糟糕历史：油炸叔精选版（2011）

which was meant to be escape-proof.
事实上 由科尔迪兹越狱的囚犯数量
In fact, there were more escapes from Colditz
是所有战俘营中最多的
than any other prisoner of war camp.
囚犯们与德国士兵们达成了一项君子协定
The prisoners had a gentleman's agreement with the Germans
他们承诺在逃脱行动中
wherein they promised not to make use of equipment given
不使用发配给他们的园艺工具
to them for gardening and so on during their escape attempts,
只使用他们偷运进来的装备
but only to use kit they had smuggled in.
可惜德国士兵们拒绝相信盟军的说辞
Sadly, the Germans refused to believe the allied assertion
他们不信梯子蛋糕和钢锯三明治
that ladder cake and hacksaw sandwiches
都只是英国的传统美食
were both traditional English delicacies.
卑劣的斯图亚特王朝
众所周知 11月5日 盖伊·福克斯
Everyone knows that Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament
试图炸毁议会大厦
on November 5th.
但你是否知道
But did you know that
他只是一个庞大组织中的一枚棋子
he was just one member of a much bigger gang?
事实上一共有十三个同伙
In fact, there were 13 of them altogether.
快招了吧 福克斯
Come on, Fawkes.
你不可能一个人完成这件事
You couldn't have done this alone.
还有谁是你的同伙
Who was in your gang?
我死也不会告诉你
I'll never tell you
咱们走着瞧
We'll see about that!
-怎么了 -怎么
- What? - What?
你不准笑 只有我才能笑
You don't laugh, I laugh.
福克斯之十三罗汉
这阴谋你绝对意想不到
It was the plot that seemed unthinkable.
福克斯是炸♥弹♥专家
我们要在议会开幕仪式上
We're going to blow up King James and his entire family
炸掉詹姆士国王他全家
at the State Opening of Parliament?
-没错 -事出有因还是纯属找乐子
- That's right. - Any reason, or just for fun?
约翰·莱特是说客
因为我俩都信奉天主教
Because you're Catholic and I'm Catholic
而国王讨厌天主教♥徒♥
and the King hates Catholics.
他好像总以为我们在密谋些什么
He seems to think we're always plotting something.
正合他意
As if!
这阴谋听起来简直天方夜谭
It was the plot that sounded impossible.
罗伯特·卡茨比是组织筹划者
所以说 我们只需
So we're just supposed to
顺着泰晤士河运走36桶火♥药♥
roll 36 barrels of gunpowder down the Thames
把它们偷运进这间租来的地窖
sneak it into this rented cellar
等待议会开幕
wait for Parliament to open
接着我悄悄溜进去 点燃导火索
then I creep back in, light the fuse,
在炸死国王之前逃跑
run away, blow up the King
还不能被人抓到
and all without getting caught?
这便是实际计划
没错
Yes.
好吧
OK.
只想确认我没听错
Just checking I had that right.
这计划注定会出错
It was the plot that would surely go wrong.
我劝说了12个伙计加入我们
So I've persuaded 12 guys altogether.
人手应该够了 你们觉得如何
That ought to do it, don't you think?
你们觉得我们该不该再加一个
Do you think we need one more?
-无妨 -让我再找一个来
- Couldn't hurt. - I'll get one more.
打扰了
Excuse me.
要不要和我们一起炸毁议会大厦
Would you like to be in a plot to blow up Parliament?
当然 何乐而不为 让我先查查日程
Oh, yes, why not? I'll just check my diary.
你们计划哪天开工
When were you thinking?
11月5日
November 5th.
可以 我有空
Yes, I'm free.
妙极了 加在一起共13人
Fabulous. That's 13, then.
13这数字貌似有点不吉利吧
Isn't 13 an unlucky number?
别担心 事情必将顺利无误
Don't worry, I'm sure it will go off without a hitch.
弗朗西斯·特瑞山姆就是那个白♥痴♥
等等
Hang on
我小舅子11月5日要去议会大厦
my brother-in-law is due in Parliament on November 5th.
我这就飞鸽传书
I'll just send him a quick letter
让他那天请个假
telling him to take the day off.
他肯定不会告诉别人的
I'm sure he won't tell anyone.
这次密谋...
It was the plot
三 二 一
Three, two, one...
以失败告终
That went wrong.
非常 非常严重的惨败
Horribly, horribly wrong.
福克斯之十三罗汉
什么信 哪个白♥痴♥送了封信
What letter? What idiot sends a letter?
苍天啊
Oh, no!
1605年11月5日 引爆任务失败
Failing to explod on November 5, 1605.
你将被绞死 掏腹 分尸
You're going to be hung, drawn and quartered.
-内脏掏光 -当然
- Gutted! - You will be.
盖伊·福克斯因叛国罪被凌迟处死
Guy Fawkes was hung, drawn and quartered for treason.
然而史学家们对于
But there is some dispute among historians
具体刑罚内容也有所争论
over what exactly the "drawn" Element means.
该词可以表示开膛
"Drawn" Could be disembowelling
也可能意为被绑在马尾上拖着走
or it could mean being drawn behind a horse.
谢天谢地 这种酷刑
Thankfully, such punishments
在世界使用十进制很久以前就已消失
died out long before the world went decimal,
幸而我们不必目睹某人
saving us from the confusing spectacle
被残忍♥地绞死 剖腹和分尸的混乱场面
of seeing someone being cruelly hung, drawn and 0.25'd.
詹姆士的儿子 查理一世
James' son, Charles I,
也十分爱好实施酷刑
was just as keen on grisly punishments.
威尔 威尔·普林 你怎么了
Will? Will Prynne? What happened to you?
抱歉 我听不见你说什么
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
查理一世国王因为我说了剧院的坏话
King Charles I had my ears cut off
而把我的耳朵给割了
for being rude about the theatre.
查理一世确实命人割了威尔·普林的耳朵
-请再说一遍 -什么 -我听不见
- Pardon? - What? - I can't hear you.
我耳朵被割了
I had my ears cut off
因为我写了一本冒犯政♥府♥的书
for writing a book that upset the government.
-对不起 你说什么 -什么
- I'm sorry, what? - I'm sorry?
我说 国王在几年前
I said the king had my ears cut off
因为我说剧院的坏话而把我的耳朵给割了
a few years ago for being rude about the theatre.
我有天又对某个主教指指点点
And when I was rude about some bishops the other day,
于是他又在我脸颊上打了烙印
he had me branded on the cheek, too.
普林确实被打上了烙印
看上去好恶心 是怎么弄上去
Ooh, that looks nasty! How did you get that?
什么
Pardon?
-抱歉 -什么
-I'm sorry? - What?
听着 我听不见你说什么
Listen, I can't hear you.
我的耳朵被钉在一根木头上
I had my ears nailed to a piece of wood,
然后被割下来了 还留在那儿呢
then cut off and left there.
斯图亚特王朝确实存在这种刑罚
-说啥 -啥
- Pardon? - Pardon?
再说一遍
Come again?
因为我写了一本让政♥府♥不满的书
For writing a book the government didn't like.
如果你想的话 我能给你看看
I'll show you if you like.
-还有一只耳朵留在那儿呢 -快看
- You can still see one over there. - Look!
那根木杆上还钉着一只耳朵
There is an ear nailed to a post.
-啥 -它是怎么上去的
- Pardon? - I wonder how it got there?
-抱歉 -一只耳朵
- I'm sorry? - An ear.
-什么 -等等 我有办法了
- What? - Hold on, I've got an idea.
你现在听得到吗
Can you hear me now?
和它说话可没什么用
It's no good talking to him,
它就跟木杆一样是聋的
he's as deaf as a post!
什么
Sorry?
-我在开玩笑 -什么
- I made a joke. - Pardon?
-说什么 -啥
- I'm sorry? - What?
再说一遍
Come again?
奇怪的家伙
Strange man.
怪人一个
What a weirdo.
凶残的维京人
我们从维京人那里学到的词汇
砰
摧毁
逃啊
打碎
下流
冷酷无情
欢迎
欢迎吗 怎么可能
What, really? Welcome?
不会产生误会什么的吗
You don't think we're giving out mixed messages?
真是令人♥大♥吃一惊啊
Staggering, isn't it?
"大吃一惊"也是维京人创造的
Which, of course, is another Viking word.
在维京人入侵英国之前