我为喜剧狂（2006）

And then you're like, "no. Duh. Into the slaughtering chute."
你若是对的 我就碰上问题了
If you're right, I have a problem.
一切问题都能解决
And every problem can be solved.
六西格玛原则说得好 全面分♥析♥ 制定战略 取得成功
As I was taught at Six Sigma... Analyze, strategize, succeed."A.S.S."
这个问题我搞定 一屁屁坐死它
I'm going to crush this problem... With my ass.
Tracy Jordan来见Kenneth Parcell
Tracy Jordan to see Ken-tucky derby.
Parcell先生在开会
Mr. Parcell's in a meeting.
这样啊 好吧
I see. Very well.
告诉他 商量好的我才来的 我叫Tracy...
Tell him Tracy came by from his promise.
"T" 就是英文那个茶 "R" 就是海盗嚷嚷那个
That's Tracy... "t" as in the drink,"r" as in the pirate noise,
"A" 就是Fonzie那个声儿 "C" 就是英文那个海怪
"a" as in the Fonzie noise, "c" as in sea monster,
"Y" 就是为啥明知指望不上 却还要交朋友
"y" as in why do we even make friends if they're gonna let you down when we need them the most?
我姓"Jordan" "J" 就是我怕怕的那个鸟儿
Last name "Jordan." "J" as in the birds I'm afraid of...
我是居家妈妈 以前有份高压工作 最近辞职
"I'm a stay-at-home mom who, until recently, had a high-pressure job.
如何过渡 求建议
Any advice on dealing with that transition?"
我把所有精力都用来照顾孩子
"I put all my old work energy into parenting.
孩子不待见我 压力更大
My kids hate me, which gives me more parenting to do."
神呐 忍♥不了听你们这帮居家女吐槽啦
"Oh, my god, I am so sick of listening to you stay-at-home moms whine.
你出来讨生活试试
Try being a working parent."
试过了 被炒来的 因为脑子不灵光
"I did, but I got fired... For stupidity."
我真想跟你们换
"I'd switch places with any of you.
我颧骨漂漂哦
And I have amazing cheekbones."
楼主: 说一句 有人喜欢工作哈
"Original poster: For your information,some people like work."
真的 你喜欢一天收Jerry40封邮件 个个挂个红叹号♥哇
"Really? You like having 40 emails from Jerry, all with a red exclamation point?
Jerry 全部紧急哇
Oh, they're all urgent, Jerry?"
某些人认为工作让人充实 有成就感
"'Cause some people think that work can be fulfilling and validating.
比如 说唱歌♥手T.I.曾这样写道
"For example, the rapper T.I., who wrote,
"糖块儿块儿 好好工作 别吐槽呀 好好工作"
"'better get on yo job, tell 'em. Haters get on yo job, nougats.'"
反正我听的是"糖块儿块儿"
at least, I think he was saying "nougats."
无语了 看来某些人脑残
"Well, I don't know what to say. I guess some people are idiots."
贱♥人♥ 敢在太岁头上动土
"Bitch, you are on my last nerve."
呢么地吧
"Then why don't you do something about it?"
行啊 婆子 河畔公园 河马乐园 十分钟后见
Gladly, friend-o... Riverside park, hippo playground,ten minutes.
好得很 我家孩子常在那儿玩
"Perfect. I take my darling children there all the time."
我穿紫色毛衣
"I'll be the one wearing a purple sweater
我要把孩子圈在你脖子上
and wrapping a baby swing around some skank's neck."
"快乐大圆盘"
慈善
家庭
工作
恋爱&床事
屁屁来袭啦
Time for an ass attack.
股价创新高
Kabletown股市收盘再创新高
Kabletown shares closing at a new high today.
CEO Jack Donaghy上周拉响开市铃
CEO Jack Donaghy, who rang the opening bell last week,
强调了潜在增长能力...
has emphasized the growth potential in...
现在你哥我是大♥师♥
Now I am the sensei!
门边的停车位是我的
The parking space closest to the door is mine.
爱好
这是什么呀
What do we have here?
世上只有我爹好
今天由我和新搭档"上校"共同主持
Joining us this hour is my new co-host, the Colonel.
看来今日中西部还是一派寒冷啊
Looks like another cold one today in the midwest.
是啊 穿暖点 诸位
Yeah, so bundle up, everyone.
有机会的话 找个车撞撞
And if you can, get hit by a car.
能进医院暖和几天 还有汤喝
You get to spend a couple days in the hospital,and they'll give you soup.
♪ this little light of mine ♪
♪ this little light of mine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
♪ this little light of mine ♪
♪ this little light of mine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
Nancy 我知道这有悖常规
Nancy, I know this is unconventional,
但我真觉得三人行能成
but I really think a group relationship could work.
这可是造孽啊 Jack 但她的确热辣辣
What you're proposing is a sin, Jack, but she is wicked hot.
Elisa 你觉得呢
Elisa, what do you say?
你俩得来配偶探访 我在波多黎各蹲号♥子呢
It would have to be a conjugal visit, because I am in a puerto rican jail.
"法律与秩序:特殊受害者"
Jenna 感谢帮忙 我们老激动了
Jenna, thank you so much for doing this.What a thrill.
很高兴终于与挚爱为伴
Oh, I am just so glad to finally return to my two loves...
它们就是戏剧化表演和性犯罪
Dramatic acting and sex crimes.
得 第一场很简单
Yeah. Well, uh, this first scene is super simple.
Munch和fin发现你的尸体
Munch and fin find your body.
啥 我挂了
Wait. What? I die?
你没拿到重写本
Didn't you get the rewrite?
要是我挂了 怎么当常规角色
But if I'm dead, how can I become a recurring character?
如果不常规 我怎么躲避麻烦事 像这种
And if I'm not a recurring character, how will I get away with horrible stuff, like this?
来吧
Let's do this.
那是我的词
That's what I was about to say.
来吧 场记
Let's do it!
准备 开拍
Slate it! And... action!
听说是保洁阿姨今早发现的
Word is, cleaning lady found her... Early this morning.
还活着呢
Oh, still alive.
还有谁能进来
Who else had access?
我脚疼 不过没事
Ow! My foot hurts, but I'm okay.
受了伤 破案才有动力
I think this injury has given me crime-solving powers.
"法律与秩序:聪明美女"
It's law & order: Mind beauty.
我不干了 这女的哪来的
I'm done. Who is this chick?
拍电视太掉价 姐只接电影了
All television is beneath me. I will only do cinema.
没人在乎 Jenna
No one cares, Jenna.
我要去天使之城
I am going to the city of angels,
一家兽医院给我开狗狗镇静剂 缓解乘飞机压力
a veterinary hospital where I get dog sedatives that help me relax when I fly.
然后就直飞洛杉矶
Then I'm flying to Los Angeles!
白了 你们这帮基佬收♥容♥所♥领汤的家伙
Good-bye forever, you soup line at a gay homeless shelter.
Crisstopher Rick Chros 搞笑吧
Crisstopher Rick Chros. Are you kidding me?
Liz 这里现在太危险
Liz, you don't want to be here right now,
我要当面抽那个女的
'cause I got to go smack that woman in the face.
Criss 你是跟我打 我是楼主
Criss... You're here to fight me. I'm the original poster.
妈呀 你几时开始听T.I的
Oh, my god! Since when do you listen to T.I.?
人家那是妈咪留言区 我以为你是女的
That message board is for moms.I thought you were a lady.
你不是说颧骨漂漂么
You said you had amazing cheekbones.
Chros 你来干嘛
Chros, what are you doing here?
不知道 我讨厌工作
I don't know. I just hate being at work.
坐办公室坐得抓狂 我没完没了起来喝咖啡
Sitting at a desk makes me crazy,so I keep getting up and getting coffee.
现在都变得神经兮兮 啊 大鸟
Now I'm all jittery and weird and... bird!
你讨厌工作
So you hate work?
有个妈妈带着孩子来看Emily医生 我居然嫉妒人家
And this mom came in with her kids to see Dr. Emily,and I was jealous of her.
她家孩子无聊得不行 我真想蹦过去
Her kids were so bored, I just wanted to jump over that
陪他们玩 地毯大冒险什么的
divider and play waiting games with them,like carpet adventure.
或者蜘蛛大手
Or that one where your hands are spiders.
对的对的
Hand spiders.
是啊 我讨厌工作 而你却很怀念
Yeah, so... I hate work, and evidently you miss it.
我知道 我当妈妈真不称职
I know. I'm a terrible mother.
妈呀 你要是个爷们儿 才不会这么想呢
Oh, my god, if you were a dude, you would not even be thinking that.
想工作没有错 总要有人养家嘛
It's okay to want to work.One of us has to.
咱家只是反了
We just got it backwards.
你是当爹的
You're... the dad.
我看电视是不爱搭理你提问
I do like ignoring your questions while I try to watch TV.
对嘛 我该呆在家 你该去上班
Exactly! I should be the one staying at home. You should be in an office.
这才是咱家的和谐
That's how our family's supposed to work.
只是我没地儿上班了
Except I don't have an office to go back to.
跟Kenneth说说 比如
Well, so pitch something to Kenneth,like, I don't know,
做一档节目 好比牙医办公室里 一个时髦保健学家说
a show about a dentist's office where the sassy hygienist says things like,
"我又30了"
"I'm turning 30... Again."
我会想念Tyrell的
I will miss Tyrell.
知道吗 Kenneth就喜欢这种垃圾
You know, that's exactly the kind of garbage that Kenneth is looking for.
为了家人 姐陪他玩
And for the sake of my family, I'm gonna give it to him.
该死 我的起搏器动静咋这么大
Damn it! Why did I get such a loud pacemaker?
Tray Kenneth不会来了
Tray, Kenneth is not coming.
你以为我不知道
You think I don't know that?
早先去他办公室
When I went up to Ken's office earlier,
我在她助理的黄♥片♥儿小盒上 看到他的日程
I saw his schedule on his assistant's pornography box!
你说电脑 - 管它是什么
You mean computer? - Whatever.
他根本没会要开 就是在躲着我
He doesn't have meetings. He's avoiding me.
当这是我儿子钢琴独奏么?
What am I... My son's piano recital?
你得为Kenneth想想
Put yourself in Kenneth's shoes.
做不到 他不在 别折磨我了
I can't! He's not here!Stop torturing me!