飞出个未来（1999）

谁说这不是为了和平 这整件事都是为了和平
Who said it's not about peace?It's entirely about peace.
还有空气
Also, air.
莉拉,我们有时会用战争强迫人们屈服
Leela, sometimes we coerce people with war.
有时我们会走正道 用和平手段欺骗他们
Other times, we take the high road and trick them with peace.
不好意思
Excuse me.
我很荣幸能与莉拉舰长
It is my great pleasure to sign this peace treaty with Captain Leela
和她一大桶太空朋友签署这项和平条约
and her big bucket of space friends.
按照传统规定,双方开始节瘤触摸仪式
Tradition dictates that the parties begin with the ritual knobbling.
我们舰长会很乐意进行节瘤触摸仪式
Uh...Our captain will gladly engage in the knobbling.
我会吗?我宁可不要!
I will? I'd rather not.
我命令你触摸节瘤
I said knobble!
这里真的越来越臭了
It's starting to get real ripe in here.
无意冒犯 但有没有可能是因为你扔的食物?
No offense, but could it possibly be all the food you threw?
来看看是不是
Let's find out.
唉呀!真的很臭
Ow. - Man. It does stink.
就像漂浮在一滩呕吐物上的腐肉
It's like rotten flesh floating in a puddle of vomit.
想得美!
You wish.
是榴梿
It's a durian!
不
No.Noooo!
对了,榴梿是什么?
What's a durian, by the way?
地球上最臭但最美味的水果
Earth's most putrid yet delicious fruit.
在公共场所淋浴后享用真爽
So refreshing after a public shower.
天啊,还真能看到冒出的臭味
My God. It actually has stink lines.
忍♥着点吧,玻璃心
Tough it out, snowflake!
现在你知道你是怎么把你的机组员 搞得士气低落
Now you see how you've demoralized your own crews!
是你指望跟着你战斗的机组员
Crews you expect to follow you into battle!
至少在我的麾下,他们受苦的时间不长
At least with me in charge, they don't suffer long.
来看看你们在这些情况下要怎么战斗
Let's see how well you fight under these conditions.
机组员立刻前往模拟战斗台
Crew to simulated battle stations!
怪胎舰长,往右舷急转弯
Captain Cranky! 90 degrees to starboard!
启动防护罩,暴露狂
Shields up, Flashnut!
发射模拟导弹,蠢肥猪!
Fire simulated missile, you fat moron!
好刻薄喔
So mean.
(雨云号♥)
那艘模拟太空船 看起来有点像我真正的太空船雨云号♥
That simulated ship looks a bit like my real ship,the Nimbus.
赞!直接命中
Yes! Direct hit!
现在谁才是尿失禁的蠢肥猪啊?
Now, who's the fat, incontinent moron?
嘟跶...嘟跶
嘿,这旋律满好听的!
Hey, man, that's catchy!
紧急警报器播放的是什么歌♥曲?
What song is that playing on the emergency siren?
那就是紧急警报声,我们遭到攻击
It's the emergency siren! We're under attack!
我要离开这里
Ah! I'm getting outta here!
我们需要签条约,莉拉
We need this treaty, Leela.
拿出舰长的风范,快去抚摸节瘤
Act like a captain and start fondling knobs.
我代表行星民♥主♥秩序
On behalf of the Democratic Order of Planets,
我很荣幸
it is my honor to, respectfully,
毕恭毕敬地抚摸你黏稠的...
grope your slimy...
我做不到
I can't do it.
有件事似乎不妥
Something just seems inappropriate.
可能就是这个
Possibly this thing.
多美妙的桶子
What a marvelous bucket.
老天爷啊
Jumping Judas.
我从没见过这么真实的模拟场景
I've never seen a simulation so realistic.
我「可以」撩这位模拟人物吗?
Is it "okay" to hit on a simulation?
这是什么意思?
What is the meaning of this?
我以为我已经放逐你们四位
I thought I canceled all four of you!
对,但我把那可悲的敏感度讲师
Yes, but I hijacked this ship
五花大绑后,劫持了这艘太空船
after hog-tying your pathetic sensitivity instructor!
真是受教了
It was a teachable moment.
所以我们的太空船是真的 模拟场景是假的?
So, our ship was real?And the simulation was simulated?
谁都不能放逐盖瑞凯德博士
No one cancels Dr. Gary Kind.
那个可高可矮的家伙是谁?
Who's the tall short guy? - Dr. Gary Kind,
盖瑞凯德博士 行星民♥主♥秩序最臭名昭著的咸猪手
one of the DOOP's most notorious gropers.
咸猪手?
A groper?
这位先生才像个外交官
Now, this gentleman's a diplomat.
你们惹错了植物学博士
You messed with the wrong doctor of botanical science.
因为我有一件威力无穷的生化武器
But I have with me a bio-weapon of inconceivable power!
他的夹克里藏着什么东西
He's got something in his jacket!
我也是!
And so do I!
唉呀,这家伙到底还有多少颗榴梿?
Jeez. How many more durians does this guy have?
一颗
One.
足以污染这个星球几百年的空气供应量
Enough to befoul this planet's air supply for centuries!
盖瑞,放下榴梿
Gary, put down the durian.
我们发过誓,不在和平时期用榴梿
We swore never to use those in peacetime.
(来电)
班德呼叫莉拉 雨云号♥一小时前遭到袭击
Bender to Leela! The Nimbus came under attack about an hour ago!
我可能应该早点打来
I probably should have called earlier.
你们要留意远方
Be on the lookout for a small gunship
有个这么大的小型武装直升机
about yea big from a million miles away.
莉拉舰长,命令雨云号♥射击凯德博士
Captain Leela, command the Nimbus to fire on Dr. Kind.
但他被那些可怜又无辜的变♥态♥包围
But, he's surrounded by those poor innocent pervs.
他们可能会受伤
They might get hurt.
真是懦弱!舰长需要铁石心肠
What a wimp!Captains need to be ruthless.
女人就该待在厨房♥里,帮我做甜榴梿派
Women belong in the kitchen,fixing me a sweet durian pie.
这真是令人反感的刻板印象
That's an offensive stereotype.
莉拉的烘焙技术很烂
Leela's terrible at baking.
你的八小时敏感度训练结束
Your eight-hour sensitivity training is complete.
请将我丢弃在最近的回收桶
Please deposit me in the nearest recycling bin.
才不要
No chance.
查普布宁根,你已完成矫正课程
Zapp Brannigan, having completed your rehabilitation,
我在此恢复你的云雨号♥舰长职位
I hereby reinstate you as Captain of the Nimbus.
命令你的太空船射击
Order your ship to fire!
谢谢你,葛莱 但我不确定我能不能这么做
Uh, thank you, Glab,but, uh, I'm not sure I can do that.
凯德博士教了我许多道理
Dr. Kind taught me a lot.
太好了
That's wonderful!
我现在能明辨是非
I now know there's a difference between right and wrong.
做错事会让你被放逐
One of them gets you canceled.
瞧你们从政♥治♥正确文化中得到什么?
See what you get with PC culture?
软弱的舰长懦弱到无法射击无助之人
Weak captains too cowardly to shoot the helpless!
(行星快递)
多美好的夜晚,很适合观嗅
Ah, what a beautiful night for smell-gazing.
你就应该在我摧毁宝贵的空气前射我
You should have shot me before I destroyed your precious air!
我要是舰长,我会毫不犹豫开火
If I were captain, I'd have fired without a second thought!
你的八小时敏感度训练结束
Your eight-hour sensitivity training is complete.
请将我丢弃...
Please deposit me...
凯德博士,你已完成矫正课程
Dr. Kind, having completed your rehabilitation,
我命令你担任雨云号♥舰长
I name you Captain of the Nimbus.
命令你的太空船... -开火!
Order your ship to--Fire!
莉拉,你是英雄!
Leela, you're a hero!
艾莉女王,我准备好抚摸了
Quing Airee, I am now prepared to knobble.
别介意榴梿
Don't mind the durian.
我宣布抚摸是非强制的,我要签哪里?
I declare the groping optional. Where do I sign?
最后,我向我所有伤害过的人
In conclusion,I sincerely apologize
真诚地道歉
to all those I've harmed.
尤其是基夫克洛克 亚马逊星壮硕的性感女士
Especially Kif Kroker,the giant sex ladies of Amazonia,
模拟的莉拉,当然还有已逝的凯德博士
simulated Leela,and, of course, the late Dr. Kind.
(凯德博士)
赞啦
Yeah, baby!
走开,这典礼是为莉拉准备的
Move! This ceremony is for Leela.
莉拉舰长英勇保护了 我们的太空空气供应
Captain Leela, having heroically secured our supply of space air,
我向你颁发行星民♥主♥秩序最高荣誉 英勇勋章
I present you the DOOP's highest honor,the Medal of Valor.
发音是「丝绒」
It's pronounced velour.
(英勇)
你接获命令时拒绝射杀手无寸铁的平民
Your refusal to shoot unarmed civilians when ordered
这鼓舞了我们所有人...
was an inspiration to us all,
也符合不荣誉退伍的理由
as well as grounds for a dishonorable discharge!
你以为这里是哪里 和平工作团吗?滚!
What do you think this is, the Peace Corps? Get out!
(不荣誉退伍)
我想我只是没有 当行星民♥主♥秩序舰长的资格
I guess I just don't have what it takes to be a DOOP captain.
不,你有更好的
No, you have something better.
你有做自己的资格
You have what it takes to be Leela.
榴梿
Yum. Durian!
我可以用我的卷须 把你的脸颊吸吮干净吗?
May I slurp your cheek clean with my tendrils?
好啊