飞出个未来（1999）

(石棉)
(佐艾伯格的家)
(欢迎)
只有你和我了,发霉的三明治人
It's just you and me, moldy sandwich man.
(肯塔基细烟) (鸡肉风味香烟)
喂,我是计算机
Hello. Calculon acting.
嘿,是我,你极为亲密的朋友班德
Hey, it's me! Your extremely close friend Bender.
想一起玩吗? -你怎么会有我的电♥话♥号♥码?
Wanna hang out?How did you get this number?
我没有,我只是按顺序打每个电♥话♥号♥码
I didn't! I'm just dialing every number in order.
继续打
Keep dialing.
讨厌鬼
This nuts bolts!
嘿,班德 -在?我是说,不在!
Hey, Bender. - Yes? I mean no!
我带垃圾桶里的蛋奶酒来了
I brought dumpster nog...
而且不是给小孩喝的那种
And not the kind for kids.
(蛋奶酒)
里面是什么? -里面没有什么?
Hm. What's in it? - What's not in it?
你想加肉豆蔻吗?
You want nutmeg on that?
肉豆蔻?恶心!
Nutmeg? Gross!
? Five golden rings! ?
? Four something something, three something else ?
? Two no one cares, and a partridge ?
? Drowned in our nog! ?
好浓烈!
Whoof! This stuff is strong!
我们喝了几杯?
Hey, how many glasses have we hadded?
没有,你是因为闻到毒气
None. This is just from the fumes.
不公平!
Aw, it's not fair!
其他人都跟白♥痴♥家人一起玩得很开心
Everyone else gets to have fun with their stupid family.
我们物种一繁殖完就会死
My species dies when we reproduce.
所以我要是有家人,我就会死
So if I had a family, I'd be dead.
有谁在乎这点吗?
Does anyone even care about that?
我肯定不在乎
I sure don't.
你要是问我的话 善良圣诞老人在摧毁圣诞节
If you ask me, "good" Santa is ruining Xmas.
我想把他剪断
I'd like to give him such a snipping.
我想把他折断,但他现在不在这里
Ooh, I'd bend him a new one! But he's not here right now!
但他以前来过这里
But, he has was been here.
每年圣诞节,他都会出现在壁炉前
Every Xmas, he shows up in the fire hole.
我们可以酒驾时光机 回到去年圣诞节,然后绑♥架♥他
We could drunk drive the time machine to last Xmas and kidnap him!
这样他就不会在今年圣诞节送礼物
Then, he won't be able to deliver presents this Xmas!
这样我们白♥痴♥朋友的假期就毁了
And our stupid friends' holiday will be ruined!
慢着,绑♥架♥圣诞老人真是好主意
Wait. Is kidnapping Santa a good idea,
还是因为我们喝醉了 才觉得那是好主意?
or does it just seem like a good idea because we're intoximated?
这是好...主意 -喂!
It's a good (belches) idea.
对
Whee!
好
设定回到过去的航线
Set course for last Xmas!
? Jingle bells, Zoidberg smells ?
? Just like rotten eggs ?
我在歌♥声中永垂不朽
I'm immortalized in song.
饼干?
Cookie?
我们到了,去年的圣诞节
And here we are, last Xmas.
抓住他
Get him!
来咬我啊,臭圣诞老人!
Bite my glittering festive ass!
放开我,死屁孩!
Unhand me, you naughty boys!
(现在)
把他塞进旧肉类储藏柜!
Shove him in the old meat locker!
我们有旧肉类储藏柜?
We have an old meat locker?
寂静之夜
? Silent night ?
神圣之夜
? Holy night ?
唉呀
Oh, boy. Hey, boy.
看你还怎么散播欢乐,圣诞大火腿!
Try spreading joy now, you big Xmas ham.
我们真是天才!
We're geniuses!
我是天才
I'm geniuses!
班德好棒棒...
? Do the Bender!
班德好棒棒
Do the Bender! ?
佐艾伯格,你只有我想像的一半坏嘛
You know, Zoidberg,you're only half as bad as I thought you were.
你这么说对我意义重大
That means a lot.
我们把那块肉吵醒了
Uh-oh. We woke the meat up.
我们怎么办? -去时光机那里
What do we do? - The time machine!
好主意
Good idea!
准备上天堂安息吧!
Get ready to sleep in heavenly peace!
他死了
He's dead.
我们杀了圣诞老人
We killed Santa Claus.
是你杀了圣诞老人
Uh... You killed Santy Claus.
机器人...
Uh... Robot?
(我仍知道你明年圣诞节做的事!)
这本来应该是好玩的绑♥架♥
This was supposed to be a fun kidnapping!
现在该怎么办?
What do we do now?
把尸体处理掉
We gotta get rid of the body.
那通常很好玩
That's usually pretty fun.
快划...
Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!Stroke!
好,现在就增加重量好让尸体沉下去
Okay. Now, we just add some extra weight to sink the corpse.
(50磅)
没用
It's not working!
(500磅)
还是没动
Still nothing!
你怎么还不沉下去?
Why! Won't! You! Sink!?
(新纽约警局,警♥察♥)
双手举高,脏东西
Hands up, boat bags.
那个大型漂浮物是什么?
What's with the bloated floater?
我承认,我们杀...
I admit it! We murd--
只是在丢弃有毒废弃物,警官
Uh, just, uh, dumping some toxic waste, officers.
看来你们要去别的地方丢
Huh. Guess you gotta put it somewhere.
你们继续,深夜垃圾倾倒人
Carry on, night dumpers.
德怀,现在来教你 康拉德家的佳节特大啃食谱
Dwight, it's time to teach you the Conrad holiday turducken recipe.
按字母顺序烹调
Cooked in alphabetical order.
好,我们要从鸡开始
Alrighty then.We gonna start with the chicken, then duck, and then...
然后是鸭,然后是...还少了两个
Let me see now. Now the E and the F...
老公,今年有红鹳吗?
Husband! We using flamingo this year?
那一磅要20元,不用了,谢谢
At $20 a pound!? No, thank you.
没用 -再用力冲!
It's not working! - Flush harder!
我已经很用力冲了!
I'm flushing as hard as I can! Got any other ideas,
还有其他办法吗? 「我很擅长藏尸体」先生?
Mr. I'm-So-Great- At-Hiding-Corpses?
至少我有在想办法
Well, at least I have ideas!
你有什么建议?
What do you suggest?
我们可以试试泡酸浴
Hm... We could try an acid bath.
听起来是能放松,但是... -不是啦
That does sound relaxing, but--
我们要溶解圣诞老人的尸体
No! We'll dissolve Santa's body!
教授在楼上的实验室有一些酸液
Professor has some acid upstairs in his lab.
我用这垃圾袋去装一点来
I'll go fill this trash bag.
提醒我一下,这里是一楼吗?
Remind me, is this the ground floor?
瞧,我们家庭的传统圣诞大餐
Behold, my family's traditional Yuletide feast.
龟豚
Turdolphin!
以新鲜乌龟塞进发酵的海豚中烹调而成
It's fresh turtle cooked inside a fermented dolphin.
这很快会变成呕吐物中的呕吐物
Wow. Soon, it's gonna be barf inside a vomit.
爸!不要把实话说出来
Dad. Shh! Keep the truth to yourself.
哪部分闻起来像鲸鱼屁♥股♥? -是肉汁
Which part smells like whale butt?Ooh, that would be the gravy.
(男爵,香肠)
你毁了一切,是你想绑♥架♥圣诞老人!
You ruined everything!You're the one who wanted to kidnap Santa!
是吗?是你要我绑♥架♥的!
Oh, yeah? Well, you enabled me,
所以就闭嘴,继续把他推进绞肉机
so shut up and keep pushing him into the meat grinder!
班德,看!成功了!
Bender, look! It's working!
慢着,我的螯呢?
Wait. Where's my claw?
都过来看,亲人们,我要用
Gather round, relatives, as I cook up
3D家禽列印机烹调出方斯沃家的特大啃
turducken a la Farnsworth with this 3D poultry printer.
只要是立体的,我都会吃
As long as it's got three dimensions, I'll eat it.
我们从鸡肉浆开始
We start with liquid chicken.
然后加入鸭丝
Then, some duck filament.
最后是一整只新鲜火鸡
And finally, a whole fresh turkey.
我之前已经先列印出来
I printed this one out earlier.
我要是想准时到莉拉家 现在就要出发了
Oh, man. I need to head out if I'm gonna make it to Leela's.
你有滑雪板吗?
Do you have any skis?
没有,但我可以列印出来
No, but I can print some.
我们要怎么做特大啃? 冰箱里什么都没有
How are we making turducken? There's nothing in the refrigerator.
对,那冰箱故障了 我们把它当备用房♥间
Eh, that fridge doesn't work. We use it as a spare bedroom.
我们这里有生鲜特大啃,莉拉
We serve fresh turducken, Leela.
下水道里有一大群各种禽类在游荡
They roam the sewers in huge flocks.
它们会很难抓吗?
Are they hard to catch?
不会,它们恨不得进来送死
Oh, no.They crave death.
嘿,抱歉我迟到了 我饿到吃了点滑雪板
Hey! Sorry I'm late.I got hungry and ate my skis.