权力的猴戏（2016）

Did Michael Gove not get the "Don't mention the Nazis" E-mail?
迈克尔戈夫是不是没收到那封"禁止提到纳粹"的邮件的
Ah, he didn't actually mention the Nazis.
他实际上并没有提到纳粹
Oh, no, sorry, he just
不 不好意思 是我弄错了
talked about "Scientists in Germany who were
他只是提到了那些"30年代在德国
"Paid by the government in the 1930s."
政♥府♥给发工资的科学家们"
I wonder who they could have been working for?
呵呵那他们为谁卖♥♥命呢
We should have locked Michael Gove in a cupboard.
我们应该把迈克尔戈夫锁在橱柜里
He's an off-putting little prick.
他就是一个让人恶心的傻♥逼♥
Look, we all know that,
听着 我们都知道
there's no need to keep saying it out loud -
有些话没必要说那么明白
especially to Michael Gove.
尤其是对着迈克尔戈夫
The man was asking for it, he corrected my grammar.
他纯粹就是自找 他还纠正我的语法
Michael is a very capable man. Yeah?
迈克尔是个挺有能力的人 不是吗
Has he ever emptied a septic tank at three in the morning?
那他有没有在凌晨三点清空过粪池
Oh, that's your answer to everything, isn't it?
你这个老梗打算用到天荒地老了吗
No, it's not, but... If in doubt...
不 不是这样的 如果不确定
OK, listen, listen!
好 听着 听着
Tonight's Q&A is an 1,000-plus seater,
今天晚上的问答大会的参与者会超过一千个人
and obviously, in light of everything that's happened,
所以 想想最近发生的事情
we don't want any personal attacks.
我们不希望出现任何人身攻击
Both sides need to behave like grownups. Hear, hear.
两边都需要表现得像成年人 没错
Right... Although they did start it.
对 虽然是他们起的头
That is exactly the sort of thing that's...
我说得就是这种事儿
There definitely has been an unfortunate tone. I blame Farage.
现在这事儿搞成这样 全怪法拉奇
I thought you liked him.
我以为你会喜欢他呢
Can't stand the man, he's a liability.
根本受不了他好吗 他就是个累赘
And what don't you like about him? Oh, no...
他又有什么招你烦的地方 不要啊
One - he was a banker.
一 他是个银行家
Two - he bobs his head constantly
二 他每次强调一件事的时候
for emphasis, which is annoying.
就会拼命点头 非常烦人
Three - all his suits are stripy.
三 他所有的西装都带条纹
Four - he's always posing with a pint of bitter
四 他老是拿着淡啤酒照相
but my mate Des saw him drinking Dubonnet.
可我哥们Des有次看到他喝得明明是杜本内
Five...
五
Yes, we're ready.
好 我们准备好了
Please put President Obama through now.
让奥巴马总统接电♥话♥吧
Well, I will put President Putin on the line as soon
好吧 奥巴马总统接了电♥话♥之后
as President Obama is on the line.
我就会立刻让普♥京♥总统接电♥话♥的
Well, my president doesn't like to speak to assistants either.
我们总统也不喜欢和助理说话
Very well, why don't we put both presidents on
好吧 我们就让两位总统
at exactly the same time?
同时接电♥话♥怎么样
That way neither of them has to speak to an assistant.
这样他俩就都不用和助理说话了
Agreed? OK, after three.
同意 好 数三下
One, two, three...
一 二 三
Good day, President Obama.
你好呀 奥巴马总统
President Putin will speak to you in just one second.
普♥京♥总统会马上和你通话
Yes!
赞
Here's your lemon tea. Thank you.
你的柠檬茶 谢谢
God, this referendum's so much harder than the election
天啊 这个全民公♥投♥比选举要难多了
cos if you can't make up your mind, you can't just vote liberal.
因为如果你决定不了是投工党和保守党 你还能直接投给自♥由♥党
You OK, Oliver? No.
你还好吧 Oliver 不好
Watched the debate last night with some old journo mates.
昨天晚上和我的一个记者哥们一起看辩论
We had to down a whisky every time
每次某人说"夺回控制权"
someone said "Take back control"
我们就要喝个威士忌
And a brandy for "As a mother".
说"作为一个母亲"就得喝个白兰地
保守派替任首相提名之一 是特蕾莎梅的竞争对手
安德里亞利德森 脱欧派代表 脱欧演讲中常以"作为一个母亲"开头
I was rat-arsed by the time those three Scottish women came on.
等那三个苏格兰女人进来的时候我已经烂醉如泥了
There was only one Scottish woman. There you go.
只有一个苏格兰女人啊 所以你懂了吧
You know, whenever I see Michael Gove,
每次我看到迈克尔戈夫的时候
he always reminds me of this kid we used to beat up at school.
我都想起来我以前在高中打的那个小孩
Why did you beat him up? He was like Michael Gove.
你为什么要打他 因为他就和迈克尔戈夫很像
Actually, and this isn't a big thing,
好吧 这也不是什么要紧事儿
but jokey references to bullying, even just verbal bullying,
但是就算开玩笑霸凌 哪怕只是口头上
are of themselves a kind of bullying.
都算是某种程度上的霸凌了
But this is about Michael Gove and he's a nutter.
但是这是迈克尔戈夫 他就是个疯子
OK, peacekeepers,
好吧 和平卫士们
we need to be doubly vigilant,
现在特殊情况
given the new respectful atmosphere.
我们更需要提高警惕
OK, there have been a few blips -
自从我们上次迅速地删了那条"放♥尿♥"的推特
we deleted the "Steam off my piss" Tweet very rapidly -
就出现了点不太好的反应
but now we've reached the most dangerous point -
但是我们现在进入了一个危险的时期
the last half-hour of the office party where inhibition is low.
恰如办公室聚会最后半小时大家基本都没有自♥制♥力的时候
What we have to ensure is that no-one does something
我们一定要保证没人做出来
they'll regret in the morning.
他们第二天早上会后悔的事儿
Like breaking into a zoo.
像是闯进一个动物园
Yeah, like...like that sort of thing.
是啊 类似的事儿吧
Can I just say, and this isn't a big thing,
我能说句吗 这也不是什么要紧事儿
but it might be worth reminding people
但是我们应该提醒大家
to avoid trigger words that can make people feel uncomfortable
不要使用让大家觉得不舒服
and might problemise the healing process.
或者影响愈合的敏感词
Sorry, I can tell by the way you're looking at me,
不好意思 但我能感受到你是在指我
I've used a trigger word, haven't I?
我说了什么不该说的 对吧
Yes, you have, Oliver.
是的 没错Oliver
Was it Michael Gove? No, Oliver, it wasn't.
是跟迈克尔戈夫有关的吗 不 不是那个 Oliver
Nutter. It was nutter, wasn't it? Sorry.
疯子 是疯子 对不对 不好意思啊
Nutter! Don't keep saying...
疯子 不要继续说这个词了
neh-uh-tih-tih-rrrr.
疯疯疯疯疯疯疯子
This guy in Vegas who tried to assassinate him,
这个人试图在拉斯维加斯刺杀他
I say we have to ban all British people from entering the USA
我们应该禁止所有的英国人进入美国
until we figure out what the hell is going on.
直到我们搞清楚他们到底出了什么毛病
We are going to Britain in two days' time, Brett, to Scotland.
我们在两天之内就要去英国了 Brett 去苏格兰
No, no, we're going to Turnberry, Mr Trump's golf course.
不不 我们要去坦伯利 特朗普先生的高尔夫度♥假♥区♥
That makes it American soil.
这就代表那是美国领土了
So, has Mr Trump said anything about me, uh...?
特朗普先生说了任何关于我的事儿吗
OK, he passed you without saying, "Go, fella," Right?
哦 他是不是走过你的时候没说 "上吧伙计"
Yeah, yeah, but, you know,
没错 可你也知道
he's probably busy planning his presidency.
他可能是忙着计划他的总统选举呢
You know, how he's going to keep all his promises, like,
你看啊 他要想好怎么遵守他所有的许诺
you know, how he's going to be real unpredictable.
就像是他说他要无比的变幻莫测
Can you plan to be unpredictable?
你能计划得变得变化莫测吗
I don't know, I'm just trying to...
我也不知道 我只能试着去
Or would that make you predictable
但是大家都知道你变化莫测了
if everybody knew you were going to be unpredictable?
那你是不是就再也不算是变化莫测了呢
It makes your brain hurt, doesn't it?
简直是想得脑袋疼 对吧
That's why he's the candidate, not me. Right.
这就是为什么他是候选人而我不是 没错
19 - he's got a face that looks like a character out The Simpsons.
十九 他看起来就像<辛普森一家>里的动画人物
20 he's a banker. You've already...
二十 他是个银行家 你已经说过了
21 - he pronounces his surname in a poncey French way.
二十一 他做作地用法语的发音方式地来念他的姓
What's wrong with FARage?
叫费拉基又怎么了
Have you finished? It needed saying.
你说完了么 总要有人说出来的
OK, so, tonight's event, we need dignity and decorum.
所以今天晚上的这个活动 一定要高大上
Oh, and Preeya,
还有Preeya
if somebody asks you a question that
如果有人问了你一个
you feel is a little bit predictable,
特别意料之中的问题
could you not roll your eyes?
你能不要翻白眼吗
Yeah, like that.
对 就像这样
Should we refer to last night's debate?
我们 是不是应该谈一下昨天晚上的辩论
Oh, that was terrible.
噢 那实在是太糟糕了
Why did we field the same team?
为什么我们用来用去都是那帮人
You know, Boris the show pony, the German one, the other one.
爱出风头的鲍里斯 德国的那个 还有剩下的那个
The dream team would have been Sir Ian "Beefy" Botham,
梦之队应该有性感伊恩博瑟姆
Sir James Dyson, cos he makes Hoovers,
詹姆斯戴森 因为他生产吸尘器
and, of course, Jeremy Clarkson.
最后 当然得有 杰里米克拉克森
Clarkson's Remain.
克拉克森是留欧派的
Says who? Says Jeremy Clarkson.
谁说的 克拉克森自己说的
Gerry, he punched a BBC producer for not bringing him red meat.
Gerry 他因为人家没给他带红肉就把一个BBC制♥作♥人给打了
He's Leave.
他注定要退场(绝对是脱欧的)
And I will put that milk back cos I know you don't like that.
还有我会把牛奶放回去 因为我知道你不喜欢
Getting back to... I've a list of, erm, political loose cannons.
说正事儿 我有一整个我行我素的政客名单
Where is it?
去哪了