糟糕历史：油炸叔精选版（2011）

都变为"夷平"公♥寓♥的地主
quite literally into a flat.
在乔治王时代横行霸道的
But bad behaviour in the Georgian period
还不止成年人
wasn't just limited to rich adults.
参观过程中
If you have any questions
有任何问题
while I'm showing you around the school,
尽管问我
please don't hesitate to ask.
谢谢您 校长
Thank you, headmaster.
塞缪尔入学会很难吗
How hard will it be for Samuel to get in?
考核很简单
The examination is perfectly straightforward.
我们会审核你的银行账户
We examine your bank account,
钱足够多就能入学了
if you've got enough money, you're in.
您对纪律怎么看
What is your attitude to discipline?
遵守纪律在我们学校很重要
Discipline is very important at this school.
真希望我们的学生能守纪律
We really, really wish we had some!
别往中庭扔石头
Do not throw stones in the quadrangle!
不许向校长开枪
Do not fire pistols at the headmaster!
请各位往这边走
If you'd just like to walk this way.
1793年 温彻斯特的学生在学校开枪
我们还是跑吧
On second thoughts, run!
-怎么回事 -大家有点激动罢了
- What's going on? - Just a little high spirits.
一定是两节化学连堂了
Must be double chemistry!
-谁开的枪 谁扔的石头 -不清楚
- Who's firing pistols? Who's throwing stones? - Not sure.
大概是5B班
I think it's class 5B.
-是学生 -是 就是学生的小暴♥乱♥
- Schoolboys!? - Yes, just a little pupil rebellion.
-暴♥乱♥ -没什么好大惊小怪的
- Rebellion?! - Nothing out of the ordinary,
好学校全都这样
all the best schools have them.
那边那位 没错 说的就是你
You there! Yes, I'm looking at you!
-你迟到了 -抱歉 先生
- You're late! - Sorry, sir.
你这岁数不是学生吧
You're a bit old to be a pupil.
你是老师吗
Are you a teacher?
不 我是英国陆军的沃里克上校
No, no, Colonel Warwick, British Army.
学生暴♥乱♥失控时 校长总是叫我们来的
Headmaster always calls us in when a rebellion gets out of hand.
1818年 军队被召到温彻斯特学校
他们违反了好几条校规
They've broken several school rules,
-我觉得这次你得上刺刀了 -好的先生
- I think this time you may need bayonets. - Yes, sir.
上刺刀
Fix bayonets!
祝你好运 上校
Good luck, Colonel!
好了 我受够了
Right, that's quite enough of that!
所有人 到办公室去见我
All of you, see me in my office!
校长办公室 敲门后请等待
想去图书馆看看的请举手
So, hands up if you'd like to see the library.
好啊
Yes, please.
举双手 要是我们投降了
Both hands, if we surrender,
没准他们能让我们安全通过中庭
they might let us across without firing.
我的腿
Ow, my leg!
算了 我还是带你去见护士长吧
On second thoughts, why don't I introduce you to matron?!
腐朽古罗马
不靠谱武器第79号♥
罗马人侵略英国时
When the Romans invaded Britain,
在东英吉利遇到了麻烦
they had a bit of a problem in East Anglia.
他们发现那里全是潮湿的沼泽
The land they found there was wet and marshy.
特别特别潮湿的沼泽
Very, very wet, and very, very marshy.
但一位罗马将军有了好主意
But then one Roman general had a bright idea.
我们踩高跷吧
Why don't we use stilts?
他的计划很成功
His plan worked brilliantly,
高跷能让罗马士兵保持干燥
the stilts stopped the Romans getting wet.
但有个小问题
But, there was one small problem.
凯尔特人发现踩着高跷的罗马人
The Celts worked out that the Romans on stilts
很容易被打倒
were very easy to knock over.
罗马人像多米诺骨牌般倒下
The Romans fell like dominoes,
凯尔特人很快就把他们打败了
and the Celts swiftly finished them off.
我们还是回去玩绘图板吧
Oh well, guess it's back to the drawing tablet.
快跑
And quickly.
别回来了
And don't come back!
泥泞的东英吉利沼泽
The boggy marshes of the East Anglia
有点像意大利的蓬蒂内沼泽
were similar to the Pontine Marshes in Italy,
高跷战术在蓬蒂内沼泽很管用
where the stilts had been extensively tested.
但罗马人忘了考虑
Only the Romans hadn't taken into account
在英国有个很关键的不同之处
the crucial difference in Britain,
当地人没那么友好
namely the not-so-friendly locals.
不战而降不要想 手起刀落不犹豫*
*Gonna cause a stink. Won't be the first to blink
别想当然 莫耍花招 老娘名叫布狄卡*
*I'm not who you think. Don't mess with me, I'm Boudicca
老公普拉苏塔古斯 死前凯尔特国王*
*My husband Prasutagus died. He was a Celtic king
王后就是我 什么都有我半份*
*I was his queen so due to me was half of everything
罗马法律说 国土我们对半分*
*Roman law gave half to me so half was what they got
结果他们派兵来要夺我的地*
*Till their nasty soldiers came and took the blessed lot
听着 先生 你可惹错人了*
*Hey, Mister, I say you got the wrong end of the stick
罗马人的回答让小妞变身泼妇*
*His answer turned this sister into one angry chick
罗马来的爷们 休想摆布这娘们*
*No, man, Roman. Don't push around this woman
布狄卡不是你好惹的*
*You won't get far with Boudicca
弓箭手军士们 一起打败罗马人*
*Bowman, yeoman. Smash the Roman foe, man
跟我说 唷 唷*
*All say, "Yah," Yah
布狄卡*
*Boudicca!
召集强大军力 直奔城市杀去*
*I built a massive army headed straight for the city
轻而易举得胜利 场面可不如我秀丽*
*Beat them all with ease unlike me it wasn't pretty
左劈右砍令他们 一腔热血都冷却*
*Chopped 'em and hacked but what made their red blood curl
打了败仗就够糟 还败在娘们手下*
*It's bad enough being beaten but beaten by a girl?
横冲直撞把他们 打得屁滚又尿流*
*Whacked 'em, smacked 'em. Boy, how we attacked 'em
四面八方来围攻*
*Near and far, ha ha ha
鞭笞示众再残杀 虐得颜面都尽失*
*Flay them, slay them, up-and-down parade 'em
布狄卡最难搞*
*Boudicca, toughest by far
科切斯特到伦敦 还有圣奥尔本斯*
*Colchester, London, St Albans
一路消息都在说 罗马人都死翘翘*
*Everybody talk about dead Romans
那天我们正走在 沃特灵罗马大道上*
*We marched on up the Roman road that's known as Watling Street
我们被困树林中 终于被打败*
*They trapped us in the forest then thrashed us to our defeat
大概你也猜得到*
*By now you've guessed
我不会坐以待毙 更不会哭哭啼啼*
*I'm not the kind of girl who'll sit and cry
卖♥♥去罗马做奴隶 还不如一死了之*
*Be sold a slave to Romans? You know I'd rather die
罗马士兵想抓我 我就假装配合*
*They tried to take me prisoner so I led the Roman boys on
其实我却偷偷地 吞了一瓶毒药*
*Instead of giving in to them I swallowed special poison
聪明逃脱 殉道而死 绝不要被捕*
*Martyr, smarter capture a non-starter
这就是我们 最后的胜利*
*This was our last hurrah
尽管生灵涂炭 部落永存史册*
*Slaughtered, dismembered, our tribe always remembered
布狄卡 大明星*
*Boudicca, superstar
布狄卡 大明星*
*Boudicca. Superstar
别想糊弄这小妞
Don't diss this miss.
昔日的血腥
Well, that's it for this glimpse
我们今天就看到这里
of the goriest bits of the days gone by.
结束语就留给
The final words
墨西哥革命领袖弗朗西斯哥·潘乔·微拉
go to Mexican revolutionary Francisco "Pancho" Villa,
他在临死前说
whose deathbed declaration was,
别就这样结束了
"Don't let it end like this,
告诉世人我留有遗言的
tell them I said something!"
我们下期节目再见
With that, goodbye.
夸张故事 残暴行为*
*Tall tales, atrocious acts
我们有最吓人的真♥相♥*
*we gave you all the fearsome facts
真♥相♥丑陋 不加修饰*
*The ugly truth, no glam or glitz
原汁原味给你看*
*we showed you all the juicy bits
血腥 糟糕 残忍♥ 卑鄙*
*Gory, ghastly, cruel and mean
井喷在你屏幕上*
*Bursting out your TV screen
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
但愿你喜欢糟糕历史*
*Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories