我为喜剧狂（2006）

He refused to betray the network by stealing the script for that show about the catering company!
♪ 欢迎来到神奇的世界 ♪
♪ Welcome to a world of magic ♪
Kenneth 你很快就要穿回清洁工的制♥服♥了
Kenneth, you are very close to being back in a janitor's uniform.
噢 不要啊 那制♥服♥是用厕所里的头发做的
Oh, please, no. That fabric was made from toilet-clog hair.
而且在这世上 没有比这制♥服♥ 对我来说更有意义的东西了
And there is nothing in the world that means more to me than this uniform.
你知道我是有多爱这地方的
You know how much I love this place, sir.
你的确深深地爱着孔雀台
You do peacock peacock.
所以请你听我说
So please listen to me when I tell you
MacGuffin先生是最好的人选
Mr. MacGuffin here is the man for the job.
实际上 Kenneth 我同意
Actually, Kenneth, I agree.
Charlie 你跟Kenneth说说 为什么你会这么清楚NBC
Charlie, tell Kenneth here why you know so much about NBC.
要是你准备把东西拆开的话 你就要知道它是怎么运作的
Well, you have to know how something works if you're going to strip it for parts.
什么? - 电视产业已经快完了
What? - Broadcast television is dying.
我们唯一要做的就是关门大吉 让电视台倒闭
The only move is to shut down the network,pull the copper out of the walls,
然后把这楼变成永远21 (服装品牌)
and turn this building into a forever 21.
这是你对NBC的计划吗?
That's what you would do to NBC?
总有一天 你要狠下心来做你该做的事的 Ken
At some point, you gotta turn the horse into glue, Ken.
那简直是暴殄珍物
That is a waste of delicious dead horse.
Donaghy先生 请你不要这样做
Mr. Donaghy, don't do this.
或许他有一个漂亮的学位 还会用像"开会"和"信封"这样的商业词汇
He may have a fancy degree, and know lots of business terms, like "meeting" and "envelope."
但要是他只想达到盈利 那他就不是你要找的人
But if all he cares about is the bottom line, he's not right for the job.
Kenneth 你刚刚描述的也是我啊
Kenneth, you also just described me.
你是说我不适合做这份工作吗?
Are you saying I wasn't right for the job?
是的 先生 你不适合
No, sir. You were not.
我不知道你说什么
I know you don't mean that.
Kenneth?
Kenneth?
尴了个尬!
Awk-ward!
这是什么?
What am I looking at?
我怎么就剩下头发和眼睛了 这太好了
I'm just hair and eyes. It's perfect.
Pete 过来
Pete, a word?
我跟你说过我们要用绿幕来拍
I told you, we have to do everything on greenscreen.
这不是你写的吗 "要是绿巨人有欲望怎么办?"
You're the one who wrote-all this says is "what if the jolly green giant was horny?"
这是我们赞助商写的
It's a note from our sponsor.
怎么样!
Boo-yah!
等等 那是啥? 是乐队吗?
Wait, what is that? Where's the band?
我们请不起乐队 还有工会群众
We can't afford a band... Or a union crew.
所以我们只能用胡乱凑组合了?
So what, we're using scabs?
你不是我的女友 你谁的女友都不是!
You're not my girlfriend. You're nobody's girlfriend!
这真是个灾难啊
This is a disaster.
我觉得这太棒了 不过坦白说 我刚才喝了死藤水
I think it's awesome, but full disclosure, I just drank ayahuasca.
我没空啊 Criss
Not a good time, Criss.
你还在办公室吗? 你没收到我的信息吗?
You still at the office?Did you not get my messages?
我没时间做任何事
I haven't had a second to do anything.
你知道我今天午饭吃了什么吗?
Do you know what I had for lunch today?
两片批萨 一个色拉 一碗汤 还有中间有果冻的曲奇
Two pieces of pizza, a garden salad, a cup of soup, this cookie thing with a jelly center.
我在机场啊 Liz 孩子们一个小时后就到了
I'm at JFK, Liz. The kids land in an hour.
什么? - Bev在邮件里写反了
What? - Bev's email had it backwards.
他们不是1月29日搭124班机
They're not coming in on 1/29 on flight 124.
而是1月24号♥搭129班机
They're coming in on 1/24 on flight 129.
天啊 他们来了 - 他们来了 Liz
Oh, my god, they're coming. - They're coming, Liz.
Kebletown的董事会 已经在路上了
The Kabletown board, they're on their way up.
我不能去 我要工作
I... I can't go. I can't leave work.
不 你在说什么呢? 你必须要来的
No, what are you talking about? You have to.
妥协吧 Criss 就算我没有出现在和孩子们 第一次见面的时刻 那又怎么样呢?
Compromises, Criss. Okay, so I won't be there when we meet our kids for the first time... so what?
别的很多事情我都会在场的
I'll be around for lots of other stuff.
这一次不在有什么关系呢
I mean, how important is being there this one time?
你知道这很重要的 Liz! 你知道
It's really important, Liz! You know that.
我也知道这里每个人都 等着我来拯救他们的饭碗
I also know that everyone here is counting on me to save their jobs right now.
因为别人都不能胜任 靠
And nobody else can do it because, damn it,
这是Bro Body Douche为您带来的 "男人的山洞" 我是Todd Debeikis
this is bro body douche presents the man cave, and I am Todd Debeikis!
不是吧
No.
各位 我有点为Todd担心呢
Guys, I'm worried about Todd.
我很忙 Kenneth
I'm extraordinarily busy, Kenneth.
我想你已经做好决定了
I assume you've made your decision.
是的 我决定了 - 很好
Yes, I have. - Very well.
但你要知道我拒绝看着这家电视台分崩离析
But you should know that I refuse to watch this network get torn apart.
Kenneth... - 你才Kenneth呢!
Kenneth... - You Kenneth!
虽然我很痛苦 但我不得不辞去听差工作
As much as it pains me, I have no choice but to quit the page program.
罪恶的世界里有蠢货的善行之光足矣
So shines a goon's deed in a weary world.
Kenneth
Kenneth.
七年了 我从没把工作做好
Seven years, and I've never gotten it right.
我满心以为会成功的节目...都失败了
Every show I was sure would succeed... Failed.
猴子还挺有意思的 靠
I mean, the monkey was funny, damn it.
然后 我试图草草对付电视台 让Hank把电视台卖♥♥掉...
And then, when I tired to tank the network so Hank would sell it...
那现在呢? - 我让电视台变得更好了
What's that now?- I actually made it better.
"同音词"是第一个在伊朗播放的美国节目
Homonym is the first U.S. TV show to be broadcast in Iran.
(鸟语) "Sheer " "Sheer"
Kalamayeh badee hast "sheer." "Sheer."
(鸟语)...呃... "Sheer" (仍然是鸟语)
Chashp... uh... "Sheer" mesle gorbeh ye bozorg.
(鸟语在继续)
Nah. Ooh yekee deegast.
(还是鸟语)
Khak to saret!
不像我工作过的其他地方 这行业毫无逻辑
Unlike every other place I've ever worked, this business makes no sense.
不管你上了哈佛商学院还是...
And it doesn't matter if you went to Harvard business school or...
你大学的吉祥物和校长是头戴帽子的熊
Your college mascot and president was a bear in a hat?
没错 电视行业太疯狂了
Exactly. This industry is totally irrational.
如果我的资质学历和经验都不重要
So if all my credentials and degrees and experience don't matter,
那说明这份工作的资格要求就是... 热爱电视
that means the only qualification for this job is... loving television.
你在说什么呢? 先生
What are you saying, sir?
我是说我终于要做点有利于电视台的事了
I'm saying I'm finally going to do something for this network that I know is right.
你喜欢NBC 对吧? Kenneth
You like NBC, don't you, Kenneth?
喔 我觉得这是世界上最好的地方
Oh, I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole wide world.
很好
Good.
因为我要把它交给你
Because I'm giving it to you.
所有的一切
The whole thing.
你就是全国广播公♥司♥的下任总裁
You're the next president of the national broadcasting company.
欢迎来到男人洞
Welcome to the man cave.
给雄性看的电视节目
TV for your peen.
安息吧 Todd
R.I.P., Todd.
他为啥没穿戏服
Why isn't he in costume?
Kabletown董事会的女士们先生们 我不干了
Ladies and gentlemen of the Kabletown board, I quit.
我也不干了 - 你们在搞什么飞机啊
So do I. - What the hell are you doing?
他俩可有可无... 我们可以找来David Alan Grier和猪小姐
They're replaceable... we can get David Alan grier and miss piggy.
我来告诉你我们要干嘛吧 LL
I'll tell you what we're doing, ll.
我们终于站出来了
We're finally stepping up.
这个节目太差劲了
This show is a disaster.
除了向Todd Debeikis致敬那个很感人的一句
Except for the very moving Todd Debeikis tribute.
Todd 我们会想念你的
Todd, we'll miss you.
我知道你想拯救TGS 柠檬头 但是TGS已经不在了
I know you want to save TGS, Lemon head, but there is no TGS to save.
你现在该在机场接你的辣椒
And you should be at the airport right now picking up your chili.
接孩子 Tracy - 孩子?
Children, Tracy.- Children?
你干嘛还呆在这儿啊
Why the hell are you still here?
我们知道你永远都不放弃的 这一次
We knew you'd never give up, so for once,
就让我们站出来做我们最擅长的事... 什么也不做
let us step up and do what we do best... nothing.
你们这么做是为了我吗?
You're doing this for me?
我们都是
We all are.
我不干了 Liz
I quit, Liz.
我也是
Me too.
我辞职 - 妈妈的小宝贝辞职
I quit. - Mommy's baby quits.
我其实两年前就辞职了
I actually quit two years ago.
Subhas不干了 怎么着
Subhas out. Suck it!
快走啊 女士
Get out of here, lady!
我看上她了
I hit that.
等会 是他们吗
Hang on. Is that them?
那是双胞胎吗 - 不是吧
Is that the twins?- No way!
所以这是可能的咯
So it is possible.
对 我在Maury秀上看到过
Yeah, I saw it on Maury
那是相机吗? 我要你照我好看那边
is that a camera?I'm gonna need you on my good side.
怎么样啊 Liz Lemon
What up, Liz Lemon?
我明天不能去上学了 因为蜥蜴的关系
I will not be able to attend school tomorrow because of an issue with my lizard.
人生终于走上正轨了
That seems about right.
♪ 欢迎来到魔法世界♪
♪ Welcome to a world of magic ♪
♪ 这只满电的遥控器可以娱乐你的生活 ♪