人人都爱雷蒙德（1996）

Everybody Loves Raymond S01E06

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 12:32 p.m.

请进吧
Come on in.
真是太棒了
This is great.
你一定得见见黛博拉
You have really got to meet Debra.
我可以在书店签本书给她的啊
I could have signed a book for her at the store.
可她是个超级篮球迷
But she's a big basketball fan.
来吧会很好玩的来
Come on, this will be fun.Come on
天或许我留个签名的篮球算了
Jeez, maybe I should just leave a signed basketball.
不肯定很好玩的你瞧着
No, this will be great. Watch this.
黛博拉
Debra.
嗨
Hi.
你一直最喜欢的篮球运动员是谁?
Who's your favorite basketball player of all time?
麦克.乔丹
Michael Jordan.
不退役的退役的篮球员
No, retired. Retired basketball player.
拉里.伯德
Larry Bird.
湖人队的那个
He played for the Lakers.
威尔特.张伯伦
Wilt Chamberlain.
这里不是我家
This isn't my house.
我们走错了
That's what it is.
我想拿回我的书
I want my book back.
卡里姆
Kareem.
我给你做点东西吃吧
I'll make you something to eat.
《人人都爱雷蒙德》第一季第06集作家弗兰克
嗨我叫雷跟我老婆黛博拉一起
Hi I'm Ray and I Iive here in Long IsIand
住在长岛
with my wife Debra.
她很会带孩子
She's great with the kids,
很会收拾总之很能干
the house, everything.
我不知道她是怎么做到的
I don't know how she does it.
我们有个女儿叫艾丽...
We've got a daughter AIIy...
还有一对两岁大的双胞胎儿子
and twin two-year-oId boys.
孩子们并不是最大的问题
It's not really about the kids.
我父母就住在街对面
My parents Iive across the street.
没错
That's right.
我哥哥和他们住在一起
And my brother Iives with them.
现在并不是每个家庭
Now, not every family
都会有家人络绎不绝的造访
would go by on a conveyor belt for you...
不过我家就会因为
but mine would because--
人人都爱雷蒙德
Everybody Ioves Raymond.
是啊是啊是啊
Yeah.
你有没听说霍伊.赛门的儿子
Did you hear Howie Simon's son
卖♥♥了一个小趣闻
sold a funny little anecdote...
给《读者文摘》?
to the Reader's Digest?
是吗? 不错很好祝贺他
Yeah? Okay, good. Good for him.
卖♥♥了50块那又怎样?
That's $50. Yeah?
你怎么不能也这么做?
So why can't you do something like that?
我是个作家爸爸
I'm a writer, Dad.
报社雇我全职写作的
The newspaper pays me to write full-time.
听着我不是说做体育专栏
Look, I'm not talking about the sports column.
那做得很好
That's great.
我是指作为副业
I'm talking on the side.
把写小趣闻当作副业?
Funny anecdotes on the side?
是啊可以帮你赚点闲钱
Yeah, that's free money for you.
好吧
Okay.
给小羊排
Here, lamb chops.
妈妈我还得吃晚饭哪!
Mom, I've got the dinner!
你又做...
You're cooking....
好吧就再吃一片
All right, one more.
听我说很感谢你的建议
Look, thanks for your advice...
但我不会给《读者文摘》投稿的
but I'm not writing anything for Reader's Digest.
你是怎么了啊?
What's with you?
有外快送上门也不要?
You can afford to turn down extra cash?
我是指平时做副业
I'm talking on the side.
妈那个....
Ma, where's the....
薄荷辣椒等下
The mint-chili, hold on.
这儿在这儿
Here. Right here.
我们说的是文摘雷
We're talking the Digest here, Ray.
你知道那种人才
You know the kind of talent it takes...
把这么长的小说浓缩到了一页半?
to take a novel like this and put it on a page and a half?
这就是写作!
That's writing!
好了够了爸爸
All right, enough already, Dad.
你要是这么喜欢这个杂♥志♥
If you like the magazine so much...
那你干吗不自己写点东西呢?
why don't you write something for it yourself?
你指什么?
What do you mean?
是啊他说的对
Yeah, he's right.
你干吗不老实坐那儿自己写啊?
Why don't you get off your rear end and do it yourself?
我觉得这个主意很好
I think it's a very good idea.
真的吗?
You do?
你去写点什么给《读者文摘》投稿吧
You go write something for the Reader's Digest...
我得回家还要假装饿肚子
I'm gonna go home and fake hunger.
羊排给我吧
Give me that chop.
《读者文摘》
The Reader's Digest.
上面的确登过些有趣的玩意儿
They do have some funny stuff in there.
三周后
噢天我们这是看什么呢?
Oh, boy, what're we watching?
"在愚蠢谷歌♥唱"
Wee Sing in Sillyville.
猜怎么着?
Guess what?
现在早晚都演了
It's on mornings and evenings now.
愚蠢加倍
Twice as silly.
好了
Okay.
我们要取消有线电视
We have to cancel cable.
是啊
Yeah.
去穿睡衣吧
Go and get your jammies on.
雷
Ray
罗伯特还在这儿呢
Robert's still here.
罗伯特你在这儿干吗呢?
Robert, what are you doing here?
我有个疑惑我需要确认一下
I had a suspicion I need to confirm.
罗伯特怎么了?
Robert, what's wrong?
我觉得麦克不再喜欢我了
I don't think Michael likes me anymore.
你说什么哪?
What are you talking about?
他不像杰弗里
He's not like Geoffrey,
他看起来很高傲
he seems stand-offish.
你知道麦克只是个小宝宝是吧?
You know Michael is a baby, right?
只是感觉而已
It's just a feeling.
警♥察♥的直觉
Cop's instinct.
他都不想跟我一起玩
He wants nothing to do with me.
注意了各位
Attention, everybody.
猜猜谁是出版作家了啊
Guess who is now a published writer.
你说什么哪
What are you talking about?
今天邮递员给我送来了功名和富贵
Today, the mailman brought me fame and fortune.
《读者文摘》发行超过2700万本
The Reader's Digest,over 27 million copies sold...
用19种语言
in 19 languages.
在全世界每个读者
And all around the world,each and every reader...
现在将翻到第6♥4♥页
will now open to Page 6♥4♥...
"制♥服♥幽默"这一部分
the "Humor in Uniform" section.
嘿你们都等什么哪?
Well, what are you waiting for?
怎么可能啊
How did that happen?
你知道这事儿吗? 知道他这么做吗?
Did you know about it? You knew he was doing this?
拜托! 你以为这是他自己搞定的啊?
Please! You think he'd get this done by himself?
这男人都不会自己擦嘴
The man can't wipe his own chin.
玛丽是我的小小打字员
Marie was my little typist.
不许叫我打字员
Don't call me a little typist.
你何不大声念出来呢雷
So why don't you read it out loud, Ray?
不用了没那个必要
No, that's not necessary,
爸爸我们自己读好了
Dad. We'll read it.
不别啊
No, come on,
你的声音这么适合朗读
you have such a nice speaking voice.
"经过第一周的基础训练"
"Throughout our first week of basic training..."
大点声! 再生动些!
Louder and funnier!
"我们的教练班长"
"...our drill sergeant--"
站起来!
Stand up!
拜托
Come on!
起来! 这就对了
Up! There you go.