糟糕历史：油炸叔精选版（2011）

-好 那去剧院怎样 -守卫
- Fine. Fine. Why don't we all go to the theatre? - Guards!
让我猜猜 被禁了吗
Let me guess, banned?
是的 这是罪恶的
Yes. It's sinful!
好吧
All right. All right.
那就去公园里狂欢一下吧
Why don't we go and have a festive kick about in the park?
-守卫 -你不能禁体育吧 那是
- Guards! - Oh, what. You can't ban sport it's...
罪恶的
Sinful!
你们必须理解 这些无意义的活动
You have to understand, these frivolous events
对清教♥徒♥信奉基♥督♥产生了干扰
distract us Puritans from our devotion to Christ.
我们得干点什么啊 露西都打扮好了
We have to do something, Lucy's all made-up.
-用化妆品吗 -是的
- With make-up? - Yes
-守卫 -又来了
- Guards! - Oh, come on!
化妆品是罪恶的
Make-up is sinful!
尤其是那眼影配上你这上衣
Especially that eye shadow with that top.
-怎么了 -没什么
- What? - Nothing.
等会儿 我知道了 咱们去教堂吧
Wait a minute. I've got it! Why don't we go to church?
-教堂不是罪恶的吧 -不 当然不是
- Church isn't sinful, is it? - No. Of course not.
那就一起去教堂吧
Well then, let's all go to church!
守卫 把他们抓起来
Guard! Seize them.
圣诞节当天去教堂是违法的
It's against the law to go to church on Christmas Day.
把这些罪人关起来
Take these sinners to prison!
-什么 我们... -等会儿
- What, what? We... - Wait.
怎么了
Yes?
圣诞快乐
Happy Christmas.
现在把他们锁起来 然后把钥匙扔了
Now lock 'em up and throw away the key!
奥利弗·克伦威尔去世后
After Oliver Cromwell's death,
他的儿子理查德接管了大局
his son, Richard, took over
但是他就是个...废物
but he turned out to be...useless.
因此在众人的建议下 君主制复辟了
So by popular request, the monarchy was restored.
当然 国内还有许多清教♥徒♥
Of course, there were still plenty of Puritans in the country,
尤其是在诺福克 他们不是很高兴
particularly in Norfolk, who weren't very happy,
但是 清教♥徒♥没开心的时候
but then, that's Puritans for you.
诺福克就没开心的时候
And that's Norfolk for you.
历史版
交换女主人
这是悲催夫妇
This is Mr and Mrs Miserable,
虔诚的诺威奇清教♥徒♥家庭
the deeply religious, Puritan family from Norwich.
他们交换女主人的对象是 欢乐夫妇
And they're doing a Wife Swap with...Mr and Mrs Merry,
一个喜欢狂欢的伦敦复辟家庭
the party-mad, Restoration family from London.
清教♥徒♥家庭想要禁止派对
The Puritan family want to ban parties
而复辟家庭想要时时刻刻都狂欢
and the Restoration family want to party all the time!
他们会相处得怎样呢
I wonder how they'll get on?
历史版
交换女主人
你好 很高兴见到你
Oh, hi, hi, hello! Pleased to meet you.
我是欢乐先生 叫我杰米吧 你是
I'm Mr Merry. Call me Jamie. And you are?
悲催夫人
Mrs Miserable.
你肯定有名字吧 我们这里很随意的
Surely you have a first name? We're very informal here.
确实有 叫为善而战·为信仰而战
Yes, I do, it's Fight The Good Fight Of Faith,
好听的清教♥徒♥名字
a wholesome Puritan name.
那还是叫悲催夫人吧
Mrs Miserable it is, then.
在清教♥徒♥家里
So, did things get off
会不会有个更好的开端呢
to a better start in the Puritan household?
你好 我是欢乐夫人 珍妮·欢乐
How do you do? I'm Mrs Merry, Jeanie Merry.
-你就是悲催先生吧 -是的
- You must be Mr Miserable. - Yes.
那我们互相了解一下吧
Well, let's get to know each other a bit better.
我刚刚在一个
I've just got my first part
复辟时期喜剧里获得了一个角色
as an actress in a Restoration comedy.
表演是罪恶的
Acting is sinful.
你应该被鞭笞 然后带上足枷
You should be whipped and put in the stocks.
好吧 目前为止还不错
OK. So far so good.
这真是糟糕的时代
Truly these are terrible times.
我不敢想象在清教♥徒♥把戏剧禁掉以后
I can't believe they brought back theatre
现在又开始演出了
after we Puritans banned it!
接下来 他们就要恢复圣诞节了
Next thing you know, they'll be bringing back...Christmas!
你好啊 多可爱的宝宝 她叫什么
Oh, hello! What an adorable baby. What's her name?
寂静
Silence.
不 她的名字叫寂静
No, Silence is her name.
我懂了 抱歉
Oh, I see. Sorry, sorry.
她全名叫寂静·纪律·查看圣经
Her full name is Silence Discipline Search The Scriptures.
是我丈夫起的
My husband chose it.
你肯定不会给她取这么阴郁的名字
Obviously, you would have chosen something a bit less gloomy.
是的 我想叫她
Yes, I wanted to call her,
耶稣之未卒·汝为天所咒
If Christ Had Not Died Thou Has Been Damned.
-那简直荒诞极了 -跟我妈名字一样
- Ha-ha, would be ridiculous! - After my mother.
或许我以后要少说点话了
Perhaps silence is the way forward.
真是个糟糕 不虔诚的人
What a terrible, ungodly man.
自从议会决定恢复君主制
Since Parliament decided to restore the monarchy,
英格兰就不成体统了
England has gone to wrack and ruin!
悲催夫人要放松一下
Mrs Mis just needs to lighten up a bit,
补上她错过的乐趣
catch up on all the fun she's missed.
奥利弗·克伦威尔已经死了
Oliver Cromwell's dead,
清教主义已成历史
Puritanism is history.
查理二世万岁 复辟来了
Hooray for Charles II! The Restoration's here.
尽情狂欢吧
Party on!
欢乐夫人那里进展得也不顺利
Things aren't going much better for Mrs Merry.
-抱歉 这是什么 -晚饭
- Sorry, what's this? - Dinner.
欢乐先生为他的客人举办了一个派对
Mr Merry has laid on a party for his honoured guest.
不喜欢这音乐吗 悲催夫人
Not enjoying the music, Mrs Mis?
音乐是罪恶的
Music is sinful.
那你应该不想跳舞吧
Don't suppose you fancy a dance, then?
跳舞是罪恶的
Dancing is sinful.
至少让我给你拿杯酒吧
But at least let me get you a drink.
-喝酒是罪恶的 -很显然
- Drinking is sinful. - Obviously.
清教♥徒♥以何种方式享乐呢
What do you Puritans do for fun, then?
享乐是罪恶的
Fun is sinful.
该到清教♥徒♥家庭和复辟家庭
It's time for the Puritan family and the Restoration family
处理分歧的时间了
to settle their differences.
见鬼吧查理二世 我诅咒你的君主制
Oh, King Charles II be damned! A curse on your restored monarchy!
是啊 诅咒你那所谓的复辟
Yeah. A curse on your so-called Restoration.
你们罪恶的生活方式让人厌恶
Your sinful ways are an abomination.
那种罪恶的人就应该在地狱里被烧死
And those that sin shall burn in hell!
你们喜欢指责别人 是吧
You like telling people off, don't you?
是的
Well, yes, we do.
因为那个很有趣 是不是
And that was fun, wasn't it?
-是的 -貌似是的
- Yes. - Yeah, I suppose.
我突然想起来 享乐难道不是罪恶的吗
And just remind me, isn't fun sinful, hmm?
你个罪恶的恶毒女人
You sinful Jezebel!
你会在地狱里被烧死
Well, you're going to burn in hell.
在我们这条从古至今的危险朝圣之路
As we approach the finishing post of our perilous pilgrimage
即将走到尽头之时
from the past to the present,
让我以宾馆巨头康拉德·希尔顿的话收尾
I'll leave the final words to famous hotel owner, Conrad Hilton,
当他临终之时被问到有没有想
who, when asked if he had any worldly wisdom to impart
留给世人的忠告 他说
on his deathbed, said...
"把浴帘放在浴缸内"
"Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub."
我们下期节目再见
With that, goodbye.
夸张故事 残暴行为*
*Tall tales, atrocious acts
我们有最吓人的真♥相♥*
*We gave you all the fearsome facts
真♥相♥丑陋 不加修饰*
*The ugly truth, no glam or glitz
原汁原味给你看*
*we showed you all the juicy bits
血腥 糟糕 残忍♥ 卑鄙*
*Gory, ghastly, cruel and mean
井喷在你屏幕上*
*Bursting out your TV screen
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
但愿你喜欢糟糕历史*
*Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories