权力的猴戏（2016）

He's not my mate.
他不是我老朋友
I didn't vote for him so
我把票投给他 可不是为了
he could start singing the national anthem
让他开始唱国歌♥
and wearing a tie like some fascist.
还戴着条领带 跟个法♥西♥斯♥似的
No, but, I mean... Permission to come aboard!
是 但我是只说 要求上车 请批准
What's that? Another one for my collection.
那是啥 我的又一收藏品
Collection? Yeah.
收藏品 是啊
See, in my barn
在我的仓库里
I've got what I call my Museum Of Official Stupidity.
有个我称之为官方蠢货博物馆
It's my way of rolling back the nanny state.
这是我反击这个保姆式国家的方法
This...is why we're a nation of obese kids -
这个牌子 就是为啥咱国家有这么多胖小孩
and after the referendum
公♥投♥之后
there won't BE a European Court of Human Rights
我们就不归欧洲人♥权♥法庭管了
that they can go waddling off to,
他们就没法随便挪来挪去
bleating that their human right to have a big blubbery ass
瞎逼逼他们这帮大肥屁♥股♥的人♥权♥
has been violated.
遭到了侵犯
Someone might have seen you.
你会被人看见的
Nope. Might have been CCTV.
不会啦 你会被闭路摄像头录下来的
Not any more...
不会再被录下来啦
Here, have a look at this.
来 看看这个
Here's how my lovely Margosia
这是我亲爱的Margosia
will arrive at our wedding -
在婚礼上的入场方式
a coach and four white horses.
四匹白马拉的马车
Very ecologically friendly. Damn, I hadn't thought of that.
非常环保呢 该死 我怎么没想到
But I'm going to do it anyway.
不过我还是要这么做
And here is my beautiful bride-to-be.
这就是我美丽的准新娘
Ain't she stunning?
她是不是绝色美人
She's very...
她非常
..Striking.
惊人
How old is Margosia?
Margosia多大了
27. Hmm...
27 嗯
I fuckin' hate the way she does that.
我真♥他♥妈♥讨厌她发出那样的声音
How is the news digest coming along?
新闻摘要弄的如何了
Big news in all the English papers,
所有英文报纸都在报导的大新闻是
there was a huge storm.
大风暴来了
About what?
关于什么的风暴
No, that's it - there was a huge storm.
不 就这样而已 起了一场暴风雨
Oh, wait - a man in the West has cured cancer.
哦 等下 西方有个人声称治好了癌症
Really?!
真的假的
His name is...Noel Edmonds,
这人叫诺尔爱德曼
he has invented a magic box.
他发明了一种魔力盒
Yes. I will explain about this Noel Edmonds another time.
是啊 我还是下次再解释这个诺尔爱德曼吧
I wonder how Preeya's getting on with Brexit.
我想知道Preeya跟脱欧派相处得如何
With her desk here, it's almost like she's here in spirit.
看着她的桌子 就感觉她的魂还在这
Square, wooden, and you can't get in its drawers...
又刻板 又木头 还不让进到里面去
is the kind of joke I would make
如果不是因为不妥的话
if I didn't know it was... inappropriate.
我就会讲这个段子
Here we go, it's confirmed - Hillary Clinton has the nomination.
结果出来了 确认了 希拉里克♥林♥顿♥获得了总统提名
Hillary really worries me.
我真的很烦希拉里
Why, Ruby?
为什么呢 Ruby
The two Ls in Hillary.
她名字里有两个字母L
Why does she need the extra one?
为啥她要多一个
It's just a bit greedy.
感觉有点贪心
Well, this doesn't help.
这个消息也不咋地
Someone's dredging up smears about Liam Fox.
有人在深扒利亚姆福克斯过去的黑料
The unfortunate friend?
他那个倒霉朋友
You've seen it already?
你也看到啦
Y-Yeah... Obviously I've seen it.
嗯 嗯啊 很显然我看过了
Social media can be so anti-cohesive, can't it? I...
社交媒体可真能挑拨离间 是吧 我
I feel that we need a meeting to recalibrate our strategy.
我觉得我们需要开个会 重新调整下策略
Sorry. For what?
抱歉 抱歉啥
Oh, I...thought I'd groaned out loud.
噢 我以为我抱怨出声音了
No. Oh. That's all right, then.
没有啊 哦 那没事了
There's a new Harry Potter play.
出了一部新的哈利波特的戏剧
Would the President be interested to know that? No.
总统先生会有兴趣知道吗 不会
The President has no interest in this Harry Potter.
总统先生对哈利波特一点儿都不感兴趣
Not since Snape died.
自从斯内普死了以后
He was in pieces.
他心都碎了
Will he be interested in this Mourinho court case?
那他会感兴趣穆里尼奥被告上法庭的事吗
Of course. Chelsea Football Club is owned by Mr Abramovich,
当然 切尔西足球俱乐部的老板是阿布拉莫维奇
a close associate -
他和总统先生走得很近
who did not buy the President a yacht, by the way.
顺便一提 他可没有给总统先生买♥♥游艇哦
He did not buy the President a yacht?
他没有给总统先生买♥♥游艇
No. He did not buy him a yacht.
对 他没有给他买♥♥游艇
Note that down in case anybody asks.
把这个记下来 以防有人问起
Phwoor, it's humid.
呼 有点潮湿
Looks like it might rain.
看起来像要下雨
In English, Alexei.
讲英文 Alexei
Sorry. He wants the digest.
抱歉 他想看摘要
And nothing about the anti-doping story?
没有关于反禁药的报道吗
They can stick their tests up their ass.
让他们的药检见鬼去吧
Well, come on. We'll go in together.
来吧 我们一起进去
And don't limp.
别一瘸一拐的
He hates limpers.
他讨厌瘸子
持
保
Celebration drink!
喝一杯庆祝一下
I guess whichever side you're on,
我想 不论你是哪一边的人
a female candidate, it's a historic moment.
女性总统候选人 总归是历史性的一刻
Yeah, right? Go, sister.
是啊 对吧 姐们儿加油
Now, how do we nail the bitch?
那现在我们怎么搞垮那个贱♥人♥
Brett, how are we doing on the Muhammad Ali funeral?
Brett 拳王阿里的葬礼我们跟进的怎么样了
His family are not responding to our calls.
他们家不接我们的电♥话♥
That is just rude.
真没礼貌
Tell them we'll negotiate on him being a pallbearer.
告诉他们我们会争取让他做抬棺人
Uh, I found some names that aren't on the list.
呃 我找到了一些不在黑名单上的记者
And, should none of them work out,
就算 就算这些人都不能用
there is always Piers Morgan.
还有个皮尔斯摩根永远合适
He makes Donald look sympathetic.
他会让特朗普看起来很有同情心
Next to Piers, anyone looks sympathetic.
在皮尔斯身边 谁看起来都很有同情心
He's a guy, and he's British.
可他是男的 而且是个英国人
Well, if we can't find a woman,
嗯哼 如果我们找不到女记者
the nearest thing to a woman is probably a British guy.
那最接近女人的人就是英国男人了
Am I right, Brett? Sure.
我说的对吗 Brett 当然
But, no - well done,
但还是不要了 你做得不错
we will float the women you have found past him.
我们会把你找来的女人给他过一遍的
Here's the list. With the resumes.
这个是记者名单 和她们的简历
Yeah...
好的
He'll want photographs.
他会想要看她们的照片
In fact...
实际上
just photographs.
他只看照片
You know what they should
你知道他们应该
have done over Mike Ashley and the zero hours?
怎么对付迈克阿什利和他的零工时合同吗
They should have kept telling him
他们应该不断告诉他
he was expected to appear before the committee,
听证委员会要求他前往出席
then dragged him all the way down to London
然后把他大老远地弄到伦敦来
and then told him he wasn't needed that day.
等他到场了再告诉他 当天不需要他出现
And then they should have body-searched him on his way out.
然后在他出去的时候 搜他的身
But what happened to Sports Direct shares
但是动向体育的股价
while Ashley was being grilled?
在他被盘问的时候
They went up,
可是上涨了呢
cos all the investors thought, "That's a PROPER boss,
因为所有的投资者都觉得 那才是个像样的老板
"One who says,
一个会这样说的老板
'You have your baby in your own time, in the toilet.'"
"我可是给了你时间生孩子的 在厕所里"
But that's an allegation.
可这是别人对他的指控
The same with this Mourinho nonsense.
和对穆里尼奥一样废的指控
Everyone rushes to the court now.
现在所有人都争着抢着上法庭
"Oh, the manager called me a bad name."
"噢 经理骂我了"
"Oh, my boss says he's ex-SAS
"噢 我老板说他是前特种兵"
"And he's got a gun and he's going to shoot me."
"他还有支枪 说要打死我"
"My parents left me in a forest full of bears."
"爸妈把我扔在了一个全都是熊的森林里"