不良教育（2012）

I'd say, "Why are you teaching him French?" You know what I mean.
我会说"你怎么教起法语了" -你懂我意思
Look, I love you!
听着 我爱你
See all of this - the petals, the candles, the Michael Buble.
看看这些 花瓣 蜡烛 麦克·布雷的音乐
Does anyone really like Michael Buble?
真的有人喜欢麦克·布雷吗?
He's just a shit Michael Ball.
就是搓版的迈克尔·波尔
I realise that this is a strange, highly emotional time for you,
我懂现在对你来说很奇怪 情感波动很大
but how dare you take this out on the Bube-ster?
但你怎么敢损我布雷
She didn't mean it, Michael.
她不是故意的 麦克
Please don't go. I'm sorry.
不要走 对不起
Fine! Bye, then!
行 再见
I'm off to find one of the boys in my class to see if he fancies a bumming!
我也去我班上找个男生看他喜不喜欢被压
Mr Wickers.
威克斯老师
These are the Wilsons.
这是威尔森一家
They were thinking about sending their child to Abbey Grove.
他们正在商讨把儿子送到艾比·格鲁夫高中的
Shall I show you back to the car park?
我送你们回停车场吧
Sir, why haven't you dealt with that bowl yet?
老师你怎么还顶着这个秃头啊
Right, for the last time it's not a bowl, it's a man bob.
好吧 最后一次强调 这不是秃头 是男士波波头
Not gigi. And the reason that I haven't been able to deal with it
没看出来 - 我之所以没整它
is cos I've been busy picking up the pieces of my broken heart.
是因为忙着修补我破碎的心
Ah. Miss Gulliver's no biggie, sir. Every girl has a minge binge.
格列佛老师没什么大不了的 每个女人都爱玩儿女同
Minge! Maybe the reason they become lesbians after they've got with me
女同 -或许我才是她变拉拉的原因呢
is because they know that it's never going to get any better -
因为她们知道好不到哪里去
like when Sir Chris Hoy retired after London 2012.
就像当时克里斯·霍伊2012重回伦敦时
Want me to be your guinea pig? You can kiss me and see if I turn,
需要我做你的小白鼠吗? 你吻我看我会不会变蕾丝
like a lesbo Twilight.
像暮光"基"城一样
Sir, so what if Gulliver's exploring her boundaries?
老师 万一格列佛老师是在探索她的底线呢?
Sexuality ain't a rigid set of definitions.
单纯的性行为是下不了定义的
It's a spectrum and we all fluctuate between its many polarities.
我们都是两极波动范围内的两性生物
Plus yat on yat is fit, innit?
不过同性相吸不是么?
And he's back.
狗改不了吃屎
Joe's got a choad!
乔有小JJ
Guys, can you hurry up, please?
伙计们 能快点不
Piss off, Savile! Sir's perving on us.
滚开 老师在偷♥窥♥
I'm ready, sir. Hope the water's warm.
我好了 老师 希望水是热的
I'm not looking. Chantelle, I told you to put your pyjamas on.
我没看 仙黛儿 不是说了把睡衣穿上吗
I sleep naked. Go and get some clothes on now!
我平时裸睡 -赶紧穿点东西
This leisure centre is minging. Joe, you don't sleep in a duffle coat.
这家休闲中心太搓了 - 乔 你穿呢大衣睡觉吗
I do when it's cold. Please don't make me swim, Alfie.
冷的时候会 拜托别让我下水 艾尔菲
Mate, you should be used to having wet pyjamas!
伙计 你应该习惯湿漉漉的睡衣了吧
Is that my shirt? It's all I could find. Do you want some breakfast?
那是我的衬衫吗 - 只有这件了 要吃早餐么
Look! It's my XXL conny!
看 我的加大号♥的避孕套
It's a verruca sock. Argh!
是防滑袜 -呃
Where's the lifeguard? She'd better be a sort.
救生员呢? 她最好厉害点
Don't worry, mate. They always are.
别担心 伙计 都是这样
Oi, Jing. Get your harpoon out. I've spotted a whale.
靖 把鱼叉拿出来 发现条蓝鲸
Sit down, you grubby little toads!
坐下 一帮小蟾蜍
Hi. I'm Mr Wickers.
嗨 我是威克斯老师
You too. I'm the form teacher.
你也是 -我是班主任
Sit! My name is Joy. Before you begin, a couple of ground rules.
坐 我叫乔伊 开始之前 有几条硬规矩
I don't like children, but I do like my kit.
我不喜欢小孩 但我爱我的道具
And take extra special care of Thomas.
对托马斯要格外小心
Oh, her dummy's got a name. Rules. No diving, no bombing,
它还有名字 -规矩 不许跳水 深水炸♥弹♥
and no petting - of the heavy or light persuasion.
不许腻腻歪歪的爱抚
What's petting? Why don't you show us, love? Give us a kiss!
什么爱抚? - 做个示范呗 亲爱的 亲一个
Do you want a faceful of congenital herpes? Thought not, squirt.
你是想一脸的疱疹吗? 不想吧 蠢货
And finally, no running!
最后 不许跑步
We had a lad used to run round, ended up cracking his head.
以前有个小伙子就是乱跑 撞到了头
He can't run any more. Eats through a tube and shits in a bag.
现在跑不了了 只能吃稀的拉屎用带接着
I think what Joy is trying to say is that water can make this surface
我想乔伊想说的是水会弄得地板
very slippery.
非常湿滑
Wasn't water. He tripped on a crutch.
不是水 他是被拐杖绊倒的
OK, er, back to swimming. Has anyone got any questions for Joy?
好了 回到游泳上 有人有问题要问乔伊的吗
Yeah. Is it true the water changes colour if you piss in it?
有 在水里撒尿水会变颜色是真的吗
Yeah. It goes yellow. Tods turn the milk chocolaty.
对 会变黄 拉屎会变褐色
Someone's done a dump in it? Wasn't my fault, you weasel.
还有人拉过屎? -不是我的错 你个黄鼠狼
I've got a spastic colon. Speaking of which...
我有结肠痉挛 话说到此...
Sorry. Aren't you going to help me with this? Nature calls.
抱歉 你不是要帮我的吗? -人有三急
That Ginsters Scotch Egg Bar's tipping the concierge.
昨天苏格兰蛋卷做免单活动
Think it wants to check out.
这回是免不了了
OK.
好吧
That was Joy. Charming little thing.
她是乔伊 可爱的家伙
Right, left, left, left, right. Halt!
右 左 左 左 右 立定
Right, resuscitation.
好的 复苏
Oi, look, sir, shag of life!
喂 老师 看 没毛的
Mitchell, put that down!
米契尔 快放下
Now, Mr Wickers has got it into his septic tank of a head
威克斯是脑子进屎了
that he stands a chance of competing this year.
他认为今年能跟我们较劲
Get off! Mitchell, stop it!
放开 米契尔 住手
Any hole's a goal. Let's make it airtight.
有洞的地方就有我的存在
Mitchell! Thomas! Get off my husband!
米契尔 -托马斯 放开我老公
Right, well, I think we can rest easy.
好吧 我们绝对高枕无忧
Stop looking at me. Cheeky wee bastard.
盯着我看什么 无♥耻♥的小混♥蛋♥
Ah! Miss G!
啊 格老师
I'm very concerned about the swimming gala, Fraser.
我很担心这次水运会 福瑞泽
Can I interest you in a lager? Or a stout?
淡啤酒有兴趣吗? 还是黑啤?
I tend not to drink before 10.30am. A selection of guest ales?
我一般10点半之前不喝酒 -酒架上选一瓶?
Look, Miss Pickwell is insisting her children starve themselves,
听着 皮克韦尔坚持让她的学生饿肚子
in order to achieve Olympic-standard body mass.
为了达到奥♥运♥会标准体重
Darts?
飞镖玩儿么?
I'm going out with a woman, Fraser. I'm not a man.
我在跟女人交往 佛瑞泽 但别把我当男人
Oh, there it is. I had heard you'd kissed a girl and you liked it
终于说出口了 我的确听说你吻了一个妹子很享受
and that's totes coolio on so many levels. Kind of explains why
不过我没有一点意见 终于解释了
you've never really wanted a slice of the Fray Bantos pie.
你为什么从来对我这块派不敢兴趣
Mm-hm... Yup, hit the nail on the head.
嗯嗯 一语道中
Yup, so now that "us" is off the table, we can let it all hang out.
如今你我已无情感瓜葛了 我们一起玩儿呗
Oh, wow. Oh, new Speedos tend to have very little give.
喔去 -新款Speedos都很紧
I'm just breaking in the gusset for later.
我先提前撑大点
Look, this is a point of principle, Fraser.
听着 这是原则问题 福瑞泽
Either you excuse my class from competing
你要是不让我班找理由退赛
or we will take part in a non-violent protest at the gala.
我就在水运会上做无暴♥力♥抗♥议♥
I thought you'd be more into this swimming lark now. Why?
你应该对水上运动更感兴趣了才对啊 -为什么
Clare Balding?
克莱尔·伯丁 （GAY运动员）
Argh. Motherfunkster.
呃 草泥马的
Oi, numbnuts. Why are you wearing goggles?
喂 蠢蛋 你戴泳镜干嘛
Er, because I have a severe chlorine allergy.
呃 因为我有严重的氯过敏
I don't want to get any splashback from this bad boy.
我不想被溅得一脸水
Wait, you've got webbed feet, but you can't actually swim?
等等 你长着鸭蹼脚 但却不能游泳?
I know, Jing. God can be a cruel mistress.
我懂 靖 上帝是个腹黑女
It's like giving the Pope a big willy.
就跟给教皇一根"擎天柱"一样
Right, I am going to throw this plastic brick into the pool
好了 我会把这块砖头丢入水中
and then each of you is going to take turns to dive in,
你们要一次潜水找到砖头
collect it and then swim it back to shore.
再游回岸上
What is this preparing us for?
这个的训练目的在哪儿?
You know, Jing, learning is a lot easier
知道吗 靖 你问得越少
if you don't ask any questions.
学得就越轻松
OK, so who's going to go first? Joe, want to get it out the way?
好 谁第一个 乔 要不要先去开路
I will. All right, Stephen, you're up.
我来 -好的 史蒂芬 看你的
Oi-oi! Argh! Mitchell!
嘿嘿 -米契尔
Mitchell! Stop splashing me! I'm allergic.
米契尔 别乱泼了 我过敏
I need to throw the brick in first. Get out of the pool!
我要先扔砖头 快上来
Come on, throw it.
来吧 扔啊
If you aim at me head, it ain't going to go anywhere near me.
如果你对准我的头 肯定砸不着我
Mitchell, get out!
米契尔 上来
Or what, you'll come and get me, goggle rash? Throw it, you melt.
怎么 你来抓我啊 泳镜男 扔啊 你打不着
Fine!
好吧!
Oh, shit!
哦 我艹!
Sir, help him! I can't go in, I'm allergic!
老师 救救他 -我不能下水 我过敏
Quick, do something! Is he going to die?
快想点办法 -他会死吗?
What?
干嘛?
Where's Joy?
乔伊呢？