免责声明（2024）

意识到他在盯着我看
when I'd been aware of him looking at me,
对着我笑时 我想象他的声音不是这样的
you know, when he smiled at me, I had imagined it differently.
我以为他的声音是温柔的
I thought it would be gentle.
结果不是那么回事
But it wasn't gentle.
他的声音里充满憎恨
It was hateful.
但是这些照片... - 是
But the photographs-- - Yes.
是 我马上就要说到照片的事
Yes, I am getting to the photographs.
给我舔
Lick it.
我没被人打过 所以我懵了
I'd never been hit before, so I was stunned.
我咬紧牙关 耳朵嗡嗡作响
My teeth crunched. My ears were ringing.
我简直... - 求求你
I just... - Please.
无法想象会发生这种事 - 你敢再这样或尖叫
...couldn't believe what was happening. - If you do that again or you scream,
我就用刀伤害你和你的儿子
I will fucking cut you and your son.
我会在你脸上留下永远的疤痕 听懂吗
I will mark your fucking faces for life. Do you understand?
乖乖听话 好吗
So are you gonna do as I say?
脱下你的连身裙
...and take off your fucking dress.
妈妈
Mummy. Mummy.
求求你不要
Please, please, please.
哄他睡回去 - 求求你别伤害他
Put him back to sleep. - Please. Don't hurt him.
赶紧去哄他睡回去 - 没事的 亲爱的
Put him back to fucking sleep. - It's okay. Darling--
亲爱的 回去睡吧 我在这里 - 但你说好
Darling, go back to sleep. I'm here. - But you promised
不会关门的 妈妈 - 求求你
to keep the door open, Mummy. - Please.
叫他安静
Shut him the fuck up.
叫他安静
Shut him the fuck up.
什么味道
What's that smell?
乖
There we go.
睡吧
Go to sleep.
如果尼克突然醒来
If Nick had woken...
我真不知道你儿子会做出什么事来
I don't know what your son would have done.
离开房♥间时 我松了一口气 我能感应到他跟上
So I was relieved when I left the room, and I could feel him following me.
接着他...
And then he--
他拿起相机 我心想
he picked up the camera and I thought,
“他想勒索我”
"He's trying to blackmail me."
然后...
And...
我心想只要配合他就好
so, I thought, you know, "I'll win him over."
我不能让他伤害尼克
I didn't want him to hurt Nick.
但是我不知道怎么办才好 我能怎么办呢 配合摆拍吗
But I didn't know what to do. What was I supposed to do? Pose?
令我惊讶的是 他竟然选了我丈夫
And I was appalled because he chose the underwear
为这次度假买♥♥来送我的内♥裤♥
that my husband had given me for the holiday.
快
Hurry up.
快点
Faster.
转过身来
Turn around.
擦掉眼泪 给我笑 听懂吗
Wipe them off your face and smile. Do you understand?
笑
Now smile.
对 好多了 坐下
Yeah, much better. Sit down.
别哭
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
笑一个 笑一个嘛
Come on. Come on.
胸罩 赶紧给我脱掉
...bra. Hurry up. Take it off.
我闭上眼睛
I closed my eyes.
我感觉自己像肮脏 枯萎的物件
I just felt like a dirty, shriveled thing.
他越靠越近 我能清楚地听到相机的咔嚓声
And I could hear the click of the camera and the whine of the zoom
以及镜头变焦的嗡嗡声
as he came closer and closer.
然后...
And...
我乖乖听他的指示
I did exactly as he asked.
轻咬上唇 呻♥吟♥ 淫♥叫♥ 娇喘
You know, I bit my top lip. I groaned. I moaned. I gasped.
希望他满意后就离开
You know, hoping that he'd be satisfied and he'd leave.
接着我听到他开始叹气 呻♥吟♥
And then I heard him sigh and groan...
我等 动也不敢动
and I waited. I was afraid to move.
我以为他没有别的要求了
And I thought that's all he wanted.
于是我说:“求求你走吧” - 求求你走吧
So I said, "Please go now." - Please go now.
可是我错了
But I'd made a mistake.
我不应该说这句话
Shouldn't have said that.
我应该假装我也乐在其中
Should have pretended it was what I wanted too.
不要
No! No, don't!
我意识到这场风暴还没结束
And I knew then that it wasn't over...
我很害怕
and I was terrified.
他拿着一把刀 - 给我笑
He had a knife. - You better fucking smile.
整个过程中 我脑海里只有一个念头
And through it all, I just kept thinking
要怎么把他赶出去
how do I get him out?
要怎么不让他靠近尼克
How do I get him away from Nick?
我以为... 我希望他有那么一刻对我们动恻隐之心
And I just thought-- I hoped somewhere he'd feel pity for us.
接着我听到一把声音
And then I heard this sound.
听起来像一只受伤的小动物
Sounded like an injured animal.
我意识到...
And I realized...
那是我的声音
it was me.
我全身都在痛 每一处都在痛
And my whole body was just in pain. Everywhere.
接着他把我翻过身去 然后他...
And then he turned me over and he--
他开始吻我 而我...
he kissed me and I--
我可以闻到他的牙齿 他的口水
I could taste his teeth and his spit
他用的须后水我闻到就反胃
and his aftershave was just-- It was just revolting.
我可以...
I could--
闻到就想吐
It made me feel sick.
那股气味跟我在医院 从你身上闻到的气味一样
It was the same aftershave I smelt on you at the-- at the hospital.
然后他...
And then he...
他用膝盖狠狠地压住我的腿
pressed his knee, and he-- he shoved it really hard into my thigh,
再次进入我
and he pushed himself into me again.
接着我...
And I--
接着他整个人倒在我身上 而我...
He collapsed on top of me, and I just--
他动也不动 我被他困住 动弹不得
He just stayed there and I was trapped. I couldn't move.
我心里祈祷希望这一切马上过去
And I thought, "Please, God, let this be over."
但他又开始侵犯我
But he started in again.
对
Yeah.
我有没有反抗
Did I fight?
没有
No.
我有没有大声求救 没有 我做不到
Did I scream? No, I couldn't.
但你只需要知道...
But all you need to know is that...
我被你儿子性侵无数次
your son raped me again and then again,
我被性侵整整三个半小时
for three and a half hours.
我被你儿子强♥暴♥整整三个半小时
Your son brutalized me for three and a half hours.
接着他停了下来 他满足了
And then, he stopped. He'd had enough.
转过身来
Turn over.
笑
Smile.
然后他对我说
And then he said to me,
“谢谢你 很棒” - 谢谢你 很棒
"Thank you. That was nice." - Thank you. That was nice.
他说出这句话后
And when he said that,
我希望他死
I wanted him to die.
没错 那晚
Yeah, that evening,
只要能看着他死 我做什么都愿意
I would have given anything to watch him die.
所以 他被淹死后
So, when he drowned...
我就走开了
I walked away.
这就是真♥相♥
That's the truth.
我无法假装对他的死感到愧疚
And I can't pretend to be sorry for that.
我不相信你的话 你说谎
I don't believe you. You're lying.
哪个部分你不相信 - 都不相信 你...
So what is it you don't believe? - Any of it. You-- You--
如果这就是事实 你和南茜见面一定会告诉她
You would have told Nancy when you met her if it was-- if it were true.
什么 你妻子就快死了
What? I would have told your dying wife
难道要我告诉她 我被她已故儿子强♥暴♥的事
that I had been raped by the son she'd lost?
有意义吗
What would have been the point?
我之所以告诉你是因为我要你善罢甘休
The only reason I am telling you is because I want you to stop.
放过我和我的儿子
I want you to leave me and my son alone.
你没有证据
You have no proof!
什么 我大可给你法医证据啊
What? I can give you the forensic evidence.
你要吗 需要吗
Is that what you want? Is that what you need?
好吧 他走出酒店房♥间后
All right. Well, after he left,
我清空了一罐脸霜 将空罐按在那边
I emptied out a pot of face cream and I pressed it against myself
将他恶心的体液挤出体外
and I pushed his disgusting glob out of my body,
然后拧上了盖子
and I screwed on the lid,
还给我的伤痕拍了照 也给我的...
and then I took photographs of my injuries, you know, my--
大腿上的淤青和颈项的咬痕拍了照
the bruises on my thighs and the bites on my neck,
以便日后需要用来当作证据 毕竟...
in case I needed them for evidence later because...