飞出个未来（1999）

(我们警告过你了,但你不听!)
(吃吧!单身狗粮) (现推出口味!)
(老妈牌老式机器人润滑油)
(集体催眠时间)
(单身狗粮)
(老妈牌友善机器人公♥司♥)
(机器人臂公♥寓♥)
弗莱,你一定要制♥造♥噪音吗?
Fry, do you have to make such a racket?
那是什么新玩意儿? -这叫扫把,班德
What is that contraption?It's a broom, Bender.
今天是大日子 我想为了莉拉把这地方打扫干净
Today's a big day,and I want the place to look nice for Leela.
就像昔日伦敦美好的黑雪
Ah, just like the loverly black snow of old London.
(旧福传,麦芽酒)
在莉拉来这里批判 我们放纵的单身生活方式之前
Hey, before Leela shows up and judges our swingin' bachelor lifestyle,
我们应该来最后一场高丽菜大战 我准备了一箱烂高丽菜!
we should have one last cabbage fight.I got a crate of really rotten ones.
(烂菜大叔的晒干高丽菜)
我不知道
Ah, I don't know.
现在莉拉要搬进来,我想让她看到...
Now that Leela's moving in,I-I kinda wanna show her I--
听我说完,我想让她看到...
Let me finish! I wanna show her--
让她看到...看到...我想...
Show her--Show--I wanna--
真是够了!
Alright, that's it.
(思乐零)
喂,那是我要用来放高丽菜的瓶子!
Hey, that's the vase I keep my cabbages in!
这里比我上次来时干净多了
Wow, it's so much cleaner than the last time I was here.
莉拉!进来
Leela! Come in!
欢迎来到 你的新家
Welcome to your new home.
是我们的新家
Our new home.
我该把我的东西放在哪里? 我没看到衣橱
Where should I put my things?I don't see a dresser.
批判开始了!
Oh ho! Let the judgmenting begin.
你有衣架吗?
Do you have any hangers?
我可以把我的东西放在这小壁橱
I can put my things in this tiny closet.
那小壁橱是我的房♥间!
That tiny closet is my room!
而且我们没有衣架 但我们可以从妈马逊订购一些
Also, we don't have any hangers.But we can order some from Momazon.
对,他们有所有稍微拼错字的名牌
Oh yeah. They have all the top slightly misspelled brands.
衣架,我买♥♥五个
Aha. Hangers. I'll get five.
不,慢着,买♥♥一千个免运费
No wait! There's free shipping on a thousand.
送货真迅速
Wow. Fast delivery.
我们也买♥♥个鞋架吧 这样就不会把泥巴带进屋子里
Let's also get a shoe caddy so we don't track mud into the room.
对,不能让高丽菜沾到泥巴
Right. Don't wanna get mud on the cabbages.
喂!又不是只有 你住在这里!
Hey! You aren't the only ones who live here!
那么,欢迎来到沙发,夫人
So, uh, welcome to the sofa, m'lady.
班德,你能不能给我们一点隐私?
Uh, Bender?Could you please give us a little privacy?
我可以接受暗示
I can take a hint!
但我无法接受的是直接要求
But what I can't take is a straightforward request.
最好别让我隔着墙还听到声音!
And I better not hear anything through the wall!
(行星快递)
大家早安
Good morning, everyone.
想知道我为什么哭吗? 我来告诉你们为什么!
You wanna know why I'm crying?I'll tell you why!
终于要说了
Here we go.
弗莱和我本来过得好好的
Fry and me?We had everything!
一起玩高丽菜大战之类的
Cabbage fights...Everything...
但现在我就像原本是两个轮子的
But now, I'm like the third wheel on a tricycle
三轮车的第三个轮子
that used to have two wheels!
那叫自行车 - 你就是自行车!
That's a bicycle. - You're a bicycle!
好的,公♥司♥十分关心 你在这里插入的问题
Yes, yes, the company cares deeply about your insert problem here.
不过同时,我们正被妈马逊挤出市场
But meanwhile,we're being driven out of business by Momazon!
(总出货量)
我们无法跟他们的免运竞争
We can't compete with their free deliveries.
我们连这种一次性教杆也几乎买♥♥不起
We can barely even afford these single-use pointin' sticks!
幸好我们今天还有 运送粪肥到月球的工作
It's just lucky we got a job today delivering some crap to the moon.
哪种粪肥?
What kind of crap?
牛粪
Bull.
(月球应该东山再起)
别挡路,秀恩爱的情侣!
Outta my way, lovebirds!
(烂菜大叔的晒干粪肥)
讨厌,弗莱和莉拉的恋情!
Damn you, Fry and Leela's relationship!
感谢您使用行星快递
Thank you for using Planet Express.
我们知道你有更便宜 更快速、更好的选择
We know you have cheaper, faster, better options.
你是说妈马逊?
You mean Momazon?
我讨厌那个超级邪恶的企业集团
I hate that wicked, wicked conglomerate.
他们的仓库正在破坏月球的自然丑态
Their warehouse is ruining the moon's natural ugliness.
妈马逊的仓库在月球上?
Momazon's warehouse is on the moon?
我看到了
Oh, now I see it.
乡亲们今晚要开会 以组织一场没用的示♥威♥抗♥议♥
Folkses are meetin' tonight to organize a futile protest.
你们若想加入,一定可以自然融入
If you'd care to join us, y'all'd fit in right natural
一群缺牙的乡巴佬
with a room full of toothless rubes.
这是我们的荣幸
We'd be honored.
我们会有三百人,共18颗牙齿
There'll be 300 of us and 18 teeth.
(欢迎光临艾德林峡谷)
(地球之光) (月球厅)
(骚动进行中)
我告诉你们,那座仓库不断扩张
I tell ya, that warehouse just keeps gittin' bigger and bigger.
我的农场要是完蛋了 我那三个机器人女儿怎么办?
What are my three robot daughters gonna do if my farm goes bust?
别担心,爸 我们已经在仓库应征到工作了
Don't worry, Pa!We done took jobs in the warehouse!
你一直是很棒的爸爸
You've been an amazing dad.
不知道她是怎么进来的
Huh. Not quite sure how she got in here.
总之,我们还有最后一位发言者
Anyhoo, we do have one last speaker
是妈马逊公♥司♥的支持者
in favor of the Momazon corporation.
你叫什么名字?女士
What's your name, ma'am?
大部分人就叫我老妈
Most folks just call me Mom.
我只是想说我十分荣幸
I just wanted to say how honored I am
能让妈马逊物流中心 成为这个社区的一分子
that the Momazon fulfillment center is a part of this community.
你何不下地狱,去成为地狱的一分子?
Why don't you go to hell and be a part of that community?
对!
right!
我了解新事物会让人害怕
I understand new things can be scary,
但你们知道 什么总是能让我感觉更好吗?
but you know what always makes me feel better?
赔偿金
Financial remuneration.
那就是贿赂
That's just a bribe.
是吗?听她说完
It is? Hear her out!
这是智慧居家助理
This is a smart home assistant.
总是倾听、总是关照...
Always listening... Always watching...
但也能尊重你们的隐私
But also respecting your privacy
因为隐私优先
because privacy comes first.
我们称之为“茵蔓莎”
We call it Invasa.
你好,请问 你要订购什么?
Hello. What would you like to order?
茵蔓莎,我要替这屋子里的每个人 订购一个茵蔓莎
Invasa, I would like to order an Invasa for everyone in this room.
唉呀,我永远没办法 对给我免费东西的人生气
Goshdarn it, I never could stay mad at no one what gives me free stuff.
妈马逊的价格确实很实惠
Momazon does have great prices,
但我听说那仓库里的状况...
but I've heard conditions in that warehouse... I-I mean,
他们送货是真的很快,但...
they deliver really fast, but--
那座仓库有超级恐怖的隐患
That warehouse is hiding nightmares beyond horror.
但我喜欢他们的退货条款
Love the return policy though.
你们在我的仓库什么都找不到
You won't find anything at all in my warehouse
除了现存的每样东西
except every item in existence.
来吧,我带你们参观一下
Come, I'll give you a tour.
进入需要扫描手掌
Palm scan required for entry.
掌掴辨识成功
Ow!Slap recognized.
(纸箱折迭工)
(小心轻放)
(百分之零点一再生纸)
(安全第三)
机器人,酷
Wow, robots. Cool!
对,他们比工会好多了
Yes. They're much better than unions.
我是说人类
I-I mean humans.
每个机器人是24小时轮班制 一星期七天
Every robot works a 24-hour shift,seven days a week,
额外加班有奖金
with bonuses for additional overtime.
还真幸运 -在我听来是强迫劳动
Lucky. - Sounds like forced labor to me.
胡说!他们很爱这种战友情谊
Nonsense. They love the camaraderie.
想来这里工作的机器人都大排长龙
Robots are lining up to work here.
这还是不人道,我想我们该走了
It still seems inhumane. I think we should go.
如你们所愿
As you wish.
我们最新的员工会带你们出去
Our newest employee will show you out.
出口往这边走,感谢你们参观妈马逊
This way to the exit. Thank you for visiting Momazon.
滚吧!
And stay out!
班德,你要离开行星快递?为什么?
Bender! You're quitting Planet Express? Why?
因为妈马逊各方面都更好!
Because Momazon is better in every way!
可以跟成千上万的机器人一起玩
There's thousands of robots to hang out with.
如果有几百人交了女朋友 留下我一人伤心欲绝,那又怎样?
And if a couple hundred get girlfriends leaving me alone and devastated, so what?
况且他们允许你在瓶子里尿尿
Plus, they let you pee in a bottle.
你什么时候需要尿尿了?
Since when do you need to pee?
我是不需要
I don't need to.
莉拉和我会非常想念你的