飞出个未来（1999）

永无止尽
nonstop, forever!
《法网游龙》能做到，你也能做到
If Law & Order can do it, so can you.
教授离线
Professor out!
(《飞出个未来》) (由以下品牌赞助播出...)
Futurama is brought to you by...
(思乐零)
思乐零！
Slurm Zero!
没有味道，一喝上瘾
None of the flavor,all of the addiction!
(导演) (执行制♥作♥人)
莫妮，我的爱人 你愿不愿意成为我的...
Monique, my love. Will you be my--
停！下一集！开拍！
Cut! Next episode! Action!
水管工？
Plumber?
(五小时电池酸) (长效续航)
弗莱最好不是用公♥司♥信♥用♥卡♥ 买♥♥这些机器人垃圾
Fry better not be puttin' this robot junk on the corporate credit card.
那是我专门用来替一人商务晚餐买♥♥单的
That's exclusively for my one-man business dinners.
赫米斯，别再说你那微不足道的 挪用公♥款♥的事，看一下这个
Hermes, quit your low-stakes embezzling and look at this.
(一倍-两倍，速度控制)
Fry is now streaming at double speed!
弗莱现在开双倍速度追剧
我来看一下他看到哪里
I'll mirror his view on the TV.
我好喜欢
Oh, how I love the illicit thrill
背着我丈夫跟人类偷♥情♥的快♥感♥
of cheating on my husband with an actual flesh-and-blood human.
跟淫秽的人类
A filthy, filthy human. So squishy and gooey.
又软又黏，就像一个性感的水球
You're like a sexy water balloon.
我也觉得很刺♥激♥，莫妮 我以前从未坐过天鹅船
The thrill is all mine, Monique.I've never been on a swan boat before.
计算机 -莫妮，你怎么能这样？
Calculon!Monique, how could you?
跟一个我一直在偷♥情♥的人类朋友偷♥情♥
And with Human Friend, the very person I've been cheating on you with.
计算机，你怎么能这样？
Calculon, how could you? And with Human Friend,
跟一个我一直在偷♥情♥的人类朋友偷♥情♥
the very person I've been cheating on you with.
计算机、莫妮，你们怎么这样？
Calculon, Monique, how could you?
够了！再说下去没完没了
Enough. We're stuck in a loop.
我希望我们能和解 而且这艘船只能载六吨♥钢筋
I just hope we can come to some agreement,and that this boat can hold six tons of steel.
他在开双倍速追剧？
He's streaming at double speed?
怎么不帮他降速？
Why not just slow it down?
因为弗莱的大脑 正处于不稳定的狂追剧状态
Because Fry's brain is in a very precarious binge-state.
任何改变，那怕只是帮他续多力多滋碗 都有可能害死他
Any change, even refilling the Dorito bowl, could kill him.
不！ -没错
Oh, no! Oh, yes.
你们必须更加快拍续集
You've got to make episodes faster. Faster!
加快
Faster!
我们已经在每小时拍一小时剧集了
We're already making an hour-long show every hour.
这已经是最快速度了
That's the fastest it can be done!
胡说，莉拉
Nonsense, Leela.
我是快速表演的代言人
Why, I am the spokesman for fast acting.
你是快速表演痔疮膏的代言人
You're the spokesman for fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.
你有意见吗？ -没有
Your point? - I have none.
像我这种程度的机器人演员 演戏速度可以远超过最优秀的
A robot actor of my caliber can act at speeds
人类演员能达到的速度
far beyond what even the greatest human actors can achieve.
“生与死，这是发人省思的问题
To be or not to be. That is the question.
“究竟哪个更高尚？ 忍♥受命运中残暴的众矢乱石之击...”
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows...
你漏了一句台词
You missed a line.
你能用双倍速执导吗？
Can you direct at double speed?
不知道，你会付双倍价钱吗？
I don't know. Can you pay at double scale?
不是我付钱，你就快点喊“开拍”...
It's not my money.Just yell action really, really fa--
开拍
Action!
计算机，我是来告诉你...
MONIQUE Calculon, I've come to tell you that--
停！怎么回事？
Um... -Cut! What happened?
剧本停止上传了
The script pages stopped uploading.
那群懒惰的编剧
It's those damned lazy writers!
无法每15分钟写出一小时的剧集
Can't even manage to write an hour-long episode every 15 minutes.
我要为讨厌的工作过劳死了
I died doing what I hated.
你们不能即兴表演吗？
Can't you just ad lib?
要求一个演员即兴表演 就像要求一个人...
Asking an actor to ad lib is like asking a...guy to...
五
five.
那就让我来写剧本
So I'll just write the scripts.
笨蛋都可以当电视编剧 -很多都是
Any idiot could be a TV writer. - Many are.
会有多难？
How hard can it be?
“我爱你，计算机”
I love you, Calculon.
“我们来吧，宝贝”
Let's do it, baby.
“班德好棒”
Bender is great.
然后淡出
And fade to black.
你被录取了
You're hired!
哈啰，编剧工会
Hello, Writer's Guild.
(编剧室)
我担心他再也无法计算了 不然他会算错
MONIQUE I'm afraid he'll never calculate again.
我们来吧，宝贝 -班德好棒
Or he'll do so inaccurately. - Let's do it, baby.
停！好，重设第3万1652号♥布景...
Bender is great. -Cut!Okay, reset for scene 31,652B...
心脏病发是剧本里的吗？ -不是，但可以加进去，因为很搞笑
Was that heart attack part of the script?No, but leave it in. It's hilarious.
弗莱的性命岌岌可危
Fry's life is on the line.
现在就靠我这个执行制♥作♥人了
It's all up to me as executive producer.
开拍
Action!
开拍
I mean, action!
大声点、好笑点！笑快点
Louder and funnier! Smile faster!
演好一点，少一点微表情
Act better! Less nuance!
太烂了！
That was terrible! Next scene!
下一场，开拍！停
Action! Cut! Action! I mean, cut!
开拍...停！开拍
Action! And... cut!
停
cut!
大家都好有创意！结束！
Wow. Great writing, everyone. That's a wrap!
那一集到底发生了什么？
What exactly happened in that episode?
我获得了艾美奖，就是这样
I won an Emmy, that's what.
好，各位，休息五...秒钟
Okay, everyone, take five...
下一集
seconds. Next episode!
等一下，莉拉
Hang on, Leela.
我想机器人高管 有一些建设性的意见要说
I think the execubots have some constructive notes.
这让我难以启齿，莉拉
This is very hard for me to say, Leela, so he'll say it.
所以让他来说
We love everything about this show.
我们喜欢这部戏
但不好看
It's not working at all.
拍摄取消
You're canceled.
你们永远是福禄大家族重要的一分子
You'll always be an important part of the Fulu family.
滚！
Get out!
但...我们的朋友弗莱
But, our friend Fry...
他会死的
He's gonna die...
拆除布景
Strike the set.
一部戏怎么会被取消这么多次？
How does a show get canceled this many times?
还被这么多电台取消？
By this many networks?!
坏消息，教授
Bad news, Professor.
他们不让我们拍续集了
They won't let us make any more episodes.
真是坏消息
That is bad news.
尤其是在我有好消息后
Especially since I have... good news!
立刻把演员们绑♥架♥过来
Kidnap the actors and get back here at once!
弗莱正在看最后一集
Fry's down to the very last episode,
但他还有一丝希望
but he still has one slim hope.
我们要将他的注意力
We've got to gradually shift his focus
逐渐从剧中世界转回真实世界
from the streaming world back to the real world.
那样安全吗？ -当然不安全
Is that safe? - God, no!
趁他在看福禄台最后一集时
While he watches the finale on Fulu,
你们要同时在他面前现场表演
you'll simultaneously perform it live in front of him.
你要我再翻拍一次？
You're asking me to perform a second take?
不是
No, no!
把这当成在一个昏迷的观众前现场演出
Think of it as live theater for one unconscious audience member.
就像密尔瓦基莎士比亚节
Ah, like the Milwaukee Shakespeare Festival.
没错
Exactly!
开始
And action.
慢慢帮弗莱转回正常观看速度...
Easing Fry back to normal viewing speed.
现在我们要逐渐降低 他的狂追剧眼镜的不透明度
Now, we'll gradually decrease the opacity of his bingeing goggles.
慢慢地...
Gently... Gently...
莫妮、小盒子
Monique, Boxy,
我们俩之间不同子集之间的感情 太强烈了，无法承受
the feelings between each distinct subset of two of us are too intense to bear.
我们发现自己处于经典三角恋的顶点
We find ourselves the vertices of a classic love triangle.
这是三元方程式，只有一个答案
It's a three-variable equation with only one solution.
X等于自杀
X equals suicide.
砰...砰
这段三角恋还有空间 再容纳一个顶点吗？
Does this love triangle have room for one more vertex?
严格来说是可以
Technically, yes,
虽然这样会构成一个爱情四面体