鬼屋欢乐送

A little bit... Yeah.
再来点 嗯
Both feet!
快出去
Yeah. And more... Hurry up! And just...
再来一点 快点
That's perfect.
很好
Here? Yeah.
这里吗 嗯
Whatever happened to standards?!
怎么这么没规矩
Absolutely. Mustn't let things slide.
是的 不能听之任之了
All it takes is a little...
所需要的仅仅是一点
..effort.
努力
Look at this evil old...
你看这个可怕的老
Isn't that...? Oh, no.
这难道不是 不
She's everywhere.
每张都有她
Look! And there!
连这儿都有
Where'd you get that? Over there.
你从哪里找到的 那儿
Did you know this happens? I had no idea.
你知道这件事吗 我不知道
If indeed that is me. She looks at least 20 years older.
如果确实是我 她看起来至少比我大20岁
How come SHE can be seen?
怎么看出来是女性的
Perhaps it's only if you're grumpy.
也许只是因为你脾气古怪才看不出来
Or ugly.
或是因为太丑了
Well, her photo's all over Facebook now,
现在脸书上全是她的照片
so we can say goodbye to doing events.
所以我们举办活动的计划差不多泡汤了
No-one wants a haunted wedding.
没人愿意婚礼上闹鬼
No-one will know.
没有人会知道的
Look, it's only one window and he doesn't say where it is
照片里只有一扇窗户 也没具体地址
OK, but does anybody actually read the comments?
但是真有人会看这条评论吗
Gah! Just look at them, gullible cretins!
快看他们 这些容易受骗的傻子
I mean, what sort of moron believes in ghosts?
哪个白♥痴♥会相信有鬼存在
You ARE a ghost.
你就是鬼啊
Well, yeah, but, you know, before I became one,
但是 在我变成鬼魂之前
you wouldn't have caught me believing in this sort of nonsense.
我是不会相信这些无稽之谈的
I'm going to talk to them. And say what?
我得去跟他们谈谈 谈什么
That there's no such thing as ghosts.
这里没鬼魂之类的
Yeah, you tell 'em. Bloody weirdos!
对 得去告诉他们 这群怪胎
Hi, hi. I'm Alison, and I own the house. Um...
你们好 我叫艾莉森 我住这儿
I do!
真的
Look, I know why you're here,
我知道你们为什么来这儿
but I can assure you that there are no ghosts...ghost.
但我可以向你们保证这里没群鬼 没鬼
There is no ghost.
一只都没有
I know that it looks like a very spooky old house,
我知道这看起来像那种恐怖的老房♥子
but there's nothing creepy going on here, actually.
但并没有什么怪事发生 真的
Hi, Alison. Could you open the gate?
嗨 艾莉森 能开下门吗
Really? Now?
现在吗
Well, you made us move the van.
是你让我们挪车的
Yeah.
好吧
Is that the Grey Lady?
那是灰影女鬼吗
Obviously, I know how that looks,
我知道那看起来确实很像
but that is unrelated to the ghosts...ghost!
但这和群鬼无关 和鬼无关
Erm, look, the photo is a fake,
那张照片是伪造的
and I'd really appreciate it if you could all just go home,
如果你们能离开这 我会感激不尽
please, and not go spreading any rumours or...
还有请不要散播任何谣言或者
Well, that worked.
这招有用
So you're a paranormal expert?
所以你是超自然现象专家对吗
Yes, indeed, I am a paranormal podder,
是的 我是一名超自然现象播客
blogger, vlogger, and psogger.
博主 短视频制♥作♥者 还有灵博
Psogger?
灵博
It's a psychic blogger. The P's silent.
通灵博主 一般用简称
Oh, eh, oh! We on TV!
我们在电视上
We're on TV!
我们上电视了
Oh, we're on TV!
我们真上电视了
Look, come, come see, look, huh, see, look!
快来看 看这儿
some very fascinating spirits, erm,
一些引人瞩目的灵体
and there's lots of emanations coming from... from this hou...
从这栋房♥子里发散出来
Sorry, what was that, Tony?
你说什么 托尼
That's my guide, Tony.
这是我的指引者托尼
Yeah, no, he was just saying that something bad happened here...
他刚告诉我 这里曾经发生过不好的事
We are all over Twitter.
全推特都在讨论我们
"Man, this pic has me bricking it.
"老兄 这张照片吓死我了
That ghost be one scary-ass..."
那鬼长得太恐怖了"
Is she in the room?
她在房♥间里吗
Yes. Yes.
我在 她在
Well, it doesn't say "lady".
至少没说是"女爵"
It's just a pity the owners are being so uncooperative
遗憾的是 房♥主不怎么愿意配合
because the opportunity to study
因为研究这种现象的机会
this kind of phenomenon is so valuable.
是非常有价值的
How valuable?
多有价值
Let's find out.
让我们来看看
Hello!
大家好
Hi, yeah, I'm Mike, I live here, and...
大家好 我叫迈克 我住这儿
I do! If you say so.
真的 就当你是
Er, anyway, my wife might have been a bit hasty
有些事情我老婆今天早上
with some of the stuff she said earlier,
没有说清楚
so, well, let me put something to you.
现在 我告诉大家一些事情
And you just get to be yourselves without me telling you not to,
做自己就行 不用我来教你们该怎么做
so go full ghost.
所以 闹鬼吧
Julian, just shove anything you like.
朱利安你喜欢推倒什么就推什么
Robin, just go crazy with the lights.
罗宾尽情摆弄灯吧
Mary, lot of weird burning smells.
玛丽制♥造♥出更多奇怪的烧焦味吧
And a few Fanny pictures.
再来几张范妮的照片
Oh, can I play? Oh, yes! Teamwork makes the team work.
我能加入吗 当然 全体加入才叫合作
No... No, speak for yourselves.
不 不 这只是你们自己的想法
Personally, I don't want a bunch of misfits
就我个人而言 不想让一群奇奇怪怪的人
poking around in every corner,
拿着各种探测仪之类的机器
keeping us up at night with their probes and their machines...
在房♥子里各个角落探测 吵得人睡不好觉
CapCapCaptain... Yeah?
我说上尉啊 什么事
It... It's actually just these four I really need.
实际上 我只需要这四位
No offence, but, haunting-wise,
没有冒犯你的意思 但是闹鬼这方面
you don't really have much to offer.
你真不怎么行
No. That's fine, actually, er,
没事 事实上
because I'm, er... I'm busy with something.
因为我 我也有事要忙
So, thank you.
那 先走一步
What?
什么
Sorry, guys.
抱歉 各位
No.
没事
I wish there were something I could do to assist fair Alison.
我真希望能为美丽的艾莉森分忧
Yeah. The irony, eh?
比如嘲讽吗
I had so many skills in life
我掌握的生活技能可太多了
knot-tying, tent-pitching, archery...
打绳结 扎帐篷 射箭
Oh, no, well...
算了
And Mike has this "No Sugar, I'm Sweet Enough" mug
迈克有个"不用加糖 我就很甜"的杯子
that I would really love to meet with an accident,
我期待着它不小心被摔碎
so if you could just suddenly push it...
所以你可以突然把它推下去
And what's in it for me?
那我能得到什么好处
Well, there's not really much that I can...
我可能买♥♥不起太多
A smartphone.
一部智能手♥机♥
What?! There was a review in Robin's paper
什么 罗宾写的一篇文章里有提到
for an application which allows you to play golf with a single finger
一款仅用一根手指打高尔夫的
on a smartphone.
手♥机♥应用软件
But they're hundreds of pounds.
可这要好几百英镑呢
Well, if you don't want my help...
如果你并不需要我的帮助的话
Are you trying to blackmail me?
你这是在勒索我吗
With respect, I think the real issue here is...is,
恕我直言 我认为现在真正的问题是
I'm not on Newsnight now, am I?
我现在没在《新闻之夜》节目上了 对吧
Yeah, it's blackmail.
没错 就是勒索
Oh, come on, Julian, everyone else is willing to help.
拜托朱利安 其他人都愿意来帮忙
Alison, I'm not willing to help.
艾莉森 我不太想帮忙
The smell of burnings, um, reminds me of being tied to that stake.
焦味会让我想起被绑在火刑柱上的情景
And for that reason, I'm out.
因此 我拒绝帮忙
The offer stands.
开始表述吧
And I will not be paraded about like some Parisian concubine.
我也不愿意像巴黎某些情妇一样到处招摇
Yeah, she no porcupine!
对 她不是豪猪