我为喜剧狂（2006）

所以你要负责它
So you're gonna be in charge of him.
不 Jenna 我对狗过敏 - 噢 别担心
No, Jenna, I'm allergic to dogs.- Oh, don't worry.
他吃的药已经使他没毛了
He's hairless because of his insanity medication.
还有 既然这是一个惊喜的婚礼
Also, since this is a surprise wedding,
你要穿着你的伴娘服到处走
you're gonna want to carry around your bridesmaid's dress with you at all times.
你看 这件衣服在我旁边看上去多好看
Look how great this is gonna look next to me.
你知道我不能穿绿色的 Jenna
You know I can't wear green, Jenna.
那个Clinique专柜的小姐说我有巫师脸
The Clinique lady says I have witch undertones.
Liz 这次的重点不是你
Liz, this isn't about you.
好了 今晚 我们要去一家餐饮公♥司♥试餐
Now, tonight, we have a tasting with the caterer.
这次将会是分子口味的
It's gonna be molecular gastronomy.
蛋糕将会是一个没味道的泡沫 - 竟然没有蛋糕?
The cake is a tasteless foam. - There's no cake?
今晚NBC将奉上
Tonight on NBC...
"搞砸它吧" 年度最炫真人秀
Tank it,the reality event of the year
我们让老爷爷们穿上背心然后嘲笑他们
where we make grandpas put on tank tops and then laugh at them.
"搞砸它"
Tank it.
你知道吗? 我今晚什么都做不了
You know what? I can't do anything tonight.
因为今晚将是你的单身派对
Because tonight is your surprise bachelorette party! Aah!
不会吧! 你早计划好了?
Aah! No way! You planned it already?
当然 而且你的期待最好很高
Sure. And you should get your hopes way up.
今晚8点在我家见
See you at my apartment at 8:00.
你家? 为什么? - 有惊喜哦
Your apartment? Why?- It's a surprise.
没有什么比Lemon惊喜派对更糟的了
And there's nothing worse than a surprise Lemon party.
亲爱的
Kenneth, darling,
你干嘛不出去弄点甜点回来?
why don't you run out and get dessert?
哦 但我们有冰激凌了
Oh, but we have government ice cream.
你就要拿这个来给Tracy Jordan吃吗?
And that's what you're gonna serve to Tracy Jordan?
我也一样吃惊 - 哦 好吧
I'm as shocked as anybody.- Oh, uh, okay.
或许监狱的贩卖♥♥机能用了
Oh, maybe the nice vending machine at the prison is working again.
你是个真正的男人 Tracy Jordan
You're a real man, Tracy Jordan,
在我整晚都在撩你腿后 还那么淡定
playing it cool all night while I rubbed your foot under the table.
我的腿? 不 那是我的鞋垫子
My foot?No. That's shoe stuffing.
帮助我保持鞋的形状的
It helps keep the shape of my shoes.
你干吗要撩我脚啊?
Why was you rubbing my foot anyway?
拜托了 你知道这是什么意思
Please.You know what's happening here.
我从来不知道什么是什么意思
I never know what's happening anywhere.
好了 我们来开派对吧!
Okay, let's get this party started!
噢 我闻到了有意大利男人
Ooh, I smell Italian guys.
这是什么情况? - 就是你的告别单身趴体
What is this?- It's your bachelorette party.
这是下了班的Bethany 和一帮邻居 还有一个小丑
Bethany from work is here, and a bunch of my neighbors,a clown.
还有NBC台在连播的God Cop
And there's a god cop marathon on NBC.
我觉得Esposito骗了我们 - 什么叫"你觉得"? 你是上帝啊!
I think Esposito lied to us.- What do you mean "you think"? You're god!
我不懂这些规则神马的
I don't understand the rules of this.
我们来祷告吧
Let us pray.
向谁?
To whom?
在你说任何话前 我还有一个惊喜
Before you say anything,I have one more surprise for you.
警官 我们准备好了!
Officer, we're ready!
谢天谢地
Oh, thank god.
听着姑娘们 你们麻烦大了
Listen up, ladies. You're all in a lot of trouble
如果不警惕身份被盗
if you don't protect yourselves against identity theft.
拿本小册子 大伙儿传阅
Please take a pamphlet, pass them along.
好吧 你郁闷了
Okay, you're upset.
谁让你找Liz Lemon当伴娘呢
But this is what you get when you choose Liz Lemon as your maid of honor.
好了 早死早超生吧
Oh, so let's get this over with.
不可能比这个再糟了
I mean, what's the worst you could possibly...
Tracy 只要能在你电影里演坏蛋 你姐我无底线
Tracy, I will do anything to play a villain in one of your movies.
我就是为镜头而生 尤其有我的蓝咪♥咪♥
The camera loves me.Especially when I flash my baby blues.
咋会是蓝的? - 对的
Why are they Blue?- Yeah.
Hazel 哥结婚了
No.I'm married, Hazel.
我也是啊 如果他一醒 姐就挂了!
So am I.And if he ever wakes up from that coma, I'm dead!
所以才今朝有酒今朝醉
That's why I live for today.
你利用Kenneth 我要告诉他!
You're just using Kenneth, and I'm telling him everything!
随你便 试试看
Whatever. Go ahead and try.
还得试 还让不让哥活了!
I'm gonna have to try?Worst night ever!
找个明星朋友当伴娘嘛!
Just ask one of your famous friends to be maid of honor!
你以为我找你作甚?
Why do you think I asked you in the first place?
因为你没名气!
Because you're not famous!
你以为我戳你在那儿抢我风头哇?
You think I want someone up there with me that other people are looking at?
要的就是你啥也不是!
I wanted you because you're nothing!
了解 你不想要琵琶姐 (英国皇妃Kate Middleton的妹妹)
Yeah, I get it.You didn't want to get Pippa Middleton.
你提她作甚?
Why would you even mention her?
小丽啊 谁给我做伴娘啊? 木有人了啊
Who's gonna be my maid of honor now, Liz?Nobody.
不破不立
From the rubble, I will build.
小声念叨我啥呢? - 有了 Jenna
Are you talking about me underneath your breath?- Jenna, that's it.
没人能做你伴娘 因为只有一个人胜任
Nobody will be your maid of honor because there's only one person who can be.
你自个儿 - 啥 你秀逗了哇
You.- What? That's crazy.
想想看 没人抢你风头
Think about it.There would be nobody to steal your spotlight.
你一人能顶两头风
In fact, you would have two spotlights.
我的伴娘应该婚礼上献唱 - 这个可以有
I think the maid of honor should sing at my wedding.- Sure.
还要走时装秀 贯穿整晚
And she could do a fashion show that takes the audience all the way through the wedding night.
坐轮椅入场怎样 然后站起来 大家拍手 然后哭呀哭?
And what if she came in in a wheelchair,and then stood up, and everyone applauded and cried?
我知道你觉得我没谱儿 现在看到了吧 能行的
I know you doubted me, but now you see my plan could work.
你怎么说?
So what do you say?
掺和不 小丽? - 你叫我小丽!
Are you on board, Liz?- You just called me Liz!
没事儿 一剪辑就没了 Jonathan...
Oh, we can fix that in the cutting room.Uh, Jonathan...
我车呢?
Where's my car?
Kenneth 我有事告诉你
Kenneth, I have something I need to tell you.
昨晚你走后 Hazel来找我 要加入我的电影
Last night when you left, Hazel came on to me 'cause she wants me to put her in a movie.
Hazel 是真的?
Hazel, is this true?
真的 个你的头!
Yeah, it is true.Not!
我说的是坚决不为上镜去睡Tracy
What I said was I would never sleep with Tracy for a part in a movie.
拉倒吧 你求之不得呢
Oh, please, you would love for me to fall asleep on top of you.
得了 肯亲洗刷刷 你信谁的?
Come on, kenmore washers and dryers,who you gonna believe here?
我最好的朋友 - 不是我
My best friend. - Not really.
我女朋友 - 美死你
And my girlfriend. - You wish.
我一直都信你 先生 因为你上电视嘛
Well, I always believe you, sir,because you're on television.
还有网络剧呦
And webisodes.
可昨天你说妹纸都是女皇 说的话都是真理
But yesterday you told me our women are queens,and they're always right,
所以我该信Hazel
which means I should believe Hazel.
那样的话你就错了 Jordan先生
But that would make you wrong, Mr. Jordan.
之前你都没错过
And you've never been wrong about anything before.
天赋当饭吃啊 - 你俩不可能都对
It's a blessing and a purse.- You can't both be right.
除非Hazel一直是对的
Unless Hazel is always right.
但得你说才行 那你也是对的
But only because you said so, Mr. Jordan,which means you're right too.
两边都没错 就像亲吻小妹妹
And both sides being right is like kissing your sister.
爽歪歪呀爽歪歪!
A wonderful treat!
砸锅了吧 Jordan 看看半年后谁还混得下去
Bad move, Jordan.We'll see who's still working here in six months.
鞭炮把耳朵炸坏了
My hearing is bad because of firecrackers,
看看半年后谁还混得下去
but we'll see who's still working here in six months.
那是我刚说的 - 啥?
That's what I just said. - What?
好吧 我懂了 有时搞破坏是唯一的选择
Okay, I get it.Sometimes tanking it is the only option.
你干嘛了? 为了不参加公益长跑装扭伤?
What did you do?Fake a sprained ankle to get out of that breast health 5k?
跑了 但忘了穿运动型bra 够讽刺
No, I did that.I forgot my sports bra, so ironically...
无所谓 Lemon 你开窍我欣慰啊
uh, it doesn't matter, Lemon.I'm just glad that you've seen the light.
帮我搞垮NBC 利人利己
Now, help me tank NBC, and you'll be helping yourself.
你会得到你想要的
You'll have it all.
Jack 现在大清早啊
Jack, it's 9:30 in the morning.
咱又不是敬业青年
We're not trying to do a good job here, Lemon.
给句话吧 干不干?
Now, what do you say?Are you in?
灭了它的
Let's take this mother down.
我为喜剧狂 第七季 第01集
下个词 "sent" - 不知道
Next word, "sent." - I don't care.
好吧 "cent"就是一分钱
Okay, "cent" like a penny. Whatever.
不对
No! Sorry, no.
啊 起死回生
Oh, it's a homonym double down.
还有一次机会
Means you get to guess again."Sent."
好吧 那就是"Scent" 一种味道
okay, um...Then "scent" like a smell or an odor.
不对 是第三个 - 我勒个去
No. It's the third one. - **** yourself!
下一个 au pair (法语 女佣 pair音同pear)
Next word is "au pere."
这还有啥猜头 外国保姆 阿姨的嘛
What? There is only one definition.It's like a nanny, a foreign nanny.
八对 惊叹水果也可以啊 oh pear/啊! 梨!