我为喜剧狂（2006）

Of course he has, because if he didn't...
就是违反合同 一分钱也拿不到啦
He'd be in breach of contract and wouldn't get the money.
他便会另想法子糟蹋这节目
Which means he's gonna try to find another way to ruin the show.
七年了 Tracy还是老样子
Seven years, and Tracy never changed.
江山易改 本性难移呀 Liz
Well, people are who they are, Liz.
我是Dan Silversmith
This is Dan silversmith with Carolina mutual.
我现在不便谈话 在陪客户
I can't talk right now. I'm with a customer.
不管Tracy要使什么歪点子 我都要把他拿下
Well, whatever sideways nonsense Tracy tries to pull, I'm gonna hold him down.
要像Kathy Geiss发明的那台 抱老人机器一样
I'm gonna hold him down like that machine Kathy Geiss invented that hugs old people.
天呐 这会永远改变老年护理
My god, this will change elder care forever.
哦漏
Whoops. Nope.
你好 Tracy
Hello, Tracy.
最后一♥期♥节目了 很疯狂对吧?
So one last show...Pretty crazy, huh?
的确 Elizabeth 希望一切顺利
Indeed, Elizabeth.I hope nothing goes wrong.
还能出什么岔子? 你这不是来履行合同了嘛
Why would it?I mean, you're here, fulfilling your contract.
那当然 唯一能阻止节目的只有天意了
Sure am, L.L. The only thing that can stop this show is an act of god
或者哪个天才能想办法拖延...
or if some genius figured out a way to stall Just long enough...
打住 想得美 少来这套
No! Nice try. Get that out of here.
最后一搏了 你的表现可不能这么平平
It's the final showdown, tray.You're gonna have to do better than that.
夜空风华正茂
The night is young.
你却青春不再
And neither are you.
感谢大家临时赶来
Okay, thank you, everybody,for coming in on such short notice.
我知道有些人已经另谋高就
I know some of you have already gotten other jobs.
我没有
Not me.
我们有机会再次用自己的方式 给今夜画上句号♥
Anyway, we have been given a second chance to end this right, on our terms.
那么 最后一顿免费午餐吃什么捏?
So... What are we gonna order for our last free lunch?
百福面 - Guy Fieri饭店 开玩笑哈
Momofuku! - Guy Fieri's restaurant,ironically.
什么都不要 谢谢
Nothing, thank you.
Cerie 今天轮到谁选午饭啦? 谁是挑饭的?
Cerie, whose turn is it to choose lunch today? Who is the picker?
上次是你 Liz 按照字母顺序嘛 Lemon后面是 哦漏
You picked last time, Liz, so alphabetically after Lemon comes... Oh, no.
Blimpie家
Blimpie's.
不要啊 - 行行好 Lutz
No! - Come on, Lutz!
有话好商量嘛 Frank
Let's solve this, Frank!
你好 Lemon
Hello, Lemon.
你在这干什么? 不是辞职了吗
What are you doing here? I thought you quit.
我在沙发垫子里
In the cushions of my couch,
找到张"运动衫吧"的客户信誉卡 我觉得是你的
I found this customer-loyalty card to a place called blazer bar, and I assume it's yours.
谢谢 这是曼哈顿最大的无业女性酒吧
Thank you. It's Manhattan's largest out-of-business women's blazer dump.
昨天我们的收场方式我不喜欢
Look, I didn't like the way we ended things yesterday.
嗯 我很忙
Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do.
抱歉和你争吵 近来我不在状态
I'm sorry we argued, but I'm not myself lately.
我辞了毕生追求的工作 如今倍感飘零
I-I quit the job I worked my entire life to get, and now I feel adrift.
别 我们不来这套 今天是TGS告别篇
No! We're not doing this.Today is the last TGS ever.
重点是 我将离开 或许很久不会回来
The point is, I'm going away, probably for a long time.
这是在暗示某亿万富翁的孤岛寻仙之旅吧 玩得开心哟
I assume that's code for a billionaire's soul-searching trip to tan penis island.Have fun.
离别时刻了 Lemon 我们不应心怀怨恨
We're at the end here, Lemon. We shouldn't hold grudges.
告诉你 大部分岛屿都在大火中毁了
For your information, most of tan penis island was destroyed in Sting's house fire.
...被要求高度严肃对待此次暴风雪
Are urged to take this storm severely seriously.
你们干什么呐?
Hey, where are you guys going?
抱歉 Liz 我们得赶在道路封闭前离开 暴风雪即将来临
Sorry, Liz, we got to get out of here before the roads close.There's a "snowicane" coming.
全部纽约州 尤其是曼哈顿中城
All of New York state, especially midtown Manhattan
萨克斯第五大道和花样熟食店之间的地段
between saks fifth Avenue and the variety deli.
别啊 正好是我们的所在地
Aw, no. That's right where we are.
据全国天气预报
According to the national weather service,
大家应该 引用一句 "下班 钻进宾利车里 回家"
you should, and I quote, "leave work, get in your purple Bentley, and be home with your sharks
在三州地区被即将以白人女性命名
"before the tristate area gets slammed by what is being called
的暴风雪夷平之前
'snowicane' white lady name like Dorva or something."
大家回去工作
Everybody back to work.
唉 要了命了
Aw, jeez.
你对Roker耍了什么花招 让他干那个?
What did you do to Al Roker to make him do that?
这么说吧 他妻子是一家儿童医院的董事会成员
Let's just say his wife is on the board of a children's hospital,
他们需要一位名人来主持周♥年♥庆♥ 我便以此相要挟
and they need a celebrity to host their annual gala,and I threatened to do it.
你知道自己多自私吗?
Do you understand how selfish you're being?
我们的团队一起打拼七年
Our crew has been together for seven years,
今晚是大家告别的机会
and tonight is everyone's chance to say good-bye!
给我上台 少废话
So get up on that Stage and cut the B.S.!
可我答应Barbra Streisand 再也不刺她了
But I promised Barbra Streisand I'd never stab her again!
Jenna
Jenna...
你和Lemon是多年好友了
You've been friends with Lemon for a long time.
我和她昨天起了争执
She and I had an argument yesterday.
是吗? Liz对着你泼妇骂街啦?
Really? Did Liz scream in your face?
你把她按在墙上啦?
Did you pin her up against the wall?
你俩被淋成落汤鸡啦?
Were your shirts wet with rain?
我们之前也有过争执 但这次 感觉不一样
I mean, obviously we've had disagreements before, but this... Feels different.
今夜过后 我感觉会和Lemon各奔东西
After tonight, I feel like Lemon and I could go our separate ways
自此不再相见 很离谱吧?
and never see each other again.Is that crazy?
不算吧 你知道Liz的 她会记仇
Not really. You know Liz. She can hold a grudge.
她的确想让我舍弃"顶级厨师"
She did want me to cancel top chef
因为Colicchio家把她最心爱的沙拉 的浇料给换了
because Colicchio's lunch place changed the toppings on her favorite salad.
和人打交道 就更别提了
And with people, forget about it.
她从来不和前男友做朋友
She's never stayed friends with an ex.
Conan甩了她之后 她再也没理过人家
When Conan dumped her, she dropped him forever.
嘿 Liz
Hey, Liz.
喂 你不能当我是空气啊
Come on, you can't pretend I don't exist.
我们好了一整年啊
We dated for a year!
我们还打算把初夜献给彼此
We were gonna lose our virginity to each other!
现在我永远给不出去了啊
Now I'll never lose it!
至于朋友嘛 她会无缘无故与人绝交
And her friends... She'll cut people off for doing nothing.
我甚至不敢告诉她 元旦那天我给她爸口♥交♥了
I'm afraid to even tell her that I frenched her dad on new year's.
我不知该如何是好 我失去了太多
I don't know what to do.I've lost so much already.
过去几个月已经很艰难了 现在Lemon又来这出
The past few months have been really hard.And now Lemon!
给你开抗抑郁药物的医生也坐牢啦?
Did the doctor that prescribes your antidepressants go to jail too?
我这辈子也没几个朋友
You see, I don't have that many people in my life.
我在汉普顿独自一人过圣诞
I spent Christmas alone in the Hamptons,
喝酒 朝Billy Joel的狗扔鞭炮
drinking scotch and throwing firecrackers at Billy Joel's dog!
我状态极糟 不知道还能撑多久
I'm just in a really bad place, and I don't know how much more I can take!
爸爸 别哭了
Daddy, please stop crying.
我把Blimpie家的菜单打印出来了
I printed out the Blimpie's menu.
好吧 听着
Okay, how about this?
昨天我们一堆人来清理桌子 超过一半人哟
Yesterday a bunch of us came in to clean out our desks, more than half of us.
可不 到达法定人数啦 - 你没来 Lutz
Yes, a quorum. - And you weren't here, Lutz.
午餐惯例法规定 通过重选名字来解决争端
And lunch rule precedent stipulates that disputes will be resolved by picking a new name.
Toofer 罐子拿来 - 乐意之至
Toofer, the can! - Gladly.
搞什么 粘我手上了
What the hell? It's stuck to me.
天呐 是Lutz 怎么粘糊糊的
Oh, god, and it's Lutz! Why's it so sticky?
我在捕蝇纸写的嘛 我比你们抢先五步 你们这群王八蛋
I wrote it on flypaper. I'm five steps ahead of you, you sons of bitches!
就要Blimpie家
Blimpie's.
Liz 你今天看见Jack了吗 - 没有
Liz, have you seen Jack today?- No.
他走进我的更衣室 哭得梨花带雨的
He just came into my dressing room and started crying.
他情况真的不太好 就跟Mickey Rourke...
He's in a really bad place,like when Mickey Rourke...
我不能这么下去了 我从没见过Mickey Rourke
Okay, I can't do this anymore. I've never met Mickey Rourke.
你想让我做什么 Jenna
What do you want me to do, Jenna...
停了节目 好让Jack对抛弃我一事心里好受点?
Shut down the show to make Jack feel better about bailing on me?
我真的很担心 如果你不采取措施 我来
I'm just really worried, and if you won't do anything, I will.
代表台里 Maroney小姐
On behalf of the network, Ms. Maroney,
我觉得您应该在今晚节目结束时献唱一曲
I think you should sing at the end of the show tonight.
太好了 我要十架钢琴 Jake的事好运啦
Wonderful! I'll need ten pianos.Good luck with, uh, Jake.
今天大家都非得疯疯癫癫的吗?
Does everybody have to be crazy today?
亲爱的同事们
Beloved coworkers!
生命...匆匆流逝 我们还没看彼此一眼
Oh, life... it goes by so fast. We barely look at each other.
我没料到 这一切即将远去
I didn't realize all this was going on.
再见 这个世界
Good-bye. Good-bye, world.
再见 长发男 再见 Richard Esposito
Good-bye, long-hair guy. Good-bye, Richard Esposito.
回家陪妻子和八个漂亮的孩子吧
Go home to your wife and eight beautiful children.
你们都好美 - 搞什么呐?
You're all so beautiful. - What the what?...?
各位 我知道自己平时少言寡语 但...
Um, guys, I know I don't normally say much, but...
什么 丫头 说话啊
what, woman? Speak!
节目两周以前就正式取消了
Well, officially, the show was canceled two weeks ago.
所以这不就是第八季了吗
So isn't this technically season eight?
也就是说我们要按字母顺序重新轮了
Which means we start over at the beginning of the alphabet.
所以新的选餐人是... - 我!