糟糕历史：油炸叔精选版（2011）

If you try and run, you'll be killed."
好吧 谢谢你 我感觉好多了
Yes, thank you, that's making me feel so much better.
你不会有事的
Yeah, but it's fine, isn't it.
因为你还没收到黑券呢
because you haven't received the black spot.
的确还没收到 但我现在暴露了
Not yet, but now I'm out in the open,
随时都有可能收到
it could happen at any moment.
-黑券 这是黑券 -不 不是的
- The black spot! It's the black spot! - No, no, no. No, no.
我之前在列购物清单 然后羽毛笔坏了
I was writing my shopping list earlier and my quill pen broke
-墨水洒在上面了 -好吧
- and I spilt some ink. - Right.
天啊 这倒让我松了口气
Well, my goodness, that's a relief.
有那么一瞬间 我还以为 黑券
Cos for a moment, I did think... The black spot!
-这是黑券 -不 不是
- It's the black spot! - No, no,
不是的 我晚餐吃的是汁淋墨鱼
no. I was having squid in ink for my dinner
估计溅了一点在我的袖子上
and a bit must have splashed on my sleeve.
好吧 我还以为是 黑券 是黑券
Right. I thought that was... The black spot! The black spot!
短刀 这是痣婆温蒂
Daggers, Daggers, that's Warty Wendy.
天生就长了这颗痣
She was born like that.
她还长了另一颗
She's got another one...
黑券 这是黑券
It's the black spot! It's the black spot!
是黑券 是黑券
It's the black spot! It's the black spot!
-他一时半会是好不了了 -这是黑券
- This could take some time. - It's the black spot!
-这是黑券 -短刀 冷静点
- It's the black spot! - Daggers, calm down.
听着 你不会被杀死的
Look, you're not going to get killed
除非你收到了一个上面带着黑点的信条
unless you receive a note with the black spot on it.
而且我觉得 要是有人想干掉你的话
And I think if that was gonna happen,
你现在应该已经收到黑券了
it would've happened by now.
说得也对 我放心多了 谢谢你 伙计
I suppose you're right. Thanks for setting me straight, mate.
那先这样 我该走了
Anyway, best be off.
晚安 短刀
Night, Daggers.
好吧 无知是福
Well, what he doesn't know can't hurt him.
我错了
I stand corrected.
现在很多历史学家都认为
Well, many historians now believe
黑券是罗伯特·路易斯·史蒂芬森
that the black spot was probably a literary invention
在小说《金银岛》中虚构出来的
by Robert Louis Stevenson, author of Treasure Island,
不过真♥相♥究竟如何 我们也不知道
although we'll never know for sure.
说实话
Honestly,
这些小说家真是谎话连篇
these fiction writers and their filthy lies.
不过一件事可以确定 那就是黑胡子船长
One thing we do know for sure was that Captain Blackbeard
是公海上最臭名昭著的海盗
was the vilest pirate on the high seas.
拉丁美洲北部海域地图
当我还是个小孩 我上了一艘帆船*
*When I was a nipper I boarded a clipper
作为进口商到处航海*
*Sailed the seas as a goods importer, oh
我名叫爱德华·蒂奇*
*Edward Teach is my name
却又得了个别名*
*but I earned my fame
那就是水域神盗黑胡子*
*As Blackbeard, the pirate of the water, oh
我曾是戴高帽的好小伙*
*Was a jolly chap with a jaunty cap
总给船员大大分上一杯羹*
*Always gave my crew good quarter, oh
但我最出名的还是血腥勇气和残暴*
*But I'm best known for blood and guts and gore
还有被杀戮充斥的暴♥政♥*
*And a vicious reign of murdering and slaughter, oh
最出名的还是血腥勇气和残暴*
*Best known for blood and guts and gore
还有被杀戮充斥的暴♥政♥*
*And a vicious reign of murdering and slaughter, oh
带着枪剑 离开了布里斯托尔老家*
*Left my home in Bristol with a sword and pistol
带着温情与英国本土辞别*
*Bid a fond farewell to old Blighty, oh
敌人最怕我又黑又粗的胡子*
*What my enemies feared was my thick black beard
而我最喜欢在上面点火*
*Which I always enjoyed setting light to, oh
有一次我看上了俘虏那迷人的指环*
*Once I had a thing for a captive's lovely ring
闪耀得像是夜里的宝石*
*That shone like a jewel in the night, ee-oh
他对我说"不" 我只说了声"噢"*
*When the man said no, I just said, "Oh!"
然后剁了他的手 一切搞定了*
*And I chopped off his hand and said righty-oh
那人说"不" 他说了"噢"*
*Man said no, he said oh
剁了他的手 一切搞定了*
*Chopped off his hand and said righty-oh
我爱在海上航行*
*Oh, I loved to sail the ocean
伴随振奋精神的海盗旗*
*With my flag that inspired emotion
伴随喜气洋洋的骷髅架*
*With its smiling pile of skull and bones
快准狠地戳烂别人的心脏*
*Smashing hearts with a violent stabbing motion
而我总爱逃避侦查*
*And I loved to escape detection
从而得到船员的感情*
*And to win my crew's affection
这与他携带的十二支枪无关*
*Which was nothing to do with the 12 guns he wore
和他自保用的皮带*
*On his belt that were for protection
我心眼非常好 脾气却挺怪*
*I was awfully nice but I had the odd vice
时不时就闹个小暴♥乱♥*
*Which occasionally caused a commotion
那就是我以枪毙船员为乐*
*The thing that I'd do was shoot members of my crew
如果他们不够忠诚*
*If they didn't show enough devotion
有空他就以枪毙船员为乐*
*The thing he'd do was shoot members of the crew
如果他们不够忠诚*
*If they didn't show enough devotion
有次我很愤怒 杀了我的大副*
*Once when very irate, I shot my first mate
伊斯莱尔·汉兹 只是为了取乐*
*Israel Hands, for a bit of pleasure, oh
当我欠债渐多 我杀了一半的船员*
*And when my debts grew, killed half my crew
这样就能独享更多的财宝*
*To increase my share of the treasure, oh
原本还挺好 却发现人手不够了*
*Was doing well then seemed to run out of men
搜捕我的人从容地登上船*
*My captors boarded at their leisure, oh
打死我 又砍了我脑袋*
*Smote me dead then cut off my head
然后在桅杆上挂了好久*
*And displayed it on my mast for good measure, oh
打死他 又砍了他脑袋*
*Smote him dead, chopped off his head
然后在桅杆上挂了好久*
*Displayed it on the mast for good measure, oh
我们的节目已经临近尾声了
So, we trundle to the tail-end of time
让我们以奥斯卡·王尔德的一句话作为结尾
and I leave you with the final words of the great Oscar Wilde.
"我与壁纸展开了殊死搏斗
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death.
不是我死 就是它亡"
One or other of us has to go."
带着这句话 我们下次见
With that, goodbye.
夸张故事 残暴行为*
*Tall tales, atrocious acts,
我们有最吓人的真♥相♥*
*we gave you all the fearsome facts
真♥相♥丑陋 不加修饰*
*The ugly truth, no glam or glitz,
原汁原味给你看*
*we showed you all the juicy bits
血腥 糟糕 残忍♥ 卑鄙*
*Gory, ghastly, cruel and mean
井喷在你屏幕上*
*Bursting out your TV screen
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
但愿你喜欢糟糕历史*
*Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories