糟糕历史：油炸叔精选版（2011）

恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights
昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights
恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description
凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless
穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless
绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages
血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we supply
且听油炸叔对你说*
*And your host is Stephen Fry
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
欢迎收看*
*Welcome to
糟糕历史
油炸叔精选版 第三集
大家好 欢迎收看《糟糕历史》
Hello! Welcome to Horrible Histories,
这里有最引人入胜的史实
the show where the most fascinating facts the past has to offer
经过叛逆傻小子们的演绎
are served up with hot mustard
猛料迭出 劲爆刺♥激♥
by our rebellious rebel of highly silly sausages.
华丽的乔治王朝
乔治三世常年饱受病痛所困
King George III suffered a long illness
但直到81岁才去世
but didn't die until he was 81,
这意味着他的儿子
meaning his son
望穿秋水才盼来登基之日
had an awfully long wait to take the throne.
乔治 你怎么做到的
Oh, George, how do you do it?
你怎么能如此光彩照人
How do you look so fabulous?
乔治 你简直太棒了
George, you are worth it!
殿下 我有个坏消息
Your Highness, I have some dreadful news.
是不是假发不再流行了
Powdered wigs aren't coming back,are they?
恐怕比这严重多了
It's far graver news than that I'm afraid.
殿下 我必须告诉您 您父亲病逝了
Sir, I must tell you, your father is dead.
太棒了 登基啦
Yes! Get in!
登基啦
Get in! Uh!
殿下 我想您可能听错了
Sir, I think you may have misheard me.
老爹死翘翘 老爹死翘翘
Dad's dead! Dad's dead!
我的天哪 我是国王
Oh, gosh! I'm king!
您还没登基 不过殿下 您不该伤心吗
Ah. You didn't. But, sir, shouldn't you be...upset?
伤心 我都快60岁了
Upset? I'm nearly 60 years old.
虽然看起来很年轻
I know I don't look it.
-你能这么说很好 -我没打算说...
- It's very good of you to say. - I wasn't going to...
我做了将近60年默默无闻的王子殿下
I've been a bog-standard prince for nearly 60 years!
我等他翘辫子等了快60年
Nearly 60 years I've been waiting for him to kick the bucket!
没错 但是殿下
Yes, but sir,
我想奉劝您
I have to advise you
您的臣民认为您会很悲伤
that your subjects will expect you to be grief-stricken.
泪流满面
In floods of tears.
泪流满面 这明明比圣诞节还棒啊
Tears? This is better than Christmas!
乔治 你听说了吗
George! Have you heard the news?
-那当然 -恭恭恭祝陛下
- You bet I have! - Congratu-very-lations, Your Majesty!
陛下
My Majesty.
-陛下 -陛下
- Your Majesty! - My Majesty.
-陛下 -行了
- Your Majesty! - All right.
殿下 您确定连一滴眼泪都挤不出吗
Sir, are you sure you can't squeeze out just a small tear?
当然不行 蠢货 我只为重要的事哭泣
Certainly not, thick wig! I only cry about things that matter.
我现在的样子接受加冕还不错吧
So, how do I look for my coronation?
-惊为天人 -瞧瞧我的小腿
- Spectacular. - Look at my calves!
肌肉发达 男子汉气概十足
Very muscular! Very manly!
跟你说个秘密 其实是衬垫
I'll tell you a secret. It's padding.
衬垫 怪不得您的臀部是那个样子
Padding? Well, that explains the seat of your trouser.
带衬垫的小腿肚是乔治王朝时期的至高时尚
什么
What?
好吧 只有你知我知
Well, between yousies and mesies,
您臀部那里的衬垫好像有点厚
there might be a tad too much pad on the old derriere.
衬垫
Padding?
那里压根没有衬垫
There's no padding there!
他觉得我胖 他觉得我胖
He thinks I'm fat! He thinks I'm fat!
有个办法能帮您 不如您穿上束腹呗
You know what might help? What about if you wore a corset?
我现在就穿着呢
I am wearing a corset!
乔治的绰号♥是"伟尔士王子"
好吧 至少他现在哭了
Well, at least he's crying now.
可怜的王子殿下
Oh! Oh, the poor prince!
我不是王子 我现在是国王了
I'm not a prince, I'm a king now!
-现在都给我出去 -他是国王了
- Now get out! - He's a king!
出去
Out!
我很胖
I'm fat!
我要吃块巧克力
I need a chocolate.
没错 乔治四世不希望
Yes, George IV clearly didn't want
他姗姗来迟的加冕礼被后世遗忘
his long-awaited coronation to be forgotten.
这次加冕礼的花费创下了英国史上之最
It was the most expensive in British history
按现在的算法 大约耗资1900万英镑
costing what in modern terms would be about 19 million pounds.
乔治与妻子不和人尽皆知
George famously didn't get on with his wife,
他担心她会到加冕礼上大吵大闹
and fearing she would make a scene at his coronation,
于是雇佣拳击手将她拦在威斯敏斯特大教堂外
hired boxers to keep her out of Westminster Abbey.
其中就有一个名叫比尔·里士满的获释奴隶
One of them was a freed slave called Bill Richmond.
我们在糟糕历史拳击赛现场为您直播
We're ringside for Horrible Histories Boxing!
糟糕历史
拳击赛
非常感谢
Thanks very much.
似乎今晚会是场恶战
It looks like tonight will be a real cracker!
让我们来见见勇士们
Let's meet the fighters.
首先是伦敦的拳王
First up, we've got London's finest,
120公斤/190厘米
体型壮硕 所向披靡的
the huge, the undefeated
杰克·"硬汉汤姆"·霍尔姆斯
Jack "Tough Tom" Holmes.
让我们来看看硬汉汤姆的比赛画面
Let's take a look at Tough Tom in action.
他是古典乔治式徒手拳击的行家好手
He's a real expert at classic Georgian bare-knuckle boxing,
比赛中格斗双方必须屹立不动直到分出胜负
where two rivals stand stock still and slug it out.
这就是乔治式拳击的比赛方式
下一位出场的是个新人 来自美国纽约
Next up, it's the newcomer, all the way from New York in the USA,
他就是较轻量级的比尔·里士满
it's the comparatively smaller Bill Richmond.
60公斤/170厘米
比尔是出生于美国纽约的奴隶
Bill was born a slave of New York, USA,
在诺森伯兰公爵的晚宴派对上
and learned his trade boxing for entertainment
进行拳击表演 供人娱乐
at the Duke of Northumberland's dinner parties.
我必须说 他看上去比硬汉汤姆瘦小很多
I have to say, he looks a lot smaller than Tough Tom.
我想比赛会很惨烈
I think this is going to be carnage.
看上去的确如此 史蒂夫
Certainly looks that way, Steve.
倒计时结束 第一轮
Seconds out, round one!
硬汉汤姆已经严阵以待了
And Tough Tom is really fired up for this one.
真不忍♥心看下去
I can't watch.
等等 刚才怎么回事
Hold on, what was that?
好像是比尔·里士满躲开了
It looks like Bill Richmond has got out of the way
回放
-硬汉汤姆的一次猛击 -这样可以吗
- of one of Tough Tom's punches. - Is that allowed?
我猜可以
I guess.
他又躲开了一次
Oh! He's got out of the way of another one!
太神奇了 在拳击史上还没有人这样躲闪的
Extraordinary. Nobody has ever got out of the way in the whole history of boxing.
不过仔细想想
Although, when you come to think about it,
不让对手打你的脸 其实是个好主意
not letting your opponent hit you in the face is not a bad idea.
他创造了一种全新的战术
He's invented a whole new technique.
比尔·里士满创造了"左挡右闪"
我就奇了怪了 之前怎么没人这样
Makes me wonder why nobody got out of the way before.
也许是因为他们的脑袋
Probably because their heads
都在拳击比赛里被砸晕了
were mashed up by all the boxing.
天哪 他打倒他了 他打倒他了
Ohh! He's floored him! He has floored him!
而且看起来
Oh, and it looks like
杰克·"硬汉汤姆"·霍尔姆斯站不起来了
Jack "Tough Tom" Holmes is out for the count.
你出局了
You're out!
比尔·"左挡右闪"·里士满胜出
And Bill "Get Out Of The Way" Richmond is the winner.
回到演播室
Back to the studio.
可悲的二战
1940年9月7日
On September 7th 1940,
希♥特♥勒♥在英国发动了闪电战
Hitler turned his Blitzkrieg strategy on Britain,
希♥特♥勒♥的轰炸袭击
德国闪电战拉开序幕
派空军于夜间向英国城市投掷炸♥弹♥