权力的猴戏（2016）

even when it's been told by Iain Duncan Smith?
还得一定能让伊恩邓肯史密斯说出来逗大家笑吗
Yes. There's no joke that can survive that.
是啊 根本没有笑话能过他那关
Actually, you know, once you get to know him...
实际上 如果你跟他接触多一点的话
Why would I want to get to know him? He's quite funny.
为什么我想跟他接触多点 他其实是个很有意思的人
He is pretty funny, actually. See?
他这人真的挺有意思的 看吧
Cos he looks like an egg with a mouth.
因为他看起来就像个长了嘴的鸡蛋
Oh, OK, listen up, everybody.
好了 大家都听着
They've just sent through some bullet points for tomorrow.
他们刚刚发来了我们明天活动的重点内容
They want us to focus in on Cameron saying
他们让我们把重点放在卡梅伦说过的
he wants to pave a road from Ankara to Brussels, and...
他想从安卡拉铺条路到布鲁塞尔的话上 而且
Preeya, you've got a question. About tomorrow?
Preeya 你有问题吗 跟明天有关的
Yes. Will he be dressed like that?
是啊 他一定要穿成那样吗
The Union Jack - well, it makes us look a bit...Ukippy.
那件米字旗装 说实话让我们看起来像是英国独♥立♥党的
Look, the thing is, Gerry, it's very difficult
你看啊 Gerry 实际上是这样的
to convince people that you're a sober, serious politician
如果你要跟那家伙坐一起的话
if you're sitting next to
大家很难相信你是一个冷静严肃的政♥治♥家
someone who's come dressed as a street party.
他看起来就像是街头卖♥♥艺的
If it was good enough for John Bull, it's good enough for me.
如果约翰牛能这样穿的话 我凭什么不能这样穿
John Bull is a fictional character. No, he's not!
约翰牛是个虚构角色 不 他不是
I think he was, Spencer.
我觉得他是 Spencer
You'll take this waistcoat from my cold, dead body.
要我脱马甲 除非等我死了
Hope Davis? No.
Hope Davis怎么样 不行
Jennifer Schultz. I think she's banned too.
那Jennifer Schultz呢 我觉得她也被禁了
Really? She's quite pro-Donald,
怎么会 她很支持特朗普的
why is she banned?
为什么她也被禁了
Rex! Why is Jenny Schultz on the banned list?
Rex 为什么Jenny Schultz也被禁了
The nose.
她的鼻子
Oh, yeah, the nose. The nose.
噢 对 她的鼻子
Said it freaked him out.
特朗普说会吓坏他的
Said it followed him around the room.
说那鼻子追着他在屋里跑
You see, it's that sort of response to women that...
看到没 就是这样才会导致女性对
How about Jennifer Lawrence? She's not a journalist.
詹妮弗劳伦斯怎么样 她又不是记者
OK, but if she's just asking some questions,
是啊 但是如果她只需要问一些问题的话
how hard can that be?
这又有什么难度呢
No, he needs to be interviewed by someone -
不行 要采访特朗普的应该是一个
you know, someone more substantial.
嗯 更有群众基础的人
Kim Kardashian. No, Brett.
那就金卡戴珊吧 不行 Brett
No, no, Kim is a big Trump fan.
不是啊 金是个特朗普粉
She said that he's clever and Hillary's dull.
她还说特朗普很聪明希拉里很蠢
That was Kim Jong-un.
那是金正恩说的
Oh, OK!
哦 好吧
But Kim Kardashian - it's a thought.
但是卡戴珊也是个想法啊
It's not a thought. Well...
这不算个想法 呃 这个嘛
Maybe it's a thought.
也算是个想法吧
But here's a different thought.
但是我还有另一个想法
Muhammad Ali's funeral - Mr Trump needs to be there.
拳王阿里的葬礼 特朗普一定要去
Why would Mr Trump want to go there?
为什么他一定要去
Because Bill Clinton is going, and if he has a plus one,
因为克♥林♥顿♥会去 而且他要带家属的话
that means Hillary's going. Not necessarily.
那就说明希拉里也要去 这没必要
This funeral is turning into a Clinton land grab.
这场葬礼快变成克♥林♥顿♥家的非法占地活动了
We need to get our tanks on that lawn.
我们也有必要先下手为强
Maybe don't use the word... Shoot.
也许可以别这么说 该死的
Rex! What did that shaky journalist guy have?
Rex 那个摇摇晃晃的记者有什么毛病来着
The one that Trump mocked. It wasn't Parkinson's, was it?
就是特朗普嘲笑过的那个 好像不是帕金森吧 是吗
A congenital joint condition.
先天性关节炎
Great. Then we are good to go.
太好了 那我们就可以去了
This is the perfect place for Mr Trump to look presidential.
这是帮助特朗普树立总统形象的好时机
Where's it being held? The KFC Yum! Centre.
这个在哪儿举♥行♥ 百胜餐饮集团中心
We need a ticket. Rex!
我们得拿到票 Rex
Any luck on StubHub? We'll pay top dollar.
StubHub上面还有票吗 我们愿意出最高价
Lauren, I need you to get one of your journalist friends
Lauren 我需要你的记者朋友帮忙写点东西
to write a piece on the similarities between Trump and Ali.
就写特朗普和阿里之间的共同点
Both fighters, both winners.
都是斗士 都是赢家
Both had big hands, both had lots of wives.
都有一双大手 都娶过好多老婆
Oh, hey, Ali didn't go to Vietnam either.
哦 你看 阿里也没去过越南
Stop googling, Brett.
不准再谷歌♥了 Brett
Thinking of the future
想想未来
when we're all back on the same side again,
等到公♥投♥结果出来之后我们又团结在一起之后
we did agree to avoid certain words
我们还是要避免用一些词语
when talking about our Brexity brethren...
来形容我们那些支持退欧的兄弟们
"Judas",
"犹大"
"Turncoat", "Traitor",
"变节者" "叛徒"
"Motherfucker"...
"你妈♥逼♥的"
Yeah, I-I-I'm told you did.
嗯嗯 我知道你已经说过了
In a phone call to Michael Gove, preceded by the words, erm...
跟迈克尔戈夫在电♥话♥里说过了 还有下面这些
"Little" And "Specky".
"小蹄子" 和 "死四眼".
Well, no, I'm not disputing its accuracy in any way,
不是 我不是想质疑它的准确性
I'm just trying to keep the peace.
我只是想保持和平
Now, erm, just a different reminder, erm...
呃 还有点事要提醒你
The last thing anyone wants is for someone like you
大家最不想看到的 就是你这样的人
dredging up old stuff about, erm...
一言不合就跑回去翻旧账
Liam Fox and that unfortunate friend of his.
比如利亚姆福克斯和他那倒霉的朋友
涉嫌公权私用为商人朋友Adam Werritty谋利
利亚姆福克斯 英国保守党下议院议员 前英国国防大臣
God, no!
天啊 千万别
Yeah, love to Barbara. See you at Henley.
好了 替我向Barbara问好 我们亨利见
Tony.
Tony
This isn't a big thing,
虽然不是什么大事
but...I'm still wondering if
但是我在想
the United Unit is the best place for all of us.
这个联合单位里有些人究竟适不适合待下去
Well, Sara,
好吧 Sara
we're very lucky to have Oliver.
我们很走运能请到Oliver
He's got the most fantastic, erm...
他有着最好的 呃
address book.
通讯录
I heard that he was fired from The Sun.
我听说他之前被<太阳报>炒了
Oh, that was a long time ago.
那都是很久以前的事了
I think Kelvin MacKenzie found him a bit aggressive,
我猜是Kelvin MacKenzie觉得他太好斗了
but he's really mellowed with age,
但是他随着年龄的增长变成熟了
and the...courses he's had to go on.
而且 当然他不得不继续讨生活
But well done, you, on all of this.
不过你做的这些 都很对
And...
还有
Ruby, why is SHE here?
我们为什么会请Ruby
Oh, we're VERY lucky to have Ruby.
噢 我们能请来Ruby可是撞大运
The way she brings that fantastic youthful energy.
你看她带来那么多年轻人的活力
And her father is...
而且她爸是
Yeah, a very large party donor.
嗯 非常重要的党派赞助人
Oliver - the poster. We can't be seen to be biased.
Oliver 那个海报 我们可不能被人说偏向某一方
Mick Hucknall's having a go at Corbyn
Mick Hucknall在攻击工党领袖科尔宾
for not fighting hard enough for Remain.
说他作为留欧派还不够全力以赴
Scrubby talentless has-been.
穷酸又没用的过气人物
Which one of them do you mean?
你是在说哪一个
Well... Either.
呃 其中一个
Ring, ring! Ring, ring!
叮铃铃 叮铃铃
Better. Better.
好点儿了 好点儿了
Now, some basic dos and don'ts.
现在给你讲些基本的注意事项
Don't cough or sneeze in his presence,
在他面前不可以咳嗽或者打喷嚏
don't attempt any small talk and, erm...
不要企图跟他唠家常 还有 呃
if he asks you to wrestle him,
如果他让你跟他摔跤
just make an excuse -
你就找个借口推辞
say that you have a hernia or something.
说你疝气了或是怎么的
Ok.
好的
No, I mean, all this scaremongering is absurd.
不 这些散布谣言的人真是荒唐
I mean, the economy will not collapse if we leave the EU.
脱欧以后我们的经济不会垮掉的
But...I would like to put my house on the market.
但是 我想要把房♥子给卖♥♥了
Looks like the deadline for voter registration's been extended.
貌似选民登记的截止日期延长了
That's a shame, cos I don't think WE lost out on any new votes.
真可惜 我想我们不会输掉这些新选票
Eh?
怎么
No, well, the site crashed after ten at night.
不是啦 因为网站晚上十点以后就关闭了
All our lot will have been in bed.
我方选民都已经上♥床♥睡觉了
And if it's all the same... I'd rather not be paid in sterling.
如果都一样的话 那我还是不接受英镑付款吧
See your mate Mr Corbyn's gone very quiet.
我看到你的老朋友科尔宾变安静了