物就是解释了
You controlling things is the explanation
我们明明说好了 你不能在我工作的地方做这种事
and we agreed you wouldn’t do it where I work.
你在用什么鬼东西喷我
The fuck are you spraying me with?
是我在你离开之后开始用的香水
A new scent I picked up after you left.
名字就叫＂分离＂
I call it "Separation."
你调制出了＂驱我剂＂
You concocted a me repellent?
这点子难道不好吗
Does that look like a bad idea?
瑞克 你是在跟 全维吉尼亚州的人谈恋爱吗
Rick, are you in a relationship with the population of Virginia?
我们交往过
We dated.
－我只是想谈谈 －我只是想谈谈
I just want to talk.
我相信你应该有无数台手♥机♥
I’m pretty sure you have trillions of cell phones.
不 快回来 我们来谈谈
No, come back, let’s talk!
幸好你带了菁英团队来
Thank god you had a crack team with you.
－海伦在哪里 －＂海伦＂
Where’s Helen? -"Helen?"
是她叫我这样叫她…
She initiated first name...
（欢迎莅临维吉尼亚州 情人专属）
呼叫直升机 有人想坏我的好事
Call in a chopper! I’m being cock blocked!
瑞克 是我
Rick! It’s me.
同一体释放了我
I was released from Unity.
很好 那你应该就不介意我喷这个
Cool, so you won’t mind if I spray this.
我不介意 但我们被包围了 而且同一体知道你的装填时间
Wel... I won’t, but we’re surrounded and Unity knows your reload time.
我真心认为你和同一体应该谈谈
I really believe you and Unity should talk.
你懂什么 你就只是个营养师而已
How would you know? You’re just a nutritionist.
跟我一样研究营养学这么久的话
When you work in nutritionism as long as I have,
对这种事就会有…
you get a certain feel...
－冷静点 我们是因为担心你才来的 －冷静点 我们是因为担心你才来的
Calm down. We came because we’re worried about you.
－为什么 －我们听说了一些事 瑞克
Why? - We hear things, Rick.
我有试图打给你 但…
I tried calling but...
你是不是真的又在找＂他＂了
is it true you’re looking for... him again?
你上次差点就死了
You almost died last time.
这跟你无关
That’s none of your business.
－你的事当然跟我们有关 －你的事当然跟我们有关
You’re our business. - You quit that business!
你离职了 你也被开除了
And you’re fired from that business!
我要用你最后的薪资
And I’m using your last paycheck
补贴你偷走的钉书器 也就是我的心
to cover the stapler you stole which was my heart!
内战 宝贝
Civil War, baby!
抱歉 我只是想达到镇♥压♥效果
Sorry. That was supposed to be suppressive.
瑞克 等等
Rick, wait!
－谢谢你 安德雷 －谢谢你 海伦
Thank you, Andre. - Thank you, Helen.
我们该处理这些混♥蛋♥了
It’s time to put these bastards on ice.
－启动穹顶 －遵命
Cue up the dome! - Yes sir!
你有各个州大小的穹顶吗
Do you have a dome the size of every state?
你要跟我约第二次会才会知道
You’ll need a second date for that answer.
我要吐了
Barf.
国家今晚陷入了混乱
A nation in turmoil tonight as the entire state
整个维吉尼亚州
of Virginia
持续被困在能量穹顶之中
continues to be trapped inside an energy dome.
白宫发表了声明
The White House released a statement dismissing
表示总统喊出＂内战 宝贝＂
the President’s shouts of "Civil War, baby."
只是夸饰而已
as hyperbole. Shonda,
香妲 你怎么看
what do we make of that?
他简直就是恶霸 汤姆
More like Hyper Bully, Tom.
天啊 香妲真呛
Shit. Shonda came to play.
这位总统就任期间发生过
This President has been in office
几次外星人入侵事件了
for how many alien invasions?
更别提变种火鸡
Not to mention the mutant turkeys,
废弃白宫绕着地球转
the abandoned White House orbiting our planet,
还有环保意识恐龙的事
the eco-conscious dinosaurs...
然后他看到了维吉尼亚州
Then he sees Virginia
和他们完美的经济以及同步割草
with its perfect economy and synchronized lawn mowing,
所以就对他们开枪
so he shoots them
然后把他们关在穹顶里
and puts them in a dome?
－标准的克提斯作风 －谁能把新闻转成静音吗
Classic Curtis. - Will someone mute the god damn news?
我如果想听自己所有的错
If I want a list of my failures,
我就会把我妈挖出来
I’d dig up my mother.
我…我很抱歉 你不喜欢这样 对吧
I’m... sorry, that’s a turn off, right?
男生在战情室里大吼自己妈妈的事
Guy screaming about his mother in a war room?
山查兹 美国人讨厌你的穹顶 多久之后才能打开
Sanchez! America hates your dome! How long is it going to be up?
有注意到吗 穹顶在直升机上时
Hope you marked that. It was his dome in the chopper.
是他的 现在变成我的了
Now it's mine.
在我关掉之前 穹顶会把同一体的那部分关着
It will contain that part of Unity until I shut it down,
因为在场有一个人 知道该怎么划清界线
because... one of us here, Knows how to set boundaries.
瑞克 我同意 我接下这个任务并不恰当
Rick, I agree that my accepting this mission was inappropriate,
－我受邀的时候并不知道… －他想搭讪你吗
when I was invited, I didn’t know... - That he was hitting on you?
我知道他可能另有意图
I was aware of potential romantic motivations.
－我也有兴趣接受 －太好了
And I was open to them.
但我并不知道我们会相遇
But I did not know you and I would be crossing paths.
你根本就不在乎
You mean you didn't care.
因为你一只手上有你的职业伦理
Because on one hand, you got professional ethics,
另一只手上是举世闻名的老二
and in the other hand you got world-famous schlong.
－我现在可以打你了 －放马过来
Now I get to beat you. - Bring it...
外星太空船正在接近地球 并且在呼叫我们
Alien vessel approaching Earth! It’s hailing us!
－转接过来 －我不是你的属下
Put it through. - I don’t work for you.
那当然 你烂透了 我自己来
You couldn’t, you suck. I’ll do it.
总统先生
Mr. President.
小姐 你如果把这艘船 开到美国的星球来
Lady, you bring that ship to America’s planet,
我就会发射四千颗导弹
I’m launching four thousand warheads.
其中三千颗会发挥作用
Three thousand of which will turn out to work.
然后我会打电♥话♥给中国 到时候你就真的完蛋了
Then I’ll call China and you’re really fucked.
我们先听听同一体要说的话
Let’s listen to Unity.
－你还在这里吗 －那你呢
Are you still here? - Are you?
我如果想要地球 我早就拿下来了
If I wanted Earth, I would have taken it.
－才怪 －少来了
Bullshit. - Gimme a break.
你把我身上的八百万个部分切断了
You cut eight million pieces of me off.
－很痛 －你还真可怜
It hurt.
你已经讲得很清楚了 我们没办法当朋友 瑞克
You’ve made it clear we can’t be friends, Rick,
但我得重新跟那些人连接上 才有办法好好释放他们
but I need to reconnect those people so I can properly release them.
他们现在的集体意识并没有意识
They’re hosting a mindless collective,
如果连接上了另一个意识 就会变成独♥立♥的群体
if it connects to another mind, it could become its own colony.
你还做了简报吗
You made a Powerpoint?
你得搞清楚这件事有多严重
I needed you to understand how serious this is.
－我应付得来 －我们有喷雾 臭女人
I can handle it. - We got the spray, bitch!
别这样跟同一体说话
Don’t talk to them like that.
瑞克 你不信任同一体吗
Rick, do you not trust Unity?
－闭嘴 －道歉
Shut up. - Apologize.
－咬我啊 －你不信任我吗 瑞克
Eat me. - Do you not trust me, Rick?
－谁会信任你 －让瑞克回答
Who would? - Let Rick answer.
宝贝 我知道你想帮忙 但…
Baby, I know you want to help, but...
安德雷 我觉得我们得放慢步调
...Andre. I think we need to move slower.
放慢 我连碰都还没碰过你
Slower? I haven’t even touched you
你就已经开始干政了
and you’re already back seat war rooming.
－安德雷 －海伦