不良教育（2012）

Why do you even care, Sir? Pickwell was a right bitch!
你在乎什么 老师 皮老师是个死贱♥人♥
Shhh.
嘘
She might be listening.
她可能在听
Black velvet drapes, people. We need it looking like Phantom by break.
黑天鹅绒坠絮 我需要看上去若隐若现
Oh, and I want doves.
再弄几只鸽子
Aren't doves for weddings?
鸽子不是结婚用的么
Black doves, babes.
黑鸽子 亲
I ain't ever been to a funeral before, but in the WWE Survivor Series,
我从没去过葬礼 不过在WWE生存大赛里
right, The Undertaker comes out of a coffin, choke-slams Randy Orton,
一个殡仪司仪从棺材里跳出来一把捏住兰迪·奥顿
and then finishes him off with a tombstone piledriver.
然后一墓碑拍死在他头上
Why don't we just do that?
我们来这套怎么样?
I mean, the reasons are literally endless.
还需要我解释吗
Can you just sort out the flowers, please?
你能把花理理吗?
What do I know about flowers?
我又不懂花
I swear your sister once sold me some roses at the traffic lights.
我发誓你姐姐在红绿灯时卖♥♥过我花
Whatever, Dickers, she's got a proper job now.
随便 混♥蛋♥ 她现在找到工作了
Hmm, holds a bucket while Daddy washes the windscreens. LOL!
哼 他爹在洗车的时候帮着提桶子 呵呵
Rem Dogg is asking the art department about Pickwell's portrait?
任道格在问艺术部门要皮老师的肖像
Great. Can you tell them to go easy on
好的 能告诉他们
the whole menopausal, child catcher vibe.
别太凸显更年期 虐童癖的特征吗
I'll find a picture of her smiling.
我会找张她面带微笑的照片
Good luck, that's like finding a picture of Sir
祝你好运 就好比我想照一张
watching One Direction without a boner.
老师看One Direction不勃起的照片一样难
Yeah, or a picture of you with your real dad.
是呀 跟找一张你亲爹的照片一样难
Guys, chillax! Music-wise, memorials scream Candle In The Wind.
各位 淡定 音乐选择 哀吊组曲风中之烛
Ah, perfect. Download an Elton John best of.
完美 下载Elton·John的精选集
We're going to needs loads of emotional music. Ah, like that one from Gladiator.
我们需要大量煽情音乐 对了 好比角斗士里面的那段
You know, the one that he has in the dream.
就是他做梦时的那段
Please stop. What is it called?
别唱了 什么名字
I don't know, why don't you just Shazam my singing?
不知道 不如你直接听音识曲
Oh, my God. Stop!
天呐 闭嘴
I'll Google it!
我Google一下
Oh, thank God, it's you.
我的妈呀 是你
What's with the hair?
发型怎么回事?
Oh, it's a very practical style.
比较老练的风格
You do realise you look a bit like Pickwell?
你知道自己像皮克韦尔吗
No, I don't. Right.
才不像呢
Now, I need you to come in at seven tomorrow for early detention.
我要你明早7点来学校监督早间留堂
Look, I went over this with Pickwell, like, a billion times.
听着 这个我跟皮老师说过很多次了
I'm a teacher, I can't be put in detention.
我是老师 我不该管留堂
No, I need you to supervise it.
不 我需要你做咨♥询♥
Well, that's even more stupid.
那就更傻♥逼♥了
At seven o'clock in the morning, babe, I'll be down the gym,
早上7点我要在健身房♥里
pumping iron like a lion in Tring Bannatayne...
铁打的汉子钢铁的心...
And I'm hoping you'll conduct this in a good spirit.
我希望你举办这次是出于好意
I know you didn't get on, but she deserves a dignified memorial.
我知道你不懂 但是她值得一个庄严的哀悼
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
这点你不用担心
Here's the music you wanted, Sir.
这是你要的音乐 老师
It's the wrong Gladiator!
不是这个角斗士
Stephen! Stephen!
史蒂芬 史蒂芬!
To clarify, we... we won't be playing that.
澄清一下 我们不会放那个
Remember, I'm planning this memorial, so this can't take long.
记得 我还要安排哀悼会 不能耽误太久
Sure. Hey, before each interview, should I do a short monologue,
好的 在每个面试前 我该做简单开场白
a few topical jokes?
来段笑话吗?
Fraser, these are job interviews, not Chatty Man.
佛瑞泽 这是工作面试 不是脱口秀
Fine. Where did you find all these people so quickly?
好吧 -你是怎么这么快找到这些人的
Advert on Gumtree.
树上的小广♥告♥
Gumtree?!
树上的?
For many moons now, I have been the humble scribe of
几个世纪以来 我一直专注与
medieval pornography.
移♥动♥色情产业
He also plays the lute!
他还会洋琵琶
Sorry, you know this man?
我说 你认识他
Met him at Canterbury Market, selling porn from a barrow.
在坎特伯雷市场上碰到的 推着小车卖♥♥黄♥片♥
Hmm! Egad! The Pink Lance!
嗯 天呐 粉红战士
He calls himself the Porn Baron.
他管自己叫黄♥片♥男爵
Oh, but tarry, fair quent-beavor.
哦 古语有云
What quim-foolery maketh thy lady of the lake wet?
十女九深 何能为之湿也?
And you want to become a teacher because...?
你想当老师的原因是....？
To be honest, mate, it's just not selling.
不瞒你说 生意不景气
So, your name is Mrs P-hi...? Piss...? P-hi, P-hi?
你的名字叫 皮 泼一 皮?
Phistor.
费事的
Phistor?
费事的
Good. And your first name is...?
很好 你姓什么
Gay.
同志
Your name is Gay Phistor
你叫费事的同志
and you want to work in a school full of teenagers?
你想给青少年当老师
On your way out, would you mind sending in Mr Mark Skid?
你出去的时候能叫 马克·是基的 进来么
Can you tell us why you were
能告诉我们你为什么
dishonourably discharged from the armed forces?
从部队里退伍吗
It was Afghan, night...
在阿富汗 一个夜晚
I was on guard at the camp gates.
我正在坚守营地大门
Car charges up. Draws level.
车闸门打开
I see a figure in the passenger seat reach for something.
我在副驾驶座上看到一个人影在找寻东西
Split second decision. What would you do?
那一刹那间 你们会怎么做
Shine a torch?
点根火把?
Open fire. Bang, bang!
开枪扫射 碰碰
Was it the Taliban?
是塔♥利♥班♥组织么?
The Sugababes. They were there to entertain the troops.
是甜心宝贝 她们是文工团的
I'm the reason they changed the line up.
她们重组就是因为我
Mutya, right between the eyes.
穆迪亚 正中眉心
If you don't stop running, I'll hobble you quicker than you can say,
你再继续跑 我就叫你来不及说
"Very steep, secluded, concrete stairwell in a CCTV black spot."
'今日闭路电视又见一起血案'前打瘸你
Mr Wickers, Mr Fraser, don't you have classes to go to?
威老师 佛老师 你们没课吗
We need to get a new deputy head ASAP.
我们得尽快找到新主任
I liked that man who looked like Professor Weeto.
我喜欢那个长得像维多老师的男人
Dick Brumhole?
迪克·不浪货?
Right, as I said to him, Gay Phistor and Pat Fanny,
对 -我也跟他还有费事的和拍·屁♥股♥老师
you can't teach in a school with a name like that.
都说过这种名字的人不能教书
The kids would destroy them.
他们会被学生整死的
In that case, don't go bat-shoot cray,
既然这样 别抓狂哈
but I'm going to ask Miss Gulliver to apply for the job full-time.
我可能得让高老师正式接替这个职位
Who put wind chimes in the corridor?
谁在走廊上放的风铃啊
My bad. I thought they'd lighten the place up a bit.
我的错 我觉得能缓解下气氛
It's very deathy round here at the moment. Are you OK?
最近总是死气沉沉的 你没事吧
Yeah, yeah. I'm... I'm fine.
没 ...我没事
Oh, that's a parental cluster F-word waiting to happen.
哦 这貌似是要被家长骂娘的节奏啊
Oh, I just heard from the family,
哦 我刚从她家人那得知
Isobel's funeral is going ahead at St Bartholomew's.
皮老师的葬礼要在巴萨罗穆举♥行♥
So, we should send a representative, show our respects.
所以 我们该派个代表 表示哀吊
I'll go. Please let me go. I'm definitely going.
我去 让我去吧 我去定了
Through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
万能的上帝 阿门
Sorry, erm... I'd actually like to say some words myself.
抱歉 呃 我有几句话想说
If... If you must.
你一定要的话
Thank you, Your Honour.
谢谢法官
We are gathered here today to remember someone very, very special.
我们相聚在此为了纪念一个非常特别的人
Someone that will be truly missed.
一个我们永生难忘的人
Alfie! Alfie!
艾尔菲 艾尔菲!
Not now, Joe.
别闹 乔
Let me say this - Izzy...
我想说的是 她...
Is...
她
he dead?
死了吗?
Yes, yes, he is dead.
没错 他是死了
But in many ways he is not dead,
但他去没有真正死去
because we will all remember our dear old friend,
因为他会永远活在我们心中
whose name is...
他就是...
Old Captain Birdseye.
老船长先生
That's a little nickname amongst mates.
这是兄弟们给他的昵称
Fishy fingers himself.
叫你自作孽
Let's raise a glass
让我们举起酒杯
and toast a life that was tragically cut short by, erm...
敬我们的不幸在...