免责声明（2024）

后来某天 她完全搬进去住了
Until one day, she completely moved into there,
只有吃饭的时候才出来
only coming out for her meals.
起初 她会让我进去
At first, she let me come inside,
但后来某天 她叫别再进去了
but one day she asked me not to come anymore.
我只听到她打字的声音
All I could hear was the sound of her typewriting.
她在写什么 我无从得知
I could never find what it was that she was writing.
她过世后 房♥间原封不动
I had left the place as she left it when she died.
她把最上一层抽屉锁了起来 我也不打算撬开
She had locked the top drawer and I refused to force it open,
我努力说服自己要尊重她的隐私
arguing to myself that I had to respect her privacy.
如今我理解当初自己 为何不打开那个抽屉的原因了
Now I understand why I didn't open it before.
我不打开是因为害怕发现抽屉里藏着什么
I didn't open it because I was afraid of what I would find inside.
南茜悄悄地写了一本书 我知道自己必须把这本书读完
Nancy had written a book in secret, and I knew that I had to read it,
(2011年9月18日 《完美的陌生人》)
即便害怕书页中的文字可能会使我崩溃
even if I feared the words on those pages might actually break me.
(谨以此书献给我的爱子乔纳森)
凯瑟琳 你在干吗
What are you doing? Catherine?
凯瑟琳 快把火扑灭 快扑灭...
Catherine! Put that down! Catherine. Put that--
书里写的是我
It's about me.
为什么把这本书烧掉
Why are you burning this book?
书是寄给我的 有人想要报复我
It was sent to me, and I think I'm being punished.
报复 - 天啊
Punished? - Oh, God.
天啊 有人要报复我 - 是 你说过了 宝贝
Oh, God. I'm being punished. - Yes, you said that, darling.
谁要报复你 - 我不知道
Who is trying to punish you? - I don't know. I don't know.
把书寄来的人
Whoever sent that book.
亲爱的 对方想怎么报复你
Punish you in what way, darling?
天啊 我死定了
Oh, God. I'm gonna die.
我死定了 - 有人恐吓你了
I'm gonna die. - Is someone threatening you?
凯瑟琳 对方为什么要伤害你
Catherine, why would anyone wanna hurt you?
凯瑟琳
Catherine!
因为多年前发生的某件事
Because of something that happened years ago.
什么 你出了什么事
What? What happened to you?
跟你的纪录片有关吗 - 不是
Is it because of one of your films? - No. No.
如果你认为真有人要报复你 也许我们应该报♥警♥
You know, if you really think so, then we should get the police involved.
凯瑟琳 - 不是 不是你想的那样
Catherine. - No, it's nothing like that.
你为何认为书里的人是你
What makes you think it's about you?
天啊 因为我知道自己是怎样的人
Oh, God. I recognize myself.
对方有指名道姓吗 - 没有
Well, do they name you? - No.
没有 对方没有指名道姓 可是对方描绘的人是我
No, they don't name me, but they describe me.
对方怎么描绘你 说你是白人 金发女郎
Describe you how? White? Blonde?
风姿绰约 事业成功 - 别说了
Beautiful, gorgeous, successful? - Stop.
不是 我是个丑陋的人
No, I'm hideous.
你口中的那个人不是我
I'm none of those things,
书中某些内容 让我又开始对自己产生厌恶感
and something in that book made me hate myself all over again.
为什么厌恶自己 你连只苍蝇都不舍得伤害
Why on earth would you hate yourself? You wouldn't even hurt a fly.
你是好人 - 是吗
You're a good person. - Am I?
当然了 宝贝
Of course you are, poppet.
你是圣人 - 不是
You are Saint Catherine. - No, no, no,
我不觉得自己是好人
I don't know that I am a good person.
罗伯特 我不是个好妻子 我一直觉得自己是个失责的母亲
Robbie, I'm not a good wife and I feel like I have been a terrible mother.
胡说八道
That's absolute nonsense.
不是 我意识到我实在无法面对自己 我和尼克的关系非常疏离
No, I find it so hard to live with myself. I've been so remote with Nick.
这事和预谋杀人是两回事
Well, that's not reason to imagine murder plots,
宝贝 对吧 - 求你别说了
now is it, darling? - No. Please, darling.
求求你 求求你听我说 对不起
Please. Please, listen. I'm sorry.
只是 有太多事我早应该告诉你了
It's just, there's so many things that I should have told you.
我真希望你知道这些事
You know, things that I really do want you to know,
只是我不知道怎么启齿
but I just don't know how to tell you.
我不知道从何开始说起
I don't know where to start.
我和尼克之间的事 我做过的事
With what happened with Nick and I. With what I did.
我知道 我什么都知道 - 我...
I know. I know everything. - I--
真的吗 - 是的
You do? - Yes.
我知道你和尼克的关系 总是很紧张 但他是爱你的
I know it's never been easy between you and Nick, but he loves you.
他很爱很爱你 你是知道的
He loves you very much, you know that.
知道 不是... - 冷静
I do. It's not that-- - No, no, no,
虽然我们父子俩沟通无障碍
just because he and I find it so easy to talk,
但你也别把这种情况误解成他不爱你
don't go misinterpreting that to mean that he doesn't adore you.
他是爱你的
He does.
那本书触发了你某种情绪 对吧
That book's triggered something, hasn't it?
是愧疚感吗 - 没错
What's it about? Guilt? - Yeah.
凯瑟琳 你完全没必要感到愧疚
You have nothing to feel guilty about, Cath.
尼克已经25岁了
Nick is 25 years old.
他是时候搬出去住了
It's about time he moved into his own place.
你这个决定非常正确
You made absolutely the right decision.
正确与否我不知道 - 是正确的
I don't know that I did. - Yes, you did,
很抱歉我当初反对他搬出去 好吗
and I'm sorry that I was against it, okay?
没事的 万一行不通 他就会搬回来住了
Right. If it doesn't work out, he will move right back in.
坐下 没事的
Sit down. Sit down. Okay.
好好生活是你的权利 你有这种权利
You know, you're entitled to live. You're entitled to live.
没错 虽然或多或少缺席他的成长 母子关系疏离
Yes, you've been somewhat absent and remote,
但你是我们儿子的好榜样
but you have been an incredible example to our son.
是时候让他成为 一个独♥立♥自主的大人了 不是吗
And it's about time you turned him into an independent adult, all right?
别再自责了 求求你
So stop torturing yourself, please.
答应我
Promise?
你愿意帮我吗
Will you help me?
当然愿意
Of course I will.
你什么都可以告诉我 我发誓绝对不会评判你
You can tell me anything and I swear I will never ever judge you.
你是知道的 不是吗
You know that, don't you?
他是你在世上最亲近的人
He is closer to you than anyone else.
然而 这些年来 他一直被蒙在鼓里
And yet, you have managed to keep him in the dark all these years.
如今 隐瞒这个秘密的行为
And now, the act of keeping the secret a secret
已经变得比秘密本身更为重要了
has almost become bigger than the secret itself.
如果你没空 我也能理解的
I get if you're not free and all that,
但我一定会打电♥话♥了解你的情况 好吗
but I'll call you and check up on you. All right?
看来我们就此别过了
So this is it, I guess.
谢谢你
Thank you.
记得让我知道事情的进展
Let me know how everything goes.
事情只会变得更糟
It's gonna be shit.
我妈一定会崩溃的 不是吗
My mum's gonna be a wreck, isn't she?
等等
Wait.
笑一个
Say cheese.
好 我真的要走了 - 好的 再见
Okay, I really gotta go. - Okay, bye.
再见
Bye.
我爱你 - 我也爱你
I love you. - Love you too.
记得边想我边自♥慰♥
You can wank thinking of me.
你呢
What about you?
我会在皮卡迪利线随便找个人解决
I'll just shag someone back on the Piccadilly line.
再见
Bye.
色女 - 快枪手
Slut. - Wanker.
在这呢
Over here.
干杯
Cheers.
我读了
I read it.
是吗 - 真的
Uh-huh? - Yes.
听到你说你写了一部小说 我感到非常高兴
Well, I was well happy when you said you had written a novel
也非常佩服你写作的速度 老兄
and very impressed with how fast you wrote it, matey.
你怎么看 - 很好 写得很好
What did you think of it? - It's good. It's very good.
老兄 我认为你应该拿去出版
Matey, I think you should publish it.
你这话说得真好听
You're very kind,
我不认为有专业人士会喜欢这部小书
but I don't think my little book's going to be of interest to a professional.
老兄 你拿去网上发表
Matey, you publish online,
印刷100册 自己拿去网上卖♥♥
print a hundred copies which you can sell yourself, all online.
看看反响如何
See how it goes.
我不知道从何开始
I wouldn't know how to start.
我可以教你
I can help you.
怎么说
How?
你管理学校都忙不过来了 不是吗
Aren't you a little tied up with running a school?
兄弟 我打算退休了
I'm retiring, my friend.
什么时候 - 现在
When? - Now.
你是不是因为我的事而被解雇了
Are they sacking you? Is it because of me?
不是
No. No.
是我自己决定的
It's because of me.
我年纪大了
It's because I am old.