飞出个未来（1999）

我相信那里有人可以战胜这种病毒
I believe there are people therewho could defeat this virus with...
用巫毒
voodoo.
德怀,立刻回房♥间
Dwight, go to your room right now!
你这是在招惹你不了解的力量,老公
You are messin' with powers you don't understand, husband.
但我了解
But, I do!
那就跟我一起去,老婆
Then come with me, woman!
你一定要听我说 因为我是在巫毒家庭中长大
You must listen to me 'cause I grew up in a voodoo family,
丧尸主义杀了我爸爸!
and zombie-ism killed my father!
然后又让他死而复生
Then brought him back to life!
我们不想再跟那个世界有牵扯
Me don't want anymore to do with that world.
那我只好自己去找黑魔法师了
Then I'll have to seek out these practitioners of the dark arts on my own.
希望他们的所在地附近有好吃的贝涅饼
Hopefully, they are near that place with the good beignets.
你要非常小心,老公
Be very careful, husband,
答应我一件事
and promise me one thing.
如果你活下来
If you survive,
要帮我带一点贝涅饼回来
you gonna bring me back some of them beignets!
(大圆柱总站)
(安检)
(运输安♥全♥局♥)
怎样?那是我的情绪支援枪
What? It's my emotional support gun.
先生,哪一区?商务舱还是打架舱?
Which section, sir? Business or fighting?
商务舱 -这边请
Uh, the first one. - Right this way.
你要干洗手液吗? -不用,谢谢
Hand sanitizer? - No thanks.
那我不客气了
Eh, more for me.
女士...
Ma'am? Ma'am?
请不要把你丈夫放在头顶行李箱
Please don't jam your husband into the overhead bin.
不要教我妻子怎么把我塞进行李箱!
Don't you tell my wife how to jam me into things!
我知道我的权益!我要把你录下来!
I know my rights.I'm recording you!
我要把你未经他允许 就录影的情况录下来
And I'm recording youfor recording him without permission!
(市政厅)
身为你们的市长,我很荣幸宣布
As your mayor, I'm proud to announce
本市最知名的书呆子已研发出一种疫苗
that our city's most prominent egghead has developed a vaccine
可以一劳永逸终结我那糟糕的民调数字
that will end my terrible poll numbers once and for all!
没错,多亏了尖端的核糖核酸技术
Quite so. Thanks to cutting edge RNA technology,
我的疫苗未经测试就很有效
my vaccine is as potent as it is untested.
我基本上相同的疫苗要有效得多
Ha! My essentially identical vaccine is far superior!
温斯特 -这是两次注射疗法
Wernstrom.- It's a two-shot regimen.
是吗?我的疫苗需要注射三次 而且会让肩膀酸痛一个月
Oh, yeah?Well, mine's three,and it makes your shoulders
我的疫苗会让手臂萎缩脱落
sore for a month!Mine makes your arm
这算什么,我的疫苗附带一种超前方式
shrivel and fall off!Big deal! Mine comes with a futuristic way
会准确知道谁接种过,谁没接种过
of knowing exactly who's been vaccinated
一小张容易遗失的纸片
and who hasn't,.A small scrap of easily-lost paper.
我做了你最喜欢的菜,莉拉,鸡形肉排
I made your favorite, Leela.Chicken-shaped steak!
弗莱,如果...
"Wow, this is great Fry!"
这平底锅酱没那么清淡会很好吃
Is what I'd say if this pan sauce weren't so bland!
对,我知道你是因为染疫才这么说
Yeah, well, I know that's just the virus talking.
奶油派怎么样?
How's the cream pie?
我是独家张
Scoop Chang,
《新纽约客》智慧手表版的 填字游戏编辑
New New Yorker Crossword Puzzle editor,Smartwatch Edition.
温斯特博士,你的疫苗
Dr. Wernstrom,what do you say to reports
有磁力副作用,对此你有什么说法?
your vaccine has the side effect
那是疫苗的特色,不是瑕疵
of magnetism?That's a feature, not a bug.
酷
cool
我是摩宝和琳达的琳达
Linda, Morbo and Linda.
根据网路上一则匿名贴文
According to an anonymous internet post,
你的抗爆怒疫苗会导致不育
your anti-anger vaccine causes sterility.
想评论一下吗? -不育是必要的
Care to comment? - The sterility is essential!
研究显示小孩是最会惹人愤怒的
Studies show that kids are what make people angriest!
大家都讨厌小孩
Everyone hates kids!
我是这里唯一费心 自行搜集事实的记者吗?
Am I the only journalist here who even bothered to bring my own facts?
班卓博士
Dr. Banjo!
对,我就是班卓博士
Yes, the Dr. Banjo
体验播客体验时刻的班卓博士
of The Dr. Banjo Experience Podcast Experience Hour.
方斯沃教授,根据我开始散布的谣言
Professor Farnsworth,how do you respond to rumors I'm starting
你的疫苗里有5G晶片,你怎么回应?
that there are 5G chips in your vaccine?
我会向你保证,这5G晶片是安全的
I would simply reassure you that the 5G chips are safe
且纯粹是用于监视
and purely for surveillance purposes.
天啊
Dear God!
但这是疫苗有效的原理
But, that's how it works!
5G晶片会追踪病毒粒子
The 5G chips track the virus particles,
这样太空雷射就能射击病毒
so the space lasers can shoot them.
把那骗人的疫苗拿开
Keep that quackery away from me!
(欢迎来到新纽奥良) (爵士乐糖尿病的发源地)
女士,我能收你的餐盘吗?
May I take your tray, ma'am?
不行,不能拿走我的危险餐盘
No, you may not take my dang tray!
我们为什么要供应中东烤肉串?
Ow! Why do we have to serve shish kabob?
喂,别逼我过去那里
Hey, don't make me come back there!
先生,请回到你的座位 -我是机长
Sir, please go back to your seat. - I'm the captain!
别跟我耍职权,飞行小子
Don't you pull rank with me, flyboy!
去给我坐下,好好开飞机
Sit your tushy down, and drive this thing.
坐你个头
Tushy my ass!
机长报告
This is the captain speaking.
在靠窗座位打架的旅客
Passengers fighting in the window seats will notice
会注意到我们正倾斜翻过 山明水秀的朋恰特雷恩湖
we're careening past scenic Lake Pontchartrain.
(电子秋葵浓汤)
救命,我的双腿动不了
Help... I can't move my legs...
我闻到秋葵浓汤
Ooh! I smell gumbo!
(波旁街,健怡可乐大道)
(罗宝夫人的巫毒商店)
你好,夫人,这是巫毒总部吗?
Hello, madam. Is this the Voodoo HQ?
你会巫毒? -你误会了
Shh. You do voodoo?You misconstrue.
谁在总部施巫毒?
Who do voodoo at the HQ?
懂了,想要这种情报可不便宜
Entendu.But, such information won't come cheap.
我在外面发现这枚25分硬币
I found this quarter outside.
别担心,我擦掉大部分呕吐物了
Don't worry. I wiped off most of the vomit.
那我们请教一下塔罗牌吧
Then let us consult the tarot.
(骨之钥)
骨之钥
The Key of Bones,
(倒吊人)
倒吊人
the Hanging Man,
被巨无霸贝涅饼压死的人
the Man Being Crushed by a Big Beignet,
被圣吉祥物打倒的人
and the Man Being Beaten by the Saints Mascot.
你要选哪条路?
Which path do you choose?
倒吊人下面那锅里是什么?
Hm.What's in that pot under the hanging guy?
沸腾的秋葵浓汤
Boiling gumbo.
我要从秋葵浓汤开始
I'll start with the gumbo.
(艾萨的诺诺拉)
来吧
Hit me.
砰
Bam!
有点淡,我想我会试试这个
Mm. Kinda mild. Guess I'll try this one instead.
(骨之钥)
只要大家打我的疫苗
This damned pandemic would be over
这该死的疫情就会结束
if only people would take my vaccine.
为什么除了我,每个人都这么笨?
Why is everyone but me so stupid!?
唉,因为除了你 每个人都在用社群媒体
Splah. Because everyone but you uses social media!
这些疫苗法♥西♥斯♥主义者 正在剥夺我们的自♥由♥
These vaccine fascists are taking away our freedom!
我还不如像我姑姑一样 待在动物园的笼子里
I might as well be in a cage at the zoo, like my aunt!
这令人困惑的口罩正在摧毁我的肺
This confounded mask is destroying my lungs.
脸包社群上所有错误资讯正在撕裂人♥民♥
All this misinformation on Facebag is tearing us apart.
我很纳闷那些贴文是谁发的
I wonder who's posting it.
(欧米克隆英仙座八号♥星)
爸,我还要发什么贴文?
What else should I post, Dad?
随便,越扯越好
Who cares? The crazier the better.
告诉他们杀虫剂会有帮助
Tell 'em worm medicine helps!
那些可怜又容易操弄的笨蛋
Those poor, easily manipulated fools.
很快地我们侵略的时机就会到来
Soon, our time to invade will draw near!
听起来很好玩
Sounds fun.
我会带上我的尖叫声消除耳机
I'll pack my scream-canceling headphones.
又糟又烂的愤怒小圆顶舱
Lousy, rotten, tiny angry dome!
莉拉?我真的很抱歉
Leela? I'm really sorry.
我设法把这花束扎成你说的样子
I tried shoving these flowers where you said,
但我就是扎不好
but I just couldn't manage it. Please take them.
请收下 -别靠近我,笨蛋
Don't come any closer, you dope!
你会染疫,可能还会被我揍
You'll get sick and probably beat up.
我不在乎,我再也受不了跟你分开了
I don't care.I can't stand being apart any longer!
我要进去了
I'm coming in.
那个算命师一定是在耍我