不良教育（2012）

Oh, are you going to tell me this is the most stupid thing I've ever done?
你也想告诉我这是我做过最愚蠢的事吗
Well apart from when you bet your laptop that Jason Statham would win that Oscar.
除去你用电脑打赌杰森斯坦森能赢奥斯卡外
Have you seen Transporter 3?
你看过《非常人贩3》吗
Look, Alfie, Miss Gulliver's right.
我说 艾尔菲 格利佛小姐没错
OK, you've got a lot of great qualities,
你也有好的特质
and if someone can't see that, then they probably don't deserve you.
要是她们看不到 估计也配不上你
Yeah, I guess you're right.
你说得真是太对了
What great qualities?
我有哪些好特质呢
Well, you can speak Elvish.
你会说精灵语
Just "Where's the toilet?" "Can I have some tap water?"
也就会"厕所在哪""能用一下水龙头吗"这类的
It's barely restaurant Elf.
也就是就餐精灵语
Well, I'm impressed.
我还是觉得你好厉害
So, what, you mean India might like me for who I actually am?
那么 你觉得英迪娅喜欢的是我这个人吗
That I don't need to do this?
所以我不必做这种东西
Hey, Albert, you want to hit up some chamomile tea?
艾伯特 要不要去喝点菊花茶
Do I? You're teaching us history.
我吗 你成教历史的了
Yeah, that's right.
没错
We're learning about the build-up of hostilities prior to the First World War.
我们目前在学习一战之前 大大小小的战役
Downton Abbey Series One's on my desk.
《唐顿庄园》的第一部就在我桌上
Shall we?
走吧
One Shitty Cornetto.
一杯和路雪
Dirty Viennetta?
夹杂新幻紫
Damn straight.
太聪明了吧
Jesus! That honks, man.
天呐 还热着呢
Yeah, I'm not sure.
我怀疑
How do we know if it's safe...?
这东西安全吗...
Safe? Babe, I've been scooping this shit all day long.
安全性 亲爱的 我都搅拌它一整天了
Oh, get in my face.
太来劲儿了
Right. Look, Albert... Alfie.
好吧 我说艾伯特 艾尔菲
I'm not sure about this shit.
我不知道这是坨什么东西
Babe, we're going to have such a sick night.
宝贝儿 我们今晚会嗨到爆
Just got to ride the wave, man.
跟着节奏摇摆
You're just too wild, bro.
你也太浪了 哥们儿
Let's just drop it like it's hot.
就像这样 趁热吃
Oh, shit, man!
我♥操♥ 伙计
I'm sorry. You chundered on my vintage. Not cool.
对不起 你吐到我的复古印花裙上了 这可不好玩
"Sick" and "vintage",
"呕吐"和"复古"
Sintage. It's a mashup.
吐古 混搭哦
Oh, my God.
我去
Am I wearing a really tight little hat?
我是不是带着一顶很紧的帽子啊
Oh, my God...
额滴神啊
I'm a mermaid!
我是美人鱼了
Alfie! There's a giant prawn...
艾尔菲 那边有条巨虾
I spoke to him in his own fishy language.
我还跟他用虾语说话了
Alfie, you might want to come from under there...
阿尔弗 你最好爬起来...
Who's Alfie? My name is Ariel.
谁是艾尔菲 我叫阿里尔
Officers, this is Mr Wickers.
警官们 这就是威克斯老师
I'd begun to wonder where you'd got to.
我很好奇刚刚你去哪了
Thank you for covering for me.
谢谢你帮我代课
OK, kids, who can tell me why Lady Sibyl defied her father
孩子们 谁能告诉我希贝尔夫人违抗她父亲
and eloped with an Irishman?
跟个爱尔兰男子私奔原因
"Begorrah, to be sure,"
天哪
"I used to be a chauffeur but now I am a class traitor."
"我以前当过司机 现在却成为了一名阶级敌人"
Who trained this dog to walk underwater?
是谁教会这只狗在水下行走的
It must be the work of this hag, Ursula, the sea witch!
肯定是这老巫婆 厄休拉 海之女巫
Alfie, put the scissors down.
艾尔菲 把剪子放下
I need to look sexy for Prince Eric.
我要为艾瑞克王子打扮得美美的
Alfie... Shush, Flounder.
艾尔菲...闭嘴 比目鱼
Please, sir, not the bra. My parents are coming.
拜托 老师 别整胸罩了 我爹妈要来了
Is he OK?
他没事吧
No, I don't think he is. I think he's on drugs!
没事才怪呢 我猜他嗑药了
I've got to get Miss Gulliver!
我去找格利佛老师
Stephen, you need to help me with my hair.
史蒂芬 你得帮我打理打理头发
Prince Eric prefers me when I'm auburn.
艾瑞克王子偏爱褐色的头发
Sir, stop it!
老师 差不多得了
And after Maria slew the Cordoba brothers,
玛利亚杀害了科尔多瓦兄弟俩后
she vowed never again to use her anus as a receptacle.
她发誓 再也不用屁♥眼♥儿藏♥毒♥了
Miss Gulliver, you've got to help!
格利佛老师 需要你帮忙
Joe, I'm teaching a class here.
乔 我在教他们呢
Mr Wickers is going mad, Miss.
威克斯老师快疯了
I think he's eaten a Dirty Viennetta.
我猜他是吃了新幻紫
Mr Wickers must learn how to look after himself.
威克斯老师得学会自理
But Pro Green's in there, Miss, and the police!
格林老师 还有警♥察♥都在
He'll lose his job. He could go to prison.
他会失业 还可能会进监狱
You know what, Joe? Maybe prison's the best place for him.
知道吗 乔 或许监狱最适合他
This whole thing with India, it's not about her.
英迪娅这件事 根本不是因为她
It's about proving that he's over you, when he obviously isn't.
他只是想证明自己已经忘了你 很明显他还忘不掉
You know, after you two kissed last term
你知道吗 你们上学期接过吻之后
he told us that he had an erection that lasted for six hours and 23 minutes.
他跟我们说他勃起了6小时23分钟
And do you know what? He didn't even...
你知道吗 他甚至都没...
deal with it, cos he thought it would cheapen the moment.
怎么弄它 他觉得那样会破坏感觉
Plus, he refused to tell us what your boobs felt like
他还不肯说你胸部的手感
even though you were right up on him... All right, enough! Come on, let's go.
即便你在他上面...够了 赶紧走吧
*Under the seaUnder the sea*
茫茫海底 茫茫海底
*Under the sea*
茫茫海底
Come on, Alfie. Smile for Daddy.
看这里 艾尔菲 给爷笑一个
Why are you photographing him?
你为什么给他拍照
To prove this lost little boy needs a mother.
证明这个可怜的娃儿需要母亲
Now, I think we should take a urine sample.
我们得取点尿液样本
Officers? I want a full toxicology report.
长官们 我需要一份完整的毒品测试报告
No, Ursula! I don't want your potion.
不 厄休拉 我不需要你的魔药
Prince Eric! You've come to save me from my captors.
艾瑞克王子 你来救我来了
Lord Trident forbids our union, but it feels so right.
三叉戟大人不许我们见面 但这感觉如此真切
What on earth's going on?!
这到底是怎么回事
Mum, Dad, this isn't what it looks like.
爸 妈 不是你们想的那样
My bra!
我的罩罩呢
Nobody peek at my mer-bosoms!
没人可以偷看我丰满的胸部!
We're leaving, Stephen. No, Stephen! Please, sir!
我们得走了 史蒂芬不要 史蒂芬！拜托了 先生!
I don't want to leave my friends! Calm down, Princess Ariel!
我不想离开他们冷静点 阿弗尔殿下!
But how can I be calm
你让我怎么冷静
when I'm going out with such a sexy little starfish?
在和这么性感的小海星出去的时候?
We will conquer your demons
我们会打败你的 魔鬼
and restore peace to your watery kingdom,
重新恢复你水之王国的和平
if you just sit down on that bit of coral and stop what you're doing.
坐在那个小珊瑚上 什么也不要再做了
Mr and Mrs Carmichael, officers, Professor Green,
卡迈克尔先生 夫人 警官 格林教授
erm, I hope you've enjoyed this role-play,
呃 我希望你们喜欢这个角色扮演
a radical educational tool pioneered by drug charity Vibesline.
一种激进的教育手段 由反毒慈善团体Vibesline指导
Role-play? The man's mad!
角色扮演?这个男的明明就是疯了好吧！
Yes, yes, Mr Wickers is acting like a pathetic, grotesque,
对 没错 威克斯老师在扮演一个让人恶心 行为古怪
utterly irresponsible little man.
毫无责任感的小男人
But those are the consequences of drug abuse.
但这些就是滥用毒品的恶果
Well, it's very realistic.
但这看着不像假的
And who in this class would ever touch a drug after this performance?
这堂课上的人 看到如此精彩绝伦的表演 谁还会去吸毒
I mean, obviously, if, if Alfie was high,
我是说 很明显 要是艾尔菲真的吸毒了
then the deputy head would have to fire him, and call the police
我们副校长就得解雇他 叫警♥察♥了
and explain to his father how she ruined his son's life for ever.
并告诉他的父亲她是如何毁掉他亲儿子一生的
So it's a good thing that Alfie's acting. Right, Celia?
所以 幸好艾佛尔只是在表演 对吗 西莉亚?
The wonderful thing about Mr Wickers is his commitment.
威克斯老师最好的地方就是他的责任感
Whatever it takes to engage these pupils.
不管教好这些学生要付出多大的代价
I'm so happy here, Dad. Please, let me stay?
我在这儿很开心 爸爸 让我留下来好吗?
Oh, come on, Richard, please?
理查德 就让他留下吧
OK, I'll think about it.
我会考虑看看
P-A-R-T-Y without me?
好玩的事不叫上我
How very shellfish of you.
你们好自私喔
Ooh, prawns and pigs, eh?
虾和猪 对不
It's a good job you're not Jewish, Officer...
不错啊 你们不是犹太人吧 长官们...
Finklestein.
弗林肯斯坦
Ursula, call off your sea dogs and let my prawn swim free!
厄休拉 让你的海狗滚来 放了我的虾虾
Show's over, Alfie.
表演结束了 阿弗尔
Why didn't you want to come and swim with me?
和我一起游泳怎么样