权力的猴戏（2016）

"Jose Mourinho, so humble."
"何塞穆里尼奥 如此谦逊"
"Mike Ashley looks so healthy."
"迈克阿什利看起来好健康"
"I really like that George Osborne."
"我真的好喜欢那个乔治奥斯本"
Sometimes I feel, Oliver, that you can drift into negativity.
我有时候觉得 Oliver 你会变得有点阴暗
Well, I better go and stick my head in Noel Edmonds's magic box.
那我最好还是回去把脑袋放在诺尔的魔力盒里
By the way, if you get asked about the registration extension,
顺带一提 要是有人问你注册延期的事
we have to say that we don't have an opinion.
你就说我们没有看法
Oh, that's all right, I don't have an opinion.
哦没问题 我也没看法
I mean, generally, I try not to.
我是说 基本上 我都尽量不要有看法
So, very excitingly, when we get to be shopping centre,
令人兴奋的是 在我们到达购物中心时
we're expecting a visit from that star Brexiteer John Redwood MP.
脱欧支持者约翰里德伍德会来
So that's good.
所以那很棒
We're after the waverers.
我们的目标是那些立场不定的人
So the key things to remember are...
所以要谨记
One - the other side have resorted constantly to Project Fear.
一 对方已经经常使用恐惧震慑
We're better than that.
我们比那更好
Two - don't forget to mention the millions of Turkish criminals
二 别忘了提那数不清的土耳其罪犯的事
swarming toward our shores.
一窝蜂涌到我们岸上
And three terrorism is... OK,
还有三 恐♥怖♥主♥义♥是 好啦
don't want to overload with directives.
不要用条条框框增加负担
They don't want to overload people.
他们不想增加民众的负担
So the key thing is, we want to go out there
所以关键的是 我们要走出去
and remind people it is time to claim our country back.
提醒人们 是时候收回我们的国家了
So let's go out there and spread the passion,
我们上街散播我们的热情吧
and, yes, you will have access to a toilet.
还有 是的 你们可以上厕所
So the referendum is
所以公♥投♥
people who don't know what's going to happen
就是一帮不知会发生什么的人
asking people who don't understand
问一群云里雾里的人
a question no-one knows the answer to.
一个谁都给不出答案的问题
The beauty of democracy.
这就是民♥主♥的美
Now, as well as monitoring the narrative in the Western press,
现在 除了监视西方媒体的报道之外
this unit's duties also
这个单位的工作还包括
include coordinating the President's diary
根据跟内部秘书处的事项
with the internal secretariat
协调总统的日记
and walking his dog.
帮他遛狗
We walk the president's dog?
我们要帮总统遛狗
YOU walk the president's dog.
是你 要帮总统遛狗
Every day at 11 and 3. The lead is there.
每天的11点到3点 牵引绳在那儿
Oh, and where are the bags? Bags?
噢那包呢 包
For the poop.
装屎的包
It's Putin's dog. It shits where it wants. Oh, OK.
这可是普♥京♥的爱犬 它爱拉哪拉哪 哦好吧
Do you know what Mr Trump says to me
你知道每次特朗普先生看到我
every time he sees me?
都会跟我说什么吗
"Go, fella."
"上吧伙计"
Sometimes with a little thumbs up.
有时还会稍稍竖起大拇指
And once, he said, "Kill 'em, fella."
有一次 他说 "干掉他们 伙计"
And once, he said, "Don't get too close."
还有一次 他说"别靠太近"
But I had a bad cold, so, um...
不过那时候我感冒很厉害 所以
Hey, team. Great day.
嗨 队友们 今天很不错
Lauren, how are yesterday's numbers?
Lauren 昨天的数据怎么样
Did Donald do better with the ladies?
特朗普在女性选民方面有没有表现的更好
Well, Hillary is still... Crooked Hillary.
额 希拉里还是更 不正当的希拉里
Always use her full name. Oh, right.
要说就说她全名 哦 好
Well, er, we are still struggling.
呃 我们还在努力
Do we like the word "Struggling"?
"还在努力"吗
I don't think we do.
我们不喜欢这个词
"Striving" Is a much better word,
"力争上游"还差不多
and "Succeeding" Is the best word.
当然"胜券在握"最好
Well, we are still striving to succeed
好吧 我们正"力争上游"
with Donald's female approval ratings.
希望能让特朗普的女性支持率"胜券在握"
"Triumphing" Is a good word, too.
"特朗普必胜"也不错
So, Lauren, using all of your experience,
那么Lauren 从你的经验来出发
what ideas do you have for us?
对我们的竞选工作有什么好意见吗
Well, when I was working on Bush's campaign
当我在帮助小布♥什♥竞选的时候
and Kerry was doing better with women,
发现克里在女性支持率方面做得比较好
I set up a big sort of up close and personal interview
我曾经预约过很多近距离私人访谈
with Barbara Walters,
由芭芭拉沃尔特斯来采访
so I was thinking maybe if Donald did...
所以我希望特朗普能
An interview with a top female journalist!
和最顶尖的女记者做一次采访
I love that idea. That is a great idea.
我喜欢这个主意 这个办法好
Who did you have in mind? - Cathy Grey.
你中意谁 - Cathy Grey
No, she's banned.
不行 她被禁了
Donald banned her. Didn't like her attitude.
特朗普禁了她 不喜欢她的态度
Oh. Well, er...
好吧 那
Mary Sherman?
Mary Sherman
Also banned. Again, attitude.
也被禁了 也是态度问题
Er, Katie Weisberg? Banned.
那Katie Weisberg呢 被禁了
June Corrigan? Banned.
June Corrigan行吗 被禁了
Did you get the list of
你到底有没有收到
journalists that are banned that I sent you?
我发给你那份被禁记者名单
Yeah, I tried to print it
收到了 我还想打印来着
but the printer kind of overheated, so...
只不过打印机好像有点受不了了 所以
What about Janet Hardy?
Janet Hardy怎么样
She'd be ideal. Yes! She's sma... Oh.
她是理想人选 她又那么聪明
No, think she's banned.
不行 她也被禁了
That question about the hands.
她的手太大了
Oliver, this isn't a big thing,
Oliver 这不是什么大问题
but in order to achieve an environment
不过要通过什么方法
that is conflict neutral...
才能达到一个混乱中立的局面
Don't be abusive about party members,
不要对党内成员说三道四
don't say mental defectives,
别说谁智商有问题
don't refer to the physical appearance of women
别对女性的外表品头论足
and don't call anyone a slag.
也别说谁是渣渣
You didn't call anyone a slag.
你没说别人是渣渣
Oh, no, that's right. I didn't get onto Boris.
哦不 你说得对 我还没说过Boris
言行乖张行为怪诞 卡梅伦退位后首相替任热门人选之一 现已退出党内竞选
鲍里斯约翰逊 前伦敦市长 保守党员 脱欧派代表
Now, Ruby, that place round the corner must be open.
好吧 Ruby 转角那里肯定已经营业了
How about cappuccinos all round? Great idea.
每人一杯卡布奇诺怎么样 好主意
Oh, you want me to go and get them?
哦 你是想让我去买♥♥是吧
Sure.
是啊
It is just round one corner, isn't it?
过一个转角就是了对吗
Just cos more than that and I can get confused.
再远我会迷路的
This is the direct line from the president.
这是直达总统的热♥线♥电♥话♥
It must always be answered before the third ring,
每次必须在响铃三声之前接听
that is the president's rule.
这是总统的规矩
If for some reason I am not in the room,
如果我有事不在
you must answer it before the third ring.
你必须在第三声铃响之前接电♥话♥
OK, we practice it now.
行了 我们来练一下
Sit at your desk. Sit. I will be phone.
你坐那儿 我来当电♥话♥
Ring-ring. Ring-ring. Ring-ring.
叮铃铃 叮铃铃 叮铃铃
We need to work on your reaction time.
你的反应速度还得再练练
Well, I thought that went pretty well. Tea all round?
我觉得今天的情况不错 要喝茶吗
Look, Spencer, you have got to try to stick to the facts.
Spencer 你一定要尽量做到实事求是
We're fighting the snooze factor, Gerry.
我们要对抗的可是一帮保守得不行的人 Gerry
We've got to do what Trump does.
我们就应该来特朗普那套
Say one attention-grabbing thing a day.
每天发表一次惊世骇俗的言论
Even if it's complete bollocks? Especially if it's bollocks.
就算全是扯淡也行吗 要的就是扯淡
That's how it grabs attention.
这样才惊世骇俗嘛
I've just tweeted that
我刚刚还发推说
since we've joined the EU,
自从我们加入了欧盟
there's been a rise in the number of veruccas.
脚上长肉瘤的更多了
Let's see Jon Snow try and fact-check that.
囧雪诺就是最好的证明
OK, but facts... Don't get bogged down on facts, Gerry.
但事实是 别一直嚷嚷着实事求是了 Gerry
That's the old politics.
那是老一套的做法
Just got a text in from Iain Duncan Smith.
刚刚收到一条伊恩邓肯史密斯发来的短♥信♥
He's making a big speech,
他要发表一次重要的演讲
and he's offering a bottle of champagne
还准备了一瓶香槟来奖励
for anyone that can come up with a joke
那些能想出笑话
that can definitely get him a laugh.
让他说出来逗大家笑的人
A joke that will definitely get a laugh
要想出个笑话